Glenn took some time this morning to congratulate South Carolina on making such a great choice in Saturday’s primary and voting for progressive candidate Newt Gingrich! It’s becoming clear that Gingrich despite his many flaws (progressivism, shady character, high unpopularity on a national level) that people will continue to support Ol’ Newt. Therefore, Glenn can finally reveal his masterplan – he’s secretly been back Newt all along. And today, he finally endorsed a candidate for the first time ever – Newt Gingrich!*
“We have known for quite some time that whatever we say politically, you’ll do the opposite,” Glenn said
“We were against Barack Obama the last election and he won. We came out and said you know we really think that Michele Bachmann is the one, like ten minutes later people were forcing her to drop out of the race,” Glenn explained.
“We said Rick Santorum is the guy. Nope,” he said.
“We’ve been saying definitely not Newt Gingrich, and look at him soar,” Glenn said.
“We are thrilled today,” Stu explained.
Glenn was able to finally admit what many may have suspected for a long time – he has secretly been supporting Newt Gingrich all these months.
“Now we’re coming clean,” Glenn said. “We not only recommend, we wholeheartedly endorse Newt Gingrich.”
Glenn said that the upcoming Gingrich vs. Obama election has all the makings of Reagan vs. Mondale, and that Newt will make Obama as worried as Mondale made Reagan.
“Reagan was sweating to the tune of losing one state,” Pat explained.
“ Some might say that Newt Gingrich wouldn’t even win his home state of Georgia. Not me,” Glenn said.
“When you see somebody who has a low favorability rating, that’s good. When you see somebody who is kind of shady in their personal life, remember that’s good. When you hear us endorse Newt Gingrich, remember… that’s good,” Glenn explained.
“South Carolina, good choice.”
And how worried is Obama? Just check out the picture below:
*Please note the hefty amount of sarcasm that fills this article – Glenn does not endorse Newt Gingrich nor would he support such a progressive candidate when you have options like Rick Santorum still in the race.