For weeks now, Glenn has been following his doctor's advice, staying off the air to prevent further injury to his highly strained vocal chords. Today was the day he was going to finally come back to share what he's learned during his silence. But at the start of radio, only Stu and Jeffy were there, with no Glenn to be seen nor heard.
As luck would have it, after a month of resting his overused vocal chords, today Glenn got "normal person sick," as Stu put it.
Watch Stu and Jeffy's reaction in the video below.
Below is a rush transcription of this segment, it may contain errors:
STU: It is the Glenn Beck Program. I'm Stu in for Glenn today. Along with Jeffy. Who is joining me. Unfortunately. But the person we actually thought would show up for work today, Mr. Glenn Beck, is not here. We've talked about this with Glenn many times. He's a guy who reacts to important issues in the news. He talks about this all the time. We need to do things. Not just talk about the issue and the problem. We need to do something. So Glenn is currently gone -- he's flown over there, I guess, and he's going to murder all of Cecil the lion's relatives with his bare hands. He wants them all dead. Anyone who has ever met Cecil the lion is going to be killed by Glenn. That's where he is now. Is that accurate, Jeffy?
JEFFY: As far as I know, that's happening.
STU: I mean, it's a crazy thing. Glenn has been promoting for weeks that he'll be back today and give you the big update and we're going to push toward 8/28. And it was because of his vocal cords. So he flies back, and then he just gets normal person sick.
JEFFY: Glenn can get normal person sick?
STU: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. And Pat is out as well. This was a scheduled absence for Pat as he's away today. Either that or I've now killed every one off except for Jeffy, who I thought would be the easiest to kill off.
JEFFY: I was going to say. You thought I would be the easiest. Wrong.
STU: You don't know how much poison I've put in your beverages. You're just immune.
JEFFY: I have other medication that takes care of that.
STU: So we do expect Glenn to be back tomorrow. I apologize you're stuck with us today.