WATCH: Secretary of State John Kerry joins the radio program to explain all the options that are on the table

Earlier this month, Secretary of State John Kerry made the rounds on the Sunday morning shows to explain “all options are on the table” as the United States determines how to respond to Russia’s invasion of Crimea. On radio this morning, the Secretary of State (or at least someone who sounds a lot like him) made a surprise appearance to discuss what “all options” actually means.

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As it turns out, the Obama Administration is currently considering a myriad of options – including the highly effective ‘Honey Boo-Boo Option’ that involves the American people just forgetting about the whole Ukraine crisis and watching reality TV instead.

“This is one of the options. And we could say, ‘Okay, that would work.’ And then the American people will just forget about the whole thing and start watching Honey Boo-Boo again,” Secretary of State Kerry (aka Pat Gray) explained. “That’s the Honey Boo-boo option. We’re calling it by its top-secret name right now.”

Unfortunately, the conversation failed to make Glenn feel any better about the state of U.S. foreign policy.

“This would actually make me feel better if this were or actual policies. But I think our policies are probably worse than this,” Glenn said exaperatedly. “I this is an honest question: Who’s running our damn country? Who is making the policies for our country? The President doesn’t go again to his national security briefing two days before a red line is passed… Seriously, what are the odds that he reads our policies at the same time you’re hearing them come out of his mouth? I think there’s a real possibility. The guy is not going to his briefings. When do they give them?”

For those who lived through the Carter Administration, it may have seemed impossible at the time to imagine things could get any worse… but then came the Obama Administration.

“Remember when we said, ‘You will marvel, you’ll dream for the days of Jimmy Carter,’” Glenn concluded. “Gang, you’re here.”

Front page image courtesy of the AP

  • Deckard426

    Putin and his pals are laughing their asses off at the illegal alien boy from Kenya.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72EnfFysPFE Connor

    I think this is the best idea yet.

  • landofaahs

    Did someone have enough sense to ask Kerry if the use of Nuclear weapons were on the table.

  • JD

    “… for nearly a half hour…” HA!

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  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94rcOVJBMYQ Winston Blake
  • ken.

    when all the options are on the table, they are just sitting there collecting dust. you have to use them to get results.

  • 7tom7

    Far as I’m concern Russia made the first move with a act of war against Ukraine with it army invasion !!! If Ukraine is our ally then I would give Ukraine army and assist to throw back the Russia army without committing our troops !! First for top cover I would have our Air Force F22 and Navy F35 lighting to knock down any enemy Russia air craft and if Russia anti- aircraft missile fire over the border into Ukraine air space they will take out these too !! The Russia air force have nothing close in matching our new generation of jets F22 and F35 !!! Two F22 jets took on 18 latest version of F18 hornets in exercise the F22 down all of the Hornets like they were nothing not losing a F22 !!! The F22 odds be even better against Russia older generations of jet fighters !! This would open up Ukraine air space for F15,F16,F18 to pound Russia tanks and troops concentration !! Russia cannot afford the black eye of losing good portion of it army and Air Force and economic stress with a limit hot war with the West !! But Putin counting on this girl boy of obama is too afraid to strike back with counter stroke for Putin blatant act of war on a ally !!!??? The only card Putin has to cut off natural gas to Western Europe open ,simple open our drilling wells , extend natural gas pipeline to connect to one of the distribution pipeline convert it to feed natural gas to Boston LNG port for overseas shipment at the other tie in into existing pipelines in Ukraine and cut off supplies from Russia !! This would cause economic hardship on Russia and won’t be so eager in making un provoke acts of wars on the West !! Just the threat the west mean business may make Russia retreat from Ukraine with no hot conflict !! Bully Putin gave a un provoke punch to the face of the west deserve one back !! A un provoke act of war need a counter stroke with a of act of war if we don’t this bully of Putin will keep going country after country !!

  • 7tom7

    Putin got obama buffalo into being too scare in fighting back ,even if obama has the power to give this bully Putin a good bloody nose and send him and his troops running back to Russia !! If obama really want to send a message for Russia to back off !! He would make a major rush effort for U.S to connect our southern and western pipe line that are connected to natural gas resources to one of the converted distribution line to feed the Boston LNG terminal !!

  • 7tom7

    I say give thanks to Putin and Russia for making the first move of a un provoke act of war and don’t blame the U.S for taking defensive measure for a ally or a peaceful nation . It was Russia that started this incident and the left wing news media going to try and blame U.S and Ukraine if they try to stop this un provoke onslaught by the Russia bear !!

  • 7tom7

    Oops to previous article to make clearer at the other end in Ukraine is to have a port tie into existing Ukraine pipelines to Western Europe!!

  • 7tom7

    P.S New England needs a pipeline to be connected to the Natural Gas resources instead dependance only on LNG tankers , this would help New England and help us supplies our allies from the choking actions of Russia,China,Muslim world into submission . Plus this pipeline will give these warring nations less money to make war and help get our nation out of debt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe use Boston existing distribution pipeline routes for a dual purpose connection to natural gas resources as a route to feed the Boston LNG terminal !!

  • 7tom7

    Question why not obama deploying some of our stealth jets fighters in the region or Ukraine so we have complete control of the air to aid Ukraine army in repelling Russia army from Ukraine sovereign territory ??????? I believe obama just station some F15 in the area as token assets just for show that he doing something a obama ruse on U.S citizens and the world !! Instead of putting some real muscle in the area of stealth fighters jets that can take control of the air space over Ukraine in a very very short period of time ,that Russia would be afraid to put up any aircraft ,helicopters or fire a anti-aircraft missile over the border !!! ???????????????? The only draw back that air bases should have a Patriot missile defense system set up in case Russia launch a missile attack on air bases in hoping they get the right staging air bases to knock out our stealth fighters on the ground !!!!

  • Anonymous

    We seriously don’t need to get involved in this mess. If we do, guarantee obama will screw things up and make it worse…as usual. Most people don’t even understand the full history of that area. Look at the mess in Kosovo. We have been consistently on the wrong side of things. Enough.

  • 7tom7

    I believe your right in some ways ,but I don’t think obama screw things up because he is stupid no one can be this stupid ,this is obama set up of U.S and the western free world is on purpose by obama that put U.S and the free world in a check-mate position which he hope there is no way out !! Our President don’t care , at who hand that does the job of bringing down the U.S and Free western world , Russia ,China, North Korea ,Iran, terrorist fractions then be converted to a Maxists communists rule or radical Muslims rule , I believe this obama main objective to him is to bring down the evil western world culture and free nations of western world which encludes U.S !!!! P.S I hate war or hot conflict too, but we must face this evil or cancer or it will spread and stopping it at a later time for our own survival be at much greater cost of human lives and freedoms plus if we let these evil forces over take our allies of free western nations one by one we be standing alone against this gang of evil goons !!!. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Forest Black

    The collectivist tendencies imported by Stuart Chase are, in all essentials, the German definition of socialism offered by Werner Sombart when he described socialism as a regulated, planned, and controlled system.