Seriously, this seems kind of bizarre. On radio this morning, Glenn brought in a pack of Kraft cheese singles for a little science experiment. It turns out the cheese burns when held up to an open flame. It doesn't melt. Odd.
Glenn has become very concerned with what he is putting into his body in recent months, so the whole thing triggered a debate about processed foods.
Below is a rough transcript of this segment:
STU: You seem to be shuffling a deck of cheese as you're making this comment. I couldn't help, but notice. Strange thing to be doing.
GLENN: I have this type of cheese here to make a point with you.
STU: Oh, really?
STU: Can't wait to hear it.
GLENN: Do you like Kraft American cheese?
STU: I absolutely do.
GLENN: So do I. So do I. My wife pointed something out. She pointed something out to me this morning on her Facebook page. She said --
STU: She didn't just roll over and tell you about it.
GLENN: Somebody posted this on her Facebook page. I was like, holy cow. And I wanted to get your opinion on it. Because food is no big deal. Right?
STU: It's one of the biggest deals. It fuels you --
GLENN: You can put whatever you want in your body. Food is food?
STU: You know, within reason, yes.
GLENN: So no artificial preservatives. Kraft. Notice what it says on the package.
PAT: No artificial preservatives or flavors. Kraft singles American.
GLENN: American. Kraft singles American. It doesn't say American cheese. It says American.
STU: It's patriotism.
GLENN: That's right we have America.
So she posted somebody on her Facebook page, said, you know, I just wanted to point out, it doesn't really melt.
PAT: The cheese doesn't melt?
STU: No. I have melted this Kraft cheese many times.
GLENN: It just kind of burns.
PAT: Okay. Well, it's essentially made of polyester. Right?
GLENN: It's just burning. I have a lighter here.
STU: Right now it's not doing anything.
GLENN: Well, this is an American lighter.
STU: Does it say lighter on it, or does it just say American?
GLENN: It's just American. So I'm not sure it's a lighter, per se. I just thought, you know, if you can't really -- cheese should melt, shouldn't it?
STU: Well, it does melt when you cook it. They use that cheese all the time and it melts all the time. I just never have tried it over an open lighter. That's not how you use the product.
PAT: Is that how they tried to melt it?
GLENN: Yeah. They used a lighter.
PAT: Well, if you put it on the stove, it will melt.
STU: It makes a delicious grilled cheese.
GLENN: Yeah. Just a little disturbing.
STU: I don't know -- why is it a little disturbing?
GLENN: I don't know why. Just a little disturbing to me.
STU: Now, the plastic around it will melt. Should I eat that?
GLENN: No. It's just cheese.
PAT: Does it say cheese underneath the --
GLENN: In small print. A cheese product.
PAT: Oh, cheese product.
GLENN: Cheese product.
PAT: Makes it sound even tastier.
GLENN: The ingredients aren't so bad. Cheddar cheese. Milk cheese culture. Salt enzymes. Whey. Milk, milk protein concentrate, milk fat. Whey protein concentrate. Sodium citrate. Phosphate. Salt. Lactic acid. Paprika extract for color. Enzymes. Cheese culture.
I can't get enough cheese culture. Vitamin D3. And it does contain milk. So it's not so bad.
PAT: So I'm no farmer, I'm no expert on cheese, but that sounds like cheese.
GLENN: It does.
STU: And so what's the accusation here?
PAT: That it wasn't cheese.
STU: But you just read the ingredients.
GLENN: I don't know.
STU: Can I have one of those slices, by the way?
GLENN: I don't know. Just, I don't know.
STU: I'm really hungry now.
GLENN: You want two slices of cheese product?
PAT: I like they say no artificial preservatives. What kind of preservatives are they?
STU: Is salt a preservative?
GLENN: It is.
GLENN: I'm in this place in my life where food is -- I mean, you went through this, Stu. You got off all kinds of food because it was starting to skeeve you out.
STU: Yeah. Just different philosophy there.
GLENN: You thought anything natural was bad.
STU: I hate natural things. No. There's certain foods that you don't like. That you don't prefer. And so you don't eat them. But that's different than what you're going through. Thank you very much.
GLENN: Did you throw him a cheese slice?
STU: Can we have cheese slices every day? Is this part of the show now?
GLENN: No, it's not.
STU: Can we expense them if we were to bring in --
PAT: You know what the ingredient should be? Cheddar cheese.
GLENN: Thank you.
STU: You do realize that cheese is not a naturally occurring substance. Right?
PAT: You do whatever you do to the cow.
STU: That's the --
PAT: Skim some off and there it is, it's cheese.
GLENN: I don't think that's the way -- I don't think that's the way it works. That might give you blue cheese-ish a lot.
PAT: I said it would be cheese. And that's cheese.
GLENN: Remind me to never go over to his house for cheese and mushrooms.