Billy Joel and his wife Katie Lee Joel
GLENN: Stu, close the door. Turn on the green room monitor. Green room monitor?
GLENN: So they can't hear in the hallway?
STU: No. No, they cannot.
GLENN: Do you know who's in the building?
STU: I have heard.
GLENN: Is that a representative right there in the green room?
STU: I do not believe -- well, I think that -- I think one of them is and one of them isn't.
GLENN: Stu, you have to go out and ask, big fan. We have a very big fan here. See if you can get her to come in for Dan because he's such a huge fan of somebody who happens to be in the studio directly behind Dan. In fact, Dan, if you'll open up your blinds --
DAN: This is not necessary.
GLENN: Why don't you open up the blinds.
DAN: Well, they have blinds on their side, too.
GLENN: Stu, they might be clove. Why don't you open up those blinds right there. Go ahead, Dan, just open up those blinds. Give it a shot. Oh, no. Nope, their blinds are -- go ahead, open them up. Oh, no, they are. That's too bad, Dan.
GLENN: Because I know you are a big fan. So Stu, why don't you go out and ask if you can get Mrs. Billy Joel to come in.
DAN: Now, look.
GLENN: No, she's right there, Dan.
DAN: I know.
GLENN: She is on the other side of the glass right there.
DAN: Look, normally I wouldn't have a problem with this but you're going to tell her that I'm a big fan of what? What the heck has she done?
STU: No, you don't have to tell her that. You can tell her how you think she's a stupid teenager.
GLENN: Well, just want somebody to talk to. Hey, she's here, we have somebody who is a very big fan of your husband. You are a big fan of her husband, right? There you go.
DAN: Who isn't.
DAN: Why doesn't he just tell her --
GLENN: I tell you what, I'll say I'm a big fan of her husband. I'm a big fan of her husband. His music -- you are, too, right? So we'll just go over and say we've got a big fan and then when she comes in, why don't you tell her that her marriage is doomed.
STU: It's a sham.
GLENN: That her husband is a dirty old man.
GLENN: And what was the other one, Stu?
STU: Well, she can't -- she's too young and stupid to recognize love, I believe.
GLENN: Yeah. Too young and too stupid.
DAN: Exact quotes, yeah. I think I called her stupid.
GLENN: I believe they are.
DAN: I don't think I said that.
STU: She certainly isn't ready.
GLENN: She's not ready to make the decision. She married a dirty old man and all she wanted was money.
DAN: No. Good grief.
STU: I mean, you can tell her any of these things.
DAN: You know what stinks is that I'm not allowed to give my counterargument because we probably, you know, would cease to be on the air in a couple of years.
DAN: Nevermind, nevermind. Look, the bottom line --
GLENN: Oh, I know what he's talking about. Obama's going to become President.
GLENN: You are right, Dan. We probably will be off the air in two years.
DAN: No, look, I never called her -- I just said she was too young to make this sort of a decision.
STU: Right, she can't handle her own life such as her love.
GLENN: How old was she when she got married? 22.
DAN: Something like that.
GLENN: She was too young.
DAN: She met when she was 16.
GLENN: She met him when she was 16? Were they having sex when she was 16?
STU: I don't know if this is accurate at all.
DAN: Look, I stand by -- this is what I stand by. Billy Joel at that age is a dirty old man. I'll not going to say that to her because that would be rude.
GLENN: Sarah, just ask her to come in here, will you? What would be rude? To say to her face as opposed to being on national television?
DAN: I don't need to say it to her face.
GLENN: You haven't let this thing go in five years.
DAN: I have let it go. You guys are the ones that --
GLENN: That's not accurate. Anytime we talk about anybody's age, you are immediately, Billy Joel and his stupid wife. There you go.
STU: I mean, that might not be a direct quote but it's pretty close.
GLENN: It's pretty close. I've heard it, America has heard it.
DAN: Did I mention that Billy Joel's daughter was the made of honor and they were the same age.
STU: Same age? Is this another Dan Andros fact?
DAN: Within three years. That makes it so much better.
GLENN: Let's see if she's smart enough to Mary Billy Joel, she's capable.
DAN: This is more of an attack on Billy Joel, not her. She just is fooled by him.
GLENN: Here, just say this. Look, just say this. You can say it with all the love and respect that she deserves. Here we go. You can say, look, sweetheart, you're just, you were too young to make this, you've been duped, he's a dirty old man and your marriage is doomed. It's a sham.
DAN: This is what I will ask her. I will say, so how did you guys meet? Were you playing Yahtzee, you know, at the senior center?
GLENN: You'll ask her that? Sarah?
DAN: No, I won't ask her that.
GLENN: What will you ask her?
DAN: I won't ask her anything.
GLENN: She's coming in. You know what?
GLENN: You know what? I mean, who was just in the green room just walking -- she's got to walk by the green room. Who just walked by the green room about two weeks ago and I had the balls to walk out there. George Clooney. George Clooney. Guy doesn't agree -- guy doesn't agree with a damn word I say. I walked right up.
DAN: Okay, but we didn't pull up your -- you didn't pull up all of your worst quotes you said about him and said, hey, he aid this. You said, oh, I love Darfur. I mean, oh, your cause is so great, Mr. Clooney.
GLENN: Let me ask you this. I also said we have to stop tearing each other apart.
DAN: Right. That's like me going out there and going, hey, I think open age marriages are great.
GLENN: I have never -- I was not two-faced.
STU: No. No, no.
GLENN: I have never torn him apart.
DAN: But you were very careful.
GLENN: That's fine. We'll be very careful. You can bring her in. I'll personally invite her in.
DAN: This is ridiculous.
GLENN: Mrs. Joel, how great to see you.
STU: And Glenn can moderate. He moderates things all the time, Dan, all the time.
GLENN: And I'll just do this. I'll just say, Mrs. Joel, we just want to tell you that we like you so much and our producer Dan here just has a few questions. And you just say, no disrespect but do you think you were -- do you think you were old enough to make the decision to get married?
DAN: No, I --
GLENN: And then she'll say, what? And then you'll say, I don't mean any disrespect honestly. I mean this because I care about you and it's a societal thing and I've been worried about it on the air for a while.
GLENN: Don't you think your husband is a dirty old man?
STU: Yeah. And you could say -- Dan, you could make it more broad. You could say that -- look.
GLENN: Wait, wait. You'll say that? You'll say that, Dan?
STU: I know you won't. I know you won't.
GLENN: No way.
DAN: I don't think I could.
GLENN: Talk so big.
STU: Maybe you could make it more broad, Dan.
DAN: Oh, guys, listen to this.
STU: We've got 10 seconds.
GLENN: What you don't know, Dan, is we've told the producer in the other studio to monitor this audio right now.