Epic Beck monologue: “Man up!”

Oh, how far we’ve come since the days of America’s earliest pioneers-in the wrong direction. Last night on TV Glenn lamented the state of resolve and determination in America today and ripped our overall lack of toughness. Below is the stunning THEN vs. NOW comparison from Glenn’s monologue which makes clear the pioneers are probably rolling over in their graves.

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Hello, America, and welcome to The Glenn Beck Program and to TheBlaze. This is the network that you are building. And it is time to man up. No, really, seriously. I mean, the sensitivity binge was super fun while it lasted. It was, but enough is enough. If America’s success makes other countries feel bad, sucks to be them. If you’re worried about income inequality, or if you’re offended by a Nativity scene or scared of a Pop Tart gun, I don’t care, not at all. Man up. Time to man up.

This is a nation whose heritage goes back to people who climbed into a boat. They didn’t want to. They went sailing off into the vast sea having no idea where they’d end up, even if they would get there. Half of them died, and the half that lived, you know, to make the trip, they were afraid they were going to be eaten by the Indians. Man up.

This is the country that fought the British, broken, hungry, barefoot, in the dead of winter. Martha Washington came to like make people shirts because they didn’t have pants and shirts, and yet, somehow or another we won. We are the country that tamed the West. Pioneers packed up their families, their belongings into wagons, rode off into the great West, into the unknown. Weird, they took all of their crap, put it in a box, tied it to a horse, and crossed the mountains, no roads, no GPS, no weather forecast from the weather Channel, no grocery stores. No, not even a rest stop.

But there were areas where we could stop and take pictures, right? No, nothing, nothing, just grit, determination. That’s what they had. Everything else, they were crapping in the woods and wiping themselves with leaves. Imagine that. Now, imagine what those people would say about us today and our toughness and our resolve. The people who survived the Dust Bowl, you know them, they starved because their farms were buried in dirt. Apparently too much dirt is a bad thing. What would they say about us?

Today, I actually received in the middle of the radio show an e-mail from the Snow and Ice Management Association – who knew that even existed – giving me the top ten tips for walking in the snow. They thought that I should bring you that news. I’m not going to, because if you’re not smart enough to figure out how to walk in the snow – one of their tips was look down. Another one of their tips, I’m not making it up, was look up.

If you’re not smart enough to figure that out by yourself, I want you to freeze to death in the snow. I just, I do. Now, if there’s something psychologically wrong with you, I want to help you so we get you inside, but if you’re perfectly normal, just dumb enough to go outside without shoes or socks or a coat, and you have no idea how to walk in snow, and you’re 30 years old, I hope you freeze to death. And I say that with all the best part of my Christian heart that is currently working today.

We are a country that is snowed in for two days, and panic begins to settle in. And the guys on television snow crisis, 2013, we’ll all remember where we were when we couldn’t make it to Starbucks by the end of the day. I just can’t survive another minute without my café grande crappuccino. Who set sail on the ocean blue? Well, not me. That sounds scary, but it does sound like a nice color blue. Could we get some accessories with it? No.

This is how wimpy we have become: There was a woman who tried to get onto a plane with a stuffed sock monkey. The monkey had a two-inch gun. TSA stopped her because that shouldn’t be allowed on a plane. Now, may I just say to you, if your sock monkey happens to be this big, and the gun looks like this, maybe we have the TSA take the gun from you, but if your sock monkey looks like that sock monkey, you’re a freak, and it’s time to man up.

May I just say…what, you don’t have a sock monkey under your desk? I don’t want to scare anybody. I don’t want to scare anybody. I made this myself. I was talking about making these for Christmas and selling them online, but everybody in the office says the people will be too scared. It’s an underwear cat. I made this today. It’s just made out of underwear, okay?

It’s like a sock monkey, except this one has a lasso or a noose. I don’t know if you could travel with this on the plane or not, because it’s an underwear cat, and we’ve already learned people should be very afraid of a sock monkey. They’ve never seen my noose-carrying underwear cat.

We are a nation terrified of sock monkeys with a gun. Oh, and something else, Jesus. Apparently I have to report to you today that Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year. It is apparently now the scariest time of the year. Disney now is eliminating Jesus from Christmas. Isn’t the first part of the word Christmas his title? Pretty sure.

They didn’t want to mention Christ in a Christmas show because it might offend somebody. Well actually, that’s the non-bull crap answer. Their bull crap answer is they’re just trying to cut it out for time. I saw this show. I saw this show last year. The narration, this is how politically correct it was, the narration was read by Marlee Matlin, except she didn’t say it, she signed it.

You could cut a lot of things out of a Christmas show, but I don’t think that you would cut out the Christ part of that, because that’s the whole story. And so they wanted to cut I think it was like 200 words out of it, and it was just all the stuff about, you know, he came, he was born, he conquered, and he rose again. Okay, alright, that’s good stuff. That’s good stuff, and they did it because they had to cut out what, two minutes? Really? Because I’ve stood in their really long obnoxious lines, you know? I don’t think they care about two minutes.

Wimpy factor number 432, two little girls just got booted from a grocery store in Vancouver, Washington, because, think of this, they wanted to sing Christmas carols and give a warm “fuzzy feeling to anyone who walked by.” Are you kidding me, higgledy-piggledy singing songs about Christmas? They were told, thank goodness, by store officials they might offend someone.

But thank goodness we at least have the brave men and women running our military. Oh sorry, they just caved too. They shut down a Nativity scene at Shaw Air Force Base in Sumter, South Carolina, because a group of atheists allegedly complained about it. They had a call. We have a call, somebody’s offended by the sleigh. Oh, sucks to be them.

Could I just ask the people at the Air Force, I mean, you’re this scared over a Nativity scene? Can I tell you something? You are going to be freaking out when you’re like in the plane upside down. Have you watched Top Gun? Because that looks scary.

Maybe a few people in our country need to talk to Deborah Sampson for a little inspiration. She is a woman who disguised herself as a man in order to fight with the Continental Army and George Washington. After getting wounded in the battle, she went home, of course, and cried – boo hoo, I hurt so bad. No, she didn’t. She operated on herself, and she removed one of the several musket balls out of her thigh with a pen knife. And then she sewed herself up with a sewing needle.

And then she went home and cried and recovered for a while. No, she didn’t. Then she got off her butt, and she went back into the battlefield and continued to fight. You think she’s going to curl up in the fetal position and cry herself to sleep because there’s a Nativity scene on base? Man up, man up.

I know this isn’t the monologue that Jesus would do, but as my wife usually points out, I’m not Jesus. This isn’t the monologue that Gandhi would do. I don’t think it’s the monologue that George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, I don’t even know if it’s the monologue Charlie Manson would do. I don’t really care. This is the monologue I’m doing today.

I really want to be a better man, but part of that is actually coming to the table, I think, and saying, “Man up.” Stop worrying about offending people, because it’s crippling us, even from interacting on the most basic of levels. A six-year-old boy was suspended after kissing a classmate on the hand. Do you know a woman, any woman here on the set, anybody, just shout your name out if you’re offended if a guy would come up, or a six-year-old kid would come up to you and take your hand and kiss your hand and say, “So nice to meet you.”

If this kid is…is there a soul in the control room, on the floor, anybody, any women? Here’s what happened. He goes, and he kisses a six-year-old girl on the hand because they’re friends. She doesn’t care. She thinks they’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Mom of the girl doesn’t care. Mom of the boy doesn’t care, but the school cares, so they suspended him. Now sexual harassment, and it will live on his record permanently. Don’t you have to know what sex is to be charged with sexual harassment?

Because he kissed a girl on the hand…I’m sorry, but I don’t know of a woman that doesn’t think that that’s cute or if honestly, I mean, me, if I did it, they’d think it was weird, but if somebody came up to them and said, “Madame, it is an honor to meet you,” took the hand and gently kissed it appropriately, are you kidding me? I would look at that guy and go, “I want to just stab you to death,” but my wife would be like, “See, that’s what a man is really like.” Right?

But we have so few examples. I showed you yesterday the selfie of the president. Oh, here he is at a funeral taking selfies, funeral selfies. By the way, that’s not the only thing. I don’t know if you saw the reports today on TheBlaze about the papers in New York, but apparently Michelle wasn’t too happy because he was laughing and flirting it up with the attractive Danish Prime Minister right there in front of his wife.

Can I tell you something? I saw this picture. My wife would look exactly like that. If I were doing that, my wife, she would have hit me. She would have. I am an abuse man. She would have done one of these. She does it all the time – poof!. I’m like, ouch! Okay? This is what’s happening. Look at this. See, this is the other side of being man that is ignored, the six-year-old gets, but we don’t get, chivalry, decency.

He then, he takes this picture, and then he shakes hands and is all smiles with a ruthless dictator who ironically has been imprisoning political opponents without cause, exactly what happened to Nelson Mandela. No icy stare here between these two, huh uh. No straight talk, no hard truths, just propaganda coup for a Cuban dictator, same thing he did for Hugo Chavez. It’s a big show. It’s a big show, and it’s all about him.

Even the interpreter of this, think of this one, the interpreter was a fraud. Is there anything real in the world anymore? The interpreter at Nelson Mandela’s funeral was signing random things that meant absolutely nothing, just making it up. How in the world does that happen? Does anybody ask any questions? Does anybody still lead? Does one person know how to behave? I don’t think so.

Well, no, I’m sorry, I take that back. One person knows how to behave and how to act like a man. Ted Cruz got up and walked out, quietly, dignified manner, but walked out when Castro spoke. But he’s one of the few, and he’s humiliated by the press. I am a guy who if you’ve been listening to me since I started doing talk radio, you listened to me in 2000. And in 2000, I was a wreck, and I was a shell of a man who I am today.

And I think I hopefully will be a shell of a man today of who I will be in ten years. I wasn’t a guy who knew how to behave, how to lead, do nothing, nothing. Because we live in a society where we skated, and then we were told to teach our children that everybody should get a trophy. And then we pampered ourselves and them with the comforts of modern society.

You know why we watch, can I tell you honestly? And maybe you’re better than me, but why do you watch the TV shows that you do and dismiss them and say hey, it’s okay if the kids watch this? Why? Why do you do that? You only do it because you want to watch something better yourself. You want to see it on TV. You’re like, oh they understand. Oh, bull crap, you want to do it. And I say that because I know me, not you. I know me.

We look for the easy way, and then we’re told we can’t say or do things that might offend somebody because everybody’s too weak. Our society has taught men to shut up, to get in line, to follow, to be quiet because, you know, you’ll cause trouble. Well, let me tell you something, and I say this kindly and nicely, if you are easily offended, do yourself a favor, unsubscribe from this network and go complain to someone who cares, because I don’t. I don’t.

You’re going to be offended and not just because I’m trying to do offensive things, but because that’s part of life. I’m offended. I watch things, and I’m offended. I watch things, and you know, my wife’s not offended, but I am. Okay, we all are offended by different things. Time to man up.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher

    Good luck with that Glenn the liberals have turned us all into little children wanting handouts from the government that most people have become whinny little snots.

  • The Blue Tail Gadfly

    Speak for yourself.

  • Anonymous

    Comparing present-day America to the early settlers is like comparing apples to cherries. Nobody today is going through what those early settlers did. Human progress has changed the world and we can’t go back to years gone by. Show me a country anywhere where people in general don’t look for handouts from the government or others. Every government today is a system of “elites” vs peasants. Were it not for all your own fans, Glenn, you would be kaput.

  • ellievl

    Onward Christian Soldiers!

  • soybomb315

    Lots of talk, no action. No discussion of ideas and specific areas we can move forward. Glenn has the attention of millions of people for 4 hours every day. Where is the talk about the tea party challengers? How about the federal reserve and audit the fed bill that goes nowhere because nobody cares? How about all the wars and wrong foreign policy (oops, that one is not applicable to repubilcans)?

    Unfortunately it’s a soap box. And it’s about ratings, not change. Incredibly frustrating for those of us who have had to learn on our own and watch as the conservative leaders let the rest of you down time after time.

  • soybomb315

    Usually it is about tribal politics, feigned outrage, or some ramblings about how we need to do better but never do. But Glenn, there is only one thing you need to do – spread information

  • soybomb315

    You can blame liberals all you want but it is parents who are responsible for raising bad kids

  • TomJoad

    Hey Glenn Beck – you know what a real man would do??
    He wouldn’t make idiotic voices in a lame attempt to discredit people that, well, that aren’t him.
    He certainly wouldn’t blatantly lie (2:08- fwd) about something that he said FUCKING YESTERDAY!
    A real man would also never use terms like ‘Oh mygosh’ and ‘Bullcrap’ while trying to act like an internet tough guy who just happens to have a security detail.
    He also wouldn’t bitch about athletes and/or soldiers being concerned about the vry real and serious dangers they face in their chosen profession.
    A real man would write his own fucking books.

    Most importantly, a real man would NEVER passive-aggressively berate his son on television.

  • Anonymous

    I disagree with you here. If the attitude of Americans doesn’t change toward personal responsibility nothing else will change. He is talking about the basis of the problem. Ron Paul talked about auditing the Fed for 30 years. 50% of the country receives government benefits now and do not care where the money comes from. I would say Glen is dead on.

  • Anonymous

    Are you this real man of which you feel Glen is not?. What is your personal story that you can share?

  • Anonymous

    There is a reason why Glen has fans and why you most likely do not.

  • Elaine Lopez

    No talk of ideas? You apparently watch Glenn and don’t want others to because they’ll see you.

  • Elaine Lopez

    Hey TomToad – A real man wouldn’t be what he hates. But, congratulations on proving that old adage true: We project onto others what we hate in ourselves.

  • Elaine Lopez

    Hey TomToad – A real man wouldn’t be what he hates. But, congratulations on proving that old adage true: We project onto others what we hate in ourselves.

  • Bonnie Somer

    We can go on and on about what govt is doing today or we can change it to what it should be what WE want that is what We The People means not we the govt. The ads have been written for anyone running for election in 2014 and 16 we need to keep fighting for what AMERICA is and means to us and the world the socialist progressives cannot make us slaves to anyone unless u want to b and y would u?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher

    Yes but it is liberals who say that they are all of the communities children instead of the parents.

  • BlueMN

    One thing a “real man” wouldn’t do is throw a public hissy fit like Beck did in that video.

    Of the true leaders I’ve had in my life, they were all calm, collected, and professional under pressure and made everyone around them feel the situation was under control. They were never screamers, like Beck.

  • Ted C

    Apparently that monologue was directed at people like you Tom. Man up.

  • Ted C

    I saw no screaming in that video.

  • Ted C

    Great monologue Glenn. Judging by the comments you touched a nerve. Good!

  • Joseph Upton


  • Anonymous

    …ZZZ. Wake me up when this boring show isn’t about idiots.

  • brynda50

    And how old are you? I mean, you speak of “the true leaders in your life.” Just who would that be? Obama, Pelosi, Reid or maybe Hillary? Glenn Beck is a good, Christian man who, like myself, hates the direction in which this country is going. He, like me, abhors taking Jesus and/or Christ out of Christ mas. See the lack of connection here? When you take God out of America, you go downhill–just the direction our country is going.You actually need someone to make you “feel the situation is under control’? Oh, I’m so sorry–NOTHING is under control in the Obama Administration or in this country. “Screamers?” I must have missed that part. I didn’t see Glenn scream even once. You need to get a reality check before we all end up living in a Communist country run by Herr Obama. He’s already on the Socialist path. Socialism stinks! Ask anybody who actually lives in a socialist country, like France for instance. The lines to get treated for any problem are long, the doctors make next to nothing for their work, and now it’s being overrun by Muslims as is Great Britain and other European countries. Is that how you want to live–no Christ, no freedom to spew off your stupidity like you did here, no America left to proudly fly her colors, no military to protect you but only the government? Glenn Beck is a REAL MAN. I married a REAL man. I have two sons who are REAL men. They are former Marines who served their FREE country and were happy to do so. Thank God–yes GOD, that there are a few real men left, like Glenn Beck who has armed bodyguards because of all the idiots who want to take his life for speaking the truth about the douchebag Obama and his cronies, like you, are making of this country. And this is also for all of you out there who think Glenn Beck is not a real man. You obviously don’t understand the term.

  • brynda50

    Well said, Pomchop. Idiots all.

  • Sara Arrellin

    Thanks Glenn! You are brilliant!

  • Usagikitti

    That is not entirely true. Try starting a business and making it successful. There is an element of “pioneer” spirit in that. And to quote many mothers “if everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to”. Just because other countries have people with their hands out for some sort of freebie does not mean we need to walk down that road. We are Americans! We are innovators, inventors, free enterprise, out-of-the-box thinkers! We come up with the most astounding stuff because we ARE pioneers! No, we don’t have to worry about indians raiding our wagons or fierce beasts or fording rivers but have you seen the tax code and paid attention to your local politicians? Different landscape but same dangers, my friend.

  • Chris Cole

    Dramatic much? Some of the stuff on here is incredible but some is a little, sometimes a lot, ridiculous. I couldnt agree more with the points that are made but the way they are delivered are a bit much.

  • Melanie Schmutz Hatch


  • Melanie Schmutz Hatch

    Disgusting!! Real men know how to use REAL words instead of using the F word for fillers!

  • Jennifer Davis

    I think Christians need to start making the calls the liberals and atheists have been making – as a Christian, I am offended that such and such organization took down or did not put up a Creche scene. Think that would make any difference? If all it takes is one phone call for some group of offended atheists to get a nativity removed, what would happen if a bunch of phone calls came in from groups of offended Christians came in?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher

    I have not taken any of their money or handouts but go ahead try to paint me into something I am not like always.

  • Fat Lip

    Everyone can be as pissed off as they want but the reality bits harder when it hits you right in the face !
    Just watch the weather and look at all the wussies do as the fear monster that they have let creep into there lives control them .
    Booo !

  • Fat Lip

    Then as it was then again it will be they don’t get it probably not supposed too.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher


  • The Blue Tail Gadfly

    Sam, you are so out of touch with reality it is truly frightening.

    It’s pretty pathetic when I have to point out to you what you wrote .

    “the liberals have turned us all into little children wanting handouts from the government” ~Sam Fisher

    When some one says, “turned us all”, that means everyone including yourself. It’s not my fault that you cannot express your chaotic thoughts in a coherent and reasonable manner.

  • Jonathon Howton

    Don’t the parents have the choice of whether or not to believe the propaganda?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher

    Yes but some just love to live in a fantasy world.

  • Robert LaRochelle

    Unfortunately, Jennifer, we as Christians in this nation are L A Z Y and afraid of offending others…others who take advantage of that.

  • Anonymous

    Leadership. Does that word mean anything to you? What ideas do you have? Glenn’s show inspires me. I am doing things at my local level, discussing things with others who will listen, learning as much as I can and planning for disaster. Don’t wait to be led by the nose.

  • Anonymous

    Calm, collected, professional? Patton was before most of our time, but he was anything but. Just one example. Sam Adams and Thomas Paine were pretty animated gentlemen from what I’ve read.

  • Anonymous

    That is absolutely no excuse for accepting it. You missed the point entirely. The world is full of soft, spineless, cowardly fools. Does that justify becoming one? Will that make you a winner?

  • Rhonda Kelley (nee Williams)

    I think all the Christians should run around shouting how offended we are that there’s no crosses and nativity scenes in various places. Apparently, being “offended” gets you whatever you want. When did it become a crime to “offend” someone. I’m offended by my whole damn government, and no one’s giving me a THING for that!

  • BlueMN

    It shouldn’t have been that complicated for you, I said, “in my life,” in other words, people I knew personally.

    As far as a reality check goes, if you think Obama is actually a communist or even a socialist why are corporate profits so high and wealth distribution so unequal compared most other industrialized nations under his watch?

    If healthcare is so bad in W. Europe and Canada, ask yourself, why don’t they get rid of it? Fact is they get better healthcare and pay less for it.

    If Beck wants to speak truth about “Obama and his cronies,” more power to him. When does that start?

  • BlueMN

    Good point. Having read his book “War as I Knew It” I think his temper may have been overstated, but it is an autobiography after all.

  • Anonymous

    I just love (despise) those signs in restrooms that tell you how to wash your hands. Duh, since when don’t I know how to do this without assistance. Good grief. Nanny state unleashed…

  • mikey

    Its not the liberals, democrats, republicans, Tea parties, etc. Its us as the American people who are failing. Failing to educate and search for the truths in life. being to lazzy to care about others and our surroundings. Being self-centered little snots that we are, we have to knit-pick everyone else to make us feel better. All ways have to be right in our ignorant ways to prove the other person wrong. To busy fighting each other to get the upper hand. In the past, we’ve looked past are differences and helped each other out. Through hard work, determination, commpation and faith that things would be better, communities would band together and help each other out and thrive. So with that said, get off your pity pot, pull your big girl pants up and be proactive in your communities. you don’t need money, just your hands. Clean that side walk in front of your stoop, if your working on your yard and a neighbor happens to be doing the same, offer them a hand. get to know each other. if you don’t like how things are, get off the couch and do something about it. (W/o bashing each other that is.)

  • Grieze Bryan

    I’m offended by my whole dang government let us all get rid of it now.

  • Sheena

    I am offended that I am not a millionaire. Now I am going to throw a temper tantrum, the likes of which have not been seen since Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka…daddy, I want an oompa loompa and I want one NOW!

  • Sheena

    speak for yourself, dude

  • Sheena

    You are VERY wrong about healthcare in England. I have a friend who lives there and when her fiance started having a vision problem, their solution was to wait 5 months to get an appointment at the “free” doctor, or they could pay for a real doctor and get in within a few days. It is a good thing they decided to pay because he would have been almost blind by the time their “free” appointment time came around. The reason they can’t rid themselves of their socialized medicine and way of life is the same reason there is still a queen…it is now “just the way it is.” You can’t just wake up one day and restructure a government you simpleton!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Sam Fisher

    Well at least their is a few with the balls to turn the government down.

  • BlueMN

    Britain is a constitutional monarchy. Both the Monarchy and NHS could be abolished by an act of Parliament but they haven’t because the British people want them both.

  • Kraig Hardy

    what about they just put up a crashed sled and rain dear half buried in the ground and a santa slumped out of the sled looking dead, as a replacement,, see how many people are offended by that scene

  • Anonymous

    Glenn, you’re such a manly man. When your country needed you, you rushed to join the military to fight for your country!

  • jeff.cox

    I think this is all heartfelt, but in a way, also very sad. America is no longer an indigenous white, Christian population, nor has it been for many years. Our founding fathers in their wisdom saw to it that the search for religious freedom which was at the heart of the founding of our country would be an important part of our Constitution. We are NOT a Christian theocracy, thank God, but a nation whose government was designed to honor all faiths, or none at all. It’s time to man up and realize that we are sharing our nation with a fantastic variety of faiths and cultures, and to embrace the wisdom of a government which not only allows but encourages this kind of diversity and shared experience.

  • John Scott

    Glenn this comes from a America who does not want winners and losers but rather participants in kids sports. Everyone get’s a trophy no matter how BAD you are. Let’s not make anyone feel bad by making this Country, gender, race, and religion neutral. Let’s forget about who we are and why our forefathers and mothers came here.

  • Anonymous

    Underwear Cat is scarier…by far! 8|