Here are our week 8 results:
Stu 'who needs exercise?' Burguiere
Week 8 -0.49%
Let's be frank-- exercise is brutally dangerous. Millions every year are injured participating in this devastating activity. Some are even killed by heart attack or passing Toyota Corolla while running. Pulled muscles, broken bones, diphtheria----almost all negative health outcomes come directly from exercise. (It's possible I'm just trying to create a narrative that hides the fact that I'm lazy, but I doubt it.) Anyway, with very little exercise, I chug along on the fatty five for another week. At this pace, I will hit my goal, assuming no slip-ups....and of course, none of that societal plague called exercise.
Keith “I’m Coming for You Fat” Ferry
Week 8: -0.77%
We are now more than halfway through and I’m actually not sure how to approach this diet thing. There are weeks when I feel like I’m starving myself and I lose nothing. Then there are weeks when I literally forget I’m on a diet and I lose 2 pounds…by accident. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, who to blame, how to get my hands on tapeworm (or if that’s even allowed now that Kevin has chosen the most tried and true approach to losing weight), but I just realized one thing: I haven’t done anything that resembles a diet and definitely haven’t even attempted to exercise, and I’m 7 pounds from my goal weight with about 6 weeks left. Nothing witty to say to wrap this up…just that the last 7 pounds better hope they have a safer place to hide than Abbottabad.
Kevin “Tapeworm Ted” Balfe
Week 8: -1.86%
One week into my tapeworm diet and I’d say the early results are positive. The only issue I see is that I’m not completely sure how to get this thing out when I’m done with it. My wife tells me that if you hold a glass of milk in front of your mouth he’ll come out for a drink, so that’s the current plan unless someone has a better idea.