Nancy Pelosi: There is nothing left to cut in the budget

On Sunday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) appeared on CNN’s State of the Union with Candy Crowley and called Republicans ‘anti-government ideologues’ looking to shut down the government before declaring there is simply nothing left to cut in the $4-trillion-a-year federal budget.

“Nancy Pelosi, she's always been nuts,” Glenn said on radio this morning. “Listen to what Nancy Pelosi said about making more cuts.”

CROWLEY:  President Clinton, President Bush, President Reagan and this president have all negotiated the debt ceiling and given up something for that.  So why now, we can't do this?

PELOSI:  The cupboard is bare. There’s no more cuts to make. It’s really important that people understand that.

The cupboards are bare? Really, Nancy, have you seen the federal budget lately?

“She is Old Mother Hubbard. And her cupboards are bare,” Glenn joked. “And it's really important, there is no more cuts. Have they made cuts? Can you tell me what cuts they have made? Seriously, have they made a cut? Can you think of cuts that they made?”

“Well, the sequester was a cut on the increase. So think about that,” Stu said. “What she's talking about is definitely the sequester, which was a cut to increase.

“There's no cuts. I don't think they've cut it,” Glenn responded. “I don't think they've cut anything. Sorry, they've cut defense.”

While Rep. Pelosi can’t possibly fathom finding one cent more to cut from the milti-trillion dollar budget, Pat and Stu managed to find a few programs that we could probably afford to lose.

“For instance, can I tell you about studying pig poop,” Pat asked. “It is critical that we continue the Environmental Protection Agency's program of studying pig poop. $1.2 million.”

“Just $1.2 million, that's a bargain,” Stu said. “What about, you got rattlesnakes going through the forest, okay?  Comes up to a squirrel.  How does it react to that squirrel? We need to know that. But more importantly, what if the squirrel is a robot, okay? So snake through the woods, robot squirrel pops up. What happens? What's the interaction like?”

“There's no robot squirrels,” Glenn interjected.

“Oh, no, there is,” Stu insisted. “Because we built one for $325,000 to monitor how the snake would react to the robot squirrel. It's called Robosquirrel. The National Science Foundation grant was used to create a realistic‑looking robotic squirrel for the purpose of studying how a rattlesnake would react to it.”

“Then the cupcake thing, we've got to find out how the cupcake shops are trending.  Are there more cupcake shops? Or are there fewer,” Pat asked. “I want to know, America wants to know, and the politicians want to know. They've received $2 million just to find out.”

"Well, wait a minute. Hang on just a second. If there are more cupcake places," Glenn asked. "May I make a suggestion? May I make a suggestion? You pay some college kids. And you say, go to the library and look for old phone books. And go through the Yellow Pages from ten years ago. And then go through and do a Google search today and find out how many cupcake stores there were ten years ago and how many cupcake stores there are now.”

“That's not going to cost $2 million,” Stu observed.

“What kind of crappy study on cupcakes did you think we were going to do,” Pat joked.

This situation would be hilariously funny, if it weren’t so painfully pathetic.

“This is what happens with America,” Stu concluded. “Like you start off with a critique of a horrible comment by a Democrat, and you just end up talking about cupcakes because it's so frustrating. You get distracted so easily.”

Front page image courtesy of the AP

Science did it again. It only took 270 million years, but this week, scientists finally solved the mystery that has kept the world up at night. We finally know where octopuses come from: outer space. That explains why they look like the aliens in just about every alien movie ever made.

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It turns out octopuses were aliens that evolved on another planet. Scientists haven't determined which one yet, but they've definitely narrowed it down to one of the planets in one of the galaxies. Hundreds of millions of years ago (give or take a hundred), these evolved octopus aliens arrived on Earth in the form of cryopreserved eggs. Now, this part is just speculation, but it's possible their alien planet was on the verge of destruction, so Mom and Dad Octopus self-sacrificially placed Junior in one of these cryopreserved eggs and blasted him off the planet to save their kind.

This alien-octopus research, co-authored by a group of 33 scientists, was published in the Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology journal. I'm sure you keep that on your nightstand like I do.

Anyway, these scientists say octopuses evolved very rapidly over 270 million years. Which sounds slow, but in evolutionary terms, 270 million years is like light speed. And the only explanation for their breakneck evolution is that they're aliens. The report says, “The genome of the Octopus shows a staggering level of complexity with 33,000 protein-coding genes — more than is present in Homo sapiens."

Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

They mention that the octopus' large brain, sophisticated nervous system, camera-like eyes, flexible bodies and ability to change color and shape all point to its alien nature. Octopuses developed those capabilities rather suddenly in evolution, whereas we're still trying to figure out the TV remote.

These biological enhancements are so far ahead of regular evolution that the octopuses must have either time-traveled from the future, or “more realistically" according to scientists, crash-landed on earth in those cryopreserved egg thingies. The report says the eggs arrived here in “icy bolides." I had to look up what a “bolide" is, and turns out it's a fancy word for a meteor.

So, to recap: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien race of octopuses packed their sperm-bank samples in some meteors and shot them toward Earth. Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

President Trump's approval rating is rising, and Democrats — hilariously — can't seem to figure out what's going on. A few months ago Democrats enjoyed a sixteen point lead over Republicans, but now — according to CNN's recent national survey — that lead is down to just THREE points. National data from Reuters shows it as being even worse.

The Democratic advantage moving towards the halfway mark into 2018 shows that Republicans are only ONE point behind. The president's public approval rating is rising, and Democrats are nervously looking at each other like… “umm guys, what are we doing wrong here?"

I'm going to give Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi a little hint. We know that the Left has enjoyed a “special relationship" with the media, but they might want to have a sit down with their propaganda machine. The mainstream media is completely out of control, and Americans are sick of it. We're DONE with the media.

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Look what has been going on just this week. The president called MS-13 gang members animals, but that's not the story the media jumped on. They thought it was more clickable to say that Trump was calling all immigrants animals instead. In the Middle East, the media rushed to vilify Israel instead of Hamas. They chose to defend a terror organization rather than one of our oldest allies.

Think about that. The media is so anti-Trump that they've chosen a violent street gang AND A GLOBAL TERROR ORGANIZATION as their torch-bearing heroes. Come on, Democrats. Are you seriously baffled why the American people are turning their backs on you?

Still not enough evidence? Here's the New York Times just yesterday. Charles Blow wrote a piece called "A Blue Wave of Moral Restoration" where he tried to make the case that the president and Republicans were the enemy, but — fear not — Democrat morality was here to save the day.

Here are some of these cases Blow tries to make for why Trump is unfit to be President:

No person who treats women the way Trump does and brags on tape about sexually assaulting them should be president.

Ok, fine. You can make that argument if you want to, but why weren't you making this same argument for Bill Clinton? Never mind, I actually know the reason. Because you were too busy trying to bury the Juanita Broaddrick story.

Let's move on:

No person who has demonstrated himself to be a pathological liar should be president.

Do the words, “You can keep your doctor" mean anything to the New York Times or Charles Blow? I might have saved the best for last:

No person enveloped by a cloud of corruption should be president.

I can only think of three words for a response to this: Hillary Frigging Clinton.

Try displaying a little consistency.

If the media really wants Donald Trump gone and the Democrats to take over, they might want to try displaying a little consistency. But hey, maybe that's just too much to ask.

How about starting with not glorifying terrorist organizations and murderous street gangs. Could we at least begin there?

If not… good luck in the midterms.

In the weeks following President Trump's decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital, the mainstream media was quick to criticize the president's pro-Israel stance and make dire predictions of violent backlash in the Middle East. Fast forward to this week's opening of the US Embassy in Jerusalem and the simultaneous Palestinian “protests" in Gaza.

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Predictably, the mainstream media chastised Israel for what they called “state-sanctioned terrorism" when the IDF stepped in to protect their country from so-called peaceful Palestinian protesters. Hamas leaders later admitted that at least 50 of the 62 Palestinians killed in the clashes were Hamas terrorists.

“In our post-modern media age, there is no truth and nobody even seems to be looking for it …. This is shamefully clear in the media especially this week with their coverage of the conflict between the border of Israel and the Gaza strip," said Glenn on today's show. He added, “The main media narrative this week is about how the IDF is just killing innocent protesters, while Hamas officials have confirmed on TV that 50 of the 62 people killed were working for Hamas."

The mainstream media views the Palestinians as the oppressed people who just want to share the land and peacefully coexist with the people of Israel. “They can't seem to comprehend that in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, only one side is actively trying to destroy the other," surmised Glenn.

Watch the video above to hear Glenn debunk the “peaceful Palestinian protest" fallacy.

Here are a few headlines regarding the protests in Israel: 'Global protests grow after Israeli killing of Palestinian demonstrators,' the Guardian. 'Israel kills dozens at Gaza Border,' the New York Times. 'Palestinians mourn dead in Gaza as protests continue,' CNN. 'Over 50 Palestinians in massive protest are killed by Israeli military, bloodiest day in Gaza since 2014 war,' ABC News. 'Gaza begins to bury its dead after deadliest day in years,' BBC.

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In each, the spoken or unspoken subject of the sentence and villain of the story is Israel. Innocent Palestinians murdered by the cruel Israelis. This is the narrative that the mainstream media has promulgated. Few have mentioned that the majority of the “protestors" that died were members of Hamas, the militant (and highly anti-Semetic) Sunni-Islamist organization that has been labeled a Foreign Terrorist Organization by the U.S. State Department.

A senior Hamas official told reporters that 50 of the 59 people killed in Monday's protests were members of Hamas, and the remainder were “from the people." So…they were all Hamas.

As usual, mention of such membership has been left out of the mainstream media's anti-Israel, pro-Islam narrative.

As usual, mention of such membership has been left out of the mainstream media's anti-Israel, pro-Islam narrative. Maybe they think of Palestinians as underdogs and they love a good scrap. Well, they aren't underdogs. But their outburst have been glorified for so long that it's near impossible to disagree with that narrative.