News Flash: Rudolph Was Gay Because . . . His Red Nose, Duh

The very reasonable and affable Doc Thompson filled in for Glenn on The Glenn Beck Program to set a few things straight today, Wednesday, December 21.

Read below or listen to the full segment from Hour 3 for answers to these questions:

• Who is Steve Cannon and why does Doc tell him goodnight?

• Did The Carpenters and Underdog have the same arch nemesis?

• Were you exposed to a subversive Christmas show message?

• Is Yukon Cornelius a lumbersexual?

• Are the Academy Awards gender fluid?

• How can you get a non-denominational winter holiday season DNC participation trophy?

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

DOC: Hi there. It's Doc Thompson in for Glenn Beck. Thanks so much for joining me. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all my best for a prosperous new year. I have some fantastic news for you. I have some amazing news for you.

It was this -- this time of year, I think -- I want to say Christmas Eve, when President Obama got the positive vote that he wanted that made Obamacare, that passed it in the House. And I remember I just finished up on Glenn's program. Was this 2009? I think it was 2009. I had filled in, and I got off the air. And I went to Great Lakes Mall in Mentor, Ohio, visiting family in the area.

And I remember they were counting it down. They thought they were going to have the votes. Back and forth. And I would get into the car between shopping adventures. And tune in. And I finally got the news. And I remember sitting there so defeated and upset about it. I have fantastic news for you. Today is December 21st, 2016.

We are officially one month away -- less than one month away from something spectacular that I never thought would get here, a cure for cancer.

Well, it's only a month away from yesterday, when Obama leaves office. And that means Joe Biden leaves office too. You know he's the cancer czar, right? He was charged with the task of curing cancer a year ago.

So, folks, we've got a cure for cancer coming within just -- within a month. I mean, it could be today. But it's finally here. You've waited, and it's almost here. Your patience has paid off. Joe Biden with his beakers and his test tubes getting it all done. Fantastic.

Oh, there's also some other good news. Obama is leaving office in less than a month now. Yeah, I just can't believe we're here. I was hoping for that four years. And, wow, it's turned out it was going to be eight years. And we are finally right here. That's a pretty good feeling. That's something to feel pretty good about. All right. We're going to open the phone lines. The number is 888-727-BECK. That's 888-727-BECK.

Let's go to George in Pennsylvania. George, how are you? And thanks for holding.

CALLER: Hey, Doc, I have a question for you: You keep referring every once in a while to Steve Cannon. Are you talking about the Steve Cannon from 830 WCCO in Minneapolis?

DOC: No, I am not. No, I am not. But I appreciate it.

For those of you who don't know, as I said, I'm on the -- I host the morning program on Glenn's radio network, TheBlaze Radio network, and I sign off every show just saying good night to Steve Cannon.

That is another Steve Cannon in broadcasting. But the other Steve Cannon that I'm actually referencing was also in broadcasting. And if you want, I'll give you the brief version of it.

CALLER: Please.

DOC: Would you like?

Okay. Here it is: The short version is many years ago when I first started doing talk radio, I had an opportunity to co-host a talk show station -- a talk show on WTBN in Columbus, Ohio.

I worked full-time in Cleveland. But it was a sister station. And they said, hey, you and this partner that I had could come down and audition for a weekend show. And I said, hey, cool.

So we drive down to Columbus in a couple of hours. And we would -- we'd audition. And on the first program, the very first program, we're like, I don't know, ten minutes into the broadcast, and a guy calls up, and his name is Steve. And I go, "Hey, Steve, you're on the air." And we're talking. And he's talking kind of nutty. And I'm not really understanding his point and why he's calling. And I'm looking at the producer through the little glass in the booth. And I'm giving him the, "What's going on?" And he gives me the (sound effect) and types on the little screen, the computer screen where we communicate off-air, back and forth, and he says, "That's Steve Cannon." And I was like, "You got me. I don't know. Who is that?"

And he's like, "Eh, he's a talk show host here." And I was like, "Oh, I didn't know." Again, I worked full-time in Cleveland, so I wasn't that familiar with every host on the station. And he worked late nights.

And I was like, "Oh, Steve, okay." So now I'm getting it. Not helping me. Still talking nutty.

And he starts talking nuttier and nuttier. And finally he comes out with something like, "I know who you guys are. You're scabs. You're scabs here to take jobs from the people that are already working here. I know you're auditioning. All kinds -- I mean, just melting down. Like flipping out that we're taking his job.

Now, we're not taking his job. We're auditioning for some little weekend show or whatever. But it really ticked me off because he started letting the cat out of the bag, trying to make us look bad that we were auditioning. And, you know, we didn't have a lot of experience and so on.

So I got a little frustrated. And then I said, you know what, let's just run with this. So I paused after his rant, and I just said, "Steve I'm sorry, you found out this way."

And he goes, "What?" I go, "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. We've been called in for your job. And this was our, you know, time to get acquainted with the station. So I'm sorry. I wish the program director told you. You should probably call him. You know, come on in and clean out your desk." And I just start playing into his paranoia. And he freaks out. Right?

So we finish the call, and then we spend the rest of the program, like two hours just bagging on Steve, just ripping on him, right?

And we get up to the final segment. Right? We take our last break. We come back. There's like a minute left. And right up to the last break, we just keep laying it on him, right? I'm telling stories about how he met the Carpenters who were a brother and sister group from the '70s and asked them, as one of the interview questions, how they met. And we told that story.

And I told how he looks like Simon Bar Sinister from Underdog. Right? I just cleaned his clock.

And the final statement. I was like, "All right. Thanks for joining us. We're signing off or whatever." And I just had to get one more dig in, and I was like, "So good night, Steve Cannon." And my partner goes, "Wherever you are."

CALLER: The funny thing about that is for you to even reference Simon Bar Sinister, I have to wonder how many listeners even know that that was the arch nemesis of Underdog in the cartoon. And The Carpenters. When was the last time you heard them referenced except in Christmastime?

DOC: Yes. Some very dated references there. Absolutely. Again, this was 20 years ago when this happened.

So the program director, shockingly, was not ticked off at us and invited us back. And goes, "Hey, that was pretty funny because Steve is out of his mind." And I go, "Did he call you?" Oh, yeah, he was calling me and freaking out.

So he goes, "Hey, you guys did a pretty good job. You want to come back?" And we were like, "Okay. Sure."

So we do the next show, and we wrap it up with, "Good night, Steve Cannon, wherever you are." And most of my broadcasts since then have ended that way, not that I hold a grudge or anything like that. You know, nothing like that.

So that's the Steve Cannon story. And we actually ended up burying the hatchet over the years when I would fill in and do different shows. And there were a couple of times where I would do the show before him and I would have to end with, "Good night, Steve Cannon, in the next room. Okay. Very good." So, yeah, that's basically the story. I'm kind of a jerk about it. That's -- yeah.

CALLER: Oh, hey. It's cool. It's a great story. And as for the gender fluidity thing, yeah, I got to throw the flag on that one also. That's bullcrap.

DOC: That absolutely is. I'll buy reluctantly you're a different gender, but I'm not buying the gender fluid thing.

All right, George, thanks so much. 888-727-BECK. 888-727-BECK. If you want to join the program. Or @DocThompsonshow on Twitter. If you would, please join me there. If you get a chance, folks, and you want to do some good, you're looking for a place to do some good especially around the holidays -- I mean, this is the time of year when people -- unfortunately we don't do it many times all year around, but you start thinking about being a better person. You hear the songs, good will toward men, and you start, hey, maybe I need to do a little bit more. Maybe you're somebody that only goes to church around the major holidays. So you start thinking about helping out your fellow man. If you would, please go to MercuryO-N-E.org. MercuryOne.org and donate if you can. Glenn talked about recently about going to Haiti and some of the good they did down there.

And the programs that he works on, sometimes when he's helping rescue people is through Mercury One. So, in addition to helping veterans out and their veterans fund and in addition to helping out in things like natural disasters, they also do stuff like that. So if you're looking for a place to help people, Mercury One can help you help people, if you just go to mercuryone.org. And if you donate to one of the funds, 100 percent of it goes to whatever that fund is for. Helping getting Christians out of places in the world where they're being oppressed, tortured, murdered, they have a fund for that. The Nazarene Fund. If you want to help people, natural disasters in places like West Virginia with the flooding or, you know, Louisiana, anyplace like this, the fires in Tennessee -- they have funds for that as well. Just go to MercuryO-N-E.org. And it's only a dollar too. It will help out very, very much. It's a charity I believe in. It's one of the few charities I'll actually work with because they are so reputable and the money does go to help people. So please, MercuryO-N-E.org.

Coming up next, something you probably weren't aware of. Something that your children are being exposed to, maybe your older children were exposed to years ago that has a subversive message, especially around this time of year. And I'm going to share that you at that with you coming up on the Glenn Beck Program.

[break]

DOC: Doc Thompson in for Glenn. I'll be pinch-hitting for Pat & Stu immediately following this program at TheBlaze TV. And, of course, it will be, of course, in radio form as well. Pat & Stu later on today on the Blaze Radio Network. On Twitter @DocThompsonshow.

I got a story to share with you. Something I didn't realize existed. I have a son who is a little bit older now. He's 14. I have a son who just turned two. And, Kal, you have a daughter who just turned two.

KAL: Yep.

DOC: So I need to warn you about something that I just found out about myself, I didn't realize it, but apparently Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you know, the television program, the special is full of gay propaganda.

KAL: Say what now?

DOC: It's full of gay propaganda. I didn't realize it, but a guy who wrote a column -- his name is Brian Moylan from Vulture, whatever that is, has an article called The Gay Subtext of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. And apparently there is a lot of gay subtext. If you like, I'll share some of it with you so you can be informed.

KAL: Please. Please do.

DOC: Rudolph is totally, absolutely, 100 percent Neil Patrick Harris French kissing Ricky Martin gay. That's pretty gay. That's pretty high on the gaydar.

KAL: Especially for a reindeer.

DOC: Uh-huh.

He said, "Anyone who even knows what queer theory is can tell you that the subtext of the narrative seems to be a pre-Stonewall contemplation of the power of coming out and embracing sexual minorities in a society at large."

Yeah. It goes through the film step by step. The little special there. And gives some examples. He says: For example, the film starts off at the North Pole, where traditional gender roles are quickly reinforced.

Well, you got Mrs. Claus there. She's doing the cooking. She's nagging the husband about not eating enough. Nobody wants a skinny Santa Claus. Traditional gender roles, Kal, right there. Do you dispute that?

KAL: I guess. I never read so deep into it. But okay.

DOC: Okay. See. So you're not disputing it.

He then writes, "The elves, identical in shape and apparel, are at work on Santa's toys." The boys wearing blue, the girls wearing pink.

Rudolph is born to Donner, who immediately hates his son's red nose and thinks that something so different will keep him from leading a heterosexual lifestyle where he pulls Santa's sleigh and marries a nice doe some day.

KAL: I don't see where the sexuality comes into question. I know he's worried about Rudolph's nose. But --

DOC: He's trying to hide his nose. Don't you get -- the red nose is symbolic of his homotype sexuality. It's symbolism, Kal. So you're disputing that?

KAL: I am disputing that one. I think it's a little farfetched.

DOC: So you see what happened: Your daughter is going to be exposed to this because you're unwilling to see what this guy is laying out.

KAL: It's not about gender. It's about accepting people with flaws. It's about accepting people that aren't the same as you.

DOC: That are gay. That are gay.

KAL: Why does it have to be gay? I guess you could put gay in there. But it's just about accepting people that maybe don't look the same, don't act the same.

DOC: Here's how we know it's about gay --

KAL: That's the whole Rudolph story.

DOC: This is how you know it's about the gay and catching the gay. Okay?

KAL: Oh, you can catch the gay?

DOC: Apparently. I think you can. A few more tests.

He says: Apparently, Rudolph heads to the wilderness to live alone. Remember, when they won't let him play the reindeer games. He goes to the wilderness. Lives alone. But he meets a colorful little elf who is the only elf with hair. And what does his hair look like, Kal? It's a flamboyant blond wave. He's the only one that has hair, and it's fabulous!

KAL: He's an elf. They're all flamboyant.

DOC: This is what's even more flamboyant. No, because the older -- his boss is like, Hermey wants to be a dentist. He's masculine. He's butch, right?

KAL: But they're all elves. I mean, you can question even their attire. It's very, you know, happy.

DOC: He has, as the author points out, especially red lips, a feminine-shaped face, and eyelashes that any doll in Santa's workshop would be jealous of. He speaks with a Paul Lynde cadence. Remember Paul Lynde from Hollywood Squares? He was Samantha's uncle on Bewitched. Paul Lynde.

KAL: I remember.

DOC: Yeah. Paul. What song is played when the president enters the room? Peter, send in the clowns. Paul Lynde, that's how he talked, which also shows this author is really old too, by the way.

He says he's -- he also signals as different from his professional aspirations. He wants to be a dentist, of course, rather than to be a toymaker. Nonconformity. He said, "Unlike Rudolph though, Hermey refuses to live in the closet, Kal." So he leaves Santa's workshop and heads to the wilderness himself to open up his own dental practice. You see what's going on. They're both the homotype sexuals. Hermey refuses to be in the closet. Rudolph is in the closet.

KAL: I think you're pulling at strings here.

DOC: Oh, it's not over.

He said, they encounter the lumber sexual Yukon Cornelius. You remember he throws --

KAL: Lumbersexual. What does that mean?

DOC: Lumbersexual.

KAL: Yeah, what is lumbersexual?

DOC: You remember the guy healthcare.org in the pajamas, the plaid pajamas with the cup of coffee?

KAL: I think so.

DOC: I think that's a lumbersexual. I think. I'm not sure.

KAL: So you have to wear plaid pajamas to be a lumbersexual?

DOC: Yukon Cornelius was one. That's all I know, according to him.

He said he's an older hirsute gay man, meaning hairy, who embraces an over-the-top masculinity, despite being gay. So the others are effeminate so you know they're gay. He's too masculine, so you know he's gay. Now what do you say?

KAL: Now I'm just confused.

DOC: Okay. He said the three venture off to the Island of Misfit Toys, where all the people -- all the toys there are different, and they can flourish because of their differences. They're all accepting. It's gay island.

KAL: Gay island.

DOC: That's essentially what it is. They're all freaks. They're misfits, right?

KAL: Is that like a gay version of Survivor?

DOC: Kind of. It's kind of like a gay bathhouse in the '70s in New York. Something like that. They all flourish while they're there. Outside, they got to kind of keep it in the closet, you know.

He then says, Rudolph, Hermey, and Cornelius sleep in a pink room with pink sheets and blankets, coded traditionally female. He said, this is the gay community that all of these men find after leaving the closet behind. They're all together in bed.

This is the family of their own making that they devise because their own biological families have rejected them.

Now what do you say about it?

KAL: This is ridiculous.

DOC: It's not over.

KAL: It's Rudolph.

DOC: He said: Shortly after arriving on the island, Rudolph takes off because he's still afraid that his very obvious red nose will bring wrath from the Abominable Snow Monster, who is a fanged embodiment of violent homophobia. Fumbles, bounce, and our a fanged embodiment of violent homophobia.

I'm sure when you thought of homophobia over the years, in your mind you conjure up that image of the Abominable. Right?

KAL: No, no. Homophobia does not conjure the image of an Abominable snowman to me.

DOC: Well, that's because you're not gay and you don't to have suffer what these people suffer through.

He says it shows Rudolph is promiscuous because he heads out.

KAL: Oh, come on now.

DOC: He said: And engaging in the sort of short relationships that gay men were expected to have at that time.

That's the reason he leaves, to do the hookup culture, right? Hermey wants a life-long relationship. Rudolph is just the hookup culture that they expected gay men to have back in the day. And he says, "But because this is the early '60s, the film's subtext must be below the surface. They couldn't make it too obvious.

He said, "Rudolph can't be entirely gay." He said, "Once he proves that he's macho enough to pull the sleigh, he's given a suitable reward. A woman to marry and breed with under the auspice of matrimony."

Right. Remember Clarisse?

She thinks I'm cute. She thinks I'm cute. Right? That was all a front. Clarisse is a beard, Kal. She's a beard for him!

KAL: This guy's got way too much time on his hands.

DOC: So you're not buying it after I've shared the entire thing with you?

KAL: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm not buying it. He wasn't gay --

DOC: You dispute that Fred Flintstone is not gay?

KAL: Who?

DOC: Fred Flintstone.

KAL: How could you get more macho than Fred Flintstone? Really, gay?

DOC: Okay. Kal, your unwillingness to see this stuff. I'm sorry. That's on you. I'm trying to help you out. I weep for your daughter's future, where she's going to be subjected to stuff like this, and may turn gay because of it.

[break]

DOC: Hi, there. I'm Doc Thompson. That's a better picture of me they just put up. They put that on the website earlier. I was complaining earlier about the picture. If you go to the website, you want to find out more about me, it's TheBlaze.com. Just click on channels, and you'll go down and see it. That's a horrible picture. But they just found a much better one.

I know you're not working with a lot here, but find the best one at least. So find out more about me and please follow me at the new Blaze channels, where we've got some really big things coming up after the first of the year. Some ways that I'm going to help you and your small businesses. In fact, I did right after Christmas -- or the day after Thanksgiving, rather, and I'm going to continue to promote small businesses. So if you need help, you want some free ads, some free publicity, and some things that's going to help build America, just go to TheBlaze.com. Click on channels and follow my page, please.

VOICE: Do you have someone special on your gift list? No, we mean special. Someone who hasn't shut up since the election? A special gentle soul who needs a participation trophy to feel wanted and appreciated in a seemingly unjust world? Then we have the gift for them. Put away your microaggressions, Pablo, because we're bringing the country together. DNCTrophy.com. DNCTrophy.com is the perfect place for your perfect little snowflake, who is emotionally distressed over the election. Oh, the humanity. Even when they lose, they can still get a trophy. Afraid mean old Republicans might make them get a J-O-B? Get them a DNC trophy. Do they need a safe space? Send them a DNC trophy. Are they still watching CNN? They need a trophy. And you can send it to any liberal you like. Schumer, Pelosi, Warren, it doesn't matter. A beautiful trophy that says, "You participated in the election. And although you didn't win, participation is all that matters. You're still a winner in our hearts." Yes, a DNC trophy will make your liberal friends feel better instantly. You can buy one or 100 because this is America. And we can do that again. Making America great, one trophy at a time. DNC trophy. Get your buttercup one today at DNCTrophy.com. DNCTrophy.com.

DOC: Uh-huh. Okay. That's a lot of fun, but we're really trying to do some good here. So if you go to DNCTrophy.com, you'll have the opportunity to do something nice for somebody.

Well, there are a lot of people that are still upset about the election. I mean, still got people on college campuses with safe spaces, people as they head home for the holidays saying they can't even sit at the dinner table with their parents because they feel so bad about the Trump election. They can't do it. These little snowflakes are so upset.

And I figure, what better way to help them out and make them feel better as the participation trophy generation, than to give them a participation trophy for the 2016 election?

So this is your opportunity to give somebody you know that is a little snowflake that feels so horrible, something that is going to make them feel better. And that's a participation trophy. Sure, you lost. But, no, no, you didn't. If you had fun, you won. Here's your participation trophy.

The trophy is at DNCTrophy.com. Eleven bucks. That's it. You can send one to anybody you know. You can buy one and then give it to them if you like. And this is something that they'll see and they'll say, "You know what, I thought we were keeping score, but apparently we weren't because I have this beautiful little trophy that I participated in the election. I thought I lost because Hillary got elected. And where was Bernie? He didn't get it either." No, no, you participated in the election, so you should feel good about yourself. It has a beautiful little snowflake at the top. You can see the picture just by going to DNCTrophy.com. We're also going to send a whole bunch of them to members of the DNC.

Harry Reid. Nancy Pelosi. Chuck Schumer. If you want to order one to send to them, we'll go ahead and send one out to them as well. We want to send them out just before the inauguration because a little less than one month from today, one month from yesterday, they're going to have a really, really bad day. When they're at the capital and Trump steps up and gets sworn in, they may completely melt down. These little individual perfect little snowflakes who got participation trophies for doing nothing may cease to exist. And I think this may embolden them and brighten their day a little bit to say, "Hey, yeah, Trump got elected, but you participated in the election." And the same thing with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. It's going to be very bad for them. And I know you're a very caring person and want to do what's right and bring America together. So send them a participation trophy.

If you had fun, you won. Just go to DNCTrophy.com. And so imagine Chuck Schumer right before the inauguration opens up the big box of, not just one, but participation trophies from all across America. Imagine if he got like 30 of them. Chuck, you tried so hard to get Hillary elected, but you participated. Here's 100 participation trophies. And Nancy Pelosi too. You participated, Nancy. Debbie what's her name Schultz, you participated too.

Now, if you send one to them, as designated by the website, we can ship those off in bulk, and there's no shipping fee. So you get free shipping on that if you want to send one to any of the designated people, the head of the DNC, just go ahead and click on it, and we'll send one off. It's only 11 bucks.

You do have to pay some shipping, if you want one yourself. And depending on where you live in America, it's a little heavier, so it could be a little bit more. But it's not going to be crazy expensive. Usually come in around 20 bucks or so total, with shipping. So what a great little thing you can do for somebody.

Kal, isn't that nice? Giving people participation trophies. Something. I think we've been doing it wrong all this time. We've been battling instead of saying, no, no, you're okay. Here's your trophy.

KAL: This way, no one is left out. Everybody feels like they're a part of something.

DOC: Right. Right. That's uniting America. You got the people who supported Trump, and you say, "Hey, I supported Trump. Great. I'm victorious today." And the rest of the people that didn't, you say, "Hey, I participated."

Now, here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to leave one on Glenn's desk because he participated in the 2016 election. No, he didn't support. And I didn't support Trump either. I mean, I liked some of his ideas. And I understand why the people did support him. But I too participated.

Now, I'm not part of the participation trophy generation, and I'm okay with the election. It's certainly better than Obama and way better than Hillary Clinton. So I'm okay. And I think Glenn has come to terms with it. But just in case, I'm going to go ahead and leave one for him. Isn't that nice of me?

KAL: Very nice. Very thoughtful.

DOC: Right. So I'm going to tweet out a link to it.

KAL: You might get some misunderstanding there.

DOC: What do you mean? What do you mean? What can you misunderstand? In what way?

KAL: He might think that you're possibly being, I don't know, a bit --

DOC: Oh. You think he'll think that I'm not being genuine in this? Giving him the business a little bit?

KAL: Yes. Yes. Just a little bit.

DOC: I've got an idea. I will give it to him anonymously.

KAL: You're just trying to avoid your own backlash.

DOC: Okay. How about this? I leave one with Tomi. And then I say, "Hey, can you give this to Glenn?" How about that?

KAL: Well, then you're just passing off the blame to someone else.

DOC: Okay. There it is. Okay. I have to encourage Tomi to do that. That would be pretty damn funny, I think.

KAL: I think so. I think that would be a story.

DOC: A story.

(laughter)

Okay. A story. Yeah. I think it would likely probably be some sort of story as well. Maybe not the story I want. But nevertheless, imagine your family members getting that participation trophy.

Now, these likely are not in time for Christmas. Christmas is Saturday. It will not be in time. But it will be in time for the inauguration, which is what we're really going for here. Especially on inauguration day, you can have that trophy, as the little snowflake is melting down and you hand it to them. Oh, see, honey, you participated. You should feel okay. Ship one to their dorm room. Maybe send one to their dean. That would be good. DNCTrophy.com.

I just tweeted out a link to it, which is one of the things I learned today. On Twitter, it's @DocThompsonshow. Please follow me. Let's see what we got here. Lisa tweeting @DocThompsonshow, that dude is an idiot. That's like people who say Bugs Bunny is a violent cartoon.

No, Lisa, I know what you're saying. She's mentioning the Rudolph being gay thing. No, no. Bugs Bunny is not a violent cartoon, but he is a homotype sexual. You know that, Kal, right? You're with me on that one?

KAL: Now you think Bugs Bunny is gay?

DOC: Kal, how many times did he have to dress up as the girl bunny? He's at least bisexual.

KAL: He did that to fool people.

DOC: He did it to fool them? How many times have you fooled people or tried to fool them by dressing up as a female?

KAL: Well, Bugs would usually do this to, you know, to pull one over on Yosemite Sam or Elmer Fudd.

DOC: Right. How many times did he kiss them?

KAL: Again, it was just to pull one over. Bugs Bunny was not gay.

DOC: No, he was bisexual. Because he also had the little girl rabbits. Like the girl rabbit in that. So clearly bisexual. I'm fine with that. But let's call a spade a spade. Let's admit what it is.

I mean, you know, so what you're saying is if I were to dress up as a female and go around kissing on the lips my coworkers unprovoked today, just big (sound effect) Bugs Bunny-style kiss, they wouldn't think I was gay?

KAL: You're going to get a lot more than just thinking you were gay. You're liable to get hurt there. But you're not a cartoon.

DOC: When Pat comes back -- when Pat comes back, I'm going to save it for him and see what he says.

KAL: Can you videotape this? I would like to see this reaction?

DOC: By the way, I think we may have crashed the website, DNC trophies. But stay with it. It will come back up.

Yeah, I suppose we could probably videotape that. I mean, I couldn't do it to Stu though. Because he's a vegetarian. And I don't want any of the veggie -- that's just too close for me.

And, yes, Fred Flintstone, gay, clearly.

KAL: Where are you getting all this?

DOC: He hung out at that gay club. The Water Buffalo Club.

KAL: That wasn't a gay club.

DOC: That wasn't a gay club? Of course it was.

KAL: No, it was like your local kind of like VFW kind of thing.

DOC: Okay. Hung out at a bar. Pretty close.

What did he wear? He wore a dress with triangles on it.

KAL: I don't know what triangles has to do with anything. But it wasn't a dress. That was caveman garb.

DOC: Triangle is a gay symbol.

KAL: They all wore that big flowy moo moo type thing.

DOC: Okay. But it had triangles. What's with the triangles? That's a gay symbol.

KAL: What is a triangle? No, it's not. Since when is a triangle a gay symbol?

DOC: That's a gay symbol. People know. I mean, look at -- do you remember -- what was the Teletubby, that Jerry Falwell told us was gay because he had the triangle shape on the top a few years ago? Right? Because that's the gay symbol.

KAL: All right. This is news to me that shapes indicate sexuality.

DOC: Are you going to debate me on Snagglepuss? Remember the pink lion?

KAL: Okay. I might not debate you on Snagglepuss.

DOC: Okay. There it is. So you're with me on that one. He was in theater. Thin. Neat. Right? Exit stage left. So there are some. You just refuse to accept Rudolph. Got it.

KAL: Rudolph. Red. Any of these.

DOC: Okay. Here we go. James in Louisiana tweeting @DocThompsonshow: Considering Cornelius -- meaning Yukon Cornelius' love of silver and gold, I think he's more mineral sexual than lumbersexual. Okay. I'll give you that. You can just say greedy, how about that?

Troll 79, #whatIlearnedtoday, @DocThompsonshow: How much more masculine can you get ripping teeth out of people's heads?

My dentist was really gay.

Okay. Does he mean -- I guess he means --

KAL: Talking about Shrek?

DOC: I guess he means -- no. No. Hermey. Hermey. The elf, ripping the teeth out of the Bumble's mouth.

KAL: Oh, okay.

DOC: I don't know if that is or not. They did battle the Bumble. So I notice nobody disputed Hermey, right? He's likely gay, right? The little elf. You're with me on that one?

KAL: No. No. No.

DOC: Not that there's anything wrong --

KAL: Why can't we just watch cartoons? Why do we have to -- who cares?

DOC: Because it's insidious, Kal. Targeting your kids with this insidious message of homotype sexuality. It's going to turn them gay. I'm telling you.

KAL: That's ridiculous. It's just so -- I can't believe we're having this conversation.

DOC: This is the type of stuff that unfortunately we hear at times from people on the right.

KAL: They have way too much time on their hands.

DOC: Conservatives. Very religious conservatives. Yes, of course, there's propaganda out there. There's fake news. We've talked all about that. Yes, that exists at times. And you teach your kids right and wrong. Burying their head in the sand or pointing at everything is gay like your grandfather, your old elderly uncle. He's gay, I could tell. Spotting everyone who is gay. It's -- it's stupid. It's silly. And often inaccurate. So just move on. Live and let live.

I mean, you don't have to accept the lifestyle. You don't have to accept it and say it's not wrong or embrace it or whatever, but it is no greater sin than your sins. It is simply sin if you believe it is a sin, and you can accept people and still support their rights to make choices in their life. I understand people pushing a gay agenda or trying for you to make a gay wedding cake or something. And I absolutely say you should not have to do those things. But that's based on your personal freedoms for your religion. Or you just saying, "I don't like gay people or whatever." Gay people can say, "I don't like straight people." That's all fine.

Lynn Nusom (phonetic) @DocThompsonshow: Only female reindeer retain their antlers over the winter. Most male reindeer drop their antler before winter.

Does that have anything to do -- do you remember how they were -- were they antlered or not in the cartoon? They all had the little stubs? Didn't they? Is that what it was? I'm talking antlers. Okay. Well, maybe that will help us figure it out. Quick break. And we'll wrap things up on the Glenn Beck Program.

[break]

DOC: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It's Doc Thompson in for Glenn Beck today. Thanks so much for joining me. A quick programming note for you. I'll be back tomorrow as well and then Friday for the program as we head into the Christmas weekend.

I'm really hoping that in the coming year, we've got some really good things coming. I know we do here at TheBlaze. But I continue to engage people on social media about some of the divide. And it's I guess not so shocking, but -- that we have been so separated. When I look back, I understand how it happened and why it happened, but I'm hoping we can truly give each other the benefit of the doubt, even those of us that have stood together over the last eight years or 16 years against progressive ideology, give each other the benefit of the doubt and say, "Even though we took a different path, we're trying to get to the same place, even when we have failed." That's my hope.

More coming up tomorrow. Don't forget DNCTrophy.com if you get a chance. On Pat & Stu, next.

Featured Image: Screenshot from 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'

It's time for our April 29, 2019 edition of our Candidate Power Rankings. We get to add two new candidates, write about a bunch of people that have little to no chance of winning, and thank the heavens we are one day closer to the end of all of this.

In case you're new here, read our explainer about how all of this works:

The 2020 Democratic primary power rankings are an attempt to make sense out of the chaos of the largest field of candidates in global history.

Each candidate gets a unique score in at least thirty categories, measuring data like polling, prediction markets, fundraising, fundamentals, media coverage, and more. The result is a candidate score between 0-100. These numbers will change from week to week as the race changes.

The power rankings are less a prediction on who will win the nomination, and more a snapshot of the state of the race at any given time. However, early on, the model gives more weight to fundamentals and potentials, and later will begin to prioritize polling and realities on the ground.

These power rankings include only announced candidates. So, when you say "WAIT!! WHERE'S XXXXX????" Read the earlier sentence again.

If you're like me, when you read power rankings about sports, you've already skipped ahead to the list. So, here we go.

See previous editions here.

20. Wayne Messam: 13.4 (Last week: 18th / 13.4)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

A former staffer of Wayne Messam is accusing his wife of hoarding the campaign's money.

First, how does this guy have "former" staffers? He's been running for approximately twelve minutes.

Second, he finished dead last in the field in fundraising with $44,000 for the quarter. Perhaps hoarding whatever money the campaign has is not the worst idea.

His best shot at the nomination continues to be something out of the series "Designated Survivor."

Other headlines:

19. Marianne Williamson: 17.1 (Last week: 17th / 17.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Marianne Williamson would like you to pay for the sins of someone else's great, great, great grandparents. Lucky you!

Williamson is on the reparations train like most of the field, trying to separate herself from the pack by sheer monetary force.

How much of your cash does she want to spend? "Anything less than $100 billion is an insult." This is what I told the guy who showed up to buy my 1989 Ford Tempo. It didn't work then either.

Other headlines:

18. John Delaney: 19.7 (Last week: 15th / 20.3)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Good news: John Delaney brought in $12.1 million in the first quarter, enough for fifth in the entire Democratic field!

Bad news: 97% of the money came from his own bank account.

Other headlines:

17. Eric Swalwell: 20.2 (Last week: 16th / 20.2)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

The Eric Swalwell formula:

  • Identify news cycle
  • Identify typical left-wing reaction
  • Add steroids

Democrats said there was obstruction in the Mueller report. Swalwell said there “certainly" was collusion.

Democrats said surveillance of the Trump campaign was no big deal. Swalwell said there was no need to apologize even if it was.

Democrats said William Barr mishandled the release of the Mueller report. Swalwell said he must resign.

Democrats say they want gun restrictions. Swalwell wants them all melted down and the liquid metal to be poured on the heads of NRA members. (Probably.)

16. Seth Moulton: 20.6 (NEW)

Who is Seth Moulton?

No, I'm asking.

Moulton falls into the category of congressman looking to raise his profile and make his future fundraising easier— not someone who is actually competing for the presidency.

He tried to block Nancy Pelosi as speaker, so whatever help he could get from the establishment is as dry as Pelosi's eyes when the Botox holds them open for too long.

Moulton is a veteran, and his military service alone is enough to tell you that he's done more with his life than I'll ever do with mine. But it's hard to see the road to the White House for a complete unknown in a large field of knowns.

Don't take my word for it, instead read this depressing story that he's actually telling people on purpose:

"I said, you know, part of my job is take tough questions," Moulton told the gathered business and political leaders. "You can ask even really difficult questions. And there was still silence. And then finally, someone in the way back of the room raised her hand, and she said, 'Who are you?' "

Yeah. Who are you?

15. Tim Ryan: 21.6 (Last week: 14th / 20.7)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

When you're talking to less than sixteen people in Iowa one week after your launch, you don't have too much to be excited about.

Ryan did get an interview on CNN, where he also talked to less than sixteen people.

He discussed his passion for the Dave Matthews Band, solidifying a key constituency in the year 1995.

Other headlines:

14. Tulsi Gabbard: 25.2 (Last week: 14th / 25.9)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Tulsi Gabbard torched Kamala Harris in fundraising!!!!! (Among Indian-American donors.)

No word on who won the coveted handi-capable gender-neutral sodium-sensitive sub-demographic.

She received a mostly false rating for her attack on the Trump administration regarding its new policy on pork inspections, a topic not exactly leading the news cycle. Being from Hawaii, the state which leads the nation in Spam consumption, she was probably surprised when this didn't go mega viral.

Other headlines:

13. Andrew Yang: 27.2 (Last week: 12th / 27.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Yang has a few go-to lines when he's on the campaign trail, such as: "The opposite of Donald Trump is an Asian man who likes math." Another is apparently the Jeb-esque "Chant my name! Chant my name!"

Yang continues to be one of the more interesting candidates in this race, essentially running a remix of the "One Tough Nerd" formula that worked for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder.

I highly recommend listening to his interview with Ben Shapiro, where Yang earns respect as the only Democratic presidential candidate in modern history to actually show up to a challenging and in-depth interview with a knowledgeable conservative.

But hidden in the Shapiro interview is the nasty little secret of the Yang campaign. His policy prescriptions, while still very liberal, come off as far too sane for him to compete in this Stalin look-alike contest.

Other headlines:

12. Jay Inslee: 30.4 (Last week: 11th / 30.4)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

If you read the Inslee candidate profile, I said he was running a one-issue climate campaign. This week, he called for a climate change-only debate, and blamed Donald Trump for flooding in Iowa.

He also may sign the nation's first "human composting" legalization bill. He can start by composting his presidential campaign.

Other headlines:

11. John Hickenlooper: 32.2 (Last week: 10th / 32.0)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

John Hickenlooper was sick of being asked if he would put a woman on the ticket, in the 0.032% chance he actually won the nomination.

So he wondered why the female candidates weren't being asked if they would name a male VP if they won?

Seems like a logical question, but only someone who is high on tailpipe fumes would think it was okay to ask in a Democratic primary. Hickenlooper would be better served by just transitioning to a female and demanding other candidates are asked why they don't have a transgendered VP.

Other headlines:

10. Julian Castro: 35.7 (Last week: 9th / 36.2)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Lowering expectations is a useful strategy when your wife asks you to put together an Ikea end table, or when you've successfully convinced Charlize Theron to come home with you. But is it a successful campaign strategy?

Julian Castro is about to find out. He thinks the fact that everyone thinks he's crashing and burning on the campaign trail so far is an "advantage." Perhaps he can take the rest of the field by surprise on Super Tuesday when they finally realize he's actually running.

Other headlines:

9. Kirsten Gillibrand: 38.1 (Last week: 8th / 37.8)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Gillibrand wants you to know that the reason her campaign has been such a miserable failure so far, is because she called for a certain senator to step down. The problem might also be that another certain senator isn't a good presidential candidate.

She also spent the week arm wrestling, and dancing at a gay bar called Blazing Saddle. In this time of division, one thing we can all agree on: Blazing Saddle is a really solid name for a gay bar.

Other headlines:

8. Amy Klobuchar: 45.1 (Last week: 7th / 45.5)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Klobuchar is attempting a run in the moderate wing of the Democratic primary, which would be a better idea if such a wing existed.

She hasn't committed to impeaching Donald Trump and has actually voted to confirm over half of his judicial nominees. My guess is this will not be ignored by her primary opponents.

She also wants to resolve an ongoing TPS issue, which I assume means going by Peter Gibbons' desk every morning and making sure he got the memo about the new cover sheets.

Other headlines:

7. Elizabeth Warren: 45.3 (Last week: 6th / 46.0)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Elizabeth Warren is bad at everything she does while she's campaigning. I don't really even watch Game of Thrones, and the idea that Warren would write a story about how the show proves we need more powerful women makes me cringe.

Of course, more powerful people of all the 39,343 genders are welcome, but it's such a transparent attempt at jumping on the back of a pop-culture event to pander to female voters, it's sickening.

We can only hope that when she's watching Game of Thrones, she's gonna grab her a beer.

Other headlines:

6. Cory Booker: 54.9 (Last week: 5th / 55.5)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Booker is tied with Kamala Harris for the most missed Senate votes of the campaign so far. He gets criticized for this, but I think he should miss even more votes.

Booker is also pushing a national day off on Election Day—because the approximately six months of early voting allowed in every state just isn't enough.

Of course, making it easier to vote doesn't mean people are going to vote for Booker. So he's throwing trillions of dollars in bribes (my word, not his) to seal the deal.

Bookermania is in full effect, with 40 whole people showing up to his appearance in Nevada. Local press noted that the people were of "varying ages," an important distinction to most other crowds, which are entirely comprised of people with the same birthday.

Other headlines:

5. Robert Francis O’Rourke: 60.2 (Last week: 4th /62.6)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Kirsten Gillibrand gave less than 2% of her income to charity. The good news is that she gave about seven times as much as Beto O'Rourke. Robert Francis, or Bob Frank, also happens to be one of the wealthiest candidates in the race. His late seventies father-in-law has been estimated to be worth as much as $20 billion, though the number is more likely to be a paltry $500 million.

He's made millions from a family company investing in fossil fuels and pharmaceutical stocks, underpaid his taxes for multiple years, and is suing the government to lower property taxes on a family-owned shopping center.

He's also all but disappeared. It's a long race, and you don't win a nomination in April of the year before election day. If he's being frugal and figuring out what he believes, it might be a good move.

But it's notable that all the "pretty boy" hype that Bob Frank owned going into this race has been handed over to Mayor Pete. Perhaps Beto is spending his time working on curbing the sweating, the hand gestures, and the issues with jumping on counters like a feline.

Other headlines:

4. Pete Buttigieg: 62.9 (Last week: 3rd / 62.9)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

When we first put candidates in tiers earlier this year, we broke everyone into five categories from "Front Runners" to "Eh, no." In the middle is a category called "Maybe, if everything goes right," and that's where we put Pete Buttigieg.

Well, everything has gone right so far. But Mayor Pete will be interested to learn that the other 19 candidates in this race are not going to hand him this nomination. Eventually, they will start saying negative things about him (they've started the opposition research process already), and it will be interesting to see how Petey deals with the pressure. We've already seen how it has affected Beto in a similar situation.

The media has spoken endlessly about the sexual orientation of Buttigieg, but not every Democratic activist is impressed. Barney Frank thinks the main reason he's getting this amount of attention is because he is gay. And for some, being a gay man just means you're a man, which isn't good enough.

When you base your vote on a candidate's genitals, things can get confusing.

Other headlines:

3. Kamala Harris: 68.6 (Last week: 1st / 69.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

There are a couple of ways to view the Harris candidacy so far.

#1 - Harris launched with much fanfare and an adoring media. She has since lost her momentum. Mayor Pete and former Mayor Bernie have the hype, and Kamala is fading.

#2 - Harris is playing the long game. She showed she can make an impact with her launch, but realizes that a media "win" ten months before an important primary means nothing. She's working behind the scenes and cleaning up with donations, prominent supporters, and loads of celebrities to execute an Obama style onslaught.

I tend to be in category 2, but I admit that's somewhat speculative. Harris seems to be well positioned to make a serious run, locking up more than double the amount of big Clinton and Obama fundraisers than any other candidate.

One interesting policy development for Harris that may hurt her in the primary is her lack of utter disgust for the nation of Israel. There's basically one acceptable position in a Democratic primary when it comes to Israel, which is that it's a racist and terrorist state, existing only to torture innocent Palestinians.

Certainly no one is going to mistake Harris for Donald Trump, but a paragraph like this is poison to the modern Democratic primary voter:

"Her support for Israel is central to who she is," Harris' campaign communications director, Lily Adams, told McClatchy. "She is firm in her belief that Israel has a right to exist and defend itself, including against rocket attacks from Gaza."

Just portraying the rocket attacks as "attacks" is controversial these days for Democrats, and claiming they are responses to attacks indicates you think the Jeeeewwwwwwwws aren't the ones responsible for the start of every hostility. Heresy!

Someone get Kamala a copy of the 'Protocols of the Elders of Zion' before she blows her chance to run the free world.

2. Bernie Sanders: 69.2 (Last week: 2nd / 68.3)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

If Bernie Sanders hates millionaires as much as he claims, he must hate the mirror. As a millionaire, it might surprise some that he donated only 1% to charity. But it shouldn't.

It's entirely consistent with Sandersism to avoid giving to private charity. Why would you? Sanders believes the government does everything better than the private sector. He should be giving his money to the government.

Of course, he doesn't. He takes the tax breaks from the evil Trump tax plan he derides. He spends his money on fabulous vacation homes. He believes in socialism for thee, not for me.

Yes, this is enough to convince the Cardi B's of the world, all but guaranteeing a lock on the rapper-and-former-stripper-that-drugged-and-stole-from-her-prostitution-clients demographic. But can that lack of consistency hold up in front of general election voters?

If Bernie reads this and would like a path to credibility, clear out your bank account and send it here:

Gifts to the United States
U.S. Department of the Treasury
Funds Management Branch
P.O. Box 1328
Parkersburg, WV 26106-1328


Other headlines:

1. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.: 78.8 (NEW)

Joe has run for president 113 times during his illustrious career, successfully capturing the presidency in approximately zero of his campaigns.

However, when the eternally woke Barack Obama had a chance to elevate a person of color, woman, or anything from the rainbow colored QUILTBAG, he instead chose the oldest, straightest, whitest guy he could find, and our man Robinette was the beneficiary.

Biden has been through a lot, much of it of his own making. Forget about his plagiarism and propensity to get a nostril full of each passing females' hair, his dealings while vice president in both Ukraine and China are a major general election vulnerability— not to mention a legal vulnerability for his children. But hey, win the presidency and you can pardon everyone, right?

His supposed appeal to rust belt voters makes him, on paper, a great candidate to take on Trump. The Clinton loss hinged on about 40,000 voters changing their mind from Hillary to Donald in a few states—the exact areas where victory could possibly be secured by someone named "Middle Class Joe" (as he alone calls himself.)

No one loves Joe Biden more than Joe Biden, and there's a relatively convincing case for his candidacy. But we must remember this unquestionable truth: Joe Biden is not good at running for president.

He's a gaffe machine that churns out mistake after mistake, hoping only to have his flubs excused by his unending charisma. But, will that work without the use of his legendary groping abilities? Only time, and a few dozen unnamed women, will tell.

Also, yes. Robinette is really his middle name.

If only Karl Marx were alive today to see his wackiest ideas being completely paraded around. He would be so proud. I can see him now: Sprawled out on his hammock from REI, fiddling around for the last vegan potato chip in the bag as he binge-watches Academy Awards on his 70-inch smart TV. In between glances at his iPhone X (he's got a massive Twitter following), he sips Pepsi. In his Patagonia t-shirt and NIKE tennis shoes, he writes a line or two about "oppression" and "the have-nots" as part of his job for Google.

His house is loaded with fresh products from all the woke companies. In the fridge, he's got Starbucks, he loves their soy milk. He's got Ben & Jerry's in the freezer. He tells everyone that, if he shaved, he'd use Gillette, on account of the way they stand up for the Have-Nots. But, really, Marx uses Dollar Shave Club because it's cheaper, a higher quality. Secretly, he loves Chic-Fil-A. He buys all his comic books off Amazon. The truth is, he never thought people would actually try to make the whole "communism" thing work.

RELATED: SOCIALISM: This is the most important special we have done

Companies have adopted a form of socialism that is sometimes called woke capitalism. They use their status as corporations to spread a socialist message and encourage people to do their part in social justice. The idea of companies in America using socialism at all is as confusing and ridiculous as a donkey in a prom dress: How did this happen? Is it a joke? Why is nobody bursting out in laughter? How far is this actually going to go? Does someone actually believe that they can take a donkey to prom?

Companies have adopted a form of socialism that is sometimes called woke capitalism.

On the micro level, Netflix has made some socialist moves: The "like/dislike" voting system was replaced after a Netflix-sponsored stand-up special by Amy Schumer received as tidal wave of thumb-downs. This summer, Netflix will take it a step further in the name of squashing dissent by disabling user comments and reviews. And of course most of us share a Netflix account with any number of people. Beyond that, they're as capitalist as the next mega-company.

Except for one area: propaganda. Netflix has started making movie-length advertisements for socialism. They call them "documentaries," but we know better than that. The most recent example is "Knock Down the House," which comes out tomorrow. The 86-minute-long commercial for socialism follows four "progressive Democrat" women who ran in the 2018 midterms, including our favorite socialist AOC.

Here's a snippet from the movie so good that you'll have to fight the urge to wave your USSR flag around the room:

This is what the mainstream media wants you to believe. They want you to be moved. They want the soundtrack to inspire you to go out and do something.

Just look at how the mainstream media treated the recent high-gloss "documentary" about Ilhan Omar, "Time for Ilhan." It received overwhelmingly bad ratings on IMDb and other user-review platforms, but got a whopping 93% on the media aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.

This is exactly what the media wants you to think of when you hear the word socialism. Change. Empowerment. Strength. Diversity. They spend so much energy trying to make socialism cool. They gloss right over the unbelievable death toll. BlazeTV's own Matt Kibbe made a great video on this exact topic.

Any notion of socialism in America is a luxury, made possible by capitalism. The woke companies aren't actually doing anything for socialism. If they're lucky, they might get a boost in sales, which is the only thing they want anyway.

We want to show you the truth. We want to tell you the stories you won't hear anywhere else, not on Netflix, not at some movie festival. We're going to tell you what mainstream media doesn't want you to know.

Look at how much history we've lost over the years. They changed it slowly. But they had to. Because textbooks were out. So people were watching textbooks. It was printed. You would bring the book home. Mom and dad might go through it and check it out. So you had to slowly do things.

Well, they're not anymore. There are no textbooks anymore. Now, you just change them overnight. And we are losing new history. History is being changed in realtime.

RELATED: 'Good Morning Texas' joins Glenn to get an inside look at Mercury Museum

You have to write down what actually is happening and keep a journal. Don't necessarily tell everybody. Just keep a journal for what is happening right now. At some point, our kids won't have any idea of the truth. They will not have any idea of what this country was, how it really happened. Who were the good guys. Who were the bad guys. Who did what.

As Michelle Obama said. Barack knows. We have to change our history. Well, that's exactly what's happening. But it's happening at a very rapid pace.

We have to preserve our history. It is being systematically erased.

I first said this fifteen years ago, people need clay plots. We have to preserve our history as people preserved histories in ancient days, with the dead see scrolls, by putting them in caves in a clay pot. We have to preserve our history. It is being systematically erased. And I don't mean just the history of the founding of our country. I mean the history that's happening right now.

And the history that's happening right now, you're a problem if you're a conservative or a Christian. You are now a problem on the left, if you disagree and fall out of line at all. This is becoming a fascistic party. And you know what a fascist is. It doesn't matter if you're a Democrat or a Republican or an independent. If you believe it's my way or the highway, if you believe that people don't have a right to their opinion or don't have a right to their own life — you could do be a fascist.

Christianity might seem pretty well-protected in the U.S., but that's not the case in many parts of the globe.

On Easter Sunday, suicide bombers made the news for killing 290 innocent Christians in Sri Lanka and injuring another 500. On Tuesday, ISIS claimed responsibility for the massacre. Of course, the Western world mourned this tragic loss of life on a holy day of worship, but we forget that this isn't an isolated incident. Indeed, Christians are discriminated at extreme levels worldwide, and it needs to be brought to light. And whenever we do highlight brutal persecutions such as the Easter bombings in Sri Lanka, we need to call them what they are — targeted attacks against Christians. Sadly, many of our politicians are deathly afraid to do so.

RELATED: Hey media, there is absolutely a war on Christians!

A 2018 Pew Research Center study found that Christians are harassed in 144 countries — the most of any other faith — slightly outnumbering Muslims for the top of the list. Additionally, Open Doors, a non-profit organization that works to serve persecuted Christians worldwide, found in their 2019 World Watch List that over 245 million Christians are seriously discriminated against for their religious beliefs. Sadly, this translates into 4,136 Christians killed and 2,625 either arrested, sentenced, imprisoned, or detained without trial over the year-long study period. And when it comes to churches, those in Sri Lanka were merely added to a long list of 1,266 Christian buildings attacked for their religion.

These breathtaking stats receive very little coverage in the Western world. And there seems to be a profound hesitation from politicians in discussing the issue of persecution against Christians. In the case of the Sri Lanka bombings, there's even a reluctance to use the word "Christian."

After the horrific Pittsburgh Synagogue and New Zealand Mosque shootings, Democrats rightfully acknowledged the disturbing trend of targeted attacks against Jews and Muslims. But some of these same politicians refer to the Sri Lanka bombings with careless ambiguity.

So why is it so hard for our leaders to acknowledge the persecutions Christians face?

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, for instance, certainly did — calling the incursions "attacks on Easter worshippers." Understandably, the term confused and frustrated many Christians. Although, supporters of these politicians argued the term was appropriate since a recent Associated Press report used it, and it was later picked up by a variety of media outlets, including Fox News. However, as more Democrats like 2020 presidential candidate Julián Castro and Rep. Dan Kildee continued to use the phrase "Easter worshippers," it became clear that these politicians were going out of their way to avoid calling a spade a spade.

So why is it so hard for our leaders to acknowledge the persecutions Christians face? For starters, Christianity in democratic countries like the U.S. is seen differently than in devastated countries like Somalia. According to Pew Research, over 70% of Americans are Christian, with 66% of those Christians being white and 35% baby boomers. So while diverse Christians from all over the world are persecuted for their faith—in the U.S., Christians are a dominant religion full of old white people. This places Christians at the bottom of progressives' absurd intersectional totem poll, therefore leaving little sympathy for their cause. However, the differing experiences of Christians worldwide doesn't take away from the fact that they are unified in their beliefs.

By refusing to name the faith of the Sri Lankan martyrs, politicians are sending a message that they have very little, if no, concern about the growing amount of persecution against Christians worldwide.

Martyrs don't deserve to be known as "Easter worshippers." They should be known by the Christian faith they gave their lives for. Decent politicians need to call the tragedy in Sri Lanka what it is — a vicious attack on the Christian faith.

Patrick Hauf (@PatrickHauf) is a writer for Young Voices and Vice President of Lone Conservative. His work can be found in the Washington Examiner, Townhall, FEE, and more.