What could be more fun than spending your holiday with a U.S. government bureaucracy? Good times, right? That's just part of the Thanksgiving fun Pat, Stu and Jeffy shared Monday on The Glenn Beck Program.
Read below or watch the clip for answers to these festive questions:
• Did Pat spend his vacation in prison?
• How did Jeffy save his own life during Thanksgiving?
• Did Stu eat the equivalent in Glenn's body weight?
• How many hours does it take to legally acquire a social security card?
Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:
PAT: I was fortunate enough to spend most of my vacation with the United States government bureaucracy, which was -- I enjoy doing.
PAT: I think I've made pretty clear from time to time here, it was lovely.
STU: Really? What was the --
PAT: Well, my daughter has somehow, in one of the moves, we lost her Social Security card. And so without --
JEFFY: You can just get one of those a piece of cake.
PAT: So easy. I'm going to tell you how easy it is. It's just this easy. And we need it so that she can get a driver's license, right? She can't have her driver's license without the Social Security card.
PAT: However, she can't get the Social Security card without her driver's license. It's a wonderful system. And I had a really good time trying to deal with it because conveniently located, the Social Security office nearest me, conveniently just 45 minutes from my house.
JEFFY: Yeah, right.
STU: Oh, wow.
PAT: So a mere 45 -- so just an hour and a half round trip. And that's only a fraction of the allotted time they allow you to spend at the Social Security office.
JEFFY: Right. You want to get there early, of course.
PAT: You want to get there early. And when you do, you only get to spend an extra hour and a half waiting for the ticket. So you get your ticket --
STU: So you wait an hour and half before getting your ticket?
PAT: No. You get the ticket right away.
STU: Oh, that's great.
PAT: Oh, the ticket comes. Bang, you got that ticket in your hand, and then you take a seat if you can find one. And then you wait for your turn and your ticket to be called.
JEFFY: Do they call it, or do they have the digital numbers at the booth?
PAT: Yeah, they call it. And you walk up there like a pig to the slaughter.
Featured Image: Stu Burguiere and Jeffy Fisher on The Glenn Beck Program.