Glenn Laughs It Up With the Real Live Steven Crowder

You never have to wait long to get down to laughs with Steven Crowder, but he barely got a sentence out Friday on The Glenn Beck Program without letting the jokes fly.

“Do we have a clip of that, Pat?” Glenn asked co-host Pat Gray. “Let's see if we can play a clip of that. We'll get Steven on the phone. Steven, are you there?”

Crowder quickly quipped back in his typical fashion, dripping in sarcasm.

“I am here, sir. But I am not a clip.”

“I know you're not a clip,” Glenn chuckled.

With all the pleasantries out of the way, the two jumped right into finding the humor in the politics of the day – and of course socialism.

A Man of Many Talents

GLENN: Tell me about the audio here. Tell me what you did.

STEVEN: A lot of people, Republicans, conservatives, particularly those kind of in the AM radio set, why do you keep focusing on Bernie instead of Hillary? Because he is a movement candidate. And people specifically my age who are far, far removed from the authoritarian left and socialism or communism, they buy this myth that if you put "democratic" before "socialism," which is what Bernie Sanders does, all of a sudden it's different from socialism. So it's a 20-minute video, but pretty in-depth. It's designed to point out why that, of course, is folly.

GLENN: That's not usually what you do, Steven. Is it?

STEVEN: Sometimes. I'm a man of many -- I wouldn't say -- talents. I'm a man who tries many things. It's just so irking. You know, I show up at colleges. And unlike these other people, you know, they'll stir the pot. They'll try and have protests so they can post it on -- like, I just want to do comedy, right? I just want to do jokes.

But I have so many stand up and go, "What about corporate system, man? And the top 1 percent, the fact that the countries like Norway and Denmark -- I want to my head to explode, and I want to spontaneously combust. So I say, "Okay. Before I have to do this in another Q&A, at a college campus, let's make one video."

Also, you know, I was raised in it. I was raised in socialism. I experienced socialized health care. I was in Quebec. My mom still talks with the accent. People in Texas can't understand her. It's got to be addressed at some point. I hate that I have to do it. But, you know, we all have our cross to bear.

A Democratic Socialist by Any Other Name Is... A Communist

GLENN: You know, we found something -- a fact about democratic socialism, that the term was actually coined by Lenin.

STEVEN: Yeah.

GLENN: And the revolution of the Soviet Union, which we found it incredible. There's no difference.

STEVEN: No, no. Exactly. As a matter of fact, we include that in the video. We have paper-cut-out Lenin, which some people find offensive. But I just find Lenin offensive. So, you know, different strokes.

We talk about how he says, yeah, that the goal of socialism is necessarily communism. For some reason -- you know, my producer, for all of his faults, over there at your affiliate, he had a brilliant point: Democratic socialism is just communism with a check box. You can paint it any way you want. For some reason, people buy this.

And one thing, Glenn, as someone who lives in the United States and was raised in Canada, whenever they say, "We are the only nation -- the United States is the only country that does not have, insert socialist program here." I go, "Yeah, that's how we became America. There's the whole point. We left because of that. We wanted to say we're the only guys we do this." How is that an argument?

But the problem is, younger people believe it. Something fascinating, Glenn, I wrote about this on the website, just a couple days ago. Cuban-Americans, like Ted Cruz's dad, right? Were either Republicans or they saw you as communists. For the first time, Cuban-Americans now lean Democratic. You know why? Because these kids are two generations removed, and they just never experienced communism or socialism. So to them, they hear Bernie, he's going to give you free money, free college, and free health care, all of a sudden it sounds good because you put "democratic" before it. It's mind-numbing.

Misappropriation of Culture

GLENN: Talk about the kid with the dreadlocks. The white kid with the dreadlocks that was pummeled by -- because you're not part of the black culture, kid.

STEVEN: Yeah. Neither was the band Corn. I mean, new metal in the early 2000s, all it was was dreads swinging around on MTV. It was horrible. This is an actual story: A black story who works -- she works at this campus, grabs and physically assaults this white student for racial appropriation because he's wearing cornrows. Now, I know there must be more to this story. There's not. There's not. That's the story. She assaults a white kid for wearing cornrows because it's racist. I don't -- if someone is going to say, hey, you're white. You can't wear cornrows. Why? It's cultural appropriation. You say, well, you're black. You can't wear Levi's. I mean, we've kind of exchanged these goods for a long time. They're stylistic.

John Kasich: The Indifference Affair

GLENN: Talk to me about John Kasich. This is a guy that is -- you know, I think acting as a spoiler in the race. You seem to have a real hatred for John Kasich.

STEVEN: Come on. That's not fair. You know what nobody has ever said -- nobody ever pops their head off their pillow and says, "I hate John Kasich."

GLENN: Right. There's no passion for John Kasich. So -- but you have called him an insufferable fraud.

PAT: I don't know. I'm pretty close to hatred for John Kasich. I'm teetering on the brink. Yeah.

STEVEN: I don't know.

JEFFY: Did you know that his dad was a mailman?

PAT: Yeah, and that almost pushes me over the edge.

GLENN: With John Kasich, I happen to agree with Steven. You can't really hate him because nobody really loves him. The opposite of hate is -- well, no, the opposite of love is indifference. So I guess you would have to hate him. Because, I mean, most people really are -- you look at John Kasich and he doesn't bring anything out of you.

STEVEN: No, no. He doesn't. You know, it's 2016, right. You know what you never hear anybody say if you're talking politics with your. Damn that Gerald Ford, it doesn't come up. It's same thing. I don't think people think of John Kasich, outside of the fact that right now the guy is just a major, major turd. The way he is acting it is unbelievable. There's no way for him to win.

He was sitting there. And people were going, "Why is Ted Cruz trying to bump you out of the election right now?" No, you're bumping yourself out -- by the way, incredible loser. You have to give it to John Kasich. When it comes to losing, the guy is tough. I don't know how he figured it out, but he does incredibly well. My problem is with the fakery. It's the fakery of Donald Trump acting like he's tough. Oh, I'm very tough. Someone should just respond with, okay. Fifteen push-ups. Let's start with that. Just call him out on it. When John Kasich says I'm a nice guy, everything he's ever done has been underhanded. And if you look at the article that I wrote, by all personal accounts, John McCain, Newt Gingrich, John Kasich is an act in person. Nothing about him is true. That's my problem. Outside of that, I never think of the guy.

The Glass Ceiling for Trump

GLENN: Steven, Pat said that he thought that Donald Trump hit his high-water mark, and it's all downhill from here because of everything he's done in the last two weeks is just to crap all over women.

STEVEN: Yeah. Listen, I don't know if this is borderline appropriate. Because the only reason it ever occurred to me -- and, Glenn, I know the only time it ever occurred to me to think of Heidi Cruz, to rate her attractiveness, is when Donald Trump imply she was ugly. So I did my due diligence. I did research. And I thought, "Ted seems to be swinging above his batting average. I think she's a good-looking woman."

GLENN: That's not -- I think five mistresses is so ridiculous. The guy just doesn't have enough game. Come on. It's Ted Cruz.

STEVEN: Yeah, that's my point. He should be grateful he has Heidi.

GLENN: Yeah.

STEVEN: If Ted wanted, he could buy them. Mail-order brides. Or you could buy portions of them. It just doesn't impress me that much. I also don't think it's a fair comparison. Let's compare these wives. And people typed in, Ted Cruz first wife, and Donald Trump first wife. And it looked like the female gremlin, not a great movie. But more character. Jim Hanson, PGI. I think the first wife comparison is more valid.

The fall of Lehman Brothers in 2008 marked the largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history and economic collapse was felt throughout the world. But now China's own version of Lehman Brothers, Evergrande, is teetering closer and closer to that edge, too. On the radio program Thursday, Glenn Beck gave the latest update and predicted how it will affect Asian markets and what it could mean for America's economy.

Glenn explained why he believes a major collapse that is happening now in China will have a cascading effect into a "controlled collapse," a managed decline that will dramatically change America's economy and the way we all live.

"You will not recognize your lifestyle. Hear me," Glenn warned. "And that's not a right-left thing. That's a right-wrong thing. We're on the wrong track. I'm telling you now, there's new information and you are not going to recognize the American lifestyle. ... It could happen tomorrow. It could happen in five years from now, but it will happen. We are headed for a very different country. One where you don't have the rights that you have. And you certainly don't have the economic privileges that Americans are used to."

"The same thing that happened in 2008 is now happening in China," Glenn continued. "This time, it's going to take everything down. When it collapses, it will take everything down."

Watch the video below to hear Glenn break down the details:

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Justin Haskins, editorial director of the Heartland Institute, joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to expose a shocking conversation between two Great Reset proponents — Klaus Schwab, chairman of the World Economic Forum, and Christine Lagarde, president of the European Central Bank (Europe's equivalent to the Fed).

The way Schwab and Lagarde discuss the role central banks should play in establishing societal norms, determining your way of life, and defending against potential crisis is proof that the Great Reset is upon us, Justin explained. And the scariest part is that they're not even trying to hide it. The entire, unbelievable conversation has been published on the WEF website, which you can read here.

Glenn read an excerpt from the conversation:

Christine Lagarde: At the ECB, we have now wrapped up and concluded our strategy review, which was the first one in 17 years. And I was blessed to have an entire Governing Council unanimously agree that the fight against climate change should be one of the considerations that we take when we determine monetary policy. So at least the European Central Bank is of the view that climate change is an important component in order to decide on monetary policy. ...

Can we arrive at that trade-off between fighting climate change, preserving biodiversity and yet securing enough growth to respond to legitimate demands of the population? And my first answer, Klaus, to be firm, is that to have a way of life, we need life. And in the medium term, we do have major threats on the horizon that could cause the death of hundreds of thousands of people. So we have to think life, first. We have to think way of life, second. ...

So we have to think life, first. We have to think way of life, second. How can we come together to make sure that we secure the first priority, which is life, and also protect the way of life that people have? And make sure that the cost of it is not so high for some people, that they just cannot tolerate it. I think that the trade-off that we reach will probably require some redistribution, because it is clear that the most exposed people, the less privileged people are those that are going to need some help.

"Do you understand, America, what that means?" Glenn exclaimed. "You have elites, that you never elected, that are having these meetings ... deciding what is a legitimate need for you. And telling you that your needs are going to go away in your lifetime. You may not see a time where you get wants again. Just your needs are going to be addressed. Am I reading this wrong?"

"This is absolutely what is being said here," Justin agreed. "She's very clear that we need to make sure that way of life is second to life. We have to save all these people, hundreds of thousands of people are going to die from this supposedly existential threat of climate change. And their wants, and their desires, and their quality of living, all of that has to come second."

"This is a central bank saying this. This is not an elected official, who is accountable directly to the people. This is a central bank saying, we're going to print money. We're going to use monetary policy, to impose these ideas, to rework society in order to accomplish our goals," Justin added, addressing Lagarde's call for "some redistribution."

Will Great Reset elites — not elected by the U.S. — soon be dictating to the rest of the world? Watch the video clip below to hear Glenn and Justin break it down:

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First comes the "crisis," then comes the expansion. The federal government is seizing on the January 6 Capitol riot to take carte blanche to do whatever it wants and weaponize the event to further empower the new overlords of our country — the intelligence community.

On Glenn TV Wednesday, Glenn Beck reveals what's happening with the U.S. Capitol Police and argues they've morphed into a new arm of the intelligence apparatus, boosted by a massive increase in funding and surveillance equipment and new offices OUTSIDE the Capitol building. The Biden administration has also hidden basic details regarding January 6. Why did officials refuse to release the name of the officer who killed Ashli Babbitt? Where are the 14,000-plus hours of CCTV footage? As any intelligence organization knows, it's best to operate outside the realms of oversight.

Glenn exposes the hidden hand of government that could be used to punish and destroy innocent Americans who are only guilty of holding the "wrong" political view.

Watch the full episode of "Glenn TV" below:

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The conditions in Afghanistan under the Taliban rule — for Americans, allies, Christians, women and more — continue to deteriorate, and the people there continue to plead that we will not forget them. On the radio program Monday, Glenn Beck gave an emotional update on current evacuation efforts, including the tragic story of one girl — an American passport holder — who was not rescued in time.

"I have a pit in my stomach like I haven't had in a while. What is happening in Afghanistan is both miraculous and horrendous," Glenn began. "What's going on right now one of the most amazing things I've ever personally witnessed — the evacuation of Americans, those [Afghans] who helped us, Christians that are dying, women that are under incredible conditions. I see things that I can't show you. I see the pleadings from people who are in safe houses, 'Please, don't forget us.' I see what they're being sent by the Taliban.

"If I die today, my entire life will have been worth it for what you have helped get done, in just the last three weeks. You have saved well over 5,000 people," he continued.

Fighting back tears, Glenn added, "I ask that you pray for those in the Middle East, that are in the midst of doing work, that a Moses-style miracle will happen. ... There are several people that are in dire need of medical care. Friday, we told you — along with the congressman from Oklahoma [Rep. Markwayne Mullin] who had just returned — [about] a father and two daughters that were blue passport Americans, and a mother who had a permanent residence, a Green Card. The daughter was very ill. And they thought, that if we couldn't get her out of there, that she would lose her legs. I got a call on Saturday morning, that we were too late, that she didn't lose her legs. She lost her life, waiting. There are now two Americans, instead of three."

Glenn showered his audience with gratitude, repeating that "well over 5000" lives have already been saved because of their incredible generosity, but lamented that there are still thousands more people yet to be saved.

Watch the video clip below to hear more updates from Glenn:

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To donate to these rescue efforts, visit NazareneFund.org or MercuryOne.org.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.