When you tune into The Glenn Beck Radio Program, we really hope that you learn something. Politics, science, faith, history - at his core Glenn is a storyteller and a teacher. So what did we learn today? Well, Pat went to jail.
Yes, you read that right.
Let's be honest, if you were to guess which person from the show had done time, you would guess Jeffy. Then if you found out you were wrong, you'd guess Jeffy again and tell me stop messing around. The it's a toss up between Glenn in his drinking days and Stu after local Texas bistro that's run out of veggie burgers.
Never Pat. Never, ever Pat.
But it turns out Pat once lived on the wrong side of the tracks, getting busted for (wait for it)...a parking ticket!
Say it ain't so Pat!
Stu: How many times have you been in prison, Jeffy? Can we start with that?
JEFFY: For what particular crime?
PAT: No, we're just talking in general. Overall. Total number. Jail, prison, combined.
JEFFY: Jail and prison are two different things. Anybody can say jail --
GLENN: Yeah, we've all sat in jail. Right, Jeffy? We've all gone to jail.
JEFFY: Thank you.
PAT: I actually have. I actually have sat in --
JEFFY: Okay. This is news to us today.
GLENN: This is the second time you've said this, and we've been friends since the '80s, and you've never told me about your jail time.
PAT: Have I not? Really?
GLENN: No, you have not. You're saying this like you've never gone to jail.
PAT: No, I have. I spent a night in jail, in the Salt Lake County jail.
GLENN: I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.
PAT: It was actually Rexburg, a family of six.
GLENN: Right. Wow. Why were you in jail?
PAT: It was a parking ticket that was unpaid.
GLENN: Okay. What kind of Nazi town was that?
PAT: I know. I know. Right?
They -- I didn't appear when I was supposed to, and then --
JEFFY: So there was a warrant.
PAT: There was a warrant.
GLENN: How old were you?
PAT: Twenty-one, probably. Just married.
GLENN: Did that scare the life out of you?
PAT: Not super responsible apparently at the time.
GLENN: What a surprise that it was some sort of a -- a vehicle violation that Pat spent time in jail over.
PAT: Yeah, it's a shocking surprise.
PAT: So I -- you know, wasn't paying much attention to it so I thought, yeah, I'll get around to that. I didn't get around to that. Then there was a bench warrant or whatever. And then I appeared. And the judge was really nasty. And he wasn't going to let it go with a fine. In fact, he gave me a 30-day sentence and suspended 29. I could have spent 30 days in jail for a parking ticket.
JEFFY: First of all, that's just how the man will do you right there. I mean, we've all been in front of judges like that.
PAT: Yeah. So on Mother's Day in like 1981, I'm in jail. And Jackie is home alone.
STU: Mother's Day.
PAT: Home alone without her husband.
STU: Did she -- did you guys have kids?
PAT: She was pregnant at the time. She was pregnant with our first --
JEFFY: So she wasn't a mother yet.
GLENN: Boy, she was regretting --
PAT: Oh, yeah, she was like --
GLENN: She's like, is there any way this child is not Pat's?
PAT: Can this be annulled at this point, even though we've conjugated.
GLENN: There's got to be some way this is not Pat's.
STU: I believe on this program, she was very much was a mother at that particular time.
PAT: That's right. Thank you. So I will say to you -- so you're in jail on your wife's first Mother's Day.
PAT: With these assaults. You know, perpetrators. With burglars.
GLENN: What was that like?
PAT: So what are you in for? I killed a man in Rexburg, just to watch him die. No, a parking ticket. They all laughed. But...
JEFFY: Make some friends? Lifelong?
PAT: Fortunately I did not get together with any of them that night.
GLENN: You didn't find any love spots?
JEFFY: I mean, you're already there.
GLENN: You have a pretty mouth. How frightened were you?
PAT: I was terrified.
GLENN: Did you sleep?
PAT: No. And it was probably pretty -- it was -- twenty-four hours. It was overnight.
GLENN: Like, I got there at 7:00 and the sun came up.
PAT: I can't remember what time I got there. Maybe 6 o'clock in the afternoon. Then I had to spend the night. Then I think Jackie could pick me up at 9 o'clock the next morning or something.
GLENN: Did you get a chance to take the cup and ring it across the bars? I've always wanted to do that from the other side of the bars.
STU: So that means Glenn, you're signifying you've never been to jail?
GLENN: We're talking about Pat right now.
STU: Wait. You've been to jail too?
GLENN: We're talking to Pat right now. We're talking about Pat and his --
JEFFY: Every jail cell doesn't have a cup, so it could have been possible that you went to jail and didn't have a cup.
GLENN: I'm just saying that we have one revelation here that we have not finished exploring. Let's concentrate on Pat.
PAT: No, I think we've explored it in its entirety.
GLENN: Oh, golly. We're all out of time. We're all out of time.
PAT: Now it's time to shift the exploration. Wow. So there is something you haven't come clean on?
GLENN: There may be some things that I've misremembered.