Busted


Couple Of The Year - Volume 1

Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format.

GLENN: And let me ask you this. Is there anyone in the sound of my voice that busted their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse last week? Was anyone busting anyone else? I told you last week on Valentine's Day that that is the big day for private eyes and busting people. Because Valentine's Day is the day that you -- oh, you've got to go get a gift. You've got to go -- and so if you're having an affair, you've got to go and, you know, get them a gift or be with them for a few minutes or whatever. And if your wife or your husband is suspecting that you're cheating, this is the day that they follow you around. And women can just smell it on you. I mean, they just know. And guys are bad hiding it, you know? "You were working late today, honey." "Yes, yes, I had a lot of extra work to do." "You don't have a job." "Yeah, I was... I was working looking on a job. That's what I was doing." Yeah. "At 1:00 a.m.?" "Uh-huh -- I mean, no. Crap." I mean, just stupid guys. Did anybody catch anybody last week?

Also I was reading a psychology magazine the other day mostly to find out how many psychiatric problems I have and it's, ooh. After I stopped counting, there was an article in it on what attracts people together. What is it that brings people together initially? The article explained, you know, a lot of things. But really, I mean in a nutshell the subtitle could be Why Glenn Beck Isn't a Ladies Man back in the day. But they say that voice plays a big part. Men prefer a higher pitched voice in women. Women prefer deeper voices in men. And that's been a cross I've had to bear.

Stu, would you go for the -- I mean, when they say higher pitched women, is it just that they -- I don't -- you know, women who are like, yep, I know, it just really kind of -- I don't want that but I mean, I'm not looking for a mousey voice. That's driving me nuts.

STU: Yeah, Glenn, that's true. You don't want the squeaky voice. You want the nice pitch but I think --

GLENN: Dan, are you feeling the same way?

DAN: Yeah, man, I know exactly what you're talking about.

GLENN: I actually -- you know what? You know what kind of voice I'm attracted to in women? You know what I think is the hottest voice is the raspy voice in women.

STU: Yeah, but not the -- you don't want to go to the smoker's voice because you get that... "Hey, how are you," that.

GLENN: You don't want the -- when they're breathing in, you don't want to hear the (gasping)... so anyway, I was telling you that... yeah, you don't want -- you've been smoking for years and years, haven't you?

STU: Yeah, you want that, kind of like a piano bar at 11:00 p.m., a little rasp but it's not that much.

GLENN: Yeah. But I don't know if I could live with that my whole life. You know what I mean? I don't know if I'd like to hear, you know, "So you need to start picking up your underwear off the bathroom floor." Although that might be actually -- although that might kind of work for you.

STU: Yeah, I think it's a short-term thing.

GLENN: It might be short-term, yeah, it might be short-term. You know, the problem is, at least with me, you know, when I was dating -- and I'm still like this. I just absolutely clam up around -- well, now it's around almost everybody. I'm so uncomfortable in small, one-on-one stuff. I have no idea what to say to anybody. Isn't that weird? This is what I do for a living. And I have, like, no idea what to say. I get so uncomfortable. And if it -- when I was dating or when I was in high school, completely clam up around, you know, girls. I mean, absolutely completely silent. You go out on a date and you're like, yeah, I know, uh-huh. That's the cardinal sin, they say, for guys, you know, and especially guys like me. If your voice eclipses, your face is your star quality, you've got to keep yapping, man, and that's -- I mean, whew. The fact that I have a voice makes it my star quality over my face but that's a different -- they actually say that to women your voice can actually enhance your looks. I mean, if I would have known that in 1979, man, I wouldn't have stopped talking. Wait a minute. That doesn't work. That's exactly what I've done and it didn't work out well for me.

Article goes on to talk about humor and posture and sense and all the other indicators like facial features. You know what? I'm not a psychologist but I am a thinker and a little bit crazy. But I think they're missing a couple of factors here. I mean, you know, the posture and everything, I guess, and humor, sure, that's -- but I mean, men are shallow, you know what I mean? Legs, butts. You know, I'm just saying we're pathetic but we're on a roll here. You know what I mean, that kind of -- women, you're shallow as well. Let's be honest. Granted, you're less shallow than men and I give you that, but you're shallow. For a lot of women it's fame and money. I mean, I don't know who's worse, men or women. You know, men are willing to overlook a lot of flaws if she's hot. You know, she could rob banks for a living and be like, cool. You want to come up to the apartment? She could even be Progressive. That's how pathetic we are. She could be Progressive. She could be wearing really comfortable shoes as a Progressive and you'd be like, "Really? Birkenstocks, huh? Want to come up?" I mean, we're that shallow. "Yeah, I'm totally into a carbon neutral lifestyle." "Yeah. Yeah, me, too." "Aren't you driving a tank?" "It's a hybrid tank, though, sweetheart. It runs on vegetable oil. I stop by McDonald's and I empty their old Frialator oil, and I'm thinking about taking the profits from the wealthiest 1% and with the tank and just giving it right directly to the poor." "Really?" "Yeah. Want to come up?" And women are just as bad. Money and fame, the really sad part is it can be like local flame that works for them, you know? "Oh, you play in a band?" "Yeah, we rotate between Chip's Pub and Frankie's Bar, totally rock out." "Oh, you're so talented. That's kind of cute, too." I mean, you talk yourself into hooking up with some ugly local, somewhat famous dude and if there's money involved, it's even worse. "I was thinking that, you know, maybe you and I could go to dinner some night, you know." "I'm probably about Z that night." "All right. Well, if you change your mind, let me know. I'll pick you up in my Bugatti." "Oh, wait a minute. I think I have an opening tonight." I mean, I think that's why so many people found themselves in a predicament or Valentine's Day because, shallow, you know, pathetic. Boobs, butts, money, that's really -- I mean, that describes most of us, doesn't it? And that's why we like a good marriage success story, because naturally, you know, we're all like, "If she could put her butt in my Bugatti, we're a perfect match." And somehow, somehow or another there's a few -- I can't believe it. I mean, I've got my wife caught in such a scam, she's like a good person and everything. I don't know what the heck she's doing with me. You know what I'm saying? A few of us like, all of a sudden we've, like, we've, like, lucked out and we're sitting here and we're like, shut up. I mean, Stu and I -- Stu, God's honest truth. I don't know why we're whispering because it's not like your wives could hear us -- not hear us if we're whispering and they are listening to the radio.

STU: Good point.

GLENN: But honestly you and I have had the conversation a million times. Have no idea why my wife is married to me or why your wife is married to you.

STU: I know, I know. They got with us when we were poor.

GLENN: We were poor. I mean, we were nobodies. They really thought -- I don't know about your wife. Did your wife, did she think you had a future?

STU: She may have thought I had a future but not a good one.

GLENN: I don't think my wife -- really somebody asked her the other day. You know, they expected her to answer, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I knew. Oh, I've always had confidence and I knew -- she didn't. Somebody said, did you know, did you have any idea when you married him that this would happen? And she just looked at them like, no, no idea, no. I thought he might be a garbage collector. Yeah, that we would be poor our whole lives. I'm like, I love you so much. I do. You're the best.

Legal scholar and famed criminal defense attorney Alan Dershowitz has a message for partisans dividing America: "A plague on both your houses." He voted for Hillary Clinton. He endorsed Joe Biden. He's a man who is basically the Forrest Gump of American judicial history.

Look up a big court case over the past few decades, and you'll probably see him standing in the background. He's represented notorious clients like Mike Tyson, Patty Hearst, Harry Reems, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and yes, Donald Trump. It's made him a target for both the left and right.

Alan also describes himself as a "civil libertarian," and that's probably why he and Glenn Beck get along despite their opposing political views. His story is like a history lesson, spanning half a century, and it just might be the key to bridging the political divide.

On this week's podcast, Alan explained that while he's a strong defender of the Constitution, he's never been a big fan of the Second Amendment. In the past he's called it absurd and outdated, and even today, he admits that he wouldn't have ingrained it into our Constitution if he was a framer. However, with the whole Bill of Rights under attack, he's now fully in defense of our right to bear arms. Because if the Second Amendment changes, any amendment could be next.

"I'm now a supporter of the Second Amendment. I don't want to change it. I don't want to change one word of it, because I'm afraid that if I get to change the Second Amendment, other people will get to change the First Amendment, and the Fifth Amendment," Alan said. "So, I am committed to preserving the Bill of Rights, every single word, every comma, and every space between the words."

Watch a clip from the full interview with Alan Dershowitz below:

Watch the full podcast below, on Glenn's YouTube channel, or on Blaze Media's podcast network.

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Investigative reporter David Steinberg joined the radio program Monday, to explain how a new video may provide enough evidence to begin a FBI investigation into alleged illegal practices by Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar's campaign.

In the video, which was produced and released by Project Veritas, residents of Omar's community describe campaign teams that not only conduct illegal ballot harvesting practices but also pay people for their blank absentee ballots.

Steinberg told Glenn that, if these charges prove to be true, the federal government could bypass Omar's friend and protector, Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison. Could 2020 be the beginning of the end for Omar's political career?

Watch the video below to catch Glenn's conversation with David Steinberg:

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Mike Fratantuono is the manager of Sunset Restaurant in Glen Burnie, Maryland. He wrote in the Washington Post's COVID-19 series about the recent, heartbreaking loss of his business, a restaurant that has been in his family for "four generations and counting."

"I know this virus is real, okay? It's real and it's awful. I'm not disputing any of that," Mike wrote. "But our national hysteria is worse. We allowed the virus to take over our economy, our small businesses, our schools, our social lives, our whole quality of life. We surrendered, and now everything is infected."

On the radio program Monday, Glenn Beck reacted to Mike's letter, which he shared in full, adding his hope that those in government are ultimately held responsible for what he called the biggest theft of the Western world.

"This is the biggest theft of, not only money, but of heritage and of hope," Glenn said. "The United States government and many of the states are responsible for this, not you. And hopefully someday soon, we'll return to some semblance of sanity, and those responsible for this theft, this rape of the Western world, will be held responsible."

Watch the video below for more details:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

We did our homework over the weekend; we did the research so we can tell you what is likely coming from Senate Democrats regarding President Trump's Supreme Court Nominee Amy Coney Barrett. Based on our research and the anonymous people who have already come forward to talk about Coney Barrett's youth, these are the main shocking things you can expect Senate Democrats to seize on during the confirmation process…

A man has come forward under the banner of "#MenToo," to say that in second grade, Amy Coney Barrett and her best friend at the time, cornered him at a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese and "injected him with a full dose of cooties." Which, if true, would obviously be disqualifying for serving on the highest court in the land.

Then there's a woman who says when she was nine-years-old, she lived on the same street as Amy Coney Barrett. She alleges that Coney-Barrett borrowed her VHS tape of Herbie Goes Bananas and did not return it for at least six months. And then when she did finally get the tape back, the woman says Coney Barrett did not even bother to rewind it. The FBI has interviewed at least two witnesses so far who say the tape was indeed not rewound and that it was very upsetting to the owner of the tape. Again, if true, this is troubling – clearly not the kind of integrity you want to see in a Supreme Court justice.

Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it.

The same neighbor also dropped a bombshell allegation about the drinking problem of Amy Coney Barrett and her closest friends. Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it. The neighbor says she "frequently" witnessed Coney-Barrett and her friends chugging entire cartons of milk – often Whole Milk, sometimes Chocolate Milk, occasionally both at the same time through a funnel.

Unfortunately, shooting-up cooties, injurious rewinding, and potential calcium-abuse are not even the worst of it.

A third person has now come forward, another man, and this is just reprehensible, it's hard to even fathom. But he alleges that in fourth grade, when they were around ten-years-old, Amy Coney Barrett and a group of "four or five of her friends" gang-GRAPED him on the playground during recess. He alleges the group of friends snuck uneaten grapes out of the cafeteria and gang-GRAPED him repeatedly in broad daylight. In other words, and I hate to have to spell this out because it's kind of graphic, but the group led by ten-year-old Amy Coney Barrett pelted this poor defenseless boy with whole grapes. He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

Obviously, even if just one of these allegations is half-true, no Senator with a conscience could possibly vote to confirm Coney Barrett. When there is a clear pattern of destructive childhood behavior, it always continues into adulthood. Because people do not change. Ever.

Fortunately, for the sake of the Republic, Democrats plan to subpoena Coney Barrett's childhood diary, to see what, if any, insights it may provide into her calcium habits, as well as her abuse of illicit cooties and the gang-GRAPING incident.

We will keep you posted on the latest, but for now, it looks like Democrats will find plenty in the reckless pre-teen life of Amy Coney Barrett to cast doubt on her nomination. And if not, they can always fall back on her deranged preference for letting babies be born.

[NOTE: The preceding was a parody written by MRA writer Nathan Nipper.]