'That Has Haunted Me' - Glenn Reveals His Biggest Personal Regret Following 9/11

Glenn shared a deeply personal regret on radio Thursday, something he's never even told his wife.

"The most personally embarrassing thing I have done since my baptism, when I promised I wouldn't be the man I used to be, came after 9/11," Glenn said.

On 9/13, just days after the devastation of 9/11, Glenn attended a meeting.

"I had a contract to do a national show, but Clear Channel, they couldn't get a hold of the guys in New York. The company was running almost locally, and the people in New York had no time to make any decisions whatsoever," Glenn recalled.

They decided to put Glenn on the air with another host who took a different approach to 9/11.

"I was speaking to the heart; he was speaking to the head. It might have been a good show, but it was not the show that I would have done. And it was very, very frustrating because it's not what I believe the country needed. I think the country needed a hug," Glenn said.

The program director wanted to repeat the show format for the next several weeks while Glenn wanted to go solo.

"I believed in that direction so strongly, and they kept going back and forth. And everybody was calm, except me. I think it was the first time Jeffy ever heard me swear," Glenn said.

He continued.

"I said, 'I don't care what the F you put on the air, but it's not going to be me. And I don't care what it is, but I am not participating in this anymore. And get somebody on the phone that understands what the hell they're doing.' And I remember the program director looked at me in horror and said, 'Do you realize why we can't get them on the phone? Do you know what it's like on the streets of New York?'" Glenn said.

After saying a few more foul things, Glenn walked out of the room.

"That has haunted me. And the reason why it happened --- and I went back and apologized to everybody --- but the reason why it happened is because all of us were at the ultimate level of stress. The pinnacle of stress," Glenn said.

The last couple of years, Glenn has experienced that same kind stress.

"I told my wife six months ago, 'Honey, I'm going to quit. I can't do it anymore. I can't take the stress anymore. My body can't take the stress anymore.' I'm at the pinnacle of my stress. Has anybody noticed that my language has gotten much worse in the last year and a half? I'm swearing now. Not all the time, but I don't usually swear," Glenn said.

Because of that stress, he's been transported back to that day on 9/13 several times --- and it's changed his behavior and course of action.

"It takes a lot of pressure on me before my walls start to get shaky. That's not good enough. At least for me. That's not good enough. I want to be the man who can be in the battlefield and rock solid. Rock solid. I am not that guy. And you know that from listening to me. Because you've heard me snap on the air. I don't like it," Glenn said.

On those days, Glenn thinks of 9/13 and the progress he still wants to make --- especially considering the contentious election we're having.

"In times of ultimate stress, the best thing we can do for each other is understand," Glenn said. "Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. We need to be the strongest, most principled people we can possibly be and hold things together as they are flying apart."

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

Featured Image: A firefighter breaks down after the World Trade Center buildings collapsed September 11, 2001 after two hijacked airplanes slammed into the twin towers in a terrorist attack. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

This was one of the first homesteads in the area in the 1880's and was just begging to be brought back to its original glory — with a touch of modern. When we first purchased the property, it was full of old stuff without any running water, central heat or AC, so needless to say, we had a huge project ahead of us. It took some vision and a whole lot of trust, but the mess we started with seven years ago is now a place we hope the original owners would be proud of.

To restore something like this is really does take a village. It doesn't take much money to make it cozy inside, if like me you are willing to take time and gather things here and there from thrift shops and little antique shops in the middle of nowhere.

But finding the right craftsman is a different story.

Matt Jensen and his assistant Rob did this entire job from sketches I made. Because he built this in his off hours it took just over a year, but so worth the wait. It wasn't easy as it was 18"out of square. He had to build around that as the entire thing we felt would collapse. Matt just reinforced the structure and we love its imperfections.

Here are a few pictures of the process and the transformation from where we started to where we are now:

​How it was

It doesn't look like much yet, but just you wait and see!

By request a photo tour of the restored cabin. I start doing the interior design in earnest tomorrow after the show, but all of the construction guys are now done. So I mopped the floors, washed the sheets, some friends helped by washing the windows. And now the unofficial / official tour.

The Property

The views are absolutely stunning and completely peaceful.

The Hong Kong protesters flocking to the streets in opposition to the Chinese government have a new symbol to display their defiance: the Stars and Stripes. Upset over the looming threat to their freedom, the American flag symbolizes everything they cherish and are fighting to preserve.

But it seems our president isn't returning the love.

Trump recently doubled down on the United States' indifference to the conflict, after initially commenting that whatever happens is between Hong Kong and China alone. But he's wrong — what happens is crucial in spreading the liberal values that America wants to accompany us on the world stage. After all, "America First" doesn't mean merely focusing on our own domestic problems. It means supporting liberal democracy everywhere.

The protests have been raging on the streets since April, when the government of Hong Kong proposed an extradition bill that would have allowed them to send accused criminals to be tried in mainland China. Of course, when dealing with a communist regime, that's a terrifying prospect — and one that threatens the judicial independence of the city. Thankfully, the protesters succeeded in getting Hong Kong's leaders to suspend the bill from consideration. But everyone knew that the bill was a blatant attempt by the Chinese government to encroach on Hong Kong's autonomy. And now Hong Kong's people are demanding full-on democratic reforms to halt any similar moves in the future.

After a generation under the "one country, two systems" policy, the people of Hong Kong are accustomed to much greater political and economic freedom relative to the rest of China. For the protesters, it's about more than a single bill. Resisting Xi Jinping and the Communist Party means the survival of a liberal democracy within distance of China's totalitarian grasp — a goal that should be shared by the United States. Instead, President Trump has retreated to his administration's flawed "America First" mindset.

This is an ideal opportunity for the United States to assert our strength by supporting democratic values abroad. In his inaugural address, Trump said he wanted "friendship and goodwill with the nations of the world" while "understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their interests first." But at what point is respecting sovereignty enabling dictatorships? American interests are shaped by the principles of our founding: political freedom, free markets, and human rights. Conversely, the interests of China's Communist Party are the exact opposite. When these values come into conflict, as they have in Hong Kong, it's our responsibility to take a stand for freedom — even if those who need it aren't within our country's borders.

Of course, that's not a call for military action. Putting pressure on Hong Kong is a matter of rhetoric and positioning — vital tenets of effective diplomacy. When it comes to heavy-handed world powers, it's an approach that can really work. When the Solidarity movement began organizing against communism in Poland, President Reagan openly condemned the Soviet military's imposition of martial law. His administration's support for the pro-democracy movement helped the Polish people gain liberal reforms from the Soviet regime. Similarly, President Trump doesn't need to be overly cautious about retribution from Xi Jinping and the Chinese government. Open, strong support for democracy in Hong Kong not only advances America's governing principles, but also weakens China's brand of authoritarianism.

After creating a commission to study the role of human rights in U.S. foreign policy, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo wrote last month that the principles of our Constitution are central "not only to Americans," but to the rest of the world. He was right — putting "America First" means being the first advocate for freedom across the globe. Nothing shows the strength of our country more than when, in crucial moments of their own history, other nations find inspiration in our flag.

Let's join the people of Hong Kong in their defiance of tyranny.

Matt Liles is a writer and Young Voices contributor from Austin, Texas.

Summer is ending and fall is in the air. Before you know it, Christmas will be here, a time when much of the world unites to celebrate the love of family, the generosity of the human spirit, and the birth of the Christ-child in Bethlehem.

For one night only at the Kingsbury Hall in Salt Lake City, on December 7th, join internationally-acclaimed radio host and storyteller Glenn Beck as he walks you through tales of Christmas in the way that only he can. There will be laughs, and there might be a few tears. But at the end of the night, you'll leave with a warm feeling in your heart and a smile on your face.

Reconnect to the true spirit of Christmas with Glenn Beck, in a storytelling tour de force that you won't soon forget.

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The general sale period will be Friday, August 16 at 10:00 AM MDT. Stay tuned to for updates. We look forward to sharing in the Christmas spirit with you!