Need to know if your Halloween costume might offend? You're in luck! The University of Massachusetts at Amherst has issued a threat-level flowchart similar to the Department of Homeland Security's terror threat advisory system. S.C.R.E.A.M. (Simple Costume Racism Evaluation and Assessment Meter) is a color-coded system with five threat levels from low to severe.
“I’ve got to give you a trigger warning. I might say something that might upset you guys,” Glenn said Friday on his radio program.
RELATED: UMass-Amherst Debuts ‘Threat Level Meter’ for Offensive Halloween Costumes
Glenn went on to describe how he might react if confronted unexpectedly with the flowchart.
"If I was walking and I saw this on a telephone pole and it was just a picture, a flyer that was just stapled up, and there was no trigger warning that on a pole there might be something offensive, I would be --- and I apologize to Polish people . . . I was not talking . . . I mean a telephone pole . . . didn't mean just to say Pol," Glenn said.
Thankfully, Pat, Stu and Jeffy were all in safe spaces which prevented them from needing counseling due to Glenn's insensitive words.
UMass Campus Reform S.C.R.E.A.M. communication.
Read below or watch the clip for answers to these questions:
• Is Pat of Polish decent?
• Should your girlfriend or wife dress as a hot white nurse or a white hot nurse?
• Did your ancestors kill anyone that would prevent you from culturally appropriating a specific costume?
• Is it cool to wear an Indian costume (assuming you're not American Indian --- and no offense if you are or aren't American Indian)?
Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:
GLENN: UMass has a flowchart now for offensive Halloween costumes.
PAT: Oh, good. Finally.
GLENN: Yeah, it's a flowchart called the simple costume racism evaluation and assessment meter. It allows students to determine if their costume is offensive, based on factors like race, historically accepted clichés, and humor. The -- I love when humor has a chart.
JEFFY: Oh. Oh, my gosh.
GLENN: You know it's funny when it has a chart from an institution.
JEFFY: Yes. They should send that down to the University of Florida --
GLENN: They should send it that to Yuck Yucks and Milk Through Your Nose, so the comedians can look at that chart before they go. On.
The results come up in a five-second color-coded area, similar to the government's terror alert level, ranking from low threat level to green to a severe level of threat in red.
PAT: Uh-oh.
GLENN: The flyers are going up around the campus. They have pictures or illustrations.
JEFFY: Oh, no.
GLENN: Hang on. I got to give everyone a trigger warning.
PAT: Oh, no, no.
JEFFY: Thank you.
GLENN: I got to give you a trigger warning. I might say something that might upset you guys.
PAT: I'm in a safe space over here. So you cannot offend me.
GLENN: Okay. I will tell you -- I'm glad I don't go to this college. Because if I was walking and I saw this on a telephone pole and it was just a picture, a flyer that was just stapled up, and there was no trigger warning that on a pole there might be something offensive, I would be -- and I apologize to Polish people. I was not talking -- I mean a telephone pole. Didn't mean just to say Pol.
PAT: Thank you for the clarification on that. I was about to become very, very offended.
GLENN: Okay. You're welcome.
The flyers around campus have pictures of illustrations of white people dressed up as Native Americans.
PAT: Oh, no. You know what that is? Cultural appropriation.
GLENN: That's exactly right. Exactly right. One reads, it's not cool. It's not like your ancestors killed them or anything.
PAT: Only it is. They're being sarcastic because our ancestors did kill them. And everything.
JEFFY: Right.
PAT: So...
GLENN: Another poster of a scantily clad woman says hyper-sexualized racism is still racism.
PAT: Hyper-sexualized racism is still racism. It is.
GLENN: What if you're a white guy and you have your girlfriend is white, and she's dressed up as a hot white nurse or a white hot nurse.
JEFFY: No, that's still hyper-sexualized though.
PAT: That's hyper-sexualized sexism -- it's sexism in that case, Glenn. I'm disappointed in you that you didn't see that. Disappointed.
GLENN: What if -- oh, boy. Other displays on cultural appropriation contradict one another. One flyer says cultural appropriation is an act of privilege. Leads to offensive, inaccurate, and stereotypical portrayals of other people's culture. Another flyer says that culture is fluid.
JEFFY: Oh.
PAT: Yeah.
Featured Image: Glenn in the Vault. By Sean Foster, taken on October 17, 2016.