GLENN BECK PROGRAM
GLENN: Don't even start with me. You know what it might be? It might be that I'm still not quite awake from seeing "I Am Legend." You know, some might interpret that as I saw "I Am Legend" and it was so exciting I was worn out at the end of the movie. Others may interpret that as, oh, good heavens, I checked my e-mail about 30% of the way into the movie; a little Dan Fogelberg. Did you guys see that movie at all?
STU: I did not. We were actually on our way to the theater to go see it and then wound up bailing on it. I'm dying to see it, though.
GLENN: Smart move. Smart move. No, it is. It's a very -- I mean, it is like -- it is USDA prime rental.
GLENN: Yeah, yeah.
STU: It looked so good in the previews.
GLENN: I know. No, I went with five guys. I went with five guys. We were on tour. We saw it. I think it was Friday. Friday, Saturday, I don't remember, and we all went together and Adam fell asleep, Joel and Ryan wanted to hang themselves. I checked my e-mail and John Carney looked at me halfway through and went, good God almighty, will it ever end. And we were like, I mean, not kidding, we were only halfway through it.
Will Smith makes hit after hit..
DJ Jazzy Jeff? Not so much.
STU: It was that bad?
GLENN: It was -- no, it was really well done, really well acted, CGI but you get to the point where you're like, I get it; he's alone in New York; I get it; he's only got the dog as a friend, yes, I know.
I mean, when he's in the bathtub, you know, with the dog giving the dog a bath you're like, I mean, honestly it makes suicide an option. It really does. It makes you say, can you inject yourself with the plague that went around and left you as the only guy? It does.
STU: Well, wait a minute. Like Castaway was Tom Hanks on an island with a volleyball. Yeah, it was a volleyball the whole movie. That was good.
GLENN: Wilson would have won an Oscar. I would have said, oh, the movie's saved; Wilson's here! Watch, some good acting coming from the volleyball here in a second. No, no, it was great and it was well done. Just makes Jane Austin want to kill herself. Does.
STU: That boring?
GLENN: Oh, Kate Winslet would say, too boring for me.
STU: Was it that long? Was it a long movie?
GLENN: It felt really long. I don't know how long it was. It felt like -- it felt honestly that I -- I think I saw it on Friday and I got out and I thought, am I late for Monday's show? I mean, it felt that long.
STU: I'm really excited for that movie, too.
GLENN: Yeah. You'll be praying for Dan Fogelberg.
STU: It is a different -- you get into a different mode when you go to see a movie like that. Like with a bunch of guys. You know what I mean? Because you're --
STU: It's like, you know, a guy's night out. You want the action, you want the explosions.
GLENN: I really could have walked out. Really could have walked out. I was that indifferent on it. But it was really good. I mean, as far as done, it was well done. You could tell it was expensive.
STU: Wait. Would this pass the test of a movie -- because you talk in the book about what movies you're supposed -- that's one of the world's biggest problems you have to solve.
GLENN: No, this is -- you know what? This is -- yeah, get the book, "21 Biggest Interesting problems" and I was on with what's her name, Elizabeth Vargas. You know what it is? You see the way she looks at me through you -- no, looks at you through me. No, you know, she's coming onto me but you think it's coming -- yeah.
STU: The one where you're better than me?
GLENN: That one, that one.
STU: That one.
GLENN: That is the one that I'm thinking. But she was on and she said, you know, you're tackling all these big problems and not so big problems like, you know, what movies to see with your wife. Yes! That's a huge problem. This is one I could have taken my wife to see. She would have gone to see a Will Smith movie. She would have said, okay, that's a great one. Will Smith, man, you're letting man down. Men everywhere are saying, Will, I can get my woman to go see a movie with you in it and then just give me some shooting and stuff, lasers.
STU: That's a good point because if you take -- which is essentially the movie capital and invest it in a movie like this where you actually will say, all right, you need to go to this movie and then it's not good or it's boring.
STU: Then you lose all the rest of the movies.
GLENN: All the rest of them. Because this one I can get her to go to and when it sucks she's like, oh, I don't know. Next time he comes out with a Independence Day 1400 or whatever it is and he comes out with something you want to see and then she goes, "I don't know, that last one we saw with Will Smith was so boring; let's go see a Jane Austin movie. Let's go see..." what is that horrible movie, "Making Jane." What? Is it making Jane a noose? Because if it's making Jane a noose, I'm interested.
STU: That's the point. I mean, you're so depressed, you have to go just to get them to go see it. You go, "Don't you remember Hitch? Remember him and Kevin James, they were dancing funny. It's going to be great." And then you drag them to it and they hate it; you're screwed for months and months.
GLENN: Maybe it's just me. Sarah, see if we can get anybody on the phone that saw the -- I mean, it did huge in the box office. See if anybody saw the Will Smith movie.
STU: Yeah, $70, $80 million, something like that.
GLENN: Which broke the records, right?
STU: Yeah, I think --
GLENN: Number one film, sixth in the past six years. He did -- I mean, look at this guy. I Am Legend, The Pursuit of Happyness, Hitch, Shark Tale, iRobot.
STU: IRobot, I swear they run that movie because it has impressive special effects. So it's always like on HBO or Showtime.
GLENN: You know what, even iRobot is better than this one. IRobot had some interesting things and it was okay. I mean, it was no -- don't get me wrong. It was no, what was it, AI?
STU: That's right, yeah.
GLENN: That was good.
STU: I feel like iRobot is the classic Will Smith plug-and-play vehicle. Just put Will Smith in there and a bunch of computer robots and I was going to say a couple of one-liners when he's about to get hit with, you know, a bat.
GLENN: He didn't have any of the one-liners in this.
GLENN: It was not your typical action. I mean, he was really good in it. He cried a couple of times and you believed him.
STU: He was good in The Pursuit of Happyness, too.
GLENN: I don't think I'm giving anything away. He's the only man left on Earth. So he's crying a lot.
GLENN: And you're like, "I'm the only one (crying.) No squirrels will be my friend. And you're like, I wish I was the only one left so nobody would have made this movie (crying). Ughh. But he's great in it. And you don't want -- another reason you don't want to take your wife to it, he's all ripped and crap.
STU: Oh, he looks too good?
GLENN: Oh, my...
STU: Damn that Will Smith.
GLENN: Oh, I hate him.
STU: You just wish -- you want women to believe that's impossible.
GLENN: That's CGI. You just say -- before you go in, you're taking your wife. You just go in and say, "Want you to know, Will Smith is fat and stuff. His body is CGI."
STU: Yeah, you don't want to lie. So what you could say is, I heard on the radio that --
GLENN: Here, here. Yeah, if I have any credibility with your wife, say Glenn Beck --
STU: Just say, I heard it on the radio.
GLENN: Well, no, if I have any credibility, I'm willing to lie for you, okay? But if I have no credibility, you heard it from... Oprah. Let me do it two ways. Stu?
GLENN: I'm reading right here (in my own handwriting) That Will Smith, it's not even like a body double.
STU: What is it?
GLENN: He's like fat and stuff.
STU: Really? That's because it's impossible for a man to look like that.
GLENN: Now, got it? In case you have no credibility. "So Stedman, I've been looking at you for a while and I haven't been marrying you because a guy can't look like that. I always thought they could but I just read they can't. So what do you say maybe we take a step closer to getting married? I'm not getting married to some unknown reason. I'm, you know, valued, with my values people think I have great -- but I don't believe in marriage and I celebrate when people say, hey, I'm just going to get married until it's not cool to be married anymore. Anyway, that's a whole different subject.
STU: Obama '08.
GLENN: "Obama '08." Anyway, I'm pretty sure I heard it from Oprah. Pretty sure I heard it from Oprah.
STU: Could have been Oprah, could have been --
GLENN: Because it will hack you off, man, yeah.