Glenn Asks 'Google Home' the Most Important Question Ever

With smart technology like Google Home and Alexa in your home, critical information is only a request away. This incredible voice recognition technology was put to the test Friday on The Glenn Beck Program, when Glenn asked Google Home perhaps the most important question the device will ever receive.

"Okay Google, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Glenn asked.

What answer did Google Home give?

"Let's investigate why a woodchuck might chuck would. Possibly as a defense mechanism. Woodchucks are large rodents, afraid of many other animals," Google Home replied.

Not exactly the answer Glenn was looking for. How about Alexa? Did she come up with the goods?

"A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck, if the woodchuck could chuck wood," Alexa said.

Read below or listen to the full segment for more hilarious questions and answers.

 

 

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

GLENN: Ok Google, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: Let's investigate why a woodchuck might chuck would. Possibly as a defense mechanism. Woodchucks are large rodents, afraid of many other animals.

GLENN: Ok Google, that didn't answer the question.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: Sorry. I don't know how to help with that.

JEFFY: Oh.

PAT: Huh.

JEFFY: Alexa, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

VOICE: A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck, if the woodchuck could chuck wood.

GLENN: No, that's not the answer to the question.

PAT: What?

GLENN: Ok Google, is there any study that proves how much wood a woodchuck could chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, or something like that?

VOICE: Here's some information for how much wood can a woodchuck chuck answer: According to Quora.com, according to a Cornell publication, the answer is approximately 700 pounds. Excerpt, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

PAT: Over how long a period of time?

GLENN: That's off of Quora.

PAT: That's pretty cool.

GLENN: That fast finding it on Quora.

PAT: That's amazing. Wow. I mean, I think we have a winner, don't we? Ask them both to play Michael Buble.

GLENN: Of course, they can.

PAT: Ask Alexa to play Michael Buble.

JEFFY: Alexa, can you play Michael Buble?

VOICE: I can't find songs by Michael Buble. To hear artist stations, link your iHeartRadio account using the Alexa app.

PAT: Yeah, it has to have access to something. You got to download it or --

GLENN: Ok Google, can you play Michael Buble?

VOICE: Sure. Check out this Michael Buble radio mix on Google Play music.

(music)

PAT: That is awesome.

GLENN: Wow. Ok Google, stop.

PAT: That is awesome.

GLENN: Wow.

JEFFY: It's playing the mixes though. So you still have to download some of the --

PAT: So.

GLENN: So wait. So was that not him?

JEFFY: Yes. But specific songs.

GLENN: Ok Google, play Michael Buble.

VOICE: Sure.

GLENN: Listen to this. We were all talking over each other, and it still --

PAT: It still did it (music).

GLENN: This is amazing. The end of the world is here.

JEFFY: It's the end of the world.

GLENN: This is the end of civilization. No, this is amazing technology.

PAT: Yeah.

(music)

GLENN: Oh. It's not Michael Buble. That's Frank.

PAT: It's the radio --

GLENN: Shut up.

PAT: You'll get some Michael Buble. You'll get Frank Sinatra. It's the radio mix.

GLENN: Ok Google, who is Glenn Beck? Watch this. Watch me mess with her --

VOICE: According to Wikipedia, Glenn Lee Beck is an American television and radio host, conservative political commentator, author, television network producer, filmmaker, and entrepreneur.

PAT: They even made you sound fairly --

JEFFY: I know.

GLENN: Watch this.

Ok Google, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Here's a summary from Mother Jones: Glenn Beck's greatest racist hits. He says the rally is supposed to honor Americans in uniform, as well as those who embody our nation's founding principles --

GLENN: Ok Google, stop. That didn't answer the question.

Ok Google, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Here's a summary from Mother Jones.

GLENN: Ok Google, stop. No Mother Jones. Answer the question, is Glenn Beck a racist?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't understand.

PAT: Hmm.

GLENN: It's quite easy.

Ok Google, without using Mother Jones as your source, can you tell me if Glenn Beck is a racist?

VOICE: My apologies, I don't understand.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: You stumped it there.

GLENN: Stumped it.

PAT: Stumped it there, yeah.

JEFFY: Huh.

GLENN: Kind of like the rest of the country.

JEFFY: Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist?

GLENN: That sucks, man.

PAT: Wow. Nothing.

GLENN: Nothing. Give it again.

JEFFY: Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist? Something is wrong.

GLENN: Do your old man voice. Alexa, is Glenn Beck a racist!

JEFFY: It's working.

VOICE: Sorry, I didn't understand the question.

PAT: That's pretty bad.

GLENN: At least she hears. Is this the one you have?

PAT: I have the bigger version of the Alexa thing.

JEFFY: Yeah, there's a bigger one.

PAT: And I have found it's mostly worthless. I mean, it does simple things. Like what's the weather outside. You know, that kind of stuff.

GLENN: Alexa, what's the current temperature?

VOICE: Right now, in Irving, it's 35 degrees with mostly cloudy skies. Tonight's forecast has clouds, with a low of 24 --

JEFFY: Alexa, stop.

GLENN: Ok Google, what's the temperature outside?

VOICE: The temperature in Irving is 34.

GLENN: That's all I wanted. That's all I wanted.

If I wanted more -- okay, Alexa. What's the barometric pressure?

VOICE: In Irving, it's 35 degrees with mostly cloudy skies.

JEFFY: Thank you.

PAT: That's not the barometric pressure.

GLENN: That's Alexa too.

Ok Google, what's the barometric pressure?

VOICE: According to the Weather Channel, atmospheric pressure can also be measured in (inaudible), roughly equivalent to one atmosphere of pressure. One bar is equivalent to 29.6.

JEFFY: That's not it though.

PAT: Ask it what the current barometric pressure is.

GLENN: Ok Google, what is the current barometric pressure?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't know how to help with that yet.

JEFFY: Oh, see. Oh, yeah, it's so much better.

GLENN: Wow. Wow.

PAT: Not a lot of people searching for barometric pressure.

GLENN: Ok Google, when will you know the barometric pressure for Irving?

VOICE: Sorry, I can't help with that yet.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: That's --

GLENN: Ok Google, when will self-driving cars be the norm?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't understand.

GLENN: Oh, I bet you don't.

(laughter)

GLENN: Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence become the norm?

VOICE: Sorry, I don't know how to help with that yet.

PAT: You might be confusing it with the Norm. That might be tough.

GLENN: Yeah. Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence be in standard use?

VOICE: Sorry, I'm not sure how to help with that.

PAT: Ask it when it will be developed.

GLENN: Ok Google, when will artificial intelligence be fully developed?

VOICE: My apologies. I don't understand.

GLENN: Wow.

PAT: They're hiding that from us. Because it is Google who is doing it.

GLENN: Google is doing it.

Ok Google, who is Ray Kurzweil?

VOICE: According to Wikipedia, Raymond Kurzweil is an American author, computer scientist, inventor, and futurist.

PAT: The voice is much smoother too with Ok Google than it is with Alexa, right? I mean, it doesn't sound as computer-ish.

GLENN: Alexa, state the alphabet.

VOICE: I wasn't able to understand the question I heard.

GLENN: Alexa, repeat the Russian alphabet!

PAT: It just shut off. It's like, "No, I'm not going to do that. Sorry."

GLENN: What the -- Ok Google. Give me the Russian alphabet.

VOICE: Here's a summary from Russian Language Lessons. Learn Russian for free. The Russian alphabet is also known as the Cyrillic alphabet. Here is what the Russian alphabet looks like. Now, let's have a look at these letters in detail.

GLENN: Well, I can't see them.

Ok Google, can you --

JEFFY: Comes up on the app.

VOICE: I found --

GLENN: Ok Google, is Vladimir Putin a good guy or a bad guy?

VOICE: Sorry, I'm not sure how to help with that. But I'm trying to learn.

GLENN: Oh, he'll teach you too. Ok Google, shut up. Thank you for that.

Would Glenn make a better bounty hunter or a Jedi? You'll have to find out in a new episode of the Beltway Banthas Podcast, where Glenn goes deep on Star Wars with host Stephen Kent. In this 45 minute discussion, Stephen and Glenn explore the political themes of the Star Wars franchise, Darth Vader's redemption from Return of the Jedi, Glenn's earliest memories of seeing the films and even debate elements of the latest Star Wars films.

If you enjoy the pop culture and nerdy discussions that Glenn, Pat and Stu get into on the radio show, you'll love this! After you're through, you can also check out Stu Burguiere's appearance on Beltway Banthas to talk Star Wars. You can find that here.


It's never too early to start your Christmas, Hanukah, or Kwanzaa shopping. Or even birthday gift shopping. Especially if that special someone in your life is a Democrat. Because at last count, pretty much all the Democrats are now running for president. And that means there has never been a wider selection of official candidate merchandise to choose from. Whether you're into environmentalism, feminism, classism, socialism, or just plain love, there is a smorgasbord of classy items that you and yours will treasure forever... or at least until the next presidential election.

We have browsed each of the candidates' online stores, so you don't have to (it only took us three months). We have curated only the finest items from each of the Democrats running for president of the United States of America. Without further ado, here is your handy progressive gift guide – or maybe your what-not-to-gift guide.

First, the bargain basement options. Hurry! Time is running out to grab your Beto bandana, or your Delaney pack of golf balls, because at this point Stu has as much of a chance as these guys of getting the nomination.

Tom Steyer, for example – is he still in the race?


https://shop.tomsteyer.com/collections/frontpage/products/tom-2020-pattern-tee


There's way too much Tom here. That shirt's got more Toms than a Caucasian dentists' convention.

For the slightly more moderate Democrat in your life, perhaps they'd like to join the "Yang Gang"…

https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/bumper-stickers/products/yanggang-decal


Andrew Yang is a lock for Math Club president…


https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/apparel/products/math-hat


But for actual president? Well, I wouldn't make plans for how you're going to spend your $1,000-per-month Yang allowance just yet.

If you happen to be shopping for your dog, may I suggest this lovely "Dogs for Delaney" dog collar…


https://store.johndelaney.com/products/dogs-for-delaney-collar


John Delaney's definitely going to secure the canine vote with this kind of outreach. As for any human votes, that's another question entirely.

How 'bout this tastefully understated "Natural Canvas" Michael Bennet tote to remind you he's also still here?...


https://store.michaelbennet.com/michael-bennet-for-america-natural-canvas-tote/


Then again, it's a tote. So, it'll end up on the floor of your closet and you won't have it with you until that one random moment when you're out somewhere and you really need a tote bag. Just like Democrats will really wish they had a moderate when we're in the middle of the socialist nightmare of their creation.

Captain Planet himself, Jay Inslee recently dropped out of the race, but don't let that stop you from picking up what may be the greatest single item sold by anyone in this race…


https://store.jayinslee.com/elvis-the-elves-the-mystery-of-the-melting-snow-by-jay-inslee/


A children's book called Elvis & the Elves: the Mystery of the Melting Snow. Written and illustrated by Governor Jay Inslee. Talk about a whodunnit – how could that snow possibly be melting? Spoiler alert: it's because of evil, white, patriarchal capitalism. And Donald Trump.

Then there's the candidate who thinks you're a moron that can't pronounce his last name: Steve Bullock...


https://shop.stevebullock.com/collections/apparel/products/emoji-t-shirt


Get it? Bull. Lock. Oh, so that's how you say the name that sounds exactly how it's spelled.

There's another candidate who also thinks you need help pronouncing his last name…


https://store.peteforamerica.com/collections/apparel/products/boot-edge-edge-t-shirt


And he is definitely right about that. So, thank you, Pete "Boot Edge Edge." That helps.

Just outside the bargain bin section, but just barely, are candidates like Julian Castro and his "El Presidente" t-shirt…


https://store.julianforthefuture.com/julian-castro-loteria-card-white-tee/


When your last name's Castro, do you really want to go with a weird drawing of yourself as if you're a classic Latin American dictator on a postage stamp?

If you prefer a little "dark psychic forces" battling in your candidates, you'll love Marianne Williamson's "Turn Love Into a Political Force" rally sign…


https://store.marianne2020.com/collections/signs/products/love-rally-sign


"Turn Love Into a Political Force" would be an even better title for a Marianne Williamson album of 80s cover songs. And if you think I'm joking, then you haven't heard Bernie Sanders' classic 1987 folk album, We Shall Overcome. That's not a joke. Well, it is a joke, but it's also a very real thing.

Now, just a quick pause to consider the peculiar baby-wear that way too many candidates are selling…

…including Elizabeth Warren's trans-pride flag onesie. Let me get this straight – we can't force any gender on a child, because that's just cruel. But we can force a political advertisement on a baby? How do we know that baby is actually a Biden or Warren fan? The child may not even be a Democrat or a Socialist at all. That baby might self-identify as a Libertarian, or Republican, or even worse – a moderate Democrat.

Now to the premium items from the premium candidates. Elizabeth Warren – the candidate with the most honesty in her advertising…


https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/apparel/products/impolite-arrogant-women-make-history-unisex-t-shirt

-AND-

https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/drinkware/products/strong-american-unions-mug


Warren's merchandise reflects the woman herself – cold and humorless (watch her "This isn't funny" clip from the last debate here at the 4:27 mark). I'm sure she's really fun once you get to know her. Then again, maybe not.

Speaking of serious women, Kamala Harris wants to be president very badly for you, the people, as you can tell from her "For the People" poster…


https://store.kamalaharris.org/poster-for-the-people/


At $29.99 though, she's sure not charging "people's" prices. Of course, she might be having to pay royalties to a certain someone for riffing on their poster. Just saying.

For the race's number one socialist, there's a whole lot of capitalism going on in Bernie Sanders' campaign. He sells so many delightful items that it's hard to choose. But we did anyway. The most random item is this hundred-dollar, black, "Art of a Political Revolution – Artists for Bernie Sanders Coaches Jacket"…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/artists-for-bernie-coaches-jacket


Coaches across the land will be clamoring for this one. You know, since coaches are such a strong Bernie-socialist demographic.

If that's a little over your budget you might consider a "Feel the Bern" fanny pack, to help store all those government freebies you'll get from Bernie…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/feel-the-bern-fanny-pack


This is the only context in which you'll ever want to hear "feel the burn" and "fanny" in the same sentence.

And finally, from front-runner Joe Biden, we have this fine "Women's Fitted Biden Polo." Which is just about the best polo description ever…


https://store.joebiden.com/collections/apparel/products/biden-polo-womens-fit


It promises the kind of snug approach that Biden loves to provide women. Even when they don't ask.

This was one of the first homesteads in the area in the 1880's and was just begging to be brought back to its original glory — with a touch of modern. When we first purchased the property, it was full of old stuff without any running water, central heat or AC, so needless to say, we had a huge project ahead of us. It took some vision and a whole lot of trust, but the mess we started with seven years ago is now a place we hope the original owners would be proud of.

To restore something like this is really does take a village. It doesn't take much money to make it cozy inside, if like me you are willing to take time and gather things here and there from thrift shops and little antique shops in the middle of nowhere.

But finding the right craftsman is a different story.

Matt Jensen and his assistant Rob did this entire job from sketches I made. Because he built this in his off hours it took just over a year, but so worth the wait. It wasn't easy as it was 18"out of square. He had to build around that as the entire thing we felt would collapse. Matt just reinforced the structure and we love its imperfections.

Here are a few pictures of the process and the transformation from where we started to where we are now:

​How it was

It doesn't look like much yet, but just you wait and see!

By request a photo tour of the restored cabin. I start doing the interior design in earnest tomorrow after the show, but all of the construction guys are now done. So I mopped the floors, washed the sheets, some friends helped by washing the windows. And now the unofficial / official tour.

The Property

The views are absolutely stunning and completely peaceful.