Earlier this month, Secretary of State John Kerry made the rounds on the Sunday morning shows to explain “all options are on the table” as the United States determines how to respond to Russia’s invasion of Crimea. On radio this morning, the Secretary of State (or at least someone who sounds a lot like him) made a surprise appearance to discuss what “all options” actually means.
As it turns out, the Obama Administration is currently considering a myriad of options – including the highly effective ‘Honey Boo-Boo Option’ that involves the American people just forgetting about the whole Ukraine crisis and watching reality TV instead.
“This is one of the options. And we could say, ‘Okay, that would work.’ And then the American people will just forget about the whole thing and start watching Honey Boo-Boo again,” Secretary of State Kerry (aka Pat Gray) explained. “That's the Honey Boo-boo option. We're calling it by its top-secret name right now.”
Unfortunately, the conversation failed to make Glenn feel any better about the state of U.S. foreign policy.
“This would actually make me feel better if this were or actual policies. But I think our policies are probably worse than this,” Glenn said exaperatedly. “I this is an honest question: Who's running our damn country? Who is making the policies for our country? The President doesn't go again to his national security briefing two days before a red line is passed… Seriously, what are the odds that he reads our policies at the same time you're hearing them come out of his mouth? I think there's a real possibility. The guy is not going to his briefings. When do they give them?”
For those who lived through the Carter Administration, it may have seemed impossible at the time to imagine things could get any worse… but then came the Obama Administration.
“Remember when we said, ‘You will marvel, you'll dream for the days of Jimmy Carter,’” Glenn concluded. “Gang, you're here.”
Front page image courtesy of the AP