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Dear Glenn,

We’ve known each other for a long time, and in that time you’ve made a lot of changes. You moved from New York to Dallas. You jumped from cable news to your own GBTV. Your company has grown from a scrappy start-up to a burgeoning media empire. You’ve written more books than can be counted and done hours ( and hours and hours and hours and hours) of broadcasts on radio, TV, and on stage. I think at this point I can call you a friend. And as a friend, we need to talk. You have a problem. A fashion problem.

Is it the jeans and the untucked Oxfords? No, that’s rebellious, perfect for someone who left the mainstream media. Is it the the occasional Mr. Rogers sweater? Not at all. And it’s certainly not the suits, although we don’t see those quite as often as we used to…

Remember the good times? The merit badge purple sweaters?

Or the smart meets casual button down,sports coat, and jeans?

How about the “Death to Tyranny” cardigans?

Look how happy you were. It’s almost like it was yesterday…

So no, it’s none of the above. It’s not even the shirt, tie, vest, wool jacket that you’re wearing right now on GBTV…although that’s a lot of layers and might explain why you get uncomfortably hot during the show.

It’s the bow ties:

Other days, it’s the vest:

But most of all, it’s the suspenders:

Seriously, Glenn, what is with the suspenders?

Does this have anything to do with the fact that you’ve got LJ running the merchandise/fashion department? I mean, he looks even worse. He even wears a weird costume to work some days:

He’s wearing tights! Tights! What grown man would allow himself to be photographed in such a state?

Now, you say it’s inspired by the Depression Era. We say it’s just getting to be depressing….

Sincerely (Please don’t fire me), Editor

P.S. Seriously Glenn, this is a joke. Please do not fire me!