GLENN: So I'm reading Time magazine, a story about Florida governor Charlie Crist.
STU: You hate that guy I heard. What is your deal with him?
GLENN: You read Time magazine?
STU: Yeah, I was reading Time magazine and I didn't realize how much you hated him.
GLENN: I said in Time magazine, just what we need, a soft friendly moderate GOP member, barf.
STU: I mean, barf? You are saying Charlie Crist makes you vomit?
STU: You are just going to throw up because you hate Charlie Crist's moderate status?
GLENN: From Time magazine in partnership with CNN. Quote: Just what we need, a soft friendly moderate GOP member... barf, end quote.
STU: Where did that come from? When did you say that? When did you call them up and say that?
GLENN: Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck tweeting on Crist's announcement for governor.
STU: I didn't know you had a Twitter page, Glenn.
GLENN: I don't have a Twitter page.
STU: On May 12th?
GLENN: On May 12th I didn't. Do you know I think there are six and we had to send our attorneys after these people. There are five or six people including somebody who called themselves the real Glenn Beck that had accounts apparently in the tens of thousands of people that were claiming to be me. And nobody checks the sources. Where is Barbara Walters to police these people? Doesn't anybody? Time magazine and CNN, aren't you investigative reporters? Aren't you supposed to ‑‑ do you not check any of your facts?
STU: That's a very ‑‑ especially because obviously, CNN has like your phone ‑‑ we used to work there.
GLENN: I know. They have my phone number. They know how to get a hold of me.
STU: But again, whatever, these things happen and obviously I'm sure they will correct it at some point. But the idea that I think actually makes me kind of laugh about these guys, because apparently the person who did this was Twittering or tweeting things ‑‑
GLENN: I hate this.
STU: I know, I hate that language.
GLENN: I am going into this, into this world kicking and screaming. I hate the Twitter thing. I hate it.
STU: As you wrote in Time, Rush doesn't have to do these things.
STU: We do.
STU: But they were tweeting things that you could potentially say.
STU: Like so it kind of sounded like it could be legitimate but they may occasionally throw in something ‑‑
GLENN: So what's my Twitter account?
STU: Your Twitter account?
GLENN: Yeah. What am I ‑‑ what is ‑‑
STU: You are saying the legitimate one?
GLENN: The legitimate one. Because I want you to know if you're using my name, you will be receiving ‑‑ and they're nasty, nasty New York attorneys that have just gotten out of audits. I mean, they're pissed. I would run and hide.
STU: All you have to do is go to Twitter.com/GlennBeck.
STU: And then you can follow. And you will notice that out of the people who you are following would be me.
GLENN: I'm following you?
GLENN: I'm not following you.
STU: Yes, you are.
GLENN: No, I'm not.
STU: Because you listen to ‑‑
GLENN: I'm doing this reluctantly. I'm doing this reluctantly. Here's how this is working, at least as of today this is how it's working. Joe, who's with me all the time because Adam out and out refused. Adam's like, I am not tweeting.
STU: (Laughing). Oh, we should have made him do it. That would have been ‑‑ "Hey, Adam, would you tweet this for me? Would you put down your M16 for a moment and tweet on your tweeter?
GLENN: He almost put a 45 barrel to my head. So Joe, who is with me all the time, he is required to say, "Do you want to tweet?" Now, there are times that I'm going to think that it's ‑‑ he's like Barbara Walters and he's just saying, "Want a little tweet? Here, have a little tweet." And it makes me think of cupcakes.
STU: (Laughing). Way to work that in. That was nice.
GLENN: Thank you very much. I thought that was very natural. Nobody noticed. Oh, someone noticed ‑‑ well, someone's assistants noticed because the hearing aids are too low. Anyway, so here we go. So I'm tweeting under my name, Glenn Beck.
GLENN: That's with two Ns. Did we get the tweeter or twit address for one N Glenn or are we going to have ‑‑ does this belong to some guy in Indonesia, too?
STU: This is exactly how a serious media personality works. They just, they are just on the air talking about what they're tweeting today and there's nothing ridiculous, nothing ridiculous about our society.
GLENN: No, nothing.
STU: Nothing ridiculous.
GLENN: Barack Obama is like the fifth largest tweeter? What is it? What is it called? Twit? What is the person called that is tweeting?
STU: Tweeter? It is tweeter. So he's the fifth largest tweeter.
GLENN: This is so damn stupid.
STU: As Dan pointed out a little earlier, what are his tweets? "Hey, I took over another company, boo ya! I don't know what he would be tweeting.
DAN: Another flip flop, oh, yeah!
GLENN: Great cars coming your way, LOL!
STU: (Laughing). Yeah, but he's number five.
GLENN: The president of the United States! This is not beneath the president of the United States? Yes, it is.
STU: Now, this is ‑‑
GLENN: Can you imagine George Washington on his horse? "General, would you like me to tweet, sir?" (Making gunfire noises).
STU: You should have seen this amendment just posted, LOL, LOL. So ridiculous.
GLENN: Is that a smiley face? No, it's a wink.
GLENN: What a stupid ‑‑
STU: So Barack Obama's number five on the biggest.
GLENN: Give me the top five.
The Jim Dingle twitter controversy
Listeners who have followed the show for years may remember Jim Dingle -- he talks issues. Well there are two Jim Dingles on twitter...
STU: ‑‑ tweeter list.
GLENN: Give me the top ten.
STU: I think this tells a lot about our society. Okay, number 10 is Jimmy Fallon, big celebrity. Number 9 is Shaq. Number 8, Ryan Seacrest.
GLENN: What are they saying?
STU: I know like, for example, because my wife is a tweeter tweeter, Twitter tweeter, and she has John Mayer on hers who she loves more than she loves me, and ‑‑
STU: I do, too. He's very hot.
GLENN: No, not him. Just anybody but you.
STU: Oh, anyone but me, okay. But still, he's very funny. Like his comments are funny. So he has a lot of people follow him just because he puts out like 30 of these things a day.
GLENN: I just want you to know, mine for a while are going to be angry because Joe will say to me, "Want to tweet?" No, Joe, I really don't.
STU: Number 6 is Twitter.
GLENN: Wait. Twitter has ‑‑ what do they say?
STU: Twitter has a Twitter account.
GLENN: Hey, sign up now.
STU: Hey, you should sign up for Twitter. If you are following me, you know that because you've signed up for Twitter. Number 5, Barack Obama. But look who's ahead of Barack Obama. Number 4, Britney Spears.
GLENN: What is she tweeting about?
STU: I don't know. You should see what underwear I didn't put on today.
GLENN: Oops, I did it again. My kid just suffocated in the car.
STU: And then you have celebrities at the top. Ashton Kutcher is number 1. I'm leaving out number 3 for a reason. Number 2 is Ellen DeGeneres is very interesting.
GLENN: Wait, let's see who we have around it. We have Britney Spears at number 4?
STU: Number 4.
GLENN: Number 4. We have Ashton Kutcher. Number two is...
GLENN: Ellen. So it's got to be just a dopey celebrity.
DAN: Barney Frank.
STU: Nope. Barney's not on here. Number 3, CNN breaking news. Which I find interesting because they are the third biggest Twitterer and they couldn't figure out that your Twitter wasn't your Twitter. They quoted a non‑Twitterer from the tweet from the non‑Twitterer! Doesn't make any sense! Tweet what you tweet!
GLENN: Sign up now at Twitter.com/GlennBeck. It begins this long national nightmare today.