McDonald's has decided to move in a new direction with "create your taste." This morning on radio, Glenn, Pat, Stu, and Jeffy decided to analyze the "new" (baloney) "create your taste" campaign. Conclusion? It's Burger King's "have it your way" campaign from the 1970's. Glenn said, "McDonald's, I don't know if you've missed this, but it was called the 1970s."
Besides this new campaign, McDonald's has also decided to release their "secret sauce" aka, thousand island dressing. [GASP!] Wow! There's a new campaign and a released secret sauce recipe! Next, we'll hear they are hiring an executive chef. Wait, they already did that? Yes, they did. As Glenn said, "When you come in for a job interview in the food world and it says McDonald's executive chef, does everybody laugh?"
Having a semblance of a bad day? Then you need to watch this, we dare you not to laugh.
GLENN: So I just have to say, this is something that will affect your lives. McDonald's is changing. And McDonald's is going towards something called, create your taste. And it's coming at the pressure of Chipotle.
GLENN: Yeah. Chipotle. Say Chipotle. How does Al Sharpton say it?
PAT: Chip-o-lay. I don't quite understand that. Do they think it's happening — I don't quite understand it —
GLENN: They're saying people are becoming more picky, and McDonald's makes it: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. People want it different. If I may say, I don't think this is a new thing. It's called, have it your way at Burger King now.
PAT: I mean, 1970.
GLENN: Right. I mean, hello. See if you can find the actual have it your way — Jeffy — or, Sarah — no, you got something else.
Sarah, see if you can find the have-it-your-way commercial and play that commercial for us. See if you can find the two all-beef patties, the original Big Mac song, and then give me the special orders don't upset it, have it your way, Burger King.
McDonald's, I don't know if you've missed this, but it was called the 1970s.
PAT: And it was a big deal because when you ordered something special at McDonald's, they all got nasty with you and it took them 55 minutes to get anything —
JEFFY: Well, that was then.
STU: Yeah, that's changed. Every day on the way in, I order a breakfast sandwich that I order special, and they make it in, like, nine seconds. That process is completely done now.
PAT: Really? It has to wait and marinate under the heat lamp. Right?
GLENN: No, it does not. The days of pulling the hamburgers — remember that thing that they would slide all the hamburgers, and they'd all be hanging out behind the cash register. Those days are gone. Those days are gone. They've been gone for a long time.
Now, here is the real shocking news, first of all, that McDonald's is just catching up to have it your way.
PAT: Hey, maybe people will like it a different way than we tell them to have it. You think? Welcome to —
GLENN: You really are run by a clown, aren't you?
Here's the next thing: They're coming out now, they put this out on YouTube, the special sauce — they have now released, quote, the secret recipe.
PAT: Wasn't it Thousand Island dressing?
GLENN: It's really not that complex. It's Thousand Island dressing. First, let's go to the commercials before I tell you what else McDonald's is doing. Start with the McDonald's commercial, will you? Oh, you don't have it? You have two Burger Kings. Go ahead. See if the this is right Burger King.
VOICE: Have it your way. Have it your way. Have it your way at Burger King. May I help you, sir?
VOICE: Two Whoppers, two Whopper Jrs, and four Coca-Colas, and would I have to wait long if you made one Whopper with one pickle and no lettuce?
VOICE: No, sir. Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset. So we ask that you let us serve it your way.
VOICE: Oh, well, in that case, could I have the other Whopper with extra ketchup?
VOICE: Sure. We can serve it any way you think is proper. Have it your way.
VOICE: Now, that's the way to do things, our way.
VOICE: Have it your way. Have it your way.
GLENN: My gosh, this is bad.
PAT: Man, these days don't come back.
So here's the thing. That 1974, that's amazing. Play one more for me, Sarah.
PAT: Ella Fitzgerald, Burger King.
GLENN: What is this?
PAT: This is for the New York sophisticate. Stop. Stop. It's disturbing that Burger King was doing scat commercials. It's just disturbing. I may not ever be able to unhear that.
STU: That's Burger King in a world where people theoretically like jazz, which they don't.
GLENN: It's not just jazz too. It's scat jazz. Nobody likes that. Ella Fitzgerald is like, please, don't make me scat. Please.
So, anyway, here's the shocking news: Beside the fact that McDonald's is catching up to 1974, they have released the secret recipe for the special sauce, and they've dumped it on YouTube. Here comes the shocking — just play what we have here.
VOICE: All right. Every once in a while, let's face it, the craving kicks in. You have to. You want it. You got to have that Big Mac. And now the top chef at McDonald's is spilling the secret on how you can make that special sauce at home.
GLENN: The ABC report. Stop. Did you hear what she just said? McDonald's executive chef —
PAT: Yes. Wait. There's an executive chef at McDonald's? Do they also have a sous chef? I'll put the pickles on.
GLENN: You will not put the pickles on like that. I refuse for you to put the pickles on like that.
PAT: What if I put the lettuce shred on top of the pickle, or does it go the other way?
GLENN: I cannot work with this man. I'm an artist.
The executive chef. When you come in for a job interview in the food world and it says McDonald's executive chef, does everybody laugh?
PAT: There is not enough carrageenan in this meat.
Wasn't that the big deal in the '90s? They were putting seaweed in their meat. I think this is an effort to dispel that stuff.
STU: They do serve 69 million people a day. I think they can have an executive chef position. They can afford it.
PAT: They can afford it, but why?
GLENN: It hasn't changed —
JEFFY: Have you had the McRib?
GLENN: That's a science position, not a chef position.
PAT: That came from Dow Chemical.
STU: I don't like this anti-fast food propaganda. I'm not comfortable with it.
GLENN: We have an executive chemist.
I would understand that. The McDonald's executive chemist is here.
PAT: We were talking about the milkshake a year ago, they can't call it a shake. There's no milk in it. They can't legally call it a milkshake.
JEFFY: Wait, what?
GLENN: What's in it? And no chef is giving you that answer. The chef is the one kicking dirt over the chemical recipe. Nothing to see. Scatter a few leaves on top. No one will know we're hear.
STU: I remember a certain someone who fell in love with the executive chef's creation of a McGriddle. The McGriddle, which was a —
GLENN: I stand by the fact that that was not a chef, that that was a chemist.
STU: Whatever. You're eating it.
GLENN: Let's be honest, it was a chemist that did it, not a chef. Sarah has the audio of the executive chef.
VOICE: I'm chef Dan Coudreaut, the executive chef from McDonald's. We have a question from Christine from Oshua (phonetic). What is in the sauce that is in the Big Mac? Well, Christine, quite honestly, the ingredients have been available in the restaurant or on the internet for many years. So not really a secret. What we'll do today, we'll make a version with ingredients that are similar that you could buy at your local grocery store. Okay? I'll be a little less formal.
GLENN: Stop. But I want you to know, Sarah, that the thing is, you can use ingredients — we'll use ingredients that are similar, that you can find in your grocery store.
Where is McDonald's finding the ingredients?
PAT: Dow Chemical.
GLENN: That's exactly right. If they're similar to the ones you can find in your grocery store, we find them on a shelf behind the prescription counter at CVS.
PAT: Right behind the pesticide.
STU: Stop it. Certainly will be a different brand name. And different suppliers. It's pesticide. That's what it is.
GLENN: Similar to a pickle.
PAT: That's what I believe.
GLENN: Come on. It's not like that pickle, I've got to have a certain brand of pickle. It's a pickle, dude.
STU: Did you ever work at a deli? You get the deli mayonnaise.
GLENN: This is similar to the pickle you can find in stores. My grandmother would say it's a pickle. She grew it in her garden or, you know — you know, what was the stork who — that made the pickles.
STU: The stork that made the pickles.
GLENN: I can pull it out of a Vlasic jar or my grandmother's — and she wouldn't say, this is similar to what you — she'd say, it's a pickle.
STU: Yeah, they probably have a supplier where it comes direct. It's not that you could replicate it with a different brand. You ever get that deli mayonnaise that comes in — it's not Hellmann's. It's like 16,000 more calories. But it comes in. But you can replicate it with Hellmann's. That's a fair way to put it. You guys are very anti-fast food, and I don't like it. I don't like what we're —
PAT: We're talking with chemical food defender, Stu. Stu, tell us why chemicals are fine in food.
STU: Because they taste really good. Thank you, Jeffy. Jeffy is with me.
GLENN: No. I know. It's true.
PAT: They're delicious.
GLENN: It does make it taste good. It also kills you. But it makes it taste good.
JEFFY: I'm good with anything that chemicals enhance.
STU: That's true. Jeffy is very pro chemical.
PAT: Injecting. Snorting.
GLENN: I think we'll leave it at that. And I guess in some way we're back to the chemist talk. So let's move on.