This is a public service announcement: Krispy Kreme blueberry doughnuts are perfectly fine just as they are, artificial flavors, colors and all. In fact, if you're expecting your doughnuts to be healthy, natural and chock-full of real fruit, you might want to make them from scratch or locate a bakery run by Millennials.
"BuzzFeed is reporting today that Krispy Kreme has been lying to us, and they're being sued. I don't even think I want to know about this. Krispy Kreme, you can keep lying to me all day long," Glenn said Wednesday on his radio program.
It's true. An overzealous, litigious-friendly health nut (yes, he's from California), shockingly discovered that there are unhealthy ingredients in doughnuts.
The host and co-hosts of The Glenn Beck Program were having none of it.
"I want more artificial blueberries! I demand it! Come on, Trump, make America great again with that," Co-host Stu Burguiere exclaimed.
Read below or watch the clip for answers to these all-natural questions:
• Are Krispy Kreme blueberry doughnuts freaking delicious or what?
• Would real blueberries ruin the freaking delicious taste of Krispy Kreme blueberry doughnuts or what?
• Should there be penalties for frivolous and nuisance lawsuits, especially as regards doughnuts?
Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:
GLENN: BuzzFeed is reporting today that Krispy Kreme has been lying to us. I -- and they're being sued. I don't even think I want to know about this. Krispy Kreme, you can keep lying to me all day long.
STU: Well, it's a ridiculous lawsuit. The guy is claiming that Krispy Kreme is doing something horrifically awful because their blueberry doughnuts, which, by the way, are freaking delicious. I just had one the other day.
GLENN: The cake doughnuts?
STU: The cake doughnuts, the blueberry cake doughnuts don't actually have real blueberries in them.
GLENN: Who thought they did?
STU: This idiot apparently thought they had real blueberries in them. Now, they're little tiny specks of blue that are colored. It's just a blueberry flavoring. But who cares? They're delicious.
JEFFY: They're doughnuts.
STU: Yeah, and he wants $5 million.
GLENN: Shut up.
JEFFY: Oh, my God.
STU: Because you didn't get real blueberries in your doughnuts?
GLENN: Shut up.
STU: You know if there were real blueberries in the doughnuts, they would be worse, and then they should be sued. I want more artificial blueberries. I demand it. Come on, Trump, make America great again with that.
GLENN: Welcome to the program. You know, we were sitting here talking about Krispy Kreme being sued. And Pat said, "They're going to throw this out." I bet you this guy gets at least $200,000.
PAT: No. They got throw it out of court. Come on.
JEFFY: No way.
GLENN: They won't. They won't.
PAT: That's ridiculous.
STU: On this one, I tend to side with Pat on that because they're going to -- this is a ridiculous claim.
PAT: If Krispy Kreme put razorblades in the doughnuts, he's got a case. Putting artificial flavoring in the doughnuts, get out of here. Get out --
GLENN: I have a completely different point of view now. I have always been the guy you fight it and fight it and fight it --
GLENN: It's not even your choice anymore. A lot of times it's the insurance companies. Krispy Kreme has an insurance company for lawsuits. It's not going to be Krispy Kreme that decides. And all that -- the only thing that decides lawsuits now, actuary tables. That's it. They just look at the tables, and they're like, "Okay. If we keep going this way, it's going to cost us this, and if there's a judgment against it, it will cost us this. We settle right now, it will cost us this. Offer him $200,000. He'll go away."
PAT: You sound like you might have some experience with that.
GLENN: I do. And it's despicable.
PAT: It is.
GLENN: It's despicable. And sometimes -- like Krispy Kreme -- Mr. Kreme -- I like to call him Krisp, but --
STU: I don't think that's --
GLENN: He may not -- they may not even have a choice. It may just go to the insurance company.
STU: Yeah, there's a first layer of litigation though --
PAT: Your lawyer goes and he says, "Your Honor, this is -- there's no merit here."
GLENN: If it's a frivolous lawsuit, we need penalties for frivolous lawsuits.
PAT: I agree with that.
STU: The question is, how do you determine --
GLENN: And nuisance lawsuits.
PAT: I agree with that.
STU: How do you determine what that is?
GLENN: I don't know. I don't --
PAT: Common sense.
GLENN: No, there's no common sense anymore.
PAT: Where you say, shut up.
GLENN: I am not one that believes -- I don't necessarily believe in the justice system anymore. I mean, I just think it's so corrupted by fancy lawyers, and there's no common sense anymore.
STU: And very unfancy lawyers, by the way. We watched something on -- it was a documentary that some guy put together. Because he kept getting sued by this group of lawyers who were -- I think it was a patent issue, if I remember correctly. And so he decided to try to figure out what this was. It had nothing to do -- he did something completely disconnected. Like, he posted something on Facebook. And this company was suing -- saying Facebook used some sort of technology that was his. So it was the company's.
So he -- he's like, "I just posted -- what are you talking about? I just posted it on Facebook. I have nothing to do with the way they set up their technology." But this guy was going to individuals who posted things on Facebook and saying, "We're suing you. We're suing you. We're suing you. We're suing you."
Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people got sued, and most of them wound up getting to that point where they couldn't fight it anymore. They didn't want to get a lawyer. So they paid out $1,000, $500, and they were getting this from all over the place, to the point where this guy decided, you know, the only thing I can do -- because it dragged -- dragged on for years -- was to go and try to investigate this. And he made a documentary of this story. And he went to offices all over the country that there weren't even lawyers in them. The places these were being filed from weren't even legitimate offices. They were just like set up to file frivolous lawsuits and hope people would settle with them. And there is an entire industry --
JEFFY: Love America.
GLENN: I have a friend who owns a company. And I'm not going to tell you anymore than this because I don't want to now be on the lawsuits. But he owns this company. Guy has sued him five separate times, all slightly different. Five separate times. Thrown out each time.
He's -- his company has been in court with the same guy for almost two years. Off and on for, like, two years.
He finally just said, "Look, I'll give you $200,000. Will you just sign this paper, say you'll never sue us again, and just go away?" Yep. And he's just going to go -- and he knows, he's just going to go -- he's going to go to another company and do the same thing. I mean, it's just obscene. It's obscene.
STU: There has to be -- that would be something that would be great if they would actually take on. I don't know what you do.
JEFFY: I don't either.
GLENN: I have to tell you, I don't think -- I think you're going to see lawsuits against the press. I think you're going to start seeing major lawsuits which will be the worst, bone-chilling thing especially for the --
PAT: There was someone who said that they were going to open up the libel laws.
JEFFY: Who was it?
GLENN: I think you're going to see it.
PAT: If he does that, you'll bet you'll see it. You'll absolutely see it.
GLENN: You will see it. And it will be bone-chilling. You will not get the news. No one will ever be challenged. Because then you want to talk about freedom of speech, it just won't -- it will not be there.
PAT: It won't exist if they do not that.
GLENN: It will not exist. It will not exist. And I think the crowds will cheer. If it was Barack Obama that did it, the crowds would cheer.
PAT: How about the little darlings that want their safe spaces, of course, they're going to cheer.
GLENN: Yep. They're going to cheer. They won't cheer now. But if it was a Democratic president, if it would happen in 2020, and, you know, whoever -- I don't even know who they have, Al Gore, as president in 2020 and he passed it, those people would cheer.
GLENN: If Donald Trump passed it, they will not cheer.
STU: This is why you have a thing called a Constitution.
GLENN: I know.
STU: Which is supposed to set guidelines that it doesn't matter if one side is pissed off or not, those things don't happen.
GLENN: Justice is supposed to be blind.
Featured Image: Krispy Kreme doughnuts are displayed in a shop in Washington, DC, on May 9, 2016. (Photo Credit: NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)