If ecosex occurs without the planet's consent, has one actually raped the planet? More importantly, how does one go about having sex with the planet? Must one have a green thumb to enjoy sex with the planet?
The $64,000 question, though, has to be this: What the hell is ecosex?
"Stories like this ecosex story that was in the news yesterday, where they want to add another letter to LGBT. And it's E, and it's for people who want to have sex with the planet.
"Are you judging?" Jeffy asked.
In a split second, Glenn had his answer.
"Yeah, I am," he said. "I am. I am. You are born that way . . . you're screwed up. If you want to have sex with a pile of dirt, you're screwed up," Glenn added.
"Wow, that is hateful," Stu added.
Haters gonna hate.
Read below or watch the clip for answers to these questions:
• Can flower beds choose to have sex with you?
• How is ecosex akin to ExxonMobil raping the planet?
• Is anything ever simply considered abhorrent and creepy?
• What does ecosex have to do with the election?
• What makes it impossible for Hillary Clinton to win against Glenn's shoe?
Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:
GLENN: We have to get into ecosex. This is just bizarre. Just bizarre. And it's why, honestly, I think that Donald Trump -- I just have this feeling -- and I think it was -- Pat, was it you that said this a while back, that when people go into the booth, they're going to close that curtain, and they're going to think back on the two of them.
GLENN: And I think that most people believe that the devil -- that the lesser of two evils --
JEFFY: You bet you.
GLENN: -- is Donald Trump.
GLENN: And they're not thinking the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.
GLENN: And --
PAT: Everybody thinks --
GLENN: I think stories like this ecosex story that was in the news yesterday, where they want to add another letter to LGBT. And it's E, and it's for people who want to have sex with the planet.
JEFFY: Are you judging?
GLENN: Yeah, I am.
GLENN: Yeah, I am. I am. I am. You are born that way. You're screwed up. If you want to have sex with a pile of dirt, you're screwed up.
STU: Wow. That is hateful.
PAT: Wow. That's not okay.
STU: Because someone made a different choice, all of a sudden you say things like that.
PAT: That's not okay.
GLENN: The planet can't choose to have sex with you.
PAT: That's right. That's a discussion we need to have.
GLENN: The flower beds can't choose to have sex with you.
GLENN: And I think that they would choose not to have sex --
PAT: And so that's why they're making the statement. Because you're raping the environment just as ExxonMobil is raping the environment.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? Are you making that up, or have you read the literature? Because that's what they say.
PAT: I wouldn't be surprised.
GLENN: No, that is -- yeah, there are people that want to choose to have sex with the planet.
PAT: Come on, man.
GLENN: And it's good and it's healthy for you and it's healthy for the planet. Really? And beyond that, they're saying, "We hope that this is the debate, that the earth is not -- can't give its consent."
GLENN: Because -- because as you're raping the earth for all of its natural resources, it can't give you its consent.
PAT: Well, that's -- that's the left's argument against, you know, sex with a cow, for instance.
GLENN: Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that.
PAT: However, their reason is not the same as ours. Their reason is, virtually nothing is abhorrent and nothing is creepy. It's just that the cow can't give you consent. The cow is not consenting to that.
PAT: So for them now to say that it's okay to do this with the earth, when the earth hasn't given its consent, a little hypocritical.
GLENN: You think?
PAT: I think so.
GLENN: I think a little nuts.
PAT: That too.
GLENN: And I honestly think it's these kinds of stories that have made it impossible for Hillary Clinton to win against my shoe.
GLENN: And if anyone could screw it up, it's Donald Trump. But Donald Trump -- did you hear his speech yesterday, where he was editing himself on the campaign trail?
GLENN: Where he's talking to himself, "Don't say anything crazy. You know, just keep it steady here. Keep it steady."
GLENN: I mean, he is --
PAT: You know they've said it over and over. If he's listening to Roger at all, that's what Roger's saying.
GLENN: Roger Ails. I'm not sure if Roger Ailes -- they're in a strange relationship right now. Aren't they?
STU: Supposedly, they're not talking.
PAT: Somebody is telling him. Just because that was his mantra yesterday.
GLENN: Kellyanne Conway is probably telling him that.
STU: Yeah, I think they're all -- look, they've tried it the Trump way many times. And every time they try it, his polls go through the floor. So they're now trying to make him the most regular, basic candidate of all time.
And, you know, when you're going up against someone who is under FBI investigation, that's a very good strategy.
GLENN: Don't make any headlines.
STU: Just stay out of the way.
GLENN: Don't make a single headline.
STU: Yeah. I mean, seriously, you know, there's -- there's an article that came out about sort of the last several months of the campaign. And it was one of those sort of behind the scenes, all the aides, off the record talking. You know, and basically they made the case that Manafort had the same idea, which was, get in a hole and hide for the next four months. Make this about her, and you will be the next president.
If you talk, you will lose. But get the hell out of the way and let her win.
STU: And it's true, every time he's done it -- because I think -- you know, you make the point of, when people get behind the curtain, they're going to think, oh, well, Donald Trump. I really do believe that the American people, more than anything in the world, want to elect a Donald Trump-type of guy.
GLENN: I agree. They don't want to elect Hillary Clinton.
GLENN: And they do want to elect somebody who is going to shake things up.
STU: In theory, the plain speaking --
GLENN: Yeah, the guy who says ecosex, shut up.
STU: Shut up. Like they want that. And they want a guy who is not in politics --
PAT: Although he doesn't say that. That's not him. That's not the guy he is.
STU: No, it's not at all. This is a theoretical thing they want.
GLENN: But he's saying --
PAT: Yeah, I know that's what they want. And they're thinking, I'm going to role the dice because there's a chance he'll be better.
PAT: Based on what? I don't see the evidence.
STU: In theory, they want a guy from outside the system. And it's a question of whether Donald Trump will talk them out of it.
STU: That's been the debate this entire time: Can Donald Trump talk them out of voting for him? And so far, he's been very successful in doing that. But this FBI thing I think turns the whole thing around.
PAT: It does.
GLENN: The FBI thing and his silence.
GLENN: The FBI thing and he's not doing any -- he's not being who he is.
PAT: I'd love to see the numbers in the states where you can change your vote to how many people have actually changed their vote.
GLENN: I bet not -- I bet not a lot.
STU: It's such a weird process. I can't imagine a lot.
PAT: It's probably a hassle. Right? And people don't like hassles.
GLENN: Yeah. You've already voted, and it's not going to count anyway. It doesn't matter --
PAT: Right. That's how you blow it off.
GLENN: That's how you blow it off.
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