Stu and the Story of the Bulletproof Vest

In case you hadn't heard, Glenn threatened to stab co-host Stu Burguiere last Friday. It was a joke, but some folks can't take a joke these days. So, naturally, the Secret Service became involved. That's what happens when you joke about something, right? Well, it is if Trumpsters jump to the wrong conclusion.

"So I walk in, they're in this room, these two Secret Service agents are there. And they're big fans. And they're like, 'Mr. Beck, we're really sorry. We know the story. We know what's going on. We just have to hear it from you.' And they had the audiotape and the videotape there. They had everything."

According to Glenn, the Secret Service detail may be the only ones with a sense of humor. (The world really is upside down.) They evidently said, 'We listen to you. We know you threaten Stu's life all the time.' Now that's funny . . . Secret Service making a dry joke.

Long story short, Glenn did not threaten anyone's life. He and his co-worker friends like to joke around. It's called having fun. Trumpsters should try it sometime.

Enjoy this complimentary clip from The Glenn Beck Program:

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

GLENN: And it's suicide.

Are you wearing a bullet-proof vest?

STU: Yes, I am.

GLENN: I'm sorry. I just noticed that Stu is wearing a bullet-proof vest.

JEFFY: Good for him.

STU: I mean, you've talked many times about being prepared. And obviously with the events of this weekend, I think it's sensible for me to take precautions.

GLENN: You're worried about someone coming in here and shooting us?

STU: You're under FBI investigation. Okay?


I think it may have even gone higher than that at this point. Has the United Nations contacted you? I don't know.

GLENN: Interpol. I'm wanted by Interpol.

STU: Interpol.

PAT: It's the Secret Service. It's the FBI. It's the NSA. It's the CIA. It's the NCAA.

GLENN: Wait. Wait. It's not just the CIA, Central Intelligence Agency, it's also the Culinary Institute of America.

PAT: It is.

STU: You're threatening to stab everybody with knives. So the Culinary Institute of America is going to get involved in that.

JEFFY: You don't just get involved in that.

PAT: They're intervening.

GLENN: In case you don't know what happened on Friday, I threatened to stab Stu and just wouldn't stop stabbing him.

STU: You did. Because I made fun of you because you blew an analogy. You said -- you meant to say --

PAT: Walking in the shoes. And instead, he said sitting in his shoes.

STU: And I pointed out that they would have to be very large shoes.

PAT: For you to sit in.

GLENN: Have you seen Marco Rubio in the big chair?

STU: I have. Yes. Apparently a big story this weekend.

JEFFY: That was post stabbing. The Marco Rubio chair was post stabbing.

GLENN: I'm just saying, somewhere with that big chair, there's big shoes that he probably could have sat in as well.

STU: That's probably true. So you -- after I criticized blowing the analogy, you threatened to kill me.


If you were in the same location, you would not stop stabbing is the way that --

GLENN: Okay. Let me tell you what happened. Because this is out of control. And this is Trump. Trump, his campaign manager tweeted this, tweeted that I was under FBI investigation or Secret Service investigation. Absolutely not true. The Secret Service knew this was not true.

PAT: Seems that's a lie being spread by the campaign. Doesn't it? What kind of dirty tricks are they playing? Wow.

GLENN: Yeah, I know. I know. Anything to discredit.

So they knew -- the Secret Service knew from the instant it happened, and here's how I know.

5 o'clock in the afternoon, I finished my TV show at 6 o'clock on Friday. And I finished my show at CPAC. Now, Secret Service is there all day long. And my security guy comes up to me and says, "Glenn, we have to meet with the Secret Service."

And I said, "I thought we already had this conversation." Because the Secret Service called immediately because they were getting so many Trumpsters calling. And they have to --

STU: They should.

GLENN: Yeah, they should.

STU: A lot of media sources were reporting that you had targeted Trump with your stabbing. Of course, we got that corrected -- all the legitimate ones corrected almost --

GLENN: Immediately. Immediately. Not the Daily Caller and not the --

STU: The Daily Caller did add an update. Politico had it initially. The Hill had it. I mean, a lot of places started carrying it, and they did pull it down.

GLENN: Yeah, everybody pulled it down.

GLENN: The Daily Caller, I'm sorry. I'm not giving them any slack. It's ridiculous what the Daily Caller is doing. But, anyway, so the Secret Service, they don't even call me. Did they call you?

STU: No, I was just on Twitter tweeting all the reporters individually. Being like, you guys know -- and I know you don't listen to the show, per se, so you might not understand that Glenn threatens my life every day. But let me tell you that this is actually normal.

GLENN: Right. So, anyway, they knew early on. And I asked about it. I said, "They don't believe that, do they?" And they said, they already talked to the Secret Service. They didn't believe it. Everything is fine.

So 6 o'clock rolls around. And my security guy says, "You got to go meet with the Secret Service." And I said, "You got to be kidding me. This is still going on?" And he said, "No, no. In fact, they're very nervous about meeting with you because there's been an ongoing argument today inside because they know this is ridiculous and they don't want to -- they don't want you to go on the air and hammer how stupid they are."

STU: And they're not stupid. At all.

GLENN: And they're not stupid. But they have -- to be able to close this out, they have to have a statement from you. And I'm like, "I'm not going to hammer them on the air. They should be doing this stuff." If a complaint, they should follow every step of the way.

STU: Absolutely.

GLENN: So I walk in, they're in this room. These two Secret Service agents are there. And they're big fans. And they're like, "Mr. Beck, we're really sorry. We know the story. We know what's going on. We just have to hear it from you." And they had the audiotape and the videotape there. They had everything.

And they said, "You know -- and one of them said, "We listen to you. We know you threaten Stu's life all the time."

STU: Wait a minute.


GLENN: And I believe -- and they said something like, "We don't care if you kill him." I'm not sure. But that's the way I remember it.

STU: Really?

JEFFY: Bless them.

GLENN: Yeah, but they were really, really nice and very professional and exactly the way the Secret Service should behave. And I said, "If you guys listen to me -- first of all, thank you for doing this. Thank you for protecting even people like Donald Trump. I really don't like him, but he has a right to say these things and he should be protected. And so you're exactly right. If you have something -- a lead, you have to follow it and everything else." I know. But if you do listen to me, you know that I've asked multiple times for prayers for you guys and prayers for you guys around Donald Trump to keep him safe because he's a crazy man.

And they didn't respond to the crazy man thing. But they did respond to, "Yes, we do know. And we're very appreciative of all your support and everything else." And I said, "You guys are doing an important job. And you need to continue to do it. And I support you and everyone on our show supports you." They were really, really gracious and very professional. And it was over. It was over that morning.

I leave there, an hour later, I think it's the Daily Caller printing than at that I'm now under federal investigation with the FBI. The FBI hasn't been involved. This was closed an hour after this was brought to their attention. This is ridiculous.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Absolutely ridiculous.

STU: It's completely ridiculous. And you're right. They should go through and go through the motions and make sure nothing is there. It was pretty obvious.

PAT: If you heard this show though, you know there was nothing there.

GLENN: As soon as they heard the show, they knew. And so the only reason why this was a deal was because of Trump people and people like Donald Trump's manager saying that I threatened his life. It's clear to anyone who listened to the show, I was threatening Stu's life.

STU: It was comical to see all of the Trump supporters like cycle through all the arguments as each one gets to feed it. One of their first big arguments was, "Well, if Glenn said that it was -- if it was his co-host there, then why did he say, if I were near him or if I were up there, not knowing that we were in two different locations." You were at CPAC. We were in Dallas. So then the video comes out, shows that we're in two different locations.

Then it's, "Well, he didn't even make a veiled reference to his co-host." It's like, "Well, I spoke the sentence immediately before the thing you're saying." So, no, he didn't make a reference to me. I was actually speaking on the air.

It was a weird Friday. I will say, I spent most of my Friday defending my boss for threatening my life. I was actually -- I was saying, "You know, wait a minute, guys. He wasn't threatening Donald Trump's life. He was only threatening my life." And then think about how weird it is to go through that process. Then the media sources say back to you, "Oh, okay. He wasn't threatening Donald Trump's life. It was only you." Which, like, there's no story here. Your life is in danger. There's no more story. We'll pull that down immediately.


This is the Jeffy way of living.

JEFFY: You're welcome. It is.

STU: Well, that's why I have the bullet-proof vest today. Because, look, I don't know that I can trust you.

GLENN: I know.

STU: You're obviously a very dangerous guy. You're under investigation by multiple authorities.

GLENN: I know. FBI. Culinary Institute of America.

STU: Yes, they're all over you. Pat was saying I guess it's the FBI, the CIA, and the NCAA.

PAT: NCAA is in on it too.

GLENN: WACP, are they in on it?

STU: I don't know.

PAT: Not yet. But they're considering.

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