Glenn Asks 'Google Home' the Most Important Question Ever

With smart technology like Google Home and Alexa in your home, critical information is only a request away. This incredible voice recognition technology was put to the test Friday on The Glenn Beck Program, when Glenn asked Google Home perhaps the most important question the device will ever receive.

"Okay Google, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Glenn asked.

What answer did Google Home give?

"Let's investigate why a woodchuck might chuck would. Possibly as a defense mechanism. Woodchucks are large rodents, afraid of many other animals," Google Home replied.

Not exactly the answer Glenn was looking for. How about Alexa? Did she come up with the goods?

"A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck, if the woodchuck could chuck wood," Alexa said.

Read below or listen to the full segment for more hilarious questions and answers.

 

 

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

GLENN: Ok Google, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: Let's investigate why a woodchuck might chuck would. Possibly as a defense mechanism. Woodchucks are large rodents, afraid of many other animals.

GLENN: Ok Google, that didn't answer the question.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: Sorry. I don't know how to help with that.

JEFFY: Oh.

PAT: Huh.

JEFFY: Alexa, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck, if the woodchuck could chuck wood.

GLENN: No, that's not the answer to the question.

PAT: What?

GLENN: Ok Google, is there any study that proves how much wood a woodchuck could chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, or something like that?

VOICE: Here's some information for how much wood can a woodchuck chuck answer: According to Quora.com, according to a Cornell publication, the answer is approximately 700 pounds. Excerpt, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

PAT: Over how long a period of time?

GLENN: That's off of Quora.

PAT: That's pretty cool.

GLENN: That fast finding it on Quora.

PAT: That's amazing. Wow. I mean, I think we have a winner, don't we? Ask them both to play Michael Buble.

GLENN: Of course, they can.

PAT: Ask Alexa to play Michael Buble.

JEFFY: Alexa, can you play Michael Buble?

VOICE: I can't find songs by Michael Buble. To hear artist stations, link your iHeartRadio account using the Alexa app.

PAT: Yeah, it has to have access to something. You got to download it or --

GLENN: Ok Google, can you play Michael Buble?

VOICE: Sure. Check out this Michael Buble radio mix on Google Play music.

(music)

PAT: That is awesome.

GLENN: Wow. Ok Google, stop.

PAT: That is awesome.

GLENN: Wow.

JEFFY: It's playing the mixes though. So you still have to download some of the --

PAT: So.

GLENN: So wait. So was that not him?

JEFFY: Yes. But specific songs.

GLENN: Ok Google, play Michael Buble.

VOICE: Sure.

GLENN: Listen to this. We were all talking over each other, and it still --

PAT: It still did it (music).

GLENN: This is amazing. The end of the world is here.

JEFFY: It's the end of the world.

GLENN: This is the end of civilization. No, this is amazing technology.

PAT: Yeah.

(music)

GLENN: Oh. It's not Michael Buble. That's Frank.

PAT: It's the radio --

GLENN: Shut up.

PAT: You'll get some Michael Buble. You'll get Frank Sinatra. It's the radio mix.

GLENN: Ok Google, who is Glenn Beck? Watch this. Watch me mess with her --

VOICE: According to Wikipedia, Glenn Lee Beck is an American television and radio host, conservative political commentator, author, television network producer, filmmaker, and entrepreneur.

PAT: They even made you sound fairly --

JEFFY: I know.

GLENN: Watch this.

Ok Google, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Here's a summary from Mother Jones: Glenn Beck's greatest racist hits. He says the rally is supposed to honor Americans in uniform, as well as those who embody our nation's founding principles --

GLENN: Ok Google, stop. That didn't answer the question.

Ok Google, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Here's a summary from Mother Jones.

GLENN: Ok Google, stop. No Mother Jones. Answer the question, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't understand.

PAT: Hmm.

GLENN: It's quite easy.

Ok Google, without using Mother Jones as your source, can you tell me if Glenn Beck is a racist?

VOICE: My apologies, I don't understand.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: You stumped it there.

GLENN: Stumped it.

PAT: Stumped it there, yeah.

JEFFY: Huh.

GLENN: Kind of like the rest of the country.

JEFFY: Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist?

GLENN: That sucks, man.

PAT: Wow. Nothing.

GLENN: Nothing. Give it again.

JEFFY: Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist? Something is wrong.

GLENN: Do your old man voice. Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist!

JEFFY: It's working.

VOICE: Sorry, I didn't understand the question.

PAT: That's pretty bad.

GLENN: At least she hears. Is this the one you have?

PAT: I have the bigger version of the Alexa thing.

JEFFY: Yeah, there's a bigger one.

PAT: And I have found it's mostly worthless. I mean, it does simple things. Like what's the weather outside. You know, that kind of stuff.

GLENN: Alexa, what's the current temperature?

VOICE: Right now, in Irving, it's 35 degrees with mostly cloudy skies. Tonight's forecast has clouds, with a low of 24 --

JEFFY: Alexa, stop.

GLENN: Ok Google, what's the temperature outside?

VOICE: The temperature in Irving is 34.

GLENN: That's all I wanted. That's all I wanted.

If I wanted more -- okay, Alexa. What's the barometric pressure?

VOICE: In Irving, it's 35 degrees with mostly cloudy skies.

JEFFY: Thank you.

PAT: That's not the barometric pressure.

GLENN: That's Alexa too.

Ok Google, what's the barometric pressure?

VOICE: According to the Weather Channel, atmospheric pressure can also be measured in (inaudible), roughly equivalent to one atmosphere of pressure. One bar is equivalent to 29.6.

JEFFY: That's not it though.

PAT: Ask it what the current barometric pressure is.

GLENN: Ok Google, what is the current barometric pressure?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't know how to help with that yet.

JEFFY: Oh, see. Oh, yeah, it's so much better.

GLENN: Wow. Wow.

PAT: Not a lot of people searching for barometric pressure.

GLENN: Ok Google, when will you know the barometric pressure for Irving?

VOICE: Sorry, I can't help with that yet.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: That's --

GLENN: Ok Google, when will self-driving cars be the norm?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't understand.

GLENN: Oh, I bet you don't.

(laughter)

GLENN: Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence become the norm?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't know how to help with that yet.

PAT: You might be confusing it with the Norm. That might be tough.

GLENN: Yeah. Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence be in standard use?

VOICE: Sorry, I'm not sure how to help with that.

PAT: Ask it when it will be developed.

GLENN: Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence be fully developed?

VOICE: My apologies. I don't understand.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: They're hiding that from us. Because it is Google who is doing it.

GLENN: Google is doing it.

Ok Google, who is Ray Kurzweil?

VOICE: According to Wikipedia, Raymond Kurzweil is an American author, computer scientist, inventor, and futurist.

PAT: The voice is much smoother too with Ok Google than it is with Alexa, right? I mean, it doesn't sound as computer-ish.

GLENN: Alexa, state the alphabet.

VOICE: I wasn't able to understand the question I heard.

GLENN: Alexa, repeat the Russian alphabet!

PAT: It just shut off. It's like, "No, I'm not going to do that. Sorry."

GLENN: What the -- Ok Google. Give me the Russian alphabet.

VOICE: Here's a summary from Russian Language Lessons. Learn Russian for free. The Russian alphabet is also known as the Cyrillic alphabet. Here is what the Russian alphabet looks like. Now, let's have a look at these letters in detail.

GLENN: Well, I can't see them.

Ok Google, can you --

JEFFY: Comes up on the app.

VOICE: I found --

GLENN: Ok Google, is Vladimir Putin a good guy or a bad guy?

VOICE: Sorry, I'm not sure how to help with that. But I'm trying to learn.

GLENN: Oh, he'll teach you too. Ok Google, shut up. Thank you for that.

The House approved a new aid package for Ukraine of nearly $40 billion, which will increase the total U.S. funding for Ukraine's war efforts to a whopping $58 BILLION since March, if the package passes in the Senate. Meanwhile, DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas testified before Congress that the Biden administration is considering diverting resources away from an already-struggling VA (Department of Veterans Affairs) to deal with the border crisis.

"I am not making this up -- this will [make] your head explode," Glenn Beck said in the radio program Thursday. "They are going to divert costs; the Biden administration is taking money from the VA. Now already, our veterans get seconds, and we are [considering] diverting VA funding, and doctors, and nurses, away from our vets and to the migrants at the border, so we can take money that we don't have, $58 billion, and send it to Ukraine. What the hell is wrong with us?"

"Now, some Republican lawmakers are attempting to fight this," he added. "But, most people haven't even heard of this. This is how the atrocities at the border go unchecked. Biden sweeps it all under a rug. The mainstream media covers it up. And, meanwhile, people suffer and die. And in this case, it's not only the people on the border, but it is also our veterans in VA hospitals."

Glenn went on to detail the unreported deadly consequences of Biden’s border policies which have led to enough fentanyl to kill millions of Americans pouring across the border and terrorists having found easy paths into our country.

Watch the video clip below to hear more from Glenn:

Can't watch? Download the podcast here or listen to the episode highlights below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

Corruption, greed, and death. This is what the Left’s border policy is REALLY about, not the humanitarian effort they claim it is.

On tonight's episode of "Glenn TV," Glenn Beck exposes the groups benefitting from the border chaos under the Biden administration. A leftist money supply flows to NGOs on the border that are now taking the roles that the government should be filling with immigration and helping immigrants to flood into the U.S. Glenn asks: Why is the U.N. funding the flow of migrants to our border and subverting Congress? Why are former Biden staffers working for “non-profits” that are now getting exclusive, HIGHLY irregular multimillion-dollar border contracts? Worse than that, the consequences of Biden’s border policy have now turned deadly. National Guard members at the border are dying, fentanyl from China pours across the border, and terrorists have found an easy path to enter our country.

Finally, Glenn asks Texas Rep. Chip Roy if it’s time to impeach DHS Secretary Mayorkas for his negligence that is costing American lives.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

I can no longer relate to the modern pro-choice woman. I don’t want to shout my abortion. I want to pretend it never happened. Up until the SCOTUS leak, I had done a pretty good job of burying my 20-year secret. But the Roe v. Wade information earthquake triggered an eruption. I can no longer pretend to be ambivalent or leave it to blue-check pro-lifers to speak for me. My days of repeating the “safe, legal, and rare” mantra like a good, GenX libertarian feminist are over.

Some pro-abortion activists call their life-ending procedure “self-care,” like they just booked a hot stone massage or a facial at a spa. This is a polite euphemism many women tell themselves – not because we are cold-blooded killers, but because it’s how we survive. We HAVE to lie in order to justify what is actually taking place. Denial is a protective coating, a barrier from the truth. Remember, any woman born after Roe v. Wade has been programmed to believe that abortion is a natural-born right. “It’s legal; therefore it must not be evil. This is a medical procedure. Women do it every day.” Planned Parenthood has a nice way of describing abortion on its website: “A doctor uses a combination of medical tools and a suction device to gently take the pregnancy tissue out of your uterus.” “Gently take the tissue out.” Benign euphemisms that wrap our hearts and minds in a suffocating cocoon. Benign euphemisms to keep us in line.

I was raised in the Bible Belt and to believe that sex before marriage was the gravest of sins. You’d be better off robbing a store by pistol than to be caught fornicating with a boy. And yet I did fornicate with a boy. No boy I’d ever be proud to bring around to my parents. I never gave him the option to talk me out of it. I just demanded he pay half for the procedure and never speak of it again. I told myself it would be easier to survive the hidden shame of the abortion than wear the shame of my sin on my belly for the next nine months.

...the pill I took made an ugly, painful mess, and it didn’t finish the job.

I took the so-called “easy” way out at six weeks along and swallowed a pill I got from some abortionist who gave me the creeps. He was no medical saint like the one portrayed in “The Cider House Rules,” nobly saving women from coat-hanger abortions. The doctor in my story made a quick buck at the expense of terrified “good girls.” Years later I would learn he kept aborted fetuses in buckets and was under investigation for shady medical practices. I couldn’t leave his clinic fast enough, but at least I wouldn’t have to miss work or skip my college classes. I could finish my degree and still make my parents proud. How convenient. But the pill I took made an ugly, painful mess, and it didn’t finish the job. Now I had to see a real obstetrician, get an ultrasound, and deal with the aftermath.

This doctor’s office was nicer. It had bright lights and pink walls. Although my doctor was professional, I still felt the quiet judgment in her voice. I refused to look at the image of my tortured fetus on the screen. I knew what it would mean if I did – my feminist career ambitions would lose the battle to my soul if I looked at that baby. The doctor told me the fetus was still viable but likely mentally damaged. The “kinder” thing to do would be to finish the job at an in-clinic abortion. End the fetus’ suffering and end my own self-torture. I woke up from anesthesia to learn the abortion was complete. It’s over so quickly, but the internal conflict hangs. And hangs.

You find weird ways to cope. Not long after, I discovered an abandoned robin’s egg, still perfectly intact. I wrapped it in a sock and carried it with me for over a decade. If I couldn’t do right by my own child, maybe I could keep this unhatched egg safe. Eventually, I had to come to terms with the fact that the bird egg was dead, and I got therapy. He was a good New York psychologist. Secular, liberal, tolerant. He helped me to forgive myself, but I always knew who I really needed to ask for forgiveness …

It’s easy for a young woman with all those stockpiled eggs in her ovaries to be pro-choice. She can toss away the miracle of life like a rotten banana or a bruised apple because it is easily replaced. It wasn’t until I was forced to confront the mortality of my own fertility that I felt the full force of my regret.

But I do not write this letter to achieve redemption or to be the new face of the pro-life movement. You will not see me pleading with women outside an abortion clinic. You will not see me protesting with a cutesy, homemade sign at the March for Life. You will not see me sparring on Twitter, confronting baby-killers with cold, hard facts. For now, you will not even know my name. I suppose this is not very brave, but my story is not complete and God’s work in me is in an active state. Mine is a modest mission: Maybe if I’m honest about my own wounds, I can help other women like me to heal. Maybe I can love the terrified, knocked-up woman in the Bible Belt who believes the best worst lies our society has ever told, better than any conservative talk show host ever could.

The SCOTUS leak ripped a band-aid off a festering 50-year-old wound.

The SCOTUS leak ripped a band-aid off a festering 50-year-old wound. It’s naive to think we will fix this mess for the unborn overnight and deprogram men and women plugged into 50 years of slick, well-packaged lies. Slavery was legal in the U.S. for over 200 years before we fought a war to end it. And it was another 100 years before we ended state-sanctioned racism.

When it comes to the issue of defending innocent life, I know it’s hard to be patient. This is a clear battle of good vs. evil for many on the right, but you need allies like me – the former “safe, legal, and rare” pro-choicers who are afraid to come out of the shadows. Afraid to become a political prop in the culture wars, but willing to do the quiet missionary work in our back yards.

I hope for the day future progressives look back in horror at today’s progressives fighting to keep abortion on demand. I hope for the day the New York Times publishes the pro-life version of the 1619 Project. Maybe they’ll call it the “1973 Project,” “whose mission is to reframe the country's history by placing the consequences of abortion and the contribution of the pro-life movement at the very center of our national narrative.”

Until that day, I want to help these women to be braver than me. To see beyond their impossible tomorrow. If I had allowed someone the chance to help me be brave, I might not have had the same successful career, but I would have a 20-year-old son or daughter in whom to invest this unexplained overflow in my heart.

Dear EV drivers: Think you're safe from soaring gas prices? Think again.

Image source: (Left) Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images (Right) Video screenshot

Diesel fuel prices have surged to record levels, adding to already record-high inflation in the U.S. But most Americans don't drive cars that run on diesel, and many have turned to electric vehicles (EVs) to avoid the ever-increasing pain at the pump. So, how would diesel supply shortages — and the resulting sky-high prices — affect you or your budget?

On the radio program Monday, Glenn Beck explained why every American should be concerned about the rising cost of diesel.

"Diesel fuel is the fuel that powers the economy," Glenn began. "How does that work? Well, let's start over in China. You want something from China, you have to put it onto a big boat, a slow boat from China, and that's powered by diesel.

"Then, it gets to our docks," he continued. "You know all of those big cranes and everything else that take that crap off of the ship and then put it on the ground? Run by diesel. And then the forklifts that come and pick it up and then bring it over to the train, those run on diesel. And then the train, those engines, they run on diesel. And then the trucks that get it halfway across the country from the train where they're picked up again by the forklifts, run by diesel. Then they're put into another truck, also run by diesel."

"I sure hope all the people bragging about their electric cars as gas prices skyrocket have a backup plan for their food too. Because as diesel prices go crazy, so does the price of EVERYTHING," Glenn posted on Twitter.

Watch the video clip below to hear Glenn explain how diesel supply shortages will affect all of us:

Can't watch? Download the podcast here or listen to the episode highlights below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.