French President François Hollande arrived in the United States yesterday – sans any girlfriends or mistresses – for a three-day tour of our nation’s capital. On Monday, Presidents Hollande and Obama visited Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello estate, to honor Jefferson, who served as U.S. envoy to France before becoming president. Tonight, President Hollande and other dignitaries will gather at the White House for a lavish state dinner with a menu fit for a king.

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“So the President of the United States is having President Hollande from France over [for dinner]. So it’s socialist night at the White House,” Glenn said on radio this morning. “Remember the Reagan china? Nancy got blasted for raising money herself, private money to be able to buy china for these state dinners… She was accused of being fancy… the press excoriated, crucified her for it – saying she was Marie Antoinette.”

The gala will take place on the South Lawn of the White House where heated tents will be mounted to shield guests from the frigid temperatures. Guests will takes small trolleys to the tents that will be transformed into a spring-like scene inspired by Monet’s famous Water Lilies complete with quince branches in full bloom, blue agapanthus, and lilies.

“President Obama invited Hollande for a state visit to highlight the long relationship between the two countries. I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad our President is working on highlighting the great relationship between France and America because that’s what we need more of,” Glenn quipped. “Screw the jobs. Let’s do Monet in a tent, so we could talk about a long relationship with the people who gave us a giant statue and then said put it together and find a place for it. But maybe it’s just me.

Mary J. Blige will perform at the event, while attendees dine on an elaborate four-course meal. The first course will feature caviar, harvesting from Illinois streams, Pennsylvania quail eggs, and 12 varieties of potatoes… because it would be silly to only have eleven.

“The salad will be served in a terrarium-like bowl, including herbs from the White House kitchen garden and honey from the White House beehive,” Pat explained. “Let’s not forgot the dry-aged rib eye from a farm in Colorado that will highlight the main course. For desert, of course, you are going to have the Hawaiian malted ganache with Vermont maple syrup and puffs of cotton candy, dusted with orange zest.”

“I would say let them eat cake, but it’s not on the menu,” Glenn joked. “This is incredible.”

To add insult to injury, First Lady Michelle Obama’s official Twitter account tweeted this “adorable” photo of first dogs Bo and Sunny yesterday:

This lavish event comes from a White House that has made “income inequality” its mission statement.

“He can talk about the rich, and the income inequality, and how he’s a worrier for the middle class and little guy, and then act this way with another Marxist-minded person, François Hollande,” Pat said disgusted. “They can live high on the hog like this, instead of having soup and crackers or finger sandwiches and giving the rest of the poor.”

Front page image courtesy of the AP