The United States vs. Santa Claus: The B.S. of A.’s Brian and Jack take on the war on Christmas

What happens when big government meddles in Christmas? Find out in The United States vs. Santa Claus: The Untold Story of the Actual War on Christmas, the hilarious new book from The B.S. of A.’s Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth that will have you wondering what’s fact and what’s fiction. From IRS audits and unionized elves to gigantic reports on the environmental impact of stocking coal and reindeer farts, the government pulls no punches in its effort to bring Santa to his knees. Can a bumbling bureaucracy manage to sour even the jolliest of souls and ruin an entire holiday in the process? Spoiler alert: Totally.

Brain and Jack joined Glenn on radio this morning to talk about the premise behind the book that – believe it or not – actually came from Glenn. As Brian and Jack describe it, The United States vs. Santa Claus is “a crazy idea from Glenn Beck made funny and coherent by writers.”

“As small business owner, about two years ago, I was thinking, you know, these guys would regulate Santa out of business and do it for a myriad of reasons because he’s using elves – and how dare he use elves that are not union labor and have them working all the time. And abuse of animals. And putting coal in stockings, you know, what damage is it doing to the environment. And I outlined this to Brian and Jack Helmuth, and it’s really funny,” Glenn explained. “ I told them they should do a libertarian book, one that you just pick up and laugh… But also one you could give to your friends and they could laugh. And as they are laughing, you could say, ‘Why are you laughing.’ ‘Well, this is so funny.’ Yeah, it’s kind of true. Gone to the extreme here with Santa, but it’s kind of true, isn’t it?”

Glenn has always been vocal about the importance of conservatives taking back our culture. While the left has Jon Stewart and just about every college professor in America, the right has, as Glenn describes it, “geeks or people that look angry all the time.” The goal of Mercury and TheBlaze has always been to deliver the truth, but it is important to present the truth in ways that will reach as many people as possible. Enter Brian and Jack. They turn the news-of-the-day on its head with their weekly sketch comedy show The B.S. of A. and their new book has a similar goal – deliver the facts in a funny, easy to comprehend way.

“It was fun to write, you know, to get out your frustration and aggression on what’s happening in the country through jokes. I mean it’s just a different way. And I think that conservatives and libertarians do issues really, really well. They do that sort of book well. But where’s the humorous book in the Pantheon of these books,” Jack asked. “Glenn, you write like a thousand books a year. And they are fun, funny because you are funny. You know, the kids who write your books are funny! And this is a humorous book for an underserved market… Where’s the laughter that is suitable that doesn’t offend values? It’s important to us and to our show, important in this book.”

“What I really like about this is it easily could have been done by Jon Stewart. The same thing easily could have been said by Jon Stewart, but they won’t do it because it makes the case of a big out of control government. So, they won’t,” Glenn said. “Not only, this is reason number one to buy it: It’s just funny – lots and lots of laughs on every single page. Doesn’t get bogged down in preaching or anything else. It’s just laugh page after page. It’s very funny. Number two reason: If you are trying to convince somebody that, ‘Hey, your world is starting to be insane.’ This is the back door to get them into it, to have the conversation.”

Order your copy of The United States vs. Santa Claus: The Untold Story of the Actual War on Christmas HERE. And watch the entire interview with Brian and Jack below:

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  • Anonymous

    Brian Ballsack is Glenn’s favorite sack. Sounds like Glenn really like’s the taste of Jack’s cock as well

  • Anonymous

    These guys are goddamn awful … so unfunny

  • Anonymous

    Stu “Cum-eye” Burgiere LOVED the book

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Three comments and I am starting to wonder if Darwin was right because I think this guy is the missing link.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Really that is liberalism in a nut shell demonize everything that disagrees with you and shut down all debate. Like HP lovingcraft will do above and below this comment any minute now.

  • Anonymous

    Sammy what would you know about Darwin? I’m surprised you even heard of him? What do you know about him?

  • Anonymous

    Sammy you’re so cute. Your idea of a debate is listening to glenn beck, right?

  • Average Joe.

    Hey Richie, how much does a vacuum cleaner salesman make and how much does your subsidized healthcare cost? Be specific.

  • Average Joe.
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Everyone does the father of evolution.

  • HP McLovincraft

    Poor baby.

  • HP McLovincraft

    I’m going to listen to Metallica’s ‘Welcome Home (Sanitorium)…LOL. No I won’t. They don’t have a song about tuberculosis!

  • HP McLovincraft

    Jesus hates it when his followers insult people. Especially when it is him.

  • HP McLovincraft

    Everyone fucks Charles Darwin?

    Learn English, Sam.

  • HP McLovincraft

    In your imaginary plane on the way to the sanitorium?

    Are you going to work on your imaginary websites, too?

  • HP McLovincraft

    piTea Party Humor is Always Nearly Funny Almost.

  • HP McLovincraft

    Glenn is a Gloryhole Superstar. He can literally swallow quarts of cum in one gulp.

  • Anonymous

    Sammy you said “everyone does the father of evolution” Is that a mistake, or, are you speaking in code? I thought you were a creationist?

  • HP McLovincraft
  • HP McLovincraft

    He’s speaking in retard.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Stating fact does not change what I believe moron besides he would of thrown evolution out the window by now.

  • Anonymous

    Sammy, are you saying that once you mind is made up, facts don’t matter anymore? Are you saying, you don’t accept evolution? Are you a creationist?

  • doctorivy

    Odumbo is the only Santa Claus you need.

  • Average Joe.

    Richie, are you saying that you have no proof of anything or that you just are ignorant.

    How much does a vacuum cleaner salesman make and how much does your Obamacare cost, with the government subsidy and all? Why don’t you stop leaching off of us taxpayers for once?

  • Average Joe.

    Why do you care? Answer the questions Richie!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    I am also saying Darwin would not accept evolution himself. In fact he had deep problems with his own theory.
    “To suppose that the eye with all its inimitable contrivances for adjusting the focus to different distances, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of Spherical and chromatic aberration, could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree. When it was first said that the sun stood still and the world turned round, the common sense of mankind declared the doctrine false; but the old saying of Vox populi, vox Dei ["the voice of the people = the voice of God "], as every philosopher knows, cannot be trusted in science. Reason tells me, that if numerous gradations from a simple and imperfect eye to one complex and perfect can be shown to exist, each grade being useful to its possessor, as is certain the case; if further, the eye ever varies and the variations be inherited, as is likewise certainly the case; and if such variations should be useful to any animal under changing conditions of life, then the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, should not be considered as subversive of the theory.” Darwin

  • Anonymous

    Sammy you just blew me away, you always make my day. Thank you. So you are a creationist or not? Yes or no.

  • Average Joe.

    How much does a vacuum cleaner salesman make and how much does your Obamacare cost, with the government subsidy and all? Why don’t you stop leaching off of us taxpayers for once?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Yes.

  • Average Joe.

    ” Darwin still believed that God was the ultimate lawgiver, and later recollected that at the time he was convinced of the existence of God as a First Cause and deserved to be called a theist.

    Though reticent about his religious views, in 1879 he responded that he had never been an atheist in the sense of denying the existence of a god, and that generally “an Agnostic would be the more correct description of my state of mind.” wiki

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Agreed.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Piped down adults talking.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDFGELoC4zc Sam Fisher

    Piped down adults talking. Now do your homework because you got a big day in Preschool tomorrow who knows they may graduate you for being the first person in the history of man to fail preschool 500 times.

  • Average Joe.

    He’s due to make another visit to the booby hatch for another stay. He came pretty close to a meltdown last night. He was posting links and then denying what those links said. He’a a very confused 12 year old.

  • JohnDale49

    Have you heard of salad? LMFAO

  • JohnDale49

    You actually DO talk about Glenn’s balls all the time. hahahahahaha

  • JohnDale49

    You need to pipes down, moron!

  • JohnDale49

    What a turd-burglar! You don’t hold a candle to this website, boober!

  • Anonymous

    Boohoo…. I’m a teatard. I want to live like a Pilgrim. I want to shoot my guns, bang my sister and have slaves and pay to a false Idol. Enjoy your misguided faith and believing of a Grand Wizard in the sky. Lol. Hillary Clinton 2016. Liberal for life!!

  • HP McLovincraft

    Really? Because it seems like I run this bitch. Flag my comments, cunt.

  • HP McLovincraft

    Did you mean the sanitarium, the sanitorium, or the sani-tard-ium where you and Sam Fishycunt are bunk (and butthole) buddies?

  • HP McLovincraft

    I never called Jesus impotent.

  • HP McLovincraft

    We all agreed that you ride the short bus.

  • HP McLovincraft

    No. Jesus is not down with you. You done and went and pissed him off. He don’t forgive like he sez he duz.

    (I roted it all stoopid sos u kin unnerstans it)

  • HP McLovincraft

    I thought you dumbfucks were afeared of wikipedia? Also, you should do better when citing a reference. Credibility, pass it on.

  • HP McLovincraft

    I am also saying that Sam is retarded and his God is going to fucking punish the shit out of him.

  • HP McLovincraft

    Pipes down?

    LOL

    Learn English you dumb motherfucker.

  • HP McLovincraft

    piped down?
    LOL
    Is that like ‘Jesus is impotent’?

  • Manuel Ferreira

    Wow, Sack and the other sack are PAINFULLY unfunny. WHO laughs at this stupid shyte?

  • Mad Dog

    How’s that Obamacare working out for you, Sparky?