The United States is $17 trillion in debt, so what’s another $1 billion? According to the AP, U.S. officials say the White House will announce a $1 billion aid package to Ukraine to help offset lost energy subsidies as the country seeks to extricate itself from Russia’s influence.

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“Ok, here’s a really good thing. We have been trying to figure out what we could possibly do to help the people of the Ukraine,” Glenn said on radio this morning. “The President of the United States has decided to borrow more money from China to give to the Ukraine.”

“Why didn’t he just say, ‘Hey, China. Could you send the Ukraine another billion dollars,’’ Pat asked.

“Because China is on the side of Russia. So we are borrowing Chinese money to give it to the Ukraine,” Glenn explained. “What we have decided to do – because Russia is saying, ‘We are going to cut your gas subsidy’ – so we’ve decided to say, ‘Hey, we’ll float that for you.’”

The announcement comes as Secretary of State John Kerry landed in Kiev as a sign of solidarity. The AP reports the economic package will include training assistance for Ukraine’s national bank, Finance Ministry, and election observers ahead of the May 25 vote.

“Well, we have so much money. We are so rich,” Stu joked. We are so good at borrowing, I should say. We are going to take the money and give it to the Ukraine.”


“We are the poorest rich people ever. We don’t have any of the money to pay it back,” Glenn added. “But the good thing is the Chinese will eventually stop waiting for us to pay it back and so then they will lay claim to our coal or to our gas or to our oil. And they will just take it.”

When you consider that we aren’t actually utilizing the bulk of our energy resources anyway, maybe we should just hand them over to the Chinese now.

“We are not using it anyway,” Pat said. “Let them have it… You now own the north sleep of Alaska.”

“You’re right. Quite honestly, when it comes to that, if we aren’t going to use it, why not,” Glenn concluded. “Why not just say: $17 trillion. Here it is in oil. Just take that oil. You can even pump it out…Take it and just give us the $17 trillion. Slip us a note and say we are paid in full.”

Front page image courtesy of the AP