On radio this morning, the guys started talking about the new Star Wars trailer. While Pat and Stu found the trailer to be weak, Glenn enjoyed it, saying "I like the lightsaber."
While for the most part, the trailer is getting a very positive reaction online, there is a core group of incredibly ridiculous nerds who have a different opinion. Stu took the opportunity to read some of the negative comments from the fans. The logic behind some of these comments could even put Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory to shame.
STU: Here's some of the comments about the sword. So Steven Colbert said it's awesome. Then comments like this: There shouldn't be metal on the top of the cross guard. There should be metal on the bottom. Why create potential shrapnel, a blow would vaporize some of the cover, but probably not all of it. Some of it would fly off. Colbert is great, but his reasoning is specious.
PAT: That's a —
GLENN: Oh, my gosh.
PAT: That's a person who has never kissed a girl.
STU: Not even close.
GLENN: Not willingly, but probably on both sides.
STU: I imagine we'll discover the practicality of this design in the movie. If not, I imagine the good folks at ILM are scrambling to turn out a scene.
PAT: Oh, yeah. That's definitely at the top of their list.
PAT: That's unbelievable.
GLENN: Oh, yeah. That's what they're doing right now. Oh, my gosh, we got the lightsaber wrong. Somebody come up with a scene so we can explain this.
Oh, man. This is — we want to talk about first world problems.
STU: Someone tries to come in here and get really upset.
He's like: Come on, guys, what are you complaining about? He says: I love how nitpicking how people who can deflect blaster fire, traveling at the speed of sound, wouldn't be able to wield this new sword without cutting their hand. Really?
And the comments back to him are: Blaster bolts do not travel at the speed of light. Presuming blaster bolts are composed of plasma, super-heated ionized gas —
PAT: You have to be kidding me.
STU: — contained perhaps within a magnetic field, and they are not comprised of the very things in the universe that do travel at the speed of light, namely massless particles, e.g., photons and electromagnetic radiation, of which light is actually a type.
PAT: It was on the tip of my tongue. I was just going to say that.
GLENN: This is geek central.
STU: This is great. That being said, we can only assume, the speed of a blaster bolt is comparable to that of real-world projectiles. So somewhere in the range of just below the speed of sound to about three times the speed of sound. Now that's still too fast for the human eye to track, meaning the blaster bolts we see in the film are slowed for visual effect. Even with a force guiding a Jedi's action —
GLENN: Wait. Wait. Wait. Say that last line, Mr. Scientist.
STU: Even with a force guiding a Jedi's action, blocking a blaster bolt is an incredible feat.
JEFFY: That's tremendous.
PAT: Pretty solid. Yes, and he's right. Even with the force, it's an incredible feat.
JEFFY: Can't argue with it.
PAT: And yet we can't argue it didn't happen because we've all seen it happening. So with the force, you can do it. You can block a blaster bolt fire thing.
GLENN: You know, I remember The Empire Strikes Back. That was the second one. Right?
Or, I'm sorry the fifth one.
STU: Yes, correct. The best one.
GLENN: I was in Washington, DC. I was working at WPGC at the time. And we had the premiere. It was the first time that I was ever afraid of an audience. Because I went to the premiere, and everyone was dressed up as their favorite Star Wars character.
STU: That's only the second one? That's pretty amazing. I didn't know that happened that fast.
GLENN: No. It was a big deal. Remember when Empire Strikes Back that was a huge huge deal. I remember going to the theater. I had to speak to everybody. I'm like, okay, hello, all of you Wookies. Good to see you all here.
STU: What did they sound like? (sound effect).
JEFFY: Is he drunk. We're not all Wookies.
STU: By the way, he was drunk, by the way. You're correct.
PAT: You probably were.
STU: Glenn was drunk.
GLENN: No. I was only 18 — but, yes, I say probably was drunk. I'm sorry, ma'am. You're not dressed as a Wookie. Lovely hairstyle.