Glenn talks to comedian Jeff Allen on radio

Transcript of the interview is below:

GLENN: Anyway, so last night my wife and my daughter who doesn't find anybody funny because she grew up around me and I've kind of wrecked it for her, she went to Restoring Love and she saw Jeff Allen and she came back and she said to me, "Dad, have you seen him?" And I said, "No, I just keep hearing he's really funny." And she said, "He is so funny. Dad, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe." Now, she's a 20‑something. My wife says the same thing. Tears are coming out of my eyes, he's so funny. Then we went up to Freedom Works in Cincinnati and we sat there and we watched behind stage and he is just hysterical. And here's the amazing thing: He's on our side. That doesn't happen. He's on our side. And so I've invited him in for this week and he's going to be with us on election night and he's with us now. Hi, Jeff, how are you, sir?

ALLEN: Good morning, guys. I've got to tell you every time I make my wife sit down and watch something I do, she says, I'd rather have a spinal tap.

STU: Spinal taps could be enjoyable.

PAT: Once in a while.

ALLEN: It has its moments.

GLENN: My wife, my wife would give it to herself. She would just say, I'm just going to take a knife and I'm going to put it in the doorjamb and I'm going to back into it for the spinal tap.

ALLEN: (Laughing.)

GLENN: You ‑‑ you weren't always conservative, or were you?

ALLEN: No. I grew up in Chicago. My father was a union guy. So politics was pretty simple: You vote Democrat or I'm tearing up your birth certificate.

GLENN: Right.

ALLEN: It's either vote for the Dems or be disowned.

GLENN: Right. And what happened to you?

ALLEN: Well, I'll tell you a quick story. I realized I was an idiot back in the...

GLENN: (Laughing.)

ALLEN: In the mid‑80s, somebody in New York ‑‑ I was working in New York in the clubs at Catch a Rising Star, some guy referred to Ronald Reagan as a capitalistic swine and there came a point on my way home I didn't realize what the word "capitalist" meant. So I looked it up and that little voice that God gives us says, "Man, you're an idiot. You make your living with words and you don't even know what a basic word means." And when I read what the word "capitalist" meant, I thought, gee, what's wrong with that, you know? I didn't understand why that was a bad thing to be associated with swine.

GLENN: And so you started to look into what things were and then you went out ‑‑ you went out and started revealing this to people?

ALLEN: Right, exactly, at a comedy club.

GLENN: That wasn't really a smart idea.

ALLEN: Not at all. And I have all the tact of a bull in a China some. So...

GLENN: Why do you suppose that you can't be cool and conservative? Why is that?

ALLEN: Well, it's a narrative. And if you don't fit the narrative, they've got to shut the narrative down. I believe that. So... and this was long before I was, you know, I became a person of faith. But ‑‑ so I don't know. It was interesting to me. I had a guy, I was telling somebody once, I was really miserable. I was at a twelve‑step convention or something and I'm six or seven years in the program and ‑‑

GLENN: Convention? I didn't know they had conventions.

ALLEN: Well, they had them. A bunch of drunks get together.

STU: It's just called a keg party. That's all that is.

GLENN: Yeah, doesn't sound like a good idea. "Hey, let's all go out of town!"

STU: Vegas!

GLENN: "Let's go to some bars and some hookers!"

ALLEN: My last night of drinking I was in front of Graceland in and Memphis screaming for the king.

STU: Really?

ALLEN: And some guard comes out and says, "You'll have to leave. You have to wait for the morning." And I was like, "I was just wondering if Elvis left any Valium under the bushes. I'm a little jacked right now and I can't get to sleep."

GLENN: Really not good.

ALLEN: No.

GLENN: But then you stumbled on to us and you've been a fan of, like, More‑On Trivia and ‑‑

ALLEN: Oh, my God, I'm so glad you brought it back. It's so nice to sit at home and feel so good about myself. I used to work in a mini‑mart. So I mean, I have an empathy for that, you know.

GLENN: How is that ‑‑ how did that work out for you?

ALLEN: Well, I worked the graveyard shift and I was manager. I want you to know that.

PAT: Wow. So impressive.

GLENN: You were just more than a shelf replenisher.

ALLEN: I was impressed until I got to work and found out I was the only guy there. I had to fire myself. I caught myself stealing a few times. What was interesting was because it was late at night, you get thighs guys that would come in and take you out of your meditative trance.

GLENN: Right.

ALLEN: You know, why am I such a loser and why am I worth where it's at. And they go, "Hey, where are you keeping the SpaghettiO's. Why don't you and your friends get together and figure it out on your own. So then you get ‑‑ they pick the can up and start walking to the microwave and you would say, no one could be that stupid as to put a can into a microwave and then fire that thing up. Well, you know, the depths of ignorance in America never cease to amaze me. Not only do they turn it on, they put their face up against the glass and admire the sparks. So you've got to figure there's someone three blocks away with a pacemaker pounding their chest like, "God, they're cooking another can again. I hate this neighborhood."

GLENN: How did you ‑‑ how long did you work in a convenience store?

ALLEN: A month.

GLENN: A month? And then where did you go from the convenience store?

ALLEN: Well, I found out it was the most dangerous job in America next to cop. So I just started turning the register around and leaving it open. I'm not dying for the Southland Corporation. You know, that's what used to kill me about the shoplifters. They would put Twinkies in their pants and then walk around crunching, you know, because cellophane's not the quietest material. And they go, "I don't see anything I want. I'll see you guys in the car."

STU: You must feel like you have a high level of cleanliness if you're willing to eat Twinkies out of your pants. That's not something I'd be willing to attempt.

GLENN: I don't know if you're that picky if you're stealing the Twinkies.

STU: No?

GLENN: From the 7‑11 that Jeff is working.

ALLEN: At the price they charge that's actually a felony.

GLENN: So you went in and you cleaned yourself up because you and I have a lot in common.

ALLEN: Yeah.

GLENN: You don't need to say it that way.

ALLEN: Well, yeah, we do. It's so funny listening to your story, say that's me.

GLENN: Yeah.

ALLEN: Say there's a twin.

GLENN: It's amazing how much, you know, I'm just guessing, how much you think you hated the world and then when you sober up, you realize, wow, I just hate me. The world's pretty great. People are pretty great.

ALLEN: Yeah. It was interesting. I had ‑‑ and I'm not dropping names but I had one night where I worked with Seinfeld back before his sitcom at a college and we got stuck talking waiting for our checks. And I was miserable. I mean, you know, so after about an hour he says, "Can I say something to you?" And I go, yeah, please. And he goes, and all your complaints. Believe me, there was a myriad of them, I never heard you complain about how hard you work on your act." He said, "This is a small business. You take care of your craft; the business will take care of you." And I thought that was one of the most profound things I had ever heard. And I go, are you in a twelve‑step program? And he goes, "No, it's common sense."

GLENN: So you were sober at the time?

ALLEN: I was, I was ‑‑ yeah, believe me I was not a poster boy for the twelve‑step program, you know.

GLENN: Right. You were going to the ‑‑ you were going to the ‑‑

ALLEN: I was going to the meetings.

GLENN: The weekend conventions.

ALLEN: They tell me, you lie, you die. So I would raise my hands and go, I don't like you, I don't like you and I don't like you, you know. I'm telling the truth. After about a year and a half, some little old lady comes up to me, sticks her finger in my navel and goes, "You know something, young man? Can I say something to you? Maybe the problem is not your wife."

GLENN: Did you really, I mean, you ‑‑ at one point before you sobered up, because we were talking just a minute ago and I said that my wife watched the show last night and she ‑‑ and you made her laugh. And my favorite thing with Tania, I love taking her to a funny movie. I used to love watching The Office with her because it made her laugh. And so she used to think I was funny. She used to laugh. I don't know if your wife has stopped. Pat's wife gave up on that how many years ago?

PAT: 20.

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: At least 20.

GLENN: Wait a minute. How many have you been married?

PAT: 20 1/2.

GLENN: As soon as ‑‑ I don't know what it is. As soon as you get married, your wife stops thinking you're funny.

ALLEN: Well, that's it and I get the look. That's what I call it, the look. I told you the other day I'm running some jokes by Tammy and I realized two minutes into it, I go, you know what, babe, I'm going to call you back. I'm going to call somebody who appreciates me. But what I love is Pat, every time Pat does Al Gore, she falls out of her chair. And it's interesting because in 2000 when he would come on the TV, she wouldn't say things like, "Oh, I can't stand this guy, I hate..." she would just mute the television. In the middle of a conversation, his voice would come over our TV, she would reach for the remote, mute him, and then start talking to me. And then when he stopped talking, she would unmute the TV. But every time Pat does Gore, she falls out of her chair. So...

GLENN: So wait. Hang on just a second. What I'm learning from the story is your wife wasn't really listening to you.

ALLEN: Not at all.

GLENN: If she's muting the TV, she's like ‑‑ and then turning it back on in the middle of your conversation.

ALLEN: Right. Exactly.

GLENN: She's really just kind of looking your way.

ALLEN: That's it.

GLENN: Yeah.

ALLEN: She's in the room.

GLENN: What does she do?

ALLEN: She shows dogs and...

GLENN: What, are you ‑‑ what, are you like ‑‑

PAT: She shows dogs what? What does she show them?

ALLEN: She's a dog handler.

PAT: Look, dog, here's a bone.

ALLEN: If you've ever seen the movie Best in Show, that's my wife's life.

GLENN: Really?

ALLEN: That's it.

GLENN: So I thought you were poor at one point.

ALLEN: We were. She was making money.

GLENN: No, but I mean that's not something that, like ‑‑ I mean ‑‑

ALLEN: We were poor. My kids ‑‑

GLENN: It's like all of a sudden I'm talking to Ann Romney over here.

ALLEN: My kid came home one day and said, are we poor? I go, no, we're broke, man. There's a big difference. We got stuff. We can't pay for it but we got stuff.

GLENN: All right. Jeff is going to be joining us this week on television I think tomorrow. Aren't we doing a full hour?

ALLEN: I believe so.

GLENN: With you? And he is, he's a guy who ‑‑

ALLEN: That's unless your inbox gets flooded today.

GLENN: But you were a guy who, you didn't pay attention to politics. In fact, I want to come back and just ask you quickly about what you said to the Republicans. Because I think this is ‑‑ I think this is where most Americans are, at least most conservative Americans are on what you said to the Republicans and I think it's so important. But we're going to spend some time with Jeffy because I think he has a ‑‑ I think he has an important role to play in the healing of America and the future of America. If we don't grab onto the culture and we don't find people that our friends and neighbors who may disagree with us don't find, you know, funny. You know, we need people to be able to come into our tent and say, "that guy's really funny." He's conservative? Really? And they start thinking of conservatives differently. That's really all the left has. They've got Jon Stewart. You lose Jon Stewart, you lose the movie, they got nothing. They're nothing but a bunch of killers. That's all that's left. And we've got the truth on our side. We have compassion on our side. We just need some funny people and some people that understand culture and entertainment. And Jeff is one of those guys. But back with him in just a second.

BREAK

GLENN: Back with Jeff Allen and Jeff is ‑‑ I asked him last night if he was a Republican and you said the Republicans have been hounding you for cash and donations.

ALLEN: Well, I made a mistake of sending them money a number of years ago. So I'm on the list. So about the third call this year I said to them, stop calling me. Take me off the list. I said, you blew it. You had eight years and you blew it. So every candidate that I want to send money to has their own website. I can go on the website and I can send them money. I don't need you people to distribute my money. You blew it. So stop calling me.

GLENN: It's really, it's amazing.

PAT: Good.

GLENN: That is ‑‑

PAT: Good.

GLENN: ‑‑ the answer.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: And I think that's the way people are now because we don't need the parties to tell us. We can do our own ‑‑ we can do our own homework now.

ALLEN: Absolutely, you know, and Josh Mandel and Murdoch and all those people have their own websites. So...

GLENN: What do you think's going to, who ‑‑ what do you think's going to happen Tuesday?

ALLEN: I'm with you. I really think that there's a grassroots move ‑‑ they have no clue.

GLENN: They have no clue what's coming.

ALLEN: It's a tsunami. You look at 2010. They didn't see that coming.

GLENN: Are you ‑‑ are you fasting?

ALLEN: I am, yeah.

GLENN: Are you really?

ALLEN: I said, we had the con ‑‑ I said I just want to know when it ends. Does it end on Tuesday or do I have to wait until Wednesday because ‑‑

GLENN: Oh, no, it ends Tuesday.

PAT: Tuesday night.

GLENN: I've decided the first ‑‑ Tuesday night?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: The first poll ‑‑

PAT: Well, I think when the polls close, right?

GLENN: The first poll that closes.

ALLEN: Good.

STU: Pat's been saying when the polls close in Texas.

PAT: Several times. Yeah, several times.

ALLEN: Well, I'm coming in a Cinnabon neck lace, I just want you to know.

GLENN: You got the Central part of the country. You really only have to fast for ‑‑ you got the Central. You know you're going to lose the West. So you don't have to worry about that one. You know you got the Central. God doesn't need to work any miracles. His miracles all need to be in Ohio and Florida and ‑‑

STU: Because Nevada's not an important state at all. No, no.

GLENN: There's casinos in there. God hasn't looked at Nevada for years.

STU: Be interested to hear about that.

Democrat Mutiny? These prominent Progressives and Democratic leaders DEMAND that Biden withdraw

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Biden is still taking hard blows from both sides of the aisle after his abysmal performance in last month's presidential debate. As Glenn pointed out in his post-debate coverage, Biden came across as so incompetent that it has made many Americans scared that, should the country face a major threat, Biden would be unable to respond to it. This includes many Democrats, who are finally admitting that Biden isn't as fit as they have been claiming for the last four years.

Many names have already been suggested as potential replacements for the Democratic nominee, but many people, including some Democrats, don't believe Biden should even stay in office for the election. Here are some prominent progressives and Democratic lawmakers who have called for President Biden's resignation:

Rep. Lloyd Doggett (Texas)

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Rep. Raúl Grijalva (Arizona)

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Rep. Seth Moulton (Massachusetts)

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Rep. Mike Quigley (Illinois)

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Rep. Angie Craig (Minnesota)

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Rep. Adam Smith (Washington)

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Rep. Mikie Sherrill (New Jersey)

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Rep. Pat Ryan (New York)

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Rep. Hillary Scholten (Michigan)

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Senator Peter Welch (Vermont)

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Rep. Earl Blumenauer (Oregon)

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BONUS: Actor George Clooney

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These TOP 5 new technologies left Glenn SHOCKED

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Glenn has been covering some of the most groundbreaking, exciting, and often terrifying technological advances. Some new tech has the potential to make a positive impact. Some tech is just SUPER cool, like a flame-throwing robot dog. However, there is also a dark side to technology. Glenn exposes how some new technological developments, particularly in the realm of AI, pose serious ethical questions.

Here are the top five new technologies that Glenn covered that will make your jaw drop:

Anti-gravity device

This new technology developed by Dr. Charles Buhler and his team may change everything we know about transportation and travel. Described as "propellant-less propulsion" by Dr. Buhler, this technology appears to defy gravity and is potentially a way for people to travel into and through space without the need for rockets. It doesn't stop there either, this tech could be used to forever change the way we travel here on Earth.

Human embryo-powered supercomputer

To have massively powerful AI, something, which many people seem to have an invested interest in, you need a lot of electricity to power the computers that host the artificial intelligences. Naturally, this energy consumption upsets the environmentalists so in response a terrifying solution was developed. Bio Processors are essentially computer chips powered by human cells, specifically stem cells, which are predominantly harvested from embryos. These Bio Processors have a limited shelf life, meaning they need a steady supply of stem cells to keep the computers that use them operational. What could be more terrifying than an AI that eats human cells?

Voice-stealing AI

When ChatGPT came out in late 2022 its power and versatility took the world by storm. Suddenly, students had it write entire essays in mere seconds, and it was creating songs and poems with ease. The capabilities of the ChatGPT AI were as disturbing as they were impressive, but after a recent update, it took a hard turn towards disturbing. OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, decided to give the program a voice and tried to recruit famous actress Scarlett Johansson to lend her voice to the machine. After she declined the offer, OpenAI went ahead and released the update for ChatGPT featuring a voice that sounded eerily similar to Johansson's. While OpenAI claims it's a different, similar-sounding voice actress, the idea that a computer is going around with your stolen voice is terrifying.

Flamethrower robot dog

How could you possibly ever make something cooler than a flamethrower? Simple, strap it to the back of a robotic dog of course! Originally built to help fight forest fires (ironically enough) by creating backburns, Glenn pointed out that a pack of these bad boys patrolling your property would be the ultimate home defense. Nobody would come anywhere near your house if it was guarded by a few of these firey companions.

Wormhole-generating UFO's

It's been a decade since the tragic disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. No trace of the aircraft or any of its passengers, except a few small pieces of debris, were ever found nor was an official cause of the disappearance ever given. There have been an infinite number of theories explaining what might have happened, but this one from investigative journalist Ashton Forbes might take the cake for the wildest. Forbes joined Glenn on his radio show and brought with him convincing video evidence that seemed to show the now-missing aircraft being circled by three mysterious orbs before suddenly disappearing in a flash of light. Does this video show the doomed aircraft being sucked into an artificial wormhole, or is it an amazing piece of hoaxwork?

THESE TOP 10 Founding Fathers' quotes help us remember America's original vision

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Independence Day is one of the few days when Americans come together to celebrate our country and the continued vision that our Founding Fathers crafted in 1776. But what is that vision? It seems with every passing July 4th, Americans lose even more of a sense of what the original intent of our nation was supposed to be. It's becoming increasingly important to read the Founding Fathers in their own words and to remember the vision that they cast for our nation. Here are our TOP 10 favorite Founding Fathers' quotes to help us remember their original views of government, freedom, and the American vision.

"The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty." —James Madison

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"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." —Benjamin Franklin

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"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." —George Washington

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"The people are the only legitimate fountain of power." —James Madison

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"I agree with you that it is the duty of every good citizen to use all the opportunities, which occur to him, for preserving documents relating to the history of our country." —Thomas Jefferson

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“Human passions unbridled by morality and religion… would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net.” —John Adams

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"Those who stand for nothing will fall for everything." —Alexander Hamilton

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“The essence of Government is power; and power, lodged as it must be in human hands, will ever be liable to abuse.” —James Madison

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"I fear that in every elected office, members will obtain an influence by noise, not by sense. By meanness, not greatness. By ignorance, not learning. By contracted hearts, not large souls. There must be decency and respect." —John Adams

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“We must go home to be happy, and our home is not in this world. Here we have nothing to do but our duty.” —John Jay

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We live in a dark time, so it is more important now than ever to make sure you are anchored to the truth.

Glenn was recently on the “Chicks on the Right” podcast for a follow-up interview after Amy Jo Clark and Miriam Weaver joined Glenn on his podcast back in March. The three dove into a lively discussion that touched on several things happening in Glenn's personal life, and Glenn delved into the importance of truth in our increasingly Orwellian society.

Glenn told the “Chicks” about his upcoming first novel for young adults, Chasing Embers, which is set in a dystopian world where the wildest WEF fantasies have come true and history has been completely rewritten. Glenn revealed that he was inspired to write the book while reading Karl Marx. He reflected on how Karl Marx was, and still is in many cases, considered this articulate revolutionary, but when compared to the words of the Founding Fathers, his articulation and arguments pale in comparison. He wanted to explore the idea, "What if Jefferson was the revolutionary again, not Marx?" Chasing Embers asks how we preserve the philosophies of the founders and the values of the Constitution so that our children have a chance to discover it if the world turns completely upside down.

Glenn also discussed how important it is to learn history, to anchor yourself in truth, God, and the Constitution, and our responsibility to preserve them in the face of the dystopian movement that is increasingly encroaching on Western civilization. Glenn described the country as "suicidal" and posited whether we can rein in a nation that is hurdling itself towards the brink. He said we can do our part to help, but unless the country decides it wants to live, it will die. We have to be prepared to endure such a scenario with our morals intact and the necessary knowledge to rebuild on hand.

Towards the end of the conversation, Glenn revealed some of the lessons he's learned in his decades on radio. He said that you have to know yourself--both the good and bad--be ready to defend your beliefs, and admit when you are wrong.

This is a podcast you won't want to miss. Click here to listen to the FULL discussion.