Glenn turns TV show into a 1940s noir movie in MyRA takedown

What do you get when you take a fedora, some jazz, a legless prostitute and mix it in with the latest soon-to-be-failure to come out of the White House? You get an early frontrunner for best Glenn Beck monologue of 2014…and a pretty solid lesson on why MyRA is destined to fail.

In the clip, Glenn throws on a trench coat and a fedora to tell the story of Mr. Lucky, a desperate casino owner whose establishment had long since seen better days.

One day, a guy named Sam walked into Lucky’s casino looking to make a deal. He had a new kind of machine to turn “Lucky’s” around, Miss MyRA. He sensed Mr. Lucky’s desperation, promising a no risk investment opportunity that would pay off big time down the road if Mr. Lucky would just hand over his savings.

Mr. Lucky hesitated knowing Sam was flat broke, didn’t have so much as a pot to pee in. But desperation took hold and signed on with Miss MyRA.

Sam promised the money would be safe with him, he would be the only one with access. Just to be safe.

A few years roll by, and Mr. Lucky’s situation went from bad to worse. Miss MyRA was a hit at first, but pretty soon it stopped paying out. It wasn’t long before “Lucky’s” was closed for good and old Mr. Lucky was off marrying a legless prostitute named Charlie, having learned a painful lesson: A guarantee is only as good as the person who is holding it, and if it sounds too good to be true it probably us.

Did you follow all that? Or did you skip right to the end? Either way, just watch the video:

CORRECTION: This story originally had referenced the noir style Glenn was emulating was from 1920s, it was actually 1940s.

  • Anonymous

    I hear that…….don’t fall for it folks..just don’t. Period.

  • http://www.williamamanning.com/ William A Manning

    a little more “noir” and it would have been confusing

  • Anonymous

    Actually film noir began in the 1940s. Films were still silent in the 1920s. This was a great segment, however.

  • David Calhoun

    Glenn should have been wearing a three-piece, and the second that cig hit the ashtray, the lights should have gone out.

    Great segment.

  • http://punditfight.com/ American Pundit Fighting

    Impressive segment and something only Glenn would attempt. What WWE is to Sports entertainment, Glenn Beck is to News. He has a flair for the dramatic, charisma and political savvy to capture the public’s attention. Hands down the most versatile character on the ‘American Pundit Fighting’ roster

  • landofaahs

    As long as it is voluntary, I’m all for it. Let the little chump Obama supporters buy these treasuries and keep the Ponzi scheme govt going a while longer. It gives me time to help more people shift real resources around the globe. Gems, gold, silver among others. Idiot democrats need and deserve the screwing coming to them, not to mention the slavery.

  • landofaahs

    Actually, all liberals should fill their cup with obamanomics and suffer the hell coming from it.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm…video wouldn’t play for me. Oh well, I get the idea.

    What I see missing from all reporting and analysis on this topic is the simple reason that MyRA is even being proposed: because the Federal Government is about to hit a giant brick wall.

    If the Fed stops printing money to buy US bonds, there will be absolutely not enough bond buyers to keep the US government’s debt-fest afloat.

    It will be the failed-treasury auction that Mitt Romney was caught predicting in that off-camera speech he made to his campaign staff. (the one where he talked about the dangers of a collecting majority as well).

    So Obama and his band of losers come up with a scheme to buy a little more time by hood-winking unsuspecting Americans into buying more debt by “investing” in this MyRA crap.

    Which is a bad bet. And it’s good that conservative media is saying that.

    But why is no one, including Glenn, talking about the underlying crisis????

  • Anonymous

    It should be called a WhyRA because you can already start an IRA for a low initial investment. If someone can’t afford to invest in an IRA how can they afford to invest in this? What’s the point unless it is the first step in creating another entitlement?

  • Anonymous

    PSST…..Glenn Marlowe….Two woids for ya

    Electronic Cigarettes.

    They come in nicotine free fruit flavors, and the end glows either blue or orange when you puff them, which doesn’t matter in sepia tones anyway, and you don’t risk burning down your world headquarters when the extra tries some goofy lighting method.

    As for Myra the dame with the flashy eyes , she needs to take a Big Sleep, before we are all in Double Indemnity. If we need help, we’ll just whistle. Ya know how do whistle…… doncha?

  • Robert Starkand

    In the 1020′s there was no film noir. The movies then were mostly silent.

  • Tommy may

    LlIKE TO GET INTO HER TRAY>>

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Smalley/1623378542 Tom Smalley

    REPEAL the DELAY then and “LET THE LOSSES BEGIN”…………seems the 1st is WHAT IS NOT COLLECTED From the GOV Work force, Mike Enzi your good with NUMBERS , AM I WRONG HERE? PLEASE REPLY ? ….”CBO HEARING”……SEEMS DOUG FORGOT TO ADD $2 TRILLION thats “NOT COLLECTED” in TAXES FROM the 3.6 IN GOVERNMENT…………… “A decade of Democrat-engineered Obamacare will increase budget deficits by $1 trillion and cost the economy the equivalent of 2.5 million jobs” REALLY AMERICA ? so we spend $1.5 Trillion MORE to then PAY UI Ins ,and Higher Medical , in my book that means CONGRESS needs to Raise the PAYROLL TAX LIMIT to PAY FOR THIS SPENDING , and with 3.6 Million Federal Workers and 50% + are Paid WELL over THE LIMIT the CBO SAID its a HUGE amount that’s NOT COLLECTED $300 BILLION but congress just puts that on to the DEBT………oh BUT keeps the $50 Million Parties and $50 Million bonuses……………………………how many of those in that meeting are paid OVER THE $113,000 Payroll Tax LIMIT ,lets use the Entire House Membership 435 Members X $200,000 = $87,000,000…..well 6% of that is about $5,220,000 BUT ONLY 1/2 of that is COLLECTED ,HEY LUCKY lets divide 3.6 Million government SAMS by 435 , Remember if 435 are not paying $2.5 Million we then X’s the $2.5M buy 8276 = $206,896,551,172.00 THAT IS NOT COLLECTED , Folks that’s $207 BILLION , BUT in a TEN YEAR BUDGET as SAMMY like to Use to Figure ,THATS $2,068,965,517,241.00 or JUST OVER $2 TRILLION , THAT FOLKS is THEFT worse than BIRNIE MADOFF and he is in JAIL ……Question ? what reason did they DELAY EMPLOYER MANDATE other then to SHEILD the JOBS LOSSES till AFTER the ELECTION FOLKS , Gosh all these DEMOCRATS Jump for JOY for the ACA Act , REPEAL the DELAY then and “LET THE LOSSES BEGIN”….WHY #DELAY it OVER & OVER & OVER

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Smalley/1623378542 Tom Smalley

    why use Marlboro and not “LUCKY Strikes”

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Revan

    I have no idea what this is even about. MyRA has been less explained than Obamacare and that is a train wreck.

  • CHHR

    This is why: http://www.forbes.com/sites/ryanellis/2014/02/05/sour-grapes-from-some-conservatives-on-the-myra/

    If we can’t even discuss the issues underlying myRA, how can anyone even broach the subject of long term and catastrophic losses of the market… to the tune of $3 TRILLION so far this year.

    Seems that other very well penned article from 2012, equally demeaned, is coming true… http://t.co/MlaBevl7F9

  • Anonymous

    yeah! I’m pretty sure your correct in the 1020′s most of the movies were silent!

  • Anonymous

    Good job Glenn… Save America with truths and a great actor… I like it!

  • Kyle Lofton

    Ok, so I missed the conclusion due to technical difficulties, but on the bright side, it ended with Glenn saying “I’ll be a son of a one-eyed poodle”.

  • Fat Lip

    MYRA
    My raw anus sounds so Obamanistic go ahead get one now it only hurts a little

  • Anonymous

    That was good schtik Mr. Beck – try a chocolate cigar next time – better tasting?! :-)
    The Market is so good, the 401k [which really is a 101.125k] is making huge gains, the IRA’s are just fantastic, we are on our way to 20,000 Dow – WOW Let’s go!! Just making money hand over fist!!

    When The Man made the announcement in the SOTU, I decided to cash all of them in for precious metals. I mean, come on, following Alinksy thinking, ask, nudge, shove, shoot….. it only takes a few minutes to understand the “crisis” is just around the corner, and they “think” they’ve got the solution”. [ if you think a solution they have, I have a mile high tower to sell you in Dubai - an olde con called "The Lichtenstein" ]
    I Figured that when the markets correct, I’ll make up my losses & penalties fairly quickly on the other side in these commodities. I bet the President was the single biggest Salesperson/Spokesman of Gold & SIlver in the Modern Age?!!

  • Hal Slusher

    Got to love Glenn. Yeah lets trust the people that cleaned out social security fund.

  • Anonymous

    Not much explanation is needed for MyRA. An employee can tell their employer they want to enroll in the new gov retirement plan – myra. The employer then will handle the administrative and paperwork to take money out of the employees check – as little as 5$/wk and give it to the gov for a safe investment – gov bonds. it is being billed as no possibility that you can lose money, only make money – maybe as much as 3% on your investment. By the time you are ready to retire, you will have enough money to /???? Question is – what will the gov do with that money and is it a segway into all retirement accounts so they can manage ALL that money? You regularly hear the administration talk about how poor granny got ripped off by a fraudster and someone should save her.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8FvmesaxXg Revan

    Ok I been confused about this whole system since Obama mentioned it. Thanks.

  • suegee

    This was so good – so funny even if lack of a real man who smokes! yea Mr. Sanders, but will smoke ascend from the choc. cigar.

  • David Kriegh

    An early front runner for an Oscar!

  • Stephen McGregor

    Voluntary? But then, there’ll be a directive, that you (all of our) 410(k) and IRA accounts don’t meet the Government Standards set by them. And they’ll proceed to break another promise (“if you like your healthcare/doctor, you can keep it”… And they’ll make you take your investments to the Government Investment Exchanges.

    How many lies can they tell? How many times can they steal the hard earned money of those working and paying the freight before we throw them out and find those that believe in Small Government and Individual Achievement to put in their place?

    But as long as there are promises of “free money”, “free food”, free phones”, there will be people standing in line to vote for them..

  • Stephen McGregor

    Ah, and the money will be left securely in a “Lock Box” just like Social Security,(or like it was supposed to be?) and it’ll all be in a nice fund in 50 years????

  • Stephen McGregor

    Another entitlement(that they took money from your paycheck for), just like Social Security. And then, when the money isn’t there and the economy is in the tank, they’ll just want to cut back on it… What a farce…

  • Anonymous

    Oh Glen, you are just too good. You were just born a few decades too late.

  • Bob Rice

    is Obama and carney going to put their money into MYRA??? that MYRA is just another way for Obama to steal/borrow the money, cause they sure as god made little kitterns,arent going to have the money to pay it back !!! BUT,heres another way youre going to get screwed,with the rate of inflation going up,the money you put into that MYRA,will be worth a LOT less,SO,screw that spend the money NOW,by buying silver or gold….

  • Eatie Gourmet

    They still make them?

  • Earl Scott

    Now that CVS is not going to sell cigarettes, they may have room for a “POT COUNTER” , YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • landofaahs

    Very true. It is why I agree with Jim Sinclair on the GOTS. (Get Out of The System). There are ways to protect assets. I assist many in that area. You can find some good ones out there.

  • Anonymous

    If you like your current 401k you can keep your 401k. Wait, that sounds familiar.

  • Anonymous

    Been a long time since I’ve seen a glass ashtray. Then again it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you in a real hat, Glenn. After all this time you still look smooth. Even if beards weren’t exactly the style back then

  • Josie

    Hey folks keep in mind that we were forced to contribute into Social Security all of our lives – as our OUR – retirement savings that was safe and sure to come back to us when we needed. Of course Gov took the money and decided to use it for it’s “war on poverty” programs and anything else it could get it’s sticky fingers in and thus the mess we have. Now they want us to again volunteer to contribute into a program where they control the money – really????? HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHa. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

  • Mike Bike

    Not for long MrSanders. Soon what they claim is a firm footing 17 trillion in debt spending will crack again. The market would be in the toilet without the fiat lie of the Federal Reserve Fleecing America, almost as bad as the 650 million website By the way Microsoft cost 50 ,thousand to start.You should see what people are interested in on you tube hits. Beyoncé and other ridiculous videos. Then you have a PHD lecture with minimal hit counts. Tells you where the brains are not. Explains how easy mainstream media is able to form public opinion. It is pathetic. Infowars. channel. People would actually vote for Hillary Klingon Clinton even though 4 of her employees are dead she states what difference does it make. I am sick of the lies of the Clintons. Clinton Chronicles, you tube, Jeckle Island You tube, Obama deception you tube, End game, America destroyed by design

  • Mike Bike

    How blind could a man be.

  • Mike Bike

    The same shoes Converse that were American made and cost 5 dollars when I was a boy are now 50 dollars and made overseas. WAKE UP DUDE. It is a fleece job of fiat proportion. See Jeckle Island a DrED Griffin You tube. Please get off the mainstream media tit and go to infowars NOW>

  • Mike Bike

    All done with fiat money on the backs of future generations. You are not human. You are a fool.

  • Mike Bike

    Safe investment. Hahahahahaha just like SS# are safe. BS. They are already raiding the TSP funds of federal workers.

  • Mike Bike

    Clinton Chronicles, you tube your deception is complete.

  • Anonymous

    Obama has produced nothing but dead rotten skunks for six years, everything this guy touches stinks!

  • Anonymous

    The government borrowed money from the Social Security Account (a involuntary contract between citizens and gov. ) to finance entitlement programs and now threaten that Social Security is going broke; can’t believe the public will fall for a scheme to have additional access to more of your paycheck.

  • Anonymous

    Not likely. Dems. will look at the account as a vehicle for more entitlements.

  • Anonymous

    Wait! Wait! Wait! First the hooker has no legs, then one leg, then no legs again and is tumbling out of chairs. Clearly an analogy for our government. Oh, Glenn and his allegories! I am just confused as to which one of these characters is Barney Frank and which one is Greenspan. I KNOW it’s obvious that “Charley” is Andrea Mitchell. Guess I’ll have to tune in tomorrow folks.

  • Anonymous

    I was joking – really joking – really really joking about the “greatness” of today’s market. I’m not blind to the events in front of or behind the curtains of today’s economic events. I understand the butcher’s bill is coming….. I am not blind on our’s or the world’s stupidity/insanity. Just trying to provide levity. I mean, I can’t even talk to my friends or family about the big “bad(s)” coming our way anymore – they just won’t listen…. I’ve had to do all the prep for “the time” that’s marching toward US.

  • Anonymous

    not blind am I but always seek, searching out truth.

  • Anonymous

    As am I!! I consider Sovereign Debt a major threat to National Security!!

  • Anonymous

    Awake, alive and well on the Planet Earth!

  • Anonymous

    Already are – they just don’t see it just yet.

  • Anonymous

    Zuit Suit would have been cool!!

  • Anonymous

    Myra another three card monte scheme………..

  • grassroot

    But the gummint needs your money as they’ve sacked and looted the Soc. Sec. accounts to where there isn’t enough
    to bother with anymore. It’ll get to where everybody will
    have to get into the government IRA by force and default.

  • grassroot

    It will be guaranteed , at around one or two percent, can’t beat them rates.

  • grassroot

    If it’s from this administration, it can’t be good foe the wage
    earner.

  • geezer117

    Waddya mean? This is the deal of the century, Democrats! Any Obama lover who doesn’t put their savings into MyRA is a traitor to the One! Do it, Democrats! DO IT!!!

  • WinnieR

    If it sounds to good to be true? Ya, obamacare.

  • WinnieR

    Agreed. Sadly though, other will get caught in that web.

  • WinnieR

    I did catch your sarcasm. Some think the market will continue to bubble with the continuation of QE3. The trick is to know when to pull out before the big guys trade your gains for losses.

  • WinnieR

    Yes, the timing was well planned.

  • WinnieR

    Zoot Suit Riot, great tune. Used to power walk to that song.

  • WinnieR

    There has been talk about govt annuitizing retriement/401 accounts for quite some time. Code for more IOU’s.

  • WinnieR

    “guarantee” by the good faith and credit of the U.S. govt. How’s that been working out?

  • WinnieR

    Kinda what I was thinking. This is nothing more than govt borrowing your money with the promise of an IOU by future generations.

  • WinnieR

    It’s a roundabout way of creating more unfunded benefits.

  • Murtud Lubadus

    Daniel Amerman explains the MyRA very nicely. MyRAs are instantly identifiable not as a
    means of closing the income gap, but as a means of increasing the flow
    of dollars from the poor and middle class to the federal government, for
    the direct financial benefit of the federal government.
    http://danielamerman.com/articles/2014/MyrasC.html

  • WinnieR

    Sadly, they failed to understand from whence you came. Have a nice day!

  • WinnieR

    No doubt you understand that possession is 90% of ownership?

  • WinnieR

    Oh, they web they’ve woven.

  • artb51

    Oh yeah… we should fall for being 20 trillion in debt, your can keep your insurance, the job market is great, the housing making is going great, and the economy is on an upswing. In the meantime, unemployment benefits are extended because everything is so wonderful. Please remove your head from you know where.

  • Keith

    After perusing the first several comments, I am amazed that no one has picked up on the obvious. What was Social Security supposed to be? Your retirement account with Uncle Sam correct? They’ve milked that account for all its worth and now need to implement this train wreck to fleece you twice. They better have an opt out option and everyone with a functioning brain cell needs to opt out before it too becomes mandatory.

  • Defend The Constitution

    Liberty implies a private boundary inside which conditions cannot be controlled by other people and where choices cannot be restricted to those determined by others.

  • G21

    Those of the liberty school understand that voluntary associations of free people are capable of far more than detached central planners.

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  • ill never blog again

    Isn’t this the same type of thing they just mocked MSNBC for doing when MSNBC did the Karnac bit (and rightfully so)? As soon as he went into this stupid bit I went from very interested to annoyed. I shut it off and never watched the rest. I wish glenn would stop forcing his theater nerd outside interests into the show. It is a distraction and makes an otherwise great and important show very easily dismissed as pathetic/fake news. If subscribers and advocates can’t stomach these stupid bits do you think a newcomer will? Just constructive criticism, I am not asking for Glenn to be a robot, just not to degrade his brand or undermine an issue with hard to watch schtick.

  • Haley Schmitterbach

    Additional fears of liberty and responsibility arise as natural reactions to the persistent effort and continuous self-discipline required to succeed in a free country.