Big News for Animal Masseuses, Auctioneers and Fishing Guides

The market in Washington state is flooded with jobs requiring a license --- animal masseuse, auctioneer, boxing announcer, fishing guide, landscape architect, manicurist and horse floater, to name a few. They just can't keep up with the demand.

"So here's the thing, Washington is deciding now in the Washington House of Representatives . . . that they have too many people applying for a license. They don't need to have everybody applying for a license. So those occupations are targeted for de-licensing," Glenn said Wednesday on radio.

Which, of course, begs the question, Why was a license needed in the first place?"

"Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse, up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license," co-host Stu Burguiere said insightfully.

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

GLENN:  Excuse me.  Excuse me.  I have some big news.  I have some big news if you're an animal masseuse.

(chuckling)

Now, I don't know how many animal masseuses there are in our listening audience

STU:  Well, we're the number three biggest talk radio show, but we're the number two among animal masseuses.

GLENN:  Are we?  

STU:  Yes.  

GLENN:  I would like to talk to an animal masseuse.  A licensed animal masseuse.

STU:  Only licensed animal masseuses can be members of the National Association of Animal Masseuses.

GLENN:  If you are an animal masseuse, an auctioneer, a boxing announcer, a fishing guide, a landscape architect, manicurist, or horse floater --

STU:  That sounds dirty.  I'll be honest, that sounds dirty.

GLENN:  What?

STU:  I don't know what that is.  Jeffy probably does.

GLENN:  It's like a fluffer for horse porn?

STU:  That's kind of what it sounds like, right?

JEFFY:  Depending on what sites you go to?

GLENN:  What is a horse floater?

STU:  We actually did discover this on Pat and Stu the other day.  It appears to be something equivalent to a horse dentist.

PAT:  Kind of.  Yeah.

JEFFY:  They call it a horse floater because the float is the file they file the horses teeth down with.

PAT:  And why that's called a file, no one knows.

JEFFY:  We don't know.

GLENN:  So here's the thing:  Washington is deciding now -- in the Washington House of Representatives, so this is Washington state, that they have too many people applying for license.  They don't need to have everybody apply for a license.  So those --

JEFFY:  That doesn't sound like government.

GLENN:  -- occupations are targeted for de-licensing.

STU:  Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse -- up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license.

GLENN:  Or a landscape architect.

STU:  Yeah, you judge them by their work.

GLENN:  Now, hang on just a second.  Maybe a landscape architect because maybe on huge projects, they could cause mudslides or things like that, if they don't know what they're doing with the land.

PAT:  They could also mess up your property if they don't what an they're doing.

GLENN:  But that's your property.

PAT:  Yeah.

GLENN:  Depending on the scale of things.  But an animal masseuse.  Come on.  I need a license to be an animal masseuse.

GLENN:  What is that?  Is that in case the animals are walking down.  I don't know.  That looks like a shady massage parlor.

JEFFY:  Well, some states won't even let you do it if you have -- if you've gone to school for horse massage.  Then they make you go back to become a veterinarian so that you actually have a license to be able to massage the horses.  Just saying.

STU:  Jeffy knows too much about this.

GLENN:  My grandpa was a jack-of-all-trades.  He did a little bit of everything.

STU:  Horse floating?

GLENN:  He probably did.  He was a vet, but he wasn't a vet.  He was an auctioneer, but he wasn't -- I remember him doing the big cattle auctions.  And he could do the whole -- he could do all that.  He didn't have a license for that.  He was a sheriff.  He worked -- he was a machinist.  He worked for Boeing.

STU:  You do need a license to be a sheriff.

GLENN:  Yes.  No, but I'm saying --

JEFFY:  You don't.  A sheriff, that's an elected office.

PAT:  Think of all the people --

GLENN:  You don't go to school for it.

STU:  You need a badge.

GLENN:  You need a badge.

STU:  That's the thing.

GLENN:  But why would you need a license to be an animal masseuse?  Are you good at it or not?

STU:  Right.  And, first of all, who is going to answer?  The horse?  Because that's the one that would need to know.  I don't know how they would know if you're good.

JEFFY:  Well, the owner would.

STU:  How would the owner --

JEFFY:  If you have an animal, you know the animal --

GLENN:  I'll tell you, I'll sit in the stall smoking cigarettes and watching Amazon, and then someone will knock on the door, you almost done?  

Yep, almost done in here.  

STU:  And the horse is like, I know you're not going to massage.  

GLENN:  He's loving it.  He's loving it.

STU:  Another crazy one on there that we haven't mentioned is boxing announcer.

GLENN:  Yeah, why?

STU:  So you can announce football or baseball without a license, but for boxing you've got to have a license.  That's really important.  Well, you know if it's the right hand or the left hand.  You got to tell.  Take the test and let us know.  I mean, that is ridiculous.

GLENN:  See, in my -- in my -- when I first got into it -- and Pat too, and I bet you too, Jeffy.

JEFFY:  Yeah.  Yes.

GLENN:  We used to have what was called our third phone license.  Yeah, your third class license.

JEFFY:  To get in.

GLENN:  And it was a radio telephone license.  That's why it was called your third phone.  First phone meant you could fix the transmitter.  But you had to have certain basic understanding of how the transmitter worked to be able to on the radio.

STU:  Right.  Which is a bad practice which ended.

GLENN:  Yes.

PAT:  You had to know if the station was in compliance with its effective radiated power at all times.

GLENN:  Correct.  Correct.

PAT:  Now, I forget that formula a good time ago.  But they eliminated that too a long time ago.

JEFFY:  Yeah.

PAT:  Yeah.

GLENN:  So now you don't need to have a license.  But I will tell you that I talked to Ted Koppel, and he said maybe we should have a license for journalists.  Maybe you shouldn't just be able to post things online, you shouldn't just be able to start a blog without a license --

STU:  That's the progressive mindset, though, right?

JEFFY:  Right.  That sure is.

GLENN:  It is.

STU:  The mindset is, it's only legitimate if there's a license.  The government gives it its legitimacy.  And that's where the complete split it.

GLENN:  And here's the problem:  I was talking to a friend of mine.  He said, you know, Glenn, you know, I know -- you know, I know if you're into liberty and freedom, but there are some things that we all have to agree on.  For instance,, you know, schooling.  Schooling, I mean, you know, you say that you want freedom of choice to be able to go into whatever school you want.  But, Glenn, most people are not smart enough to figure out what school their kids need.

And I said, wow, is --

PAT:  Such a progressive frame of mind.  

GLENN:  Is that an awful frame of mind.  

JEFFY:  No kidding.  

PAT:  We're the parent.

GLENN:  First of all, most people -- most people absolutely are smart enough.  There's no need for them to even think about it because my job is to just put you up at the bus stop.  So I stopped thinking about it.  Do they know what's right for their kid?  Yeah, when their responsibility is given back to them and you're responsible for raising that kid.  Yeah, they are smart enough to figure that out.  And I said to that person, so what happens if I was in charge and I thought you were putting your kid in the wrong school?  Should I be able to say that you're not smart?  Well, no.  Because I'm smart enough to figure that out.

Oh.

STU:  Hmm.  And that's the thing.  Conservatism.  That thing.  And progressivism breaks down when you say -- when you think you can make that choice.  Because the point is to allow the person who actually is stupid to make the stupid choice.  That's okay.  It's their freaking life.  And if that's what they want to do with their life, they want to make continual stupid choices, as I point at Jeffy, that is okay.  You have to be able to let go and let that happen sometimes.

Would Glenn make a better bounty hunter or a Jedi? You'll have to find out in a new episode of the Beltway Banthas Podcast, where Glenn goes deep on Star Wars with host Stephen Kent. In this 45 minute discussion, Stephen and Glenn explore the political themes of the Star Wars franchise, Darth Vader's redemption from Return of the Jedi, Glenn's earliest memories of seeing the films and even debate elements of the latest Star Wars films.

If you enjoy the pop culture and nerdy discussions that Glenn, Pat and Stu get into on the radio show, you'll love this! After you're through, you can also check out Stu Burguiere's appearance on Beltway Banthas to talk Star Wars. You can find that here.


It's never too early to start your Christmas, Hanukah, or Kwanzaa shopping. Or even birthday gift shopping. Especially if that special someone in your life is a Democrat. Because at last count, pretty much all the Democrats are now running for president. And that means there has never been a wider selection of official candidate merchandise to choose from. Whether you're into environmentalism, feminism, classism, socialism, or just plain love, there is a smorgasbord of classy items that you and yours will treasure forever... or at least until the next presidential election.

We have browsed each of the candidates' online stores, so you don't have to (it only took us three months). We have curated only the finest items from each of the Democrats running for president of the United States of America. Without further ado, here is your handy progressive gift guide – or maybe your what-not-to-gift guide.

First, the bargain basement options. Hurry! Time is running out to grab your Beto bandana, or your Delaney pack of golf balls, because at this point Stu has as much of a chance as these guys of getting the nomination.

Tom Steyer, for example – is he still in the race?


https://shop.tomsteyer.com/collections/frontpage/products/tom-2020-pattern-tee


There's way too much Tom here. That shirt's got more Toms than a Caucasian dentists' convention.

For the slightly more moderate Democrat in your life, perhaps they'd like to join the "Yang Gang"…

https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/bumper-stickers/products/yanggang-decal


Andrew Yang is a lock for Math Club president…


https://shop.yang2020.com/collections/apparel/products/math-hat


But for actual president? Well, I wouldn't make plans for how you're going to spend your $1,000-per-month Yang allowance just yet.

If you happen to be shopping for your dog, may I suggest this lovely "Dogs for Delaney" dog collar…


https://store.johndelaney.com/products/dogs-for-delaney-collar


John Delaney's definitely going to secure the canine vote with this kind of outreach. As for any human votes, that's another question entirely.

How 'bout this tastefully understated "Natural Canvas" Michael Bennet tote to remind you he's also still here?...


https://store.michaelbennet.com/michael-bennet-for-america-natural-canvas-tote/


Then again, it's a tote. So, it'll end up on the floor of your closet and you won't have it with you until that one random moment when you're out somewhere and you really need a tote bag. Just like Democrats will really wish they had a moderate when we're in the middle of the socialist nightmare of their creation.

Captain Planet himself, Jay Inslee recently dropped out of the race, but don't let that stop you from picking up what may be the greatest single item sold by anyone in this race…


https://store.jayinslee.com/elvis-the-elves-the-mystery-of-the-melting-snow-by-jay-inslee/


A children's book called Elvis & the Elves: the Mystery of the Melting Snow. Written and illustrated by Governor Jay Inslee. Talk about a whodunnit – how could that snow possibly be melting? Spoiler alert: it's because of evil, white, patriarchal capitalism. And Donald Trump.

Then there's the candidate who thinks you're a moron that can't pronounce his last name: Steve Bullock...


https://shop.stevebullock.com/collections/apparel/products/emoji-t-shirt


Get it? Bull. Lock. Oh, so that's how you say the name that sounds exactly how it's spelled.

There's another candidate who also thinks you need help pronouncing his last name…


https://store.peteforamerica.com/collections/apparel/products/boot-edge-edge-t-shirt


And he is definitely right about that. So, thank you, Pete "Boot Edge Edge." That helps.

Just outside the bargain bin section, but just barely, are candidates like Julian Castro and his "El Presidente" t-shirt…


https://store.julianforthefuture.com/julian-castro-loteria-card-white-tee/


When your last name's Castro, do you really want to go with a weird drawing of yourself as if you're a classic Latin American dictator on a postage stamp?

If you prefer a little "dark psychic forces" battling in your candidates, you'll love Marianne Williamson's "Turn Love Into a Political Force" rally sign…


https://store.marianne2020.com/collections/signs/products/love-rally-sign


"Turn Love Into a Political Force" would be an even better title for a Marianne Williamson album of 80s cover songs. And if you think I'm joking, then you haven't heard Bernie Sanders' classic 1987 folk album, We Shall Overcome. That's not a joke. Well, it is a joke, but it's also a very real thing.

Now, just a quick pause to consider the peculiar baby-wear that way too many candidates are selling…

…including Elizabeth Warren's trans-pride flag onesie. Let me get this straight – we can't force any gender on a child, because that's just cruel. But we can force a political advertisement on a baby? How do we know that baby is actually a Biden or Warren fan? The child may not even be a Democrat or a Socialist at all. That baby might self-identify as a Libertarian, or Republican, or even worse – a moderate Democrat.

Now to the premium items from the premium candidates. Elizabeth Warren – the candidate with the most honesty in her advertising…


https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/apparel/products/impolite-arrogant-women-make-history-unisex-t-shirt

-AND-

https://shop.elizabethwarren.com/collections/drinkware/products/strong-american-unions-mug


Warren's merchandise reflects the woman herself – cold and humorless (watch her "This isn't funny" clip from the last debate here at the 4:27 mark). I'm sure she's really fun once you get to know her. Then again, maybe not.

Speaking of serious women, Kamala Harris wants to be president very badly for you, the people, as you can tell from her "For the People" poster…


https://store.kamalaharris.org/poster-for-the-people/


At $29.99 though, she's sure not charging "people's" prices. Of course, she might be having to pay royalties to a certain someone for riffing on their poster. Just saying.

For the race's number one socialist, there's a whole lot of capitalism going on in Bernie Sanders' campaign. He sells so many delightful items that it's hard to choose. But we did anyway. The most random item is this hundred-dollar, black, "Art of a Political Revolution – Artists for Bernie Sanders Coaches Jacket"…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/artists-for-bernie-coaches-jacket


Coaches across the land will be clamoring for this one. You know, since coaches are such a strong Bernie-socialist demographic.

If that's a little over your budget you might consider a "Feel the Bern" fanny pack, to help store all those government freebies you'll get from Bernie…


https://store.berniesanders.com/collections/apparel/products/feel-the-bern-fanny-pack


This is the only context in which you'll ever want to hear "feel the burn" and "fanny" in the same sentence.

And finally, from front-runner Joe Biden, we have this fine "Women's Fitted Biden Polo." Which is just about the best polo description ever…


https://store.joebiden.com/collections/apparel/products/biden-polo-womens-fit


It promises the kind of snug approach that Biden loves to provide women. Even when they don't ask.

This was one of the first homesteads in the area in the 1880's and was just begging to be brought back to its original glory — with a touch of modern. When we first purchased the property, it was full of old stuff without any running water, central heat or AC, so needless to say, we had a huge project ahead of us. It took some vision and a whole lot of trust, but the mess we started with seven years ago is now a place we hope the original owners would be proud of.

To restore something like this is really does take a village. It doesn't take much money to make it cozy inside, if like me you are willing to take time and gather things here and there from thrift shops and little antique shops in the middle of nowhere.

But finding the right craftsman is a different story.

Matt Jensen and his assistant Rob did this entire job from sketches I made. Because he built this in his off hours it took just over a year, but so worth the wait. It wasn't easy as it was 18"out of square. He had to build around that as the entire thing we felt would collapse. Matt just reinforced the structure and we love its imperfections.

Here are a few pictures of the process and the transformation from where we started to where we are now:

​How it was

It doesn't look like much yet, but just you wait and see!

By request a photo tour of the restored cabin. I start doing the interior design in earnest tomorrow after the show, but all of the construction guys are now done. So I mopped the floors, washed the sheets, some friends helped by washing the windows. And now the unofficial / official tour.

The Property

The views are absolutely stunning and completely peaceful.