America has long prided itself on being the fattest nation on the planet. We love our fatty foods and ability to pound back grotesque amounts of food. Yet despite the best efforts of America's rotund (like Jeff Fisher) to keep us #1, we've been dethroned… by Mexico.
“We have lost our place as the number one nation on Earth,” Pat lamented. “We lost the title of being number one in a lot of things, but this I thought we'd hang onto for a while. I really thought we would forever be the fattest nation on Earth.”
And the reason for the surge in Mexican weight gain?
“Modern Mexicans’ urban lifestyle, rising incomes and myriad consumption vices have fed a seemingly endless struggle that’s killing thousands more of them each year,” Dudley Althaus writes for Global Post.
“Even as nearly half its people are poor and as officials launch a national anti-hunger campaign, Mexico by some accounts recently has replaced the United States as the chubbiest of the globe’s larger countries,” the report adds.
“Diabetes and cardiovascular ills spike, plus sizes cram clothing racks and Mexicans keep eating, eating, eating.”
“It's sad, and it might be your fault, Jeffy. Might be your fault,” Pat said.
We have all watched Jeffy’s dramatic weight loss over the past year, and now it seems his quest to get in shape may have cost America’s its title.
“Yeah, if you know Jeffy, Jeffy was potentially, I mean, would you say, Jeffy, do you know, the fattest man on Earth,” Stu explained. “But then he lost over 100 pounds, and I believe that's the difference. When you do the average, that's the difference between us and Mexico now.”
Beyond Jeffy’s obvious culpability, Stu had another theory as to why Mexico was able to take the crown – their delicious native cuisine.
“But I have to say when you look at Mexico and I mean, I don't know. I assume, you know, Mexicans actually eat Mexican food typically in Mexico,” Stu said. “And I know when I eat Mexican food, I eat 5,000 times as much as I do of any other kind of food. Like, I can't go to a Mexican restaurant without eating three weeks' worth of food. It's so good. I love Mexican food. And I've got to say, if I lived in Mexico and had authentic Mexican food available to me all the time, I would weigh 54,000 pounds… So I would be roughly half the size of Jeffy.”
While Stu’s logic makes quite a bit of sense, it looks like America may in fact somehow be to blame for Mexico’s weight gain.
Others blame the U.S. for exporting cheap and unhealthy foods.
“Urban Mexicans wolf down pizza, hamburgers and deep-fried chicken with abandon,” Althaus writes.
“Relatively cheap chips, cookies and sugary soft drinks pack the shelves of the convenience stores and mom-and-pop groceries that are as common here as cacti, even in poor rural towns and villages.”
Regardless of the reason, one thing is certain – American is no longer the fattest country in the world.