It is in the middle of the night in Europe and I can't sleep. Tomorrow morning we head back to the Middle East.
I miss my children. I miss my wife.
I don't do well without Tania.
My kids know that and so does my staff. I have a shelf life of about three days before I just don't function well. My children come and check on dad when she is gone, because they know.
It is the strangest thing. It is like I told her almost twenty years ago when we met, "I am stealing light from you." Her response? "You cannot steal that which you are being given."
It is not the light of Christ as He is my source, it is a light of... I am not sure... Life. A peace, a gentleness and a softness that lets me know that everything okay.
My light is growing dim, I need to be with her soon. I just need to hold her hand.
I know we are the couple that dies within hours of each other should she die first.
Today while I had a small medical hiccup from the flights, I physically hurt, but I wondered how much was just the ache of my arms needing to be around my children?
I know this sounds mushy, but I am a mushy guy. This I am totally willing to be mocked for. I wish everyone could feel what I feel. Maybe everyone does, maybe I just appreciate it a bit more because I never expected to find it and feel it.
A man could have all of the riches in the world, but if he does not have his wife and children by his side, he is poor indeed.
As I lay in bed, I made the mistake of watching my daughter talk of remembering me after I spoke of remembering my grandfather. She is so wonderful and then my grand daughter ran into my arms...