For those of you who watch the 4th hour everyday, you might be familiar with the Fatty Five Challenge. It's a highly aspirational concept in which five overweight gentlemen (I use the term "gentlemen" loosely) attempt to become five slightly less overweight gentlemen.
The goal? To lose eight percent of our body weight by July 1st, 2011.
The method? Any. The Fatty Five features various approaches, from no meat, to low carb, to personal chef delivery services. I don't care if you cut out a kidney on June 30th-- just hit your goal.
Why? Because human beings respond to incentives. That's why the Fatty Five Challenge has instituted a reward program of sorts. All Fatty Five Challenge participants put a fairly large amount of money at risk, and we only get it back if we achieve our goals. If those goals are hit, we will spend the cash on a Fatty Five trip, to be determined, in which we will likely gain back most of the weight.
A capitalist system not only involves incentives however, it also involves consequences. So, if your goal is not met, your cash goes to all of the other members, to be spent by them on the trip that you're not going on.
No goal, no cash, no trip.
It's a high stakes game, but so is heart disease. Not to mention the general looks of disgust from various spouses and girlfriends.
I encourage you to try the Fatty Five Challenge along with us. Keep your weekly weigh-in results privately, or enter them in the comments below. Yes, I offer to you-- the service of embarrassment and fear of failure given by this very public blog.
WEEK ONE RESULTS
Ahhhh...the exciting results of a week one, where it seems like everything is going to be so easy. Everything gets tougher from here...including the devastating April tour we're going on for 10 days. But, for now, I'm as naively optimistic as a Kansas City Royals fan after an opening day victory.
Kevin “Hunger is Weakness” Balfe -2.33%
I got off to a fast start but, like Rudy Giuliani, I couldn’t hold the lead. I’m using a meal delivery service but am on my own for weekends, which is causing some issues (and by “issues” I mean “massive weight gain”). On a positive note, I’ve learned something about myself: I have zero will power. None. I thought about committing a misdemeanor to try and get on a free prison diet for a year but I think I’d just end up bartering with my cellmate for extra pudding.
Keith “Eating Like a Field Mouse” Ferry -3.07%
I got off to such a fast start that I am now being accused of sandbagging my starting weight, which is true if you consider having the following meals the weekend before weigh ins sandbagging: (a) Taco Bell for brunch Saturday, (b) a huge Italian dinner Saturday night, (c) two Big n’ Toasty sandwiches at Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast Sunday (second one was more to remind myself how good the first one was…didn’t want to forget), (d) almost an entire pizza for lunch Sunday and (e) enough chili on Sunday night to feed a pack of starving wolves (for the record, a pack of just somewhat hungry wolves couldn’t have finished my portion). Unfortunately, that wasn’t really bulking up for me…more par for the course (if par was set somewhere between “disgusting amounts of food” and “hard to even imagine one man can consume that much”). Now I’m eating just enough to feed a small field mouse and I’m starving all the time. So if you see me on the streets, stay away…I’m not fun to be around right now.