Glenn Has Hugest, Most Special Show Ever — And Mexico Paid for It

February 10, 2016

Writer

It don't get much better than this, folks. Glenn had the most fabulous, most special show ever on Wednesday following the New Hampshire primary. He didn't provide a whole lot of detail on how the show was special --- it just was because he said so. And --- drum roll, please --- China and Mexico paid for the whole shebang. It was "uge."

"Oh, my gosh, this is huge. It's spectacular. It's special. New Hampshire is such a special place. The people are special, and I'll always remember them," Glenn proclaimed.

When asked by co-host Pat Gray if it was the greatest show God ever created, Glenn answered with certainty and bravado.

"I would say that this show that I'm doing --- I'm going to make this show great again --- and I'm going to be remembered as the greatest show host that God has ever created," Glenn said.

Not only was the show "uge," but it was paid for by other countries and businesses.

"This is a beautiful door. And I've made Mexico pay for this door. They paid for this door," Glenn revealed. "I told them they had to pay for it. And look at this beautiful door. That's the way it works. That's the way this show works."

The other fantastic thing that made this show so good, so fast and so strong --- Glenn's new look. He was killin' it with a new sunburned, racoon-eyed look.

"I look good, don't I? Do I look good, beautiful, handsome? The most fabulous guy ever?" Glenn asked.

Actually, he looked a little like Donald Trump during his New Hampshire victory speech.

"Here's what happened," Glenn explained. "Last night I was watching the Donald's speech and I fell asleep in a bed. And I got up this morning and here I am."

Glenn fell asleep in a bed? A regular bed or a tanning bed?

"Let's move on to the show," Glenn said. "We have a beautiful show. A magnificent show. Probably the greatest show that God ever created for you on today's program."

Enjoy this complimentary clip from The Glenn Beck Program:

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

GLENN: My gosh! This is going to be the most fabulous, the most special, the ugest show you've ever heard. It is going to be the most special show we've ever done. In fact, it is so special. It is so uge -- China -- I mean, we've got a show. It's called we've got a show. And it's happening right now. And let me tell you this, it's going to be so special, so uge. We're going to make China, and we're going to make Mexico pay for it right now.

(music)

GLENN: Oh, my gosh, this is huge. It's spectacular. It's special. New Hampshire is such a special place. The people are special. And I'll always remember them.

PAT: Would you say that this is the greatest show that God has ever created?

GLENN: I would say that this show that I'm doing -- I'm going to make this show great again. And I'm going to be remembered as the greatest show host that God has ever created.

STU: You're going to do a show so good and so fast and so strong, believe you.

GLENN: What?

STU: You're going to do a show so good.

GLENN: Yes, so good.

STU: So fast.

GLENN: So fast.

STU: And so strong.

GLENN: And so strong.

STU: Believe you.

GLENN: Believe you.

PAT: No, you would say believe me.

GLENN: Believe me. Okay. I'm going to do a show so good, so fast, so strong. Believe me.

JEFFY: There you go.

PAT: Wow, I do. How could I not?

GLENN: I don't know. I don't know.

PAT: How could I not?

GLENN: Ask me how I'm going to do the show.

PAT: How are you going to do the show?

GLENN: I'm going to get Mexico to pay for it.

PAT: How are you going to get Mexico to pay for it?

GLENN: I'm going to get Mexico -- look, it's called we got a show. And we're going to do this show. It's going to have a beautiful -- come here. I just want to show you something.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: I just want to show you something.

PAT: Okay.

GLENN: This is a beautiful wall. Wouldn't you agree this is a beautiful wall?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: And look at this door.

PAT: It's a beautiful door.

GLENN: This is a beautiful door. And I've made Mexico pay for this door. They paid for this door.

PAT: Did they pay for it because you told them they had to? That's a beautiful door.

GLENN: I told them they had to pay for it. And look at this beautiful door. That's the way it works. That's the way this show works.

PAT: Did you just come in legally through that beautiful --

GLENN: I came in legally through that door. And anybody can legally come through that door. As long as I say -- the damn Muslims will stay out of that door, I'll tell you that. We'll keep those damn Muslims out of that door.

PAT: Of course. Because, look, it's called we have a country. And we got to be safe.

GLENN: We got to be safe. And we're going to start winning in this room --

PAT: Just until we understand what's going on. When we figure out what's going on, then Muslims can come back on.

GLENN: Because we don't know what what's going on.

PAT: What's going on? I don't know.

GLENN: I don't know what's going on.

STU: Kind of a vague idea to reverse that policy.

PAT: We'll figure out what's going on. Then we'll let Muslims come back in through that big, beautiful door.

STU: What --

GLENN: It's called we have a show.

JEFFY: It's called management.

GLENN: Can I say this? Do you see that wall? It's beautiful.

STU: It's fine.

GLENN: 18 feet. Probably 18.

PAT: No. Twenty feet maybe.

GLENN: Twenty feet. That's a 20-foot wall here. And I want you to notice. Not only here, but over here. What do you call this?

PAT: I call that a door.

GLENN: What kind of door?

PAT: A beautiful door.

GLENN: That is a beautiful door right here.

PAT: People can come in and out of that door.

GLENN: Beautiful wall, beautiful door. Guess who paid for that?

PAT: Mexico and China.

GLENN: Mexico.

PAT: Just Mexico on that one. Because you said they were going to pay for it?

GLENN: I said they're going to pay for it.

PAT: And they did.

GLENN: Right. That door over here, you know who paid for this door?

PAT: No.

GLENN: Look at this door. We have three days -- actually we have four doors. See this door, this is a beautiful door, right? Know who paid for that one?

PAT: It's a beautiful door. Mexico.

GLENN: Nope. Home Depot. I walked into Home Depot and I said, you're paying for that door. And they said, what do you mean we're paying for that door? And I said, you're paying for that door. You see this one over here, this is a beautiful door.

PAT: Right.

GLENN: Beautiful door. This is the fourth door in this room. See this one. Know who paid for this one?

PAT: That big, beautiful door.

GLENN: That door.

PAT: That's actually a smaller beautiful door than the other big beautiful --

GLENN: Yeah, it's a smaller door. You know who paid for that one?

PAT: Lowe's. Because you told them too.

GLENN: Lowe's paid for that. I walked in and said, you're paying for that door.

STU: Because you have a trade-in balance with Lowe's, where you've been paying them.

GLENN: That's exactly right. They need my money at Lowe's. So I go into Lowe's and I tell them, you know what, this door, you're paying for this door.

PAT: At first I bet they said, no, we're not. That's ridiculous.

GLENN: At first they called the police. But then they paid for the door because I said to.

PAT: Because you said to. Okay.

GLENN: So, anyway --

PAT: I would vote for you for best show.

STU: Yeah. Although I did want to ask one show detail, which is you look a little different today.

GLENN: What do you mean I look different. It's radio show.

STU: Well, we broadcast on TheBlaze TV as well.

GLENN: I look good, don't I? Do I look good, beautiful, handsome? The most fabulous guy ever?

STU: Yes, but it's different.

GLENN: What do you mean? I don't understand what you're saying.

PAT: You look a little like Donald --

GLENN: Here's what happened. Last night I was watching the Donald's speech and I fell asleep in a bed. And I got up this morning and here I am. So maybe it's my hair --

STU: You fell asleep in a bed?

GLENN: Let's move on to the show. We have a beautiful show. A magnificent show. Probably the greatest show that God ever created for you on today's program. I really liked the humility of Donald Trump last night. I thought it was really good. I thought -- I like the way he thanked and said congratulations to the other people that lost. It was really nice.

PAT: Wasn't that nice?

GLENN: It was heartfelt. It was uge. It was uge. And sincere. And here it is.

DONALD: You know, when I came out, I heard the end of Bernie's speech, and I heard some of the beginning.

(booing)

DONALD: No, no. First of all, congratulations to Bernie. In all fairness, we have to congratulate him. We may not like it. But I heard parts of Bernie's speech. He wants to give away our country, folks. He wants to give away -- we're not going to let it happen. We're not going to let it happen. I don't know where it's going with Bernie. We wish him a lot of luck. But we are going to make America great again, but we're going to do it the old-fashioned way. We're going to beat China, Japan. We're going to beat Mexico at trade. We're going to beat all of these countries that are taking so much of our money away from us on a daily basis. It's not going to happen anymore.

PAT: It's not going to happen anymore. I love that. You know what else isn't going to happen anymore? Drugs. They're not going to happen anymore.

GLENN: Drugs aren't going to happen anymore?

DONALD: And by the way, for the people of New Hampshire, where you have a tremendous problem with heroin and drugs. You wouldn't even believe it. You see this place and you say, "It's so beautiful." You have a tremendous problem.

The first thing always that they mention to me, "Mr. Trump, please do something. The drugs, the heroin, it's pouring in, and it's so cheap because there's so much of it. And the kids are getting stuck. And other people are getting stuck." We're going to end it. We're going to end it at the southern border. It's going to be over.

PAT: Wow. It's going to be over. Drugs are going to be over.

GLENN: He's going to end it. It's beautiful. Well, he's going to end it at the border. The southern border. Northern border, it will pour in on the northern border. Southern border, not going to pour in anymore.

PAT: Well, there isn't going to be a big, beautiful wall.

JEFFY: People are still going to get stuck. Younger people, older people, they're still going to get stuck from the --

GLENN: No, he's going to end that. He's going to end that. Don't ask for any details. But he'll end that. He's a guy that can get a sunburn in a snowstorm, so he can do things that most people can't do.

PAT: And nobody mentions it.

GLENN: That's the weird thing. That's the weird thing. Nobody seems to want to talk about the odd sunburn that he had from the snowstorm.

STU: So it's like freezer burn?

GLENN: It might be freezer burn. HEP he might have been wearing snow goggles and opened the door and freezer burn on his face.

STU: So you think it's right if people were to mention like a really odd appearance thing that is really --

GLENN: No, I just think that it would be something that somebody might say.

STU: Should bring up?

GLENN: You know, you walk out and you look like you've just been freezer burned. You would think that somebody might casually just say, "Did he look odd?" Here's the thing. My wife walked in last night and she said, "What the hell happened to Donald Trump?" And I said, "What do you mean?" And she said, "Look at him." And I said, "Okay. So it's not just me?" She's like, "No, really. What happened to him? Is he really angry, except for the raccoon part around his eyes?"

JEFFY: Did you see your wife before you left this morning, after you fell asleep in a bed?

GLENN: No, I don't know what you're talking.

JEFFY: Oh.

GLENN: So do you have the part about Donald Trump where he said, "I want to thank all of the other guys. And, you know, look, we got to do it." You didn't get that?

PAT: No.

GLENN: It was really -- go back and look at his speech, and we'll play it later. It was amazing how he talked about the other people. And he begrudgingly said congratulations to everyone else. And okay. There I said it. You didn't hear that? Did anybody notice that?

JEFFY: Well, that's what he did with Bernie there too.

GLENN: Yeah, he said, we got to do it. We don't like it, but we got to do it. But it was even worse when he talked about the other people. He was like, there. Okay. We got it done. We had to do it. Where there was just no -- there was just no graciousness.

PAT: Well, there's none in him.

JEFFY: Yeah.

Featured Image: Screenshot from The Glenn Beck Program:

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