GLENN: So anyway, last night I watched American Idol and I watched it through my fingers. Is anybody watching American Idol this season?
STU: I didn't watch it last night but I saw several before that.
GLENN: I had forgotten how much of it is, it's a true car wreck, it really is. You watch through your fingers. I really do watch American Idol, the first part, through my fingers. I'm like, no, no, no, ow, ow, ow. You feel so bad for them.
STU: It is brutal. I would say that they actually have, they may have taken a little bit of the heat from last year. Remember last year they were saying they were too mean. This year they seem to be ending them all in an up note.
GLENN: That's because it's Paula. "I want to vote for you, I really, I wish I could." No, you don't.
STU: My favorite thing that they say to them like it's okay is, "Not for this competition." Like, "There's another singing competition you might just get through."
GLENN: You know the one with the bar on Friday night, not the good bar in your neighborhood but the bar that, just like the really bad people go to? That bar probably will have a competition and that one you could probably win.
STU: Well, not win.
GLENN: But you're right for that competition.
STU: They don't say that you'd win but they say -- you know.
GLENN: And then I watched one of the worst television shows of all time.
STU: This guy, let me guess.
STU: Absolutely 100% has to be the Lie Detector Show.
GLENN: The Lie Detector Show, one of the worst shows of all time for, I don't know how -- for many reasons, for many reasons, one of which -- and I brought in some audio -- one of which is how long you have to wait for the answers and then whether or not that's going to be an accurate answer or not. And I'm not kidding you. It was almost -- Dan, you have the audio of this? Go ahead. Play it. It's almost like, have you ever eaten cookie when you weren't supposed to? Hmmm? (Mumbling.) Yes!
STU: You have to explain, too, Glenn, that they took the Lie Detector Test off screen earlier.
GLENN: So they've already been asked this question.
STU: Yeah, they knew the questions, they knew out of a certain range which ones they would be asked. So they already know the answers. They know how they answered them previously. It's just that typical reality shows, sort of like they have to look around and act like they are thinking about it even though they know.
GLENN: I don't know. I don't know.
STU: This is not edited.
GLENN: This is ridiculous. Listen to this.
Voice: Did you ever get a passing grade just because you were on the football team?
GLENN: Oh! He's still thinking!
VOICE: Actually no.
GLENN: Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.
STU: What's the answer?
GLENN: Wait for it! Wait for it! Still waiting!
GLENN: Oh, thank goodness. Now --
STU: I love -- you've got to love the contrite, "Whoa!" Every question. They are not even dramatic questions, half of them.
GLENN: No. Half of them are, did you ever, did you ever lick an envelope and then kiss somebody afterwards with that icky envelope taste in your mouth? Whoa! "I don't know if I can admit that on national television." And then they get on these questions that there's no way you can win. You might win money but you may lose your job. You may lose your family. This is the most despicable show on television and that's saying something.
But before we leave the time thing, I just have to play -- I took 40 minutes of this show and I edited all of the pauses out and all of the, you know, "So you're a football player, let's get back to the game." Took all of that stuff out. 40 minutes. How long do you think 40 minutes, when it just plays the game, how long do you think 40 minutes edits down to? Even I was surprised. I will play the 40 minute, excuse me, the edited 40 minutes after this commercial and I'll give you a hint. I only have two minutes after this commercial.