Glenn Laughs It Up With the Real Live Steven Crowder

You never have to wait long to get down to laughs with Steven Crowder, but he barely got a sentence out Friday on The Glenn Beck Program without letting the jokes fly.

“Do we have a clip of that, Pat?” Glenn asked co-host Pat Gray. “Let's see if we can play a clip of that. We'll get Steven on the phone. Steven, are you there?”

Crowder quickly quipped back in his typical fashion, dripping in sarcasm.

“I am here, sir. But I am not a clip.”

“I know you're not a clip,” Glenn chuckled.

With all the pleasantries out of the way, the two jumped right into finding the humor in the politics of the day – and of course socialism.

A Man of Many Talents

GLENN: Tell me about the audio here. Tell me what you did.

STEVEN: A lot of people, Republicans, conservatives, particularly those kind of in the AM radio set, why do you keep focusing on Bernie instead of Hillary? Because he is a movement candidate. And people specifically my age who are far, far removed from the authoritarian left and socialism or communism, they buy this myth that if you put "democratic" before "socialism," which is what Bernie Sanders does, all of a sudden it's different from socialism. So it's a 20-minute video, but pretty in-depth. It's designed to point out why that, of course, is folly.

GLENN: That's not usually what you do, Steven. Is it?

STEVEN: Sometimes. I'm a man of many -- I wouldn't say -- talents. I'm a man who tries many things. It's just so irking. You know, I show up at colleges. And unlike these other people, you know, they'll stir the pot. They'll try and have protests so they can post it on -- like, I just want to do comedy, right? I just want to do jokes.

But I have so many stand up and go, "What about corporate system, man? And the top 1 percent, the fact that the countries like Norway and Denmark -- I want to my head to explode, and I want to spontaneously combust. So I say, "Okay. Before I have to do this in another Q&A, at a college campus, let's make one video."

Also, you know, I was raised in it. I was raised in socialism. I experienced socialized health care. I was in Quebec. My mom still talks with the accent. People in Texas can't understand her. It's got to be addressed at some point. I hate that I have to do it. But, you know, we all have our cross to bear.

A Democratic Socialist by Any Other Name Is... A Communist

GLENN: You know, we found something -- a fact about democratic socialism, that the term was actually coined by Lenin.

STEVEN: Yeah.

GLENN: And the revolution of the Soviet Union, which we found it incredible. There's no difference.

STEVEN: No, no. Exactly. As a matter of fact, we include that in the video. We have paper-cut-out Lenin, which some people find offensive. But I just find Lenin offensive. So, you know, different strokes.

We talk about how he says, yeah, that the goal of socialism is necessarily communism. For some reason -- you know, my producer, for all of his faults, over there at your affiliate, he had a brilliant point: Democratic socialism is just communism with a check box. You can paint it any way you want. For some reason, people buy this.

And one thing, Glenn, as someone who lives in the United States and was raised in Canada, whenever they say, "We are the only nation -- the United States is the only country that does not have, insert socialist program here." I go, "Yeah, that's how we became America. There's the whole point. We left because of that. We wanted to say we're the only guys we do this." How is that an argument?

But the problem is, younger people believe it. Something fascinating, Glenn, I wrote about this on the website, just a couple days ago. Cuban-Americans, like Ted Cruz's dad, right? Were either Republicans or they saw you as communists. For the first time, Cuban-Americans now lean Democratic. You know why? Because these kids are two generations removed, and they just never experienced communism or socialism. So to them, they hear Bernie, he's going to give you free money, free college, and free health care, all of a sudden it sounds good because you put "democratic" before it. It's mind-numbing.

Misappropriation of Culture

GLENN: Talk about the kid with the dreadlocks. The white kid with the dreadlocks that was pummeled by -- because you're not part of the black culture, kid.

STEVEN: Yeah. Neither was the band Corn. I mean, new metal in the early 2000s, all it was was dreads swinging around on MTV. It was horrible. This is an actual story: A black story who works -- she works at this campus, grabs and physically assaults this white student for racial appropriation because he's wearing cornrows. Now, I know there must be more to this story. There's not. There's not. That's the story. She assaults a white kid for wearing cornrows because it's racist. I don't -- if someone is going to say, hey, you're white. You can't wear cornrows. Why? It's cultural appropriation. You say, well, you're black. You can't wear Levi's. I mean, we've kind of exchanged these goods for a long time. They're stylistic.

John Kasich: The Indifference Affair

GLENN: Talk to me about John Kasich. This is a guy that is -- you know, I think acting as a spoiler in the race. You seem to have a real hatred for John Kasich.

STEVEN: Come on. That's not fair. You know what nobody has ever said -- nobody ever pops their head off their pillow and says, "I hate John Kasich."

GLENN: Right. There's no passion for John Kasich. So -- but you have called him an insufferable fraud.

PAT: I don't know. I'm pretty close to hatred for John Kasich. I'm teetering on the brink. Yeah.

STEVEN: I don't know.

JEFFY: Did you know that his dad was a mailman?

PAT: Yeah, and that almost pushes me over the edge.

GLENN: With John Kasich, I happen to agree with Steven. You can't really hate him because nobody really loves him. The opposite of hate is -- well, no, the opposite of love is indifference. So I guess you would have to hate him. Because, I mean, most people really are -- you look at John Kasich and he doesn't bring anything out of you.

STEVEN: No, no. He doesn't. You know, it's 2016, right. You know what you never hear anybody say if you're talking politics with your. Damn that Gerald Ford, it doesn't come up. It's same thing. I don't think people think of John Kasich, outside of the fact that right now the guy is just a major, major turd. The way he is acting it is unbelievable. There's no way for him to win.

He was sitting there. And people were going, "Why is Ted Cruz trying to bump you out of the election right now?" No, you're bumping yourself out -- by the way, incredible loser. You have to give it to John Kasich. When it comes to losing, the guy is tough. I don't know how he figured it out, but he does incredibly well. My problem is with the fakery. It's the fakery of Donald Trump acting like he's tough. Oh, I'm very tough. Someone should just respond with, okay. Fifteen push-ups. Let's start with that. Just call him out on it. When John Kasich says I'm a nice guy, everything he's ever done has been underhanded. And if you look at the article that I wrote, by all personal accounts, John McCain, Newt Gingrich, John Kasich is an act in person. Nothing about him is true. That's my problem. Outside of that, I never think of the guy.

The Glass Ceiling for Trump

GLENN: Steven, Pat said that he thought that Donald Trump hit his high-water mark, and it's all downhill from here because of everything he's done in the last two weeks is just to crap all over women.

STEVEN: Yeah. Listen, I don't know if this is borderline appropriate. Because the only reason it ever occurred to me -- and, Glenn, I know the only time it ever occurred to me to think of Heidi Cruz, to rate her attractiveness, is when Donald Trump imply she was ugly. So I did my due diligence. I did research. And I thought, "Ted seems to be swinging above his batting average. I think she's a good-looking woman."

GLENN: That's not -- I think five mistresses is so ridiculous. The guy just doesn't have enough game. Come on. It's Ted Cruz.

STEVEN: Yeah, that's my point. He should be grateful he has Heidi.

GLENN: Yeah.

STEVEN: If Ted wanted, he could buy them. Mail-order brides. Or you could buy portions of them. It just doesn't impress me that much. I also don't think it's a fair comparison. Let's compare these wives. And people typed in, Ted Cruz first wife, and Donald Trump first wife. And it looked like the female gremlin, not a great movie. But more character. Jim Hanson, PGI. I think the first wife comparison is more valid.

POLL: Should Universities allow pro-Hamas protests?

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Just one day after Hamas’s surprise attack on Israel, which left over 1,400 people Israelis dead, 34 different student groups from Harvard University wrote a joint statement pinning the blame of Hamas' terrorist attack on Israel. In the following days after publishing this callous statement, these students staged a walkout and rallied in support of the Palestinians. As Glenn has discussed, this is not an isolated event, and campuses across the country have hosted similar rallies where antisemitic jargon like "we don't want no Jew state" and "globalize the intifada" is freely spewed.

Should Universities allow pro-Hamas protests?

While the Universities have not officially backed any of these rallies or student groups that organized them, they haven't stopped them either, which raises the question: should they? On one hand, these are American students in American Universities, who are protected by the First Amendment. On the other hand, history tells us how dangerous antisemitism is if left unchecked; and what of the rights of Jewish students to be safe on the campuses they pay to attend? Let us know what you think in the poll below:

Should Universities allow pro-Hamas protests? 

Would you feel safe if your child attended a University that allowed pro-Hamas protests?

 Should Universities allow pro-Israel protests?

Is pro-Hamas rhetoric protected by the First Amendment?

POLL: What do YOU think Israel should do about Gaza?

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Should Israel take over Gaza after defeating Hamas? This contentious historical question has resurfaced amid Israel's retaliatory airstrikes in Gaza following Hamas' terror attacks, which resulted in the greatest death of Jews since the Holocaust. Biden and the global elites have warned Israel against occupation of the Palestinian territory. When asked on 60 Minutes if he would support the Israeli occupation of Gaza, Biden said, “I think it would be a big mistake.” Today Glenn responded to Biden’s answer: “I don't think it's a mistake to occupy."

This has been a long-standing, polarizing issue that is now more relevant than ever, and we want to hear YOUR thoughts. Let us know in the poll below:

Would you support an Israeli occupation of Gaza?

Do you think the Israeli airstrikes in Gaza are justified?

Do you think a two-state solution is still possible?

Funding IRAN?! Here are the TOP 5 reasons Joe Biden should be IMPEACHED

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On September 12th, the House announced an official impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden with allegations of abuse of power, obstruction, and corruption. Naturally, the media quickly jumped to the President’s aid claiming that “there is no evidence to support these claims” and that the whole affair is a witch hunt.

If you’ve been listening to Glenn, you know that this is simply not the case. Biden has been committing impeachment-worthy deeds before he even stepped foot into the Oval Office—there’s no shortage of evidence to justify this inquiry. Here are 5 scathing reasons why Biden should be impeached:

He was responsible for the Afghanistan withdrawal disaster.

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The Biden administration began with the US's disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan. Under his watch, Biden left thousands of US citizens and allies stranded in the Taliban's hostile regime. Countless Afghan allies have been murdered by the Taliban due to the Biden administration's negligence.

He was involved with Hunter Biden's illicit foreign business dealings.

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There is clear evidence that Joe Biden was more than aware of his son Hunter's foreign business dealings. From suspicious money laundering through the Biden family's accounts to Joe's involvement with important business meetings within Hunter's company, there is mounting evidence to warrant an impeachment inquiry.

He lied about his involvement with Hunter's business dealings.

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Not only did Biden involve himself with his son's less-than-legal foreign business ventures, but he lied to the American people about it too, claiming he had NO KNOWLEDGE of what was going on.

He failed to protect the Southern border, and actively made it worse.

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Biden singlehandedly turned the Southern border into the worst illegal immigration crisis in US history. He reversed many policies set in place by the Trump administration, resulting in 2.3 million illegal immigrants flooding into the US under his watch, a historic high.

He sent IRAN AND HAMAS BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

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Biden reversed the Trump-era policy that halted all funds going into Iran. The Wall Street Journal revealed the smoking-gun evidence proving that Iran trained AND funded Hamas before its gruesome terror attacks against Israel. Moreover, shortly before the attacks, the Biden administration unfroze $6 BILLION dollars of Iran's assets as a part of a prisoner swap. On top of this, Biden resumed $200 million worth of "humanitarian aid" to Gaza that Trump had ended—because the money was being used to buy weapons for Hamas.

Top 5 economic milestones that show HOW BAD Bidenomics has made the economy

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From groceries to house prices, everything seems to get more expensive, and you can thank Biden for that. Glenn recently exposed the truth about 'Bidenomics' and the havoc it has wrought on the American economy. Here are five economic milestones during the Biden administration that expose the glaring track record of "Bidenomics:"

In July 2022, the inflation rate hit 9.1 percent, a 40-year record high.

In June 2022, gas hit an all time record high of $5 a gallon for the national average.

61 percent of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck as of this September.

Interest rates reached a 15-year high at 5.25 percent and are still increasing.

Americans have $1 trillion in collective credit card debt, in part due to food/staple pieces being very high.