In an effort to allegedly be more ‘green’ Nestle has produced a water bottle with a smaller cap. Sure the smaller cap now poses a risk to children and is part of a product that every single American can get for free out of their tap, puts it in millions of plastic bottles, ships them all around the country in planes and trucks — but hey, they’re helping the earth!

“Did we buy these water bottles?” Glenn asked on radio this morning. “I want to talk to the person responsible. Nestle. Nestle makes the very best… what? Water that spills all over your hand?”

“Excuse me, I have to back away from the microphone because I’m going to open the water and so I have to hold it way out in front of me, make sure it doesn’t spill on anything… except my hands and the cuff of my shirt,” he said on radio.

What’s wrong with the bottle? Apparently the bottles are labeled “green”, which just means they use less plastic to make the bottles. The result is that it’s too thin to hold and usually water gets spilled everywhere when Glenn tries to open it.

And even worse, the water just comes from Dallas, TX so there is nothing special about it, especially when compared to bottled water companies like Fiji.

“Can I tell you something? From Fiji that’s a good deal. They have scooped water out and put it into a quality piece of plastic,” Glenn said. “Got it through customs. It’s an imported product, you know. Put it on trucks, ate up all that gas, put it in the ‑‑ and that’s what it cost you, $2 to get that?”

After about a ten minute diatribe on the Nestle Bottled Water, Glenn demanded that his company stop purchasing their bottled water from the company. He specifically told the VP of Finance to put an end to it.

“You call Dan Figenshu right now,” Glenn said. “I don’t know who buys our stuff. I don’t even really know what Dan does. But I want a ban on this water.”