Did you remember to deduct your clarinet lessons from your tax return?

In case you needed further proof that United States tax code is in desperate need of reform, Glenn, Pat, and Stu ran through some of the wackiest tax deductions on this morning’s radio program. From clarinet lessons to abortions (?!), it’s hard to believe some of the bizarre things that qualify for a deduction.

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“Hey, I didn’t know this until yesterday, and it was too late because I already filed my income taxes,” Glenn said. “Did you quite write off your abortions this year?”

“You don’t have to have the abortion to write it off,” Stu added. “You just have to pay for the abortion to write it off.”

According to the Washington Examiner’s “13 tax deductions you never knew existed,” women who have had an abortion qualify for a deduction. So much for the promise that the federal government will not fund abortion…

Furthermore, birth control pills can be deducted if prescribed by a doctor, as can pregnancy test kits and vasectomies.

On the animal front, the Examiner points out that “pet moving,” “fostering a pet,” and “guard dogs and service animals” are all deductible.

But perhaps the most bizarre deduction comes in the form of clarinet lessons, which can apparently help fix little Johnny’s overbite.

“What about the bassoon,” Stu asked.

“No, bassoon is not [a deduction] because that wasn’t lobbied by the orthodontists of America to be a deduction,” Pat explained.

That’s right: Orthodontists actually lobbied the government for the deduction because playing the clarinet helps with the overbite.

“Somebody spent a lot of money to hire a lobbyist to go to Washington to get that as an income tax deduction,” Glenn said. “This is where we’re at.”

Again, this list of deductions is all the evidence you need that the U.S. tax system has serious issues.

“You wonder why we have 80,000 pages of tax code? This is why. I don’t know what it’s going to take… But here we are paying again for abortions on a federal level. And our tax dollars are going to abortions to federally funded abortion,” Pat said exasperatedly. “I mean if you want to have a revolt, how about a tax revolt where we stop the IRS? This is absolute madness. What’s it going to take for Americans to demand a flat tax or the fair tax, go either way. But what we have doesn’t work. It’s just not working.”

Check out the Washington Examiner’s full list of wacky deductions HERE.

Front page image courtesy of the AP

  • Republitards suck

    So Glenn hopefully you were outraged by the billions of deduction corporations use every year.

  • Its me, Bruce

    Billions of deductions, eh? Name 100.

  • Anonymous

    So, does that mean I can write off every single abortion that took place last year since I essentially paid for them with my tax dollars?? How many abortions took place last year?

  • Deckard426

    Does the BLM get to deduct the cost of hobnails they wrecked in their boots, while stomping all over the Bundy family?

  • http://truthofg.blogspot.com/ Connor Davenport

    Name one I say.

  • http://truthofg.blogspot.com/ Connor Davenport

    Well it could be worse the IRS could be running our health care system oh wait they are. Thanks liberals.

  • Paul Behan

    Just laying down and taking the dismantling of our country’s relationship with God without fighting back is ignoring 4,000 years of history in the old testament. We can lay down for them trashing us but not Him.

  • Its me, Bruce

    Ask ‘suck’. He made the assertion.

  • http://truthofg.blogspot.com/ Connor Davenport

    I would but that would be a waste of time. He is one of those the lights are on but no one is home type of guy so I figured I should ask someone with a brain. :)

  • Nesta Callahan

    Why are you so surprised by the fact that Mr. Obama (Barry Soetero) is ALLOWING Contraception and Abortion in the Income tax laws? In Mr. Obama’s mind, Abortion is NOT wrong. In fact He has already stated that if HIS daughter came to him and said that she was pregnant he would take her to the nearest clinic. The thing is that Mr. Barry used DRUGS that mess with one’s mind. You know that DRUG users, lose some of their I.Q. each time that they take their puff on that old M.J. cigarette! I was a Psych Tech in a well known Hospital and they had several “clients” in the Hospital that were in there because they just couldn’t cope in the world anymore and they had been Users of the Drug Marijuana among the uses of all of the other Stuff out there in this lovely world of ours.

  • Paul Behan

    Dear republitards,
    Greed is everywhere, including major corporations. But no less greedy are people cheating the system who can work but don’t, who claim disabilities falsely, who believe they are entitled to their neighbor’s money because they have less than he does. Don’t you agree?

  • Mike Nelson

    THat would be an awesome form of mass civil obedience!

  • Tj

    1. Rent
    2. Certain taxes
    3. Legal and professional fees
    4. Bad debts
    5. Interest
    6. Insurance
    7. Advertising
    8. Employee expenses
    9. Donations to business organizations
    10. Educational expenses
    11. Licenses and regulatory fees
    12. Pension plans

    There are 12 for ya…

  • Shawn Speckman

    I had to look it up to believe it. Tax deduction for having an abortion. SMH… http://www.irs.gov/publications/p502/ar02.html#en_US_2013_publink1000178887

  • Scotty

    I don’t like the IRS just as much as the next guy, but congress is to blame for enacting tax law. That being said, there are a few fallacies in the argument. (1) From AGI deductions do not lower your tax liability dollar for dollar, they lower your taxable income, so a deduction only equates to a savings of the deduction times your marginal tax rate. No, the federal government is not “funding” abortions. (2) On abortions, the tax law allows for medical expenses (paid out of pocket) to be deductible only if they exceed 10% of your adjusted gross income. The expense must be proven to be a sizeable portion of your income. (3) I’m confused as to why we care that people are paying less in taxes?

  • Anonymous

    What it will take is a refusal of everyone to file their taxes.

  • Jacob Yorton

    Amend that. Everyone who owes money shouldn’t file. Every year I have been over taxed and get a few thousand dollars back. The government wins if I don’t file. I generally support the idea though. The government works for us, not the other way around. If the federal government were my employee, it would have been fired years ago for incompetence and inefficiency.

  • The truth about spammers

    Paul, “Republitards suck” is a libtard. He’s one of those leftist idiots who think it’s OK for Obama to lie to your face and take your money.

    Obama put the burden of his healthcare takeover on the backs of the middle class.

    Obama is a liar and all his cult members thinks that’s just fine.

  • The truth about spammers

    No specifics? You’d be audited.

  • Anonymous

    OBAMA ABORTION —- IF AMERICA COULD GO BACK IN TIME —- ABORTION OBAMA THE WORLD WOULD BE FIT TO LIVE IN. — TIME TRAVEL BACK TO HIS KENYA BIRTH — THEN COME BACK TO 2014 AND IF HE HAD BEEN ABORTED TODAY AMERICA WOULD STILL BE GREAT — WHAT IF OBAMA WAS NEVER BORN?

  • http://www.thecontract.us scotthudson

    Everyone needs to read The Contract On The Government. It is the book the politicians and bureaucrats DO NOT want you reading. Find out more at this website: http://www.thecontract.us/

  • Anonymous

    Then, instead of paying someone to figure your taxes, figure out how much you will owe “next” April 15th, or should be getting back, then adjust your W4 form accordingly, to reach a “zero sum game” next April, where you don’t owe, nor are you due a refund! Any tax preparer worth half his salt can figure that out for you in about 10 minutes!

  • Anonymous

    1.21 million

  • Anonymous

    They ARE your employee

  • RetroG

    Senator Obama opposed medical care for babies that survived botched abortions because it might lead to restrictions to abortions. Better they died for the cause in his view.

  • Anonymous

    By the government’s reckoning, abortion is a “medical procedure” and is therefore a deductible medical expense. Good luck taking any medical deductions, though, because they have to be more than 10% of your adjusted gross income to count.

  • Anonymous

    on a daily basis 24/7 equates to about 3,500 genocides per day. Imagine, when the government starts loading Americans onto buses for Fema concentration – education camps. You think the government will have any problems killing you. If the government doesn’t care about allowing 3,500 babies to be killed every day in America, what makes you any different? Afterall, you are just a bag of bones too.

    If you believe the lies about those camps, then why are there no fly overs, no press inspections, closed completely for any scrutiny and they are manned.

    Obama admitted they exist

    http://youtu.be/moCCixXV_Bc

    If you don’t believe in these camps, maybe you should go to youtube and search on fema camps or words to that effect. You will be astonished, especially if you weren’t aware they exist. They even have rail cars with shackles built and prepared. Hmmmmm

  • Jean Fetzer

    guard dogs??? maybe i should have claimed my pitbull, which would guard our house by licking you to death…

  • Paul Behan

    The Pied Piper & the Sheeple.

  • Jocelyn Long

    I have written letters to my congress man and woman and the President to eliminate the IRS. I get the standard answers about reform. Don’t waste our time with reform!! Obama never responded…of course and didn’t expect a response. I’m sure he doesn’t read our letters because he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.

  • Jocelyn Long

    WTH are saying about Republicans? What you just said is our mantra…people and corporations raiding the coffers. You need to stop listening to the libtards.

  • AZ BOB

    Have you asked your Church leader, priest, etc Why they have not combined all the religions to get there congregations to fight this, oops I forgot they may loose there “no tax” status!!!!

  • Laura Elliott Johnson

    You’re not saying those deductions are only for corporations, are you? Because I’m in trouble–I, a middle class American, just used several of those on my taxes. I, for one, am glad corporations have tax breaks–otherwise, they’d be slammed so hard, we’d all feel it even more.

  • Teresa Myers-Martin

    Pet moving YES! they are a part of the family and it is expensive to move them! Just like you wouldn’t dream of moving without your kids, I wouldn’t have dreamed of moving without my furry kids!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Outragous !

  • http://suzeraining.wordpress.com/ suz

    the arbitrary administration.

  • Rob

    What makes you think you paid for every abortion?

    I guess you think that people who pay cash or use their private insurance came out of your pocket too?

    I guess you would rather pay for 18 years of welfare and medicaid?

  • Rob

    Really, you think the IRS runs Obamacare?

    It’s insurance companies and doctors that run your health care.

  • Rob

    You are going to over tax his tiny brain. No pun intended.

  • Rob

    That’s right, people just walk into the social security administration and falsely claim they are disabled.

    You know to be declared disabled you have to have doctors document your disability. It then must be approved by a judge or special panel.

  • Rob

    Maybe you would be better served by using as many deductions as possible on your next tax return?

    I guess you think less deductions will help you?

    These deduction mentioned really amount to nothing but a few dollars.

  • Rob

    It’s nothing but a hoax.

  • Rob

    Medical procedures and prescription medications have always been deductible.

    Pot does not reduce your IQ. It’s basically benign.

    I suggest you read the current medical literature and purge that old propaganda from the 1960′s.

  • Rob

    Not all interest is deductible.

    Not all insurance is deductible.

    Not all legal fees are deductible

    Not all pension plans are deductible.

    Donations to a business is not deductible. Why would anyone donate money to a business?

    You don’t seem to know the difference between an individual deduction and a business related deduction.

  • IT IT IT 111

    “WHY is ANY nation on earth???
    ————least of ALLL the US,
    ——————–RENTING ITS MONEY?
    ——-FAKE! – - -MONEY!
    ————-from unaccountable,
    ——————unmonitored,
    ————————-intergenerational,
    ——————————–sovereignty subverting,
    ————————————–EUGENICS mongering
    ————————–PRIVATE!
    ————————————FOREIGN USURERS??????”
    Informed Radio
    CANADA
    2013

    WHY ISN’T BECK ASKING? —-RELENTLESSLY????

    HAS he EVER once laid out in an unflinching manner
    the nature, practice, horrific legacy and ghastly agendas
    behind globalist USURY?

    HAS he EVER even USED the WORD? –not to our knowledge.

    TAKE HEED! —-franchise slum ‘EYE CONS’, at the end of the day,
    ———–are worshipping things as they ARE,
    ——————which is WHY things REMAIN! as they ARE!
    ——————————INTOLERABLE and TYRANNICAL.

  • Anonymous

    My apologies. I should have been more specific in saying that all abortions done at facilities that take tax payer dollars are ones that I should be able to deduct from my taxes, which is millions per year. Yes. My taxes go to these facilities, which means that I am paying for those abortions.
    As for your second question, YES! I would prefer to pay 18 years for welfare and Medicaid than to loose a life of someone who is not given a choice to live or die. Someone else is making that choice for them. What would be preferable is to have society to teach young women that abortions are not to be used as birth control. Trust me, I’m a woman, that is what they are teaching them.There are other options for birth control that are readily available in your corner drug store. If women of all ages were educated as to what exactly is growing in their body before they jumped on the table to get rid of it, there would be fewer abortions. The best option is for women to keep their legs shut.
    Maybe men also need to see a sonogram before an abortion takes place to show them the human being that is growing in the woman’s body. Maybe you would have a different opinion if you saw the little heart beating.

  • Deckard426

    I always leave my 1040 out in the pig sty for a couple of weeks before mailing it in. That way the feds know it really came from me.

  • Anti Fabian

    The tax code does not need reform. It needs elimination, followed by a return to the fairest tax system ever devised by our founders in the Constitution, which is this: If congress passes a bill, and the Senate passes it, and then the President signs it, then a new bill to fund the first bill is to be passed and once signed by the President, each state in the union will then be required to pay their fair share of the tax to fund the bill based on the size of their population, and each state legislature can determine how their state will raise the funds to pay the tax to fund their share of the bill passed by congress. East citizen of the state elects their own legislators, so essentially, they are in charge of determining how they will pay taxes for their state to the Federal Government. This is a very, very fair system and has not been used since passage of Amendment 16 which essentially allows congress to tax any one any where at any time and any way they want too. If you want to verify what I am saying here, go read the Constitution and see for yourself. Pay attention in particular to Article 1, section 2.3, 8.1, & 9.4-5. Taxes are to be apportioned and uniform. What I described above is how that is done. We do not need to reform the tax code or create a new fair tax, etc. What we really need to do is eliminate the IRS and return to that original system set up by our founders.

  • Anonymous

    California law provides an income
    exclusion for settlement payments received by an eligible individual,
    defined as an Armenian person persecuted by the Regime that was in control of the
    Ottoman Turkish Empire from 1915 until 1923, or the individual’s heirs
    or estate. Yep, a tax break for victims (and their heirs) of the Turkish genocide of Armenians 100 years ago. Only in America.

  • http://truthofg.blogspot.com/ Connor Davenport

    Um yeah because that is what the law says.

  • Rob

    Why should you be able to write off all the tax payer dollars that go towards abortions?

    How much of your own personal monies do you think were actually used?

    You only get to write off what you actually paid into.

    BTW, the Hyde Amendment is a legislative provision barring the use of certain federal funds to pay for abortions with exceptions for incest and rape.

    Regarding second question: This is hilarious. You stated you would prefer to pay 18 years of welfare and medicaid than lose a life of someone who is not given a choice to live or die.

    You stated and I quote: “Someone else is making that choice for them”

    Einstein, What do you think you are trying to do? You are trying to make decisions for other people.

    As a woman you should know that over 62,000,000 women in the US use some form of contraceptives. The failure rate of contraceptives when used perfectly is anywhere from .3% to 18%.

    Do the math.

    The average human being is not perfect and the failure rate of contraceptives is from 2% to 28%.

    Do the math.

    Conservatives have done everything possible to limit the availability of contraceptives to those who are undeserved.

    You have exactly zero critical thinking skills.

  • Rob

    If they are used in the course of a business it would be a business expense. You cannot just write off a guard dog.

    What ignorance.

  • Rob

    Many times people have many medical procedures and the write offs are accumulative.

    For instance:

    1. Dental fees

    2. Abortion.

    3. Foot surgery

    You get the idea?

  • Rob

    You can also write of dental procedures.

    You can write of breast implants if you can show it’s related to your occupation.

    Do you not know how taxes work?

  • Rob

    Settlement payments are not earned income and are never taxable.

    Private disability payments are also not taxable.

    Awards for pain and suffering are not taxable.

  • Rob

    The bible is a pile of garbage written and forged by man. There are hundreds of inconsistencies and contradictions.

    And the earth is only ten thousand years old and dinosaurs were put on earth by Satan to fool man. What idiot believes this crap?

    It would seem that a omnipotent being would have done some editing .

  • Rob

    The law does not say that the IRS runs your healthcare. It says the IRS can fine you for not paying into the system that helps finance insurance that runs your health care.

    Do you think that your employer runs your health care or is it the insurance company that your employer pays into that runs your health care?

    Please use some logic.

  • Paul Behan

    Show me where the bible says the earth is only 10,000 years old and that dinosaurs were put here by Satan? Also “the bible is filled with hundreds of inconsistencies” Really? Hundreds? Sounds like you have documentation. Back up your assertions, or I suggest you be careful who you decide to publicly dis.

  • Paul Behan

    You’re conflating God and religion. They’re not synonymous. In fact God’s main beef is with those religious leaders.

  • Paul Behan

    Right Rob and the explosion in disability claimants is due to….?

  • Rob

    Some “Christian” Fundamentalists and Creationists believe that the earth itself is only 6-10,000 years old. This conclusion by them is based on Bible genealogy and interpreting the ‘days’ mentioned in Genesis.

    Because dinosaurs are not mentioned in the bible some Christians believe it is a hoax designed by Satan.

    As you know many Christians do not believe in science like carbon dating. The link I used to this site was provided by such a nut case who believes the earth is only 6,000 years old.

    This is a quote from a fundi Christian site:

    “Did Satan put dinosaur bones in the earth to deceive modern people or did God put them into the earth to test our faith?”

    Google dinosaurs and satin and you will see it’s a common belief among Christians.

  • Rob

    1. Increase in the age of the population.

    2. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    3. Safety nets like workers compensation cutting benefits.

    4. The economy.

  • Paul Behan

    It only counts the amount of time from Adam. Where does it say Adam was the first human? In fact it says his son Cain left Eden and went to Nod and married there.
    Uninformed sincere Christians believing something has no bearing on what really happened and no bearing on what is written.
    Why mock God for what the uniformed believe?
    It’s not going to be their fault if we blow it.

  • Rob

    The earth was here long before Adam was. I don’t believe that silly Adam story either. It’s nothing but a fairy tale.

    Carbon dating proved the earth is around 4.5 billion years old, not 6 thousand.

  • Rob

    The bible says that god created man on the 6th day.

    The earth is 4.5 billion years old.

    The oldest human DNA found is 400,000 years old.

    The oldest hominine species ever found lived 7 million years old.

    How could the apostles be writing about something that happened millions of years before they existed?

    This is just one scenario, there are dozens more.

    Biblically, Adam and Eve are supposedly about 10,000 years old. So, how long is a day according to god?

    Or are we dealing with another biblical contradiction?

  • Paul Behan

    Right. The earth is 4/5 billion years old. So what does that have to do with when Adam came along?

    If Jesus is called The Tree Of Life, then who do you suppose is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? And what REALLY happened there? It sure wasn’t about eating an apple….open your eyes, Rob.

  • Paul Behan

    What some “fundis” believe has no effect on what is true our false.

  • Rob

    They have nothing in common just like Adam and Eve have nothing to do with reality. It’s a fairy tale. My point is that many Christians believe the earth is no more than 10,000 years old.

    Try to stay on topic.

  • Paul Behan

    Stick to topics like abortion Rob …things you do believe in….. Kenite?

  • Rob

    That wasn’t the topic.

  • Rob

    Babies do not survive abortions, that would defeat the purpose of an abortion.

  • Anonymous

    Hey Rob
    Why should the gov’t be allowed to give even a tax break for an abortion?
    Furthermore, that individual made a decision to open their legs in the first place. Now the result of their decision to engage in instant gratification has resulted in the life of another human being snuffed out. All in the name of convenience. You actually support that don’t you? It is murder no matter how you look at it.

  • Dopple Gang

    Harry Reid needs to stop acting like a spoiled child and he needs to stop obstructing.

  • Rob

    Why, because it’s a medical procedure and medical costs are deductible.

    Furthermore, people choose to smoke, eat red meat and engage in other risky behaviors which also result in medical costs that are deductible.

    Why should the government restrict deductions based on your religious beliefs? Your arrogance is epic.

    In addition, there is what is called separation of church and state.

    Christianity is the most hateful controlling entity on the planet. I see no difference between you and the Taliban.

    It’s not murder to me. As stated in the bible, which is a book of fairy tales, life begins with the first breath.

  • Anonymous

    That is what I think about everything you have written;
    What ignorance!

  • Rob

    Corporations are more profitable today than they have been in history of this country, yet workers salaries are stagnant and have not kept up with inflation.

    You are going to get slammed anyway.

  • Rob

    Evidently you are uneducated.