Big News for Animal Masseuses, Auctioneers and Fishing Guides

March 15, 2017

WRITER

The market in Washington state is flooded with jobs requiring a license --- animal masseuse, auctioneer, boxing announcer, fishing guide, landscape architect, manicurist and horse floater, to name a few. They just can't keep up with the demand.

"So here's the thing, Washington is deciding now in the Washington House of Representatives . . . that they have too many people applying for a license. They don't need to have everybody applying for a license. So those occupations are targeted for de-licensing," Glenn said Wednesday on radio.

Which, of course, begs the question, Why was a license needed in the first place?"

"Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse, up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license," co-host Stu Burguiere said insightfully.

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

GLENN: Excuse me. Excuse me. I have some big news. I have some big news if you're an animal masseuse.

(chuckling)

Now, I don't know how many animal masseuses there are in our listening audience

STU: Well, we're the number three biggest talk radio show, but we're the number two among animal masseuses.

GLENN: Are we?

STU: Yes.

GLENN: I would like to talk to an animal masseuse. A licensed animal masseuse.

STU: Only licensed animal masseuses can be members of the National Association of Animal Masseuses.

GLENN: If you are an animal masseuse, an auctioneer, a boxing announcer, a fishing guide, a landscape architect, manicurist, or horse floater --

STU: That sounds dirty. I'll be honest, that sounds dirty.

GLENN: What?

STU: I don't know what that is. Jeffy probably does.

GLENN: It's like a fluffer for horse porn?

STU: That's kind of what it sounds like, right?

JEFFY: Depending on what sites you go to?

GLENN: What is a horse floater?

STU: We actually did discover this on Pat and Stu the other day. It appears to be something equivalent to a horse dentist.

PAT: Kind of. Yeah.

JEFFY: They call it a horse floater because the float is the file they file the horses teeth down with.

PAT: And why that's called a file, no one knows.

JEFFY: We don't know.

GLENN: So here's the thing: Washington is deciding now -- in the Washington House of Representatives, so this is Washington state, that they have too many people applying for license. They don't need to have everybody apply for a license. So those --

JEFFY: That doesn't sound like government.

GLENN: -- occupations are targeted for de-licensing.

STU: Now, what a ridiculous premise and world we live in, that an animal masseuse -- up until this thing supposedly passes, needed to have a license.

GLENN: Or a landscape architect.

STU: Yeah, you judge them by their work.

GLENN: Now, hang on just a second. Maybe a landscape architect because maybe on huge projects, they could cause mudslides or things like that, if they don't know what they're doing with the land.

PAT: They could also mess up your property if they don't what an they're doing.

GLENN: But that's your property.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Depending on the scale of things. But an animal masseuse. Come on. I need a license to be an animal masseuse.

GLENN: What is that? Is that in case the animals are walking down. I don't know. That looks like a shady massage parlor.

JEFFY: Well, some states won't even let you do it if you have -- if you've gone to school for horse massage. Then they make you go back to become a veterinarian so that you actually have a license to be able to massage the horses. Just saying.

STU: Jeffy knows too much about this.

GLENN: My grandpa was a jack-of-all-trades. He did a little bit of everything.

STU: Horse floating?

GLENN: He probably did. He was a vet, but he wasn't a vet. He was an auctioneer, but he wasn't -- I remember him doing the big cattle auctions. And he could do the whole -- he could do all that. He didn't have a license for that. He was a sheriff. He worked -- he was a machinist. He worked for Boeing.

STU: You do need a license to be a sheriff.

GLENN: Yes. No, but I'm saying --

JEFFY: You don't. A sheriff, that's an elected office.

PAT: Think of all the people --

GLENN: You don't go to school for it.

STU: You need a badge.

GLENN: You need a badge.

STU: That's the thing.

GLENN: But why would you need a license to be an animal masseuse? Are you good at it or not?

STU: Right. And, first of all, who is going to answer? The horse? Because that's the one that would need to know. I don't know how they would know if you're good.

JEFFY: Well, the owner would.

STU: How would the owner --

JEFFY: If you have an animal, you know the animal --

GLENN: I'll tell you, I'll sit in the stall smoking cigarettes and watching Amazon, and then someone will knock on the door, you almost done?

Yep, almost done in here.

STU: And the horse is like, I know you're not going to massage.

GLENN: He's loving it. He's loving it.

STU: Another crazy one on there that we haven't mentioned is boxing announcer.

GLENN: Yeah, why?

STU: So you can announce football or baseball without a license, but for boxing you've got to have a license. That's really important. Well, you know if it's the right hand or the left hand. You got to tell. Take the test and let us know. I mean, that is ridiculous.

GLENN: See, in my -- in my -- when I first got into it -- and Pat too, and I bet you too, Jeffy.

JEFFY: Yeah. Yes.

GLENN: We used to have what was called our third phone license. Yeah, your third class license.

JEFFY: To get in.

GLENN: And it was a radio telephone license. That's why it was called your third phone. First phone meant you could fix the transmitter. But you had to have certain basic understanding of how the transmitter worked to be able to on the radio.

STU: Right. Which is a bad practice which ended.

GLENN: Yes.

PAT: You had to know if the station was in compliance with its effective radiated power at all times.

GLENN: Correct. Correct.

PAT: Now, I forget that formula a good time ago. But they eliminated that too a long time ago.

JEFFY: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: So now you don't need to have a license. But I will tell you that I talked to Ted Koppel, and he said maybe we should have a license for journalists. Maybe you shouldn't just be able to post things online, you shouldn't just be able to start a blog without a license --

STU: That's the progressive mindset, though, right?

JEFFY: Right. That sure is.

GLENN: It is.

STU: The mindset is, it's only legitimate if there's a license. The government gives it its legitimacy. And that's where the complete split it.

GLENN: And here's the problem: I was talking to a friend of mine. He said, you know, Glenn, you know, I know -- you know, I know if you're into liberty and freedom, but there are some things that we all have to agree on. For instance,, you know, schooling. Schooling, I mean, you know, you say that you want freedom of choice to be able to go into whatever school you want. But, Glenn, most people are not smart enough to figure out what school their kids need.

And I said, wow, is --

PAT: Such a progressive frame of mind.

GLENN: Is that an awful frame of mind.

JEFFY: No kidding.

PAT: We're the parent.

GLENN: First of all, most people -- most people absolutely are smart enough. There's no need for them to even think about it because my job is to just put you up at the bus stop. So I stopped thinking about it. Do they know what's right for their kid? Yeah, when their responsibility is given back to them and you're responsible for raising that kid. Yeah, they are smart enough to figure that out. And I said to that person, so what happens if I was in charge and I thought you were putting your kid in the wrong school? Should I be able to say that you're not smart? Well, no. Because I'm smart enough to figure that out.

Oh.

STU: Hmm. And that's the thing. Conservatism. That thing. And progressivism breaks down when you say -- when you think you can make that choice. Because the point is to allow the person who actually is stupid to make the stupid choice. That's okay. It's their freaking life. And if that's what they want to do with their life, they want to make continual stupid choices, as I point at Jeffy, that is okay. You have to be able to let go and let that happen sometimes.

What is the Secret Service trying to hide about Trump's assassination attempt?

KAMIL KRZACZYNSKI / Contributor, Anadolu / Contributor | Getty Images

This past weekend we were mere inches away from a radically different America than the one we have today. This was the first time a president had been wounded by a would-be assassin since 1981, and the horrific event has many people questioning the competency and motives of the supposedly elite agents trusted with the president's life.

The director of the Secret Service apparently knew about the assassin's rooftop before the shooting—and did nothing.

Kimberly Cheatle has come under intense scrutiny these last couple of weeks, as Secret Service director she is responsible for the president's well-being, along with all security operations onsite. In a recent interview with ABC, Cheatle admitted that she was aware of the building where the assassin made his mark on American history. She even said that she was mindful of the potential risk but decided against securing the site due to "safety concerns" with the slope of the roof. This statement has called her competence into question. Clearly, the rooftop wasn't that unsafe if the 20-year-old shooter managed to access it.

Glenn pointed out recently that Cheatle seems to be unqualified for the job. Her previous position was senior director in global security at America's second-favorite soda tycoon, PepsiCo. While guarding soda pop and potato chips sounds like an important job to some, it doesn't seem like a position that would qualify you to protect the life of America's most important and controversial people. Even considering her lack of appropriate experience, this seems like a major oversight that even a layperson would have seen. Can we really chalk this up to incompetence?

Former Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle KAMIL KRZACZYNSKI / Contributor | Getty Images

The Secret Service and DHS said they'd be transparent with the investigation...

Shortly after the attempted assassination, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which oversees the Secret Service, launched an investigation into the shooting and the security protocols in place at the rally. The DHS promised full transparency during the investigation, but House Republicans don't feel that they've been living up to that promise. Republican members of the House Oversight Committee are frustrated with Director Cheatle after she seemingly dodged a meeting scheduled for Tuesday. This has resulted in calls for Cheatle to step down from her position.

Two FBI agents investigate the assassin's rooftop Jeff Swensen / Stringer | Getty Images

Why is the Secret Service being so elusive? Are they just trying to cover their blunder? We seem to be left with two unsettling options: either the government is even more incompetent than we'd ever believed, or there is more going on here than they want us to know.

Cheatle steps down

Following a horrendous testimony to the House Oversight Committee Director Cheatle finally stepped down from her position ten days after the assassination attempt. Cheatle failed to give any meaningful answer to the barrage of questions she faced from the committee. These questions, coming from both Republicans and Democrats, were often regarding basic information that Cheatle should have had hours after the shooting, yet Cheatle struggled with each and every one. Glenn pointed out that Director Cheatle's resignation should not signal the end of the investigation, the American people deserve to know what happened.

What we DO and DON'T know about Thomas Matthew Crooks

Jim Vondruska / Stringer | Getty Images

It has been over a week since 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks narrowly failed to assassinate President Trump while the president gave a speech at a campaign rally in Butler, Pennslyvania. Despite the ongoing investigations, we still know very little about the would-be assassin, which has left many wondering if the agencies involved are limiting the information that Congress and the public are receiving.

As Glenn has pointed out, there are still major questions about the shooter that are unanswered, and the American people are left at the whim of unreliable federal agencies. Here is everything we know—and everything we don't know—about Thomas Matthew Crooks:

Who was he?

What we know:Thomas Crooks lived in Bethel Parks, Pennsylvania, approximately an hour south of Butler. Crooks went to high school in Bethel Parks, where he would graduate in 2022. Teachers and classmates described him as a loner and as nerdy, but generally nice, friendly, and intelligent. Crooks tried out for the school rifle team but was rejected due to his poor aim, and reports indicate that Crooks was often bullied for his nerdy demeanor and for wearing camo hunting gear to school.

After high school, Crooks began work at Bethel Park Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center as a dietary aide. In fact, he was scheduled to work on the day of the rally but requested the day off. He passed a background check to work at the facility and was reportedly an unproblematic employee. Crooks was also a member of a local gun club where he practiced shooting the day before the rally.

It was recently revealed that sometime before his attempted assassination, Crooks posted the following message on Steam, a popular computer application used for playing video games: "July 13 will be my premiere, watch as it unfolds." Aside from this, Crooks posted no warning or manifesto regarding his attack, and little other relevant information is known about him.

What we don't know:It is unclear what Crook's political affiliations or views were, or if he was aligned with any extremist organizations. Crooks was a registered Republican, and his classmates recall him defending conservative ideas and viewpoints in class. On the other hand, the Federal Election Commission has revealed he donated to a progressive PAC on the day Biden was inaugurated. He also reportedly wore a COVID mask to school much longer than was required.

Clearly, we are missing the full picture. Why would a Republican attempt to assassinate the Republican presidential nominee? What is to gain? And why would he donate to a progressive organization as a conservative? This doesn't add up, and so far the federal agencies investigating the attack have yet to reveal anything more.

What were his goals?

What we know: Obviously we know he was trying to assassinate President Trump—and came very close to succeeding, but beyond that, Crooks' goals are unknown. He left no manifesto or any sort of written motive behind, or if he did, the authorities haven't published it yet. We have frustratingly little to go off of.

What we don't know: As stated before, we don't know anything about the movies behind Crooks' heinous actions. We are left with disjointed pieces that make it difficult to paint a cohesive picture of this man. There is also the matter that he left explosives, ammo, and a bulletproof vest in his car. Why? Did he assume he was going to make it back to his car? Or were those supplies meant for an accomplice that never showed up?

The shocking lack of information on Crooks' motives makes it seem likely that we are not being let on to the whole truth.

Did he work alone?

What we know: Reportedly, Crooks was the only gunman on the site, and as of now, no other suspects have been identified. The rifle used during the assassination attempt was purchased and registered by Crooks' father. However, it is unlikely that the father was involved as he reported both his son and rifle missing the night of the assassination attempt. Crooks' former classmates described him as a "loner," which seems to corroborate the narrative that he worked alone.

What we don't know: We know how Crooks acquired his rifle, but what about the rest of his equipment? He reportedly had nearly a hundred extra rounds of ammunition, a bulletproof vest, and several homemade bombs in his car. Could these have been meant for a co-conspirator who didn't show? Did Crooks acquire all of this equipment himself, or did he have help?

There's also the matter of the message Crooks left on the video game platform Steam that served as his only warning of the attack. Who was the message for? Are there people out there who were aware of the attack before it occurred? Why didn't they alert authorities?

We know authorities have access to Crooks' laptop and cellphone that probably contain the answers to these pertinent questions. Why haven't we heard any clarity from the authorities? It seems we are again at the mercy of the federal bureaucracy, which begs one more question: Will we ever know the whole truth?

Who will be Kamala Harris' VP pick?

JIM WATSON / Contributor, Chris duMond / Stringer, Justin Sullivan / Staff | Getty Images

Over the weekend, President Joe Biden officially dropped out of the 2024 presidential election and put forward his endorsement behind his Vice President Kamala Harris.

Glenn recently predicted that Biden would step down due to the mountain of pressure within his party to do so. But now that we are here we are faced with an all-new line of questions, like, who will be the candidate on the Democratic ticket? Who will be their pick for vice president?

As of now, the answer to the first question seems to be Kamala Harris, who received the support of the president and several prominent democrats. It's still too early to call for certain, and Glenn doesn't think it's likely, but assuming Kamala becomes the Democrat nominee, who will her VP pick be? There are endless possible options, but there are a 5 big names that could prove beneficial to Harris' campaign:

California Gov. Gavin Newsom

Bill Pugliano / Stringer | Getty Images

Governor Newsom has spiked in popularity within his party since his taking office in 2019 due to his scathing criticisms of President Trump and other Republicans. Newsom has been a popular contender as a possible Biden replacement, and a future presidential bid seems likely.

His widespread recognition may be a boon to Kamala's ticket, but the California governor comes with a dark side. Newsom was famously nearly recalled as Governor in 2021, hanging on to his office by a narrow margin. He also faced criticism for his hypocrisy during the COVID lockdowns, attending large gatherings while the rest of his state was locked inside. There's also the issue that both Newsom and Kamala are from California, meaning that if they were to appear on the same ticket, that ticket would lack geographical balance and would potentially lead to a Constitutional issue that would force the duo to forfeit all 54 of the states' Electoral College votes.

Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro

Tom Williams / Contributor | Getty Images

Another prominent Democrat Governor, Josh Shapiro has also been floated as a potential VP pick. Governor Shapiro has become a viable pick due to his well-received performance as Pennslyvania's Governor. The governor has good support within the swing state due to his handling of the I-95 bridge collapse, the train derailment in East Palestine, which had effects on his state, and the assassination attempt on the former president last week. Shapiro would bring much-needed support from the swing state if he was put on the ticket.

That being said, Shapiro has little time to build nationwide name recognition before the DNC in August and the November election. This would be Shapiro's debut on the national stage, and he would find himself in the most unforgiving situation possible.

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg

FREDERIC J. BROWN / Contributor | Getty Images

Former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and opponent of Biden during the 2020 Democratic primaries, "Mayor Pete's" name recognition might be what Kamala needs on her presidential ticket. Buttigieg rose to popularity during the 2020 election due to his youth and status as "openly gay." Buttigieg has served as the Secretary of Transportation during the Biden administration for the past four years and has formally endorsed Harris.

Nevertheless, Buttigieg has some dark spots on his resume. The East Palestine train derailment disaster has besmirched his reputation as Secretary of Transportation. And while his youth may work in his favor when compared to the other elderly members of our federal government, it also means Buttigieg lacks the experience and prestige that other politicians enjoy.

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer

Noam Galai / Stringer | Getty Images

Yet another governor of a crucial swing state, Whitmer was elected in 2018, two years after President Trump was elected, helping secure the state for the Democrats. Whitmer is known for her strong opposition to Trump, both during his presidency and his reelection campaign. Whitmer serves as co-chair for the Biden-Harris campaign and as vice chairperson of the DNC, which gives her influence over the Democratic party, something that would come in handy as a Vice President. Gov. Whitmer also established the Fight Like Hell PAC, which is dedicated to helping Democrats get elected and to stopping Trump by any means.

On the other hand, in a statement following Biden's resignation from the election, Governor Whitmer stated that her role “will remain the same.” It is also worth noting that if she were to be chosen as Kamala's VP, that would make their ticket all-female, which may foster some "woke points," but is politically risky.

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear

Lexington Herald-Leader / Contributor | Getty Images

Andy Bashear has seemingly beaten the odds twice, having been elected and reelected as the Governor of Kentucky, despite the deep-red nature of the state. Beshear, who has moderate tendencies, would be a boon to the Harris campaign as he has a track record of reaching rural, typically conservative regions where Democrats tend to struggle. He is also known for his propensity to talk about his Christian faith and willingness to work with Republicans, which are traits that might help win over moderates.

But, like Gov. Shapiro, Bashear has very little time to whip up national support and recognition. He also is unlikely to be very much help for the Harris campaign in winning over important swing states.

Five times Glenn had J.D. Vance on his show and where he stands on key issues

CHANDAN KHANNAMANDEL NGAN / Contributor | Getty Images

We finally have an answer to the long-awaited question of who Trump will pick for his running mate, and it's none other than Ohio Senator and friend of the show, J.D. Vance. At the RNC in Milwaukee, Trump officially accepted the party's nomination as the Republican candidate and announced J.D. Vance as his running mate.

Glenn has had Senator Vance on the show several times to discuss everything from DEI to the Southern Border. If you are looking to familiarize yourself with the next potential Vice President, look no further, here are five conversations Glenn had with Trump's VP pick:

Glenn's Show Prep