The following is part of an ongoing experiment by Glenn Beck Program heartthrob, Stu Burguiere, to begin watching Game of Thrones in its final season, without any previous context. Other than highlights shown in commercials, Stu has never seen a second of Game of Thrones, and has never read a word about its characters or plot lines.
Before embarking on this project, Stu's summary of the series was:
- There is a battle over who controls the throne(s)?
- Lots of people watch it
- There is a lot of violence and/or nudity involved
- There are dragons that fly around
Spoiler alert: you are about to read information about Game of Thrones that would definitely be considered spoilers, if it was possible to decode what Stu was talking about.
Season 8 | Episode 1
- Theme animation very long.
- Theme is still going.
Some possibly important cast members:
Blondie wearing white (henceforth referred to as Blondie)
Guy with goatee (Goatee guy)
Uglier black haired woman
Guy with beard: Literally, any one of thousands on the show. (Come one Stu, we need specifics!)
Ugly peasant girl might be the same as uglier black haired woman (Yes Stu, yes it was)
Red haired woman (Redhead)
Boyband looking teen (boyband teen)
Queen that looks like child of Mick Jagger and Robin Wright
Curly hair guy
Ugly ship woman
So far, no spoilers and very little info. There may or may not be spoilers, if you can understand any of it that is.
- Boyband teen appears to be son of Goatee
- Winterfell is a place
- Goatee guy was maybe a king of Winterfell, but isn't anymore
- "The North" is maybe the same as Winterfell
- Angry Elf, Goatee guy, Blondie, and Redhead now on same team? This seems new?
- Blondie seems to be like Siegfried and Roy for dragons
- Angry Elf married to Redhead?
- People seem to be more attractive than I would expect from their difficult circumstances
- Goatee guy and Ugly peasant girl like the same sword
- "The dead have broken through the wall" —seems important.
- "If you want a whore, buy one. If you want a queen, earn one." Heard that one before.
- Guy interrupted while having sex with three women. He only seems moderately bothered by this.
- Old guy gives sex recipient a crossbow
- Lots of people killed by curly hair guy while rescuing ugly ship woman
- Ugly ship woman head butts curly hair guy for some reason
- Teeth: better than expected
- "What is dead may never die…but kill the bastards anyway." They seem to be fighting zombies
- Goatee guy and RedHead are brother and sister I think
- Goatee guy and Blondie ride dragons
- Blondie is not helpful with dragon riding tips
- Blondie is a Queen maybe?
- DOZED OFF MISSED A FEW MINUTES AT LEAST
- Woke up to screaming as woman is burned alive
- Some guy and Boyband teen look at each other at the end as if it's important
Watch the clip below and see how things unfolded on radio Tuesday.