Happy Tax Day! Don’t you just feel so charitable today? After all, today is the day you give away more of your hard earned money to the federal government so they can continue to spend into oblivion. With a bevy of ‘happy’ (sarcasm) topics to choose from today, Glenn decided reflecting on all the truly wonderful things the federal government is doing with our money was far and away the most jovial way to begin the radio program.
“[It’s] the most charitable day of the year,” Glenn said before he listed some of his favorite uses of our tax dollars.
“This is the day that I think of all of the wonderful people that we are helping. I think about the turtle tunnels that we are building. I think about all of the foreign aid that is going over to dirt bag countries. I think about all the foreign wars that I am not a fan of. I am thinking about all the bullets the Department of Homeland Security has purchased – and the post office, apparently,” he said. “I'm thinking about all the federal land that the federal government has. I am thinking about all the people stopping us from drilling and fracking. I am thinking about all of the great car companies that we have invested in that make exploding cars and the solar panels that we don't have because we spent all that money. I am thinking about all the great things Common Core is bringing us.”
So are you feeling charitable yet?
“This the holiest day of the year,” Glenn concluded. “It used to be that ‘C word’ holiday or the ‘E word’ holiday, which in some circles people are still celebrating. But today is the holiest day of the year because today is the day that you can help out poor struggling companies [and programs] that you don't believe in.”
Front page image courtesy of the AP