GLENNApril 11, 2017

Man Up: NFL Player Writes a Playbook for New Dads

When it comes to the unknown territory of having a baby, moms-to-be have nearly unending resources to plan and execute a healthy pregnancy and navigate those first months and years as a parent with confidence. New dads? Not so much. They want to get in the game too, but, says Super Bowl champion Benjamin Watson, "I could find clearer direction for putting together a baby swing than for taking care of a newborn child."

Watson, who is also an accomplished speaker and author, joined Glenn in studio today to discuss his latest book, The New Dad's Playbook: Gearing Up for the Biggest Game of Your Life.

His message to men? Man up. There are things you need to know before becoming a dad and knowledge is power. With 33 percent of children being raised without fathers, Watson's message is needed more than ever. Fatherhood is challenging, but it's worth it. And Benjamin Watson, father of five, is here to tell men they can do it.

Enjoy the complimentary clip or read the transcript for details.

GLENN: Benjamin Watson, welcome to the program. How are you, sir?

BENJAMIN: Doing well. How are you guys doing? Thanks for having me.

GLENN: Good. First, let's quickly talk, how is your injury?

BENJAMIN: It's going well. Tore my Achilles last year. Spoke to you guys a little while ago from the rehab field actually.

GLENN: Yeah. Yeah.

BENJAMIN: And it's coming along. It's a seven-to-nine month injury.

PAT: That had to hurt.

BENJAMIN: Yeah, it did. It did. It's one of those things where it happens. And people who tear their Achilles always say, it felt like somebody kicked me in the heels. So I looked back. Who kicked me in the heel?

PAT: Yeah.

BENJAMIN: And nobody was there.

STU: Oh.

PAT: Yeah. Man.

BENJAMIN: I get up because I was going to get the pass, get the ball. And my foot is just kind of flopping, not connected. So it was painful. But I'm doing well.

GLENN: How frightening is that as a guy who does this for a living?

BENJAMIN: Yeah.

GLENN: And did it go through your mind, am I done?

BENJAMIN: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course.

You know, I've had a number of injuries over my career. You know, football has a 100 percent injury rate. That's why we try to do our best to protect players and provide, you know, those benefits for them.

JEFFY: No kidding.

BENJAMIN: But you never know when it's going to be in the game. It could be because of a younger player or because of skill diminishment or an injury, something like that. I've always been able to bounce back, so I'm trying to do it again.

GLENN: What do you think about the studies that show that rugby players don't get hurt, even though they have no padding, because we overprotect here. And so you just kind of -- you just kind of --

BENJAMIN: Yeah. I thought about that a lot, Glenn.

I mean, if you look at the two games, rugby is more like soccer, as in the game flows. You don't have these collisions where guys are at a standstill from 20 yards away and they're running full speed and colliding with each other.

So number one, the collisions aren't the same, as in football. Number two, when it comes to protecting players, you look at a helmet, right? If you don't have a helmet on, do you think you will use your head in a way to break it?

GLENN: No.

BENJAMIN: No, you won't. If you have a helmet on, though, you're more inclined to use your head in tackling, in defending, in blocking as a weapon. However you want to feel it. You feel this sense of security that you don't have.

GLENN: Correct.

BENJAMIN: However, your brain is suspended in fluid. So while your helmet protects your skull, it doesn't protect your brain. So when you look at rugby -- you know, that's a great point there -- they tackle differently because they don't have the equipment --

GLENN: They don't have a false sense of security.

BENJAMIN: Exactly. But also the game isn't set up the way football is. Football is a game of collision. That's why people watch. That's why we play it. That's why you like it.

PAT: Yeah.

STU: It's really nice to have someone who can not only talk sports, but also match the athletic ability of Glenn. Which is so rare --

GLENN: I don't think we need to go here right now. I thought it was a pleasant conversation. I was holding my own. And you went there.

So, Ben, talk to me a little bit about the book that you've written, why you've written it.

BENJAMIN: Yeah.

GLENN: You in some ways are a very controversial guy. And excuse me for not -- I don't follow football at all.

Are you controversial --

BENJAMIN: You're in Dallas and don't follow football?

GLENN: Yeah, I know.

BENJAMIN: My aunt would turn over.

GLENN: Yeah.

(laughter)

GLENN: And I used to work with Joe Theismann, and I still actually root -- and mainly only because I worked with Joe Theismann that I root for the Cowboys.

Are you -- the things that you say are controversial in society, only because I think they're rooted in common sense. And we're not a common sense place anymore.

BENJAMIN: Yeah. Yeah.

GLENN: Are you -- do you have problems with your -- your coworkers and your fellow players and --

BENJAMIN: Well, no. Not at all.

GLENN: Really good.

BENJAMIN: But I will say this. The thing I love about the NFL -- because I do have a group of 60 or so guys from different walks of life.

GLENN: Yeah.

BENJAMIN: Economic ethnicity. Geographical locations. They come together. And if it's done correctly, it can be a great place to bounce ideas. You have conversations that you probably won't have in any other setting because it wouldn't be -- it wouldn't be right for corporate guidelines so to speak. And so we're able to talk about these different things. And, you know, when I say things, whether it's about abortion, whether it's about race, whether it's about social justice, whether it's about something political -- or like, in this case, with the new book about fatherhood and men standing up and being dads. It could be something about domestic violence, you know. What happened two days ago with the murder-suicide. 94 percent of the victims are females in murder-suicides. And so whenever I step up and say something like that, it's amazing how many guys who say, you know, I kind of agree with that too. Let's talk about this.

GLENN: So let's talk about the -- the book. Do you get into a man -- and I'm sorry. But the book isn't even out yet. So I haven't read it.

BENJAMIN: Yeah, May 2nd.

GLENN: Does the book talk about the role of a man and the way he treats a woman?

BENJAMIN: It does. It does. My wife is really the one who got me to do it.

STU: Of course. That's the story of every project.

BENJAMIN: Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Us men drag our feet on things, and our women are the ones that make us do --

GLENN: No, it is the story -- it is what people mean, behind every successful man, there's a good woman.

BENJAMIN: Exactly.

GLENN: Yeah, because they're saying, get up and do that.

BENJAMIN: Yeah, the man is the head, but the woman is the neck. She will turn that head wherever she wants to go. So she's been trying to come employ me to write this book.

We have five children. The oldest is eight. And she's been employing me to write this book for a while, as a handbook to help dads through pregnancy, really, in supporting their wives, supporting the mother of their children through this process. Because a lot of dads -- when I had my first child -- she's eight now. But I didn't know what I was getting into. I didn't know what to do when my wife had morning sickness. I didn't know what to do when I went to the OB, and he's checking for the heartbeat.

You know, I had all this anxiety that we have as men. And so the reason for the book, number one, is to educate men. So men work best when we have information.

GLENN: Uh-huh.

BENJAMIN: So everything from areola to zygote terms will be covered in the book. Technical terms, so that men know what they're getting into when it comes to being a father, when it comes to their wives being pregnant.

But also, there's practical application. You know, things I messed on. Things I wished I would have done better. Communication.

GLENN: Like what?

BENJAMIN: Well, like I said before, I was very -- we're two type A personalities, my wife and I. So sometimes we butt heads. That leads to arguments. Our first couple years of marriage -- weren't the most pleasant, I'll admit that. But understand you're on the same team. Understanding that you have her best interests at heart. And number one, you need to be present.

The number one thing for a man that I implore guys in this book is that they need to be present, not just with their money providing for a roof over their head. But they need -- women need and the child needs their team. Needs their support.

We live in a time where there's 33 percent pretty much of kids grow up without a father. And that leads to a lot of the ills that we've been talking about. And so my goal is to educate guys, but also empower them and encourage them that they can do it.

STU: I'm a little concerned that one of the main things you seem to be advocating in the book is to store your baby inside of a football helmet.

GLENN: That's just the cover. Don't judge the book by the cover.

STU: Okay.

GLENN: That's just the cover.

STU: That's what that means. Don't judge a book --

GLENN: Yeah. The cover sometimes could be misleading.

BENJAMIN: But a lot of guys feel like -- and, you know, I've had these conversations before. And I've even felt a little bit that this time, when they're young, it doesn't really matter.

So basically the book goes from conception, up until the first few weeks when the baby is home. So kind of like conception being the preseason training camp in football. The Super Bowl being when the baby is born. And kind of the post game idea is when the baby is home, those first few weeks when the mother is extremely tired and you need to kick in and you might need to cook. You might need to wash dishes. You might need to do some clothes.

GLENN: Whoa, whoa.

BENJAMIN: You need to do some things to help out because, again, you guys are a team. And it's okay if you get out of your normal comfort zone, what you've been doing, for her.

GLENN: It's also really, I think a hard time when you have a child, because everything is geared towards the woman and the baby.

BENJAMIN: Yeah.

GLENN: And even -- even when you hold the baby, the baby is not looking at you like they look at the mom. Because, I mean, God placed that nipple right --

BENJAMIN: But that's not true. That's not true. That's not true, Glenn. Studies have shown that skin-to-skin contact is vital when the baby is born for the mother and for the father.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: No, no. I agree with that. I agree with that. What I'm saying is the guy can feel like it's not -- like I'm not -- I'm useless. I can't feed really.

BENJAMIN: That's true.

GLENN: I can't -- you know, I don't have that bond. There is that bond in early days.

BENJAMIN: Yeah.

GLENN: And the guy can just feel like --

PAT: Especially if they breast-feed. Part of that.

GLENN: Right.

BENJAMIN: That's true. That's true.

GLENN: I'm useless here. And it's a total lie.

BENJAMIN: And I felt that. One of the things I talk about is -- my wife nursed our children for a year, all of them for a year afterwards. And so one thing I would do would be -- she would pump some milk for me at night. And I would get up at night and do some feedings with the milk. And obviously, I can't nurse. But it was a way for me to bond with my children.

PAT: Uh-huh.

BENJAMIN: And kind of get tired too. Because you're going to go through that zombie stage. And me get up and let her sleep for a little bit is important. So that's one way. And, you know, one of the things I'm always fearful of -- and I think you touched on it -- was that I'm losing my life. I will say that with this child, I felt like, man, I don't know if I want to go through this because it's going to change the dynamics of our relationship. I'm losing her.

STU: Oh, yeah.

BENJAMIN: How long is she going to be gone? When is she going to be back? But I found that when I'm intentionally involved, those feelings start to go away sooner. But those are real things.

I mean, the reality of it is, when a child comes into a relationship, whether it's the first child, second, third, fourth, or fifth child, the dynamics change, not only for the children that are there, but for the husband and the wife. But that husband/wife relationship is one that has to remain strong, not only for its benefit, but for the benefit of the children.

GLENN: Yeah. And that's difficult to do. Because especially as the child grows, you have -- you have, you know, things that come up. And you're like, this child needs the attention right now. And so your relationship has to morph and change. And it -- to a guy at least, it does feel like you're losing your wife.

BENJAMIN: Yeah.

GLENN: You know, she's mom. And not my wife. And it's hard. It's really hard.

BENJAMIN: Exactly. Well, yeah. It is. One of the things -- you know, one of the things I talk about obviously -- every relationship talks about communication. But the main thing with communication is honesty. And so with my first, you mentioned something that I did wrong. With my first couple, I wasn't honest about my feelings. I wasn't honest that I felt like I was losing her, that I was hurt, those sort of things.

And the last few pregnancies, I've told her, you know, this is how I feel. How do we combat this? So that way she's aware of it. And one thing we always try to do is get back on schedule with our date nights.

I look forward to, after we have a baby, after the schedules get all messed up, one thing we try to do with our relationship is have scheduled date nights. During the season -- it's actually easier during the season because our schedule is very regimented. So we go on Mondays or Tuesdays.

But especially after having a child, reconnecting in that way. I talk about, you know, intimacy. You know, contrary to popular belief by men, sex isn't the only form of intimacy, right?

GLENN: Wait. What else?

BENJAMIN: There's something else? Hey, I felt the same way. Really?

So -- but I talk about those things. You know, how do you navigate her changing body, you know, when it comes to sex? How long afterwards? How do you rekindle that passion when all these things have happened and the emotions and the mood swings and the hormones and all those sorts of things? How do you make her feel beautiful through this process?

GLENN: Boy, I wish I would have had this book the first time, maybe even the third time.

STU: Does it say in there, well, don't be as out of shape as we are? Instead, be as in good shape as an NFL player is, and then the intimacy follows.

BENJAMIN: See, that's how guys think. Guys are like, man, in shape or intimacy?

But a woman will tell you something otherwise. She will say, you know what, I can deal with your beard, but if you're affirming me --

JEFFY: That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie.

BENJAMIN: If you know my love life. You're speaking to it.

GLENN: No, that's a lie.

BENJAMIN: That's a lie?

GLENN: I see the way my wife looks at Chris Pratt on the screen.

JEFFY: That's right. That's a lie.

BENJAMIN: She doesn't know him though. She doesn't have a relationship with him.

GLENN: No. And I'm glad she doesn't know him.

STU: Or she wouldn't have you anymore.

BENJAMIN: It's a totally different story.

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Meet the pro-Intifada candidate NYC Democrats just elected

New York City Democrats just elected 33-year-old Zohran Mamdani, a "socialist Muslim", as the Party's candidate for mayor. But Glenn Beck argues that his radical beliefs are actually communist and Islamist.

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

VOICE: Z10852. Something weird is going on. The World Trade Center is on fire.

VOICE: Seriously the top of the building. We're trying to get information.

VOICE: Top level of one of the --

VOICE: To unfold from New York City.

VOICE: A plane crashed just --

VOICE: My sister is in that believe. I hope she's okay. I have to come to New York.

VOICE: It's pandemonium.

VOICE: It's raining papers.

VOICE: Wait a minute! Stop just a second. Why are we -- why are we -- I've got breaking news. Breaking news, yesterday. New York City just elected as their mayoral candidate for the left. And the Democrats, a -- a Muslim radical, who is also a communist!

So, you know, it only took you 25 years. It only took you 25 years, New York, to go completely insane.

Somebody who is -- well, I mean, if I might quote Michael malice today. I am old enough to remember when New Yorkers endured 9/11 instead of voting for it.

But you've got a -- you've got a communist jihadist apologist now.

Who was -- you know, well, CAIR put $100,000 behind his bid for New York City mayor.

So you have somebody who is endorsed by CAIR. That's really good.

He also was somebody who said, you know, he was -- he was for the shooting of the United Health Care CEO.

Said he was looking forward to driving down magnum Joan avenue. I don't know. Sounds like supporting people in the streets. Maybe it's just me.

Then he also said that he was going to globalize the intifada, which I think that's -- maybe -- maybe that's just me.

I mean, what do I know?

Tim Miller who is a podcaster. Asked him a few weeks ago. Asked him about his pro Palestinian slogan. Globalized the intifada. And he said, for me, ultimately, what I hear in so many, is a desperate desire for equality and equal rights, in standing up for Palistinian human rights. Oh, is that what you hear, Mr. CAIR?

Really? Huh, that's interesting.

Right. So globalize the intifada.

I mean, I mean, sure, that's -- I mean well, let me go on.

Because I don't want to take him out of context.

He then delved into the semantics of the intifada, citing the United States Holocaust memorial museum's use of a word for a translation for uprising, in an Arabic version of an article, a museum published about the Warsaw ghetto.

Oh!

So this is just a comparison, about the -- the armed rebellion against the Nazis!

I don't know if that makes me feel better!

I mean, if we're globalizing that.

We're the Nazis in this scenario.

Because I don't think it's the Palestinians.

I certainly don't think it's anybody who is like, hey.

Global jihad. I don't think it's those guys.

Or the Nazis. Who are the Nazis in that?

And it seems, if that's what you mean, then it's not just a harmless kind of slogan about human rights. It is a call for violence on the streets.

Because I don't know if you know, that's what happened when the Jews had their uprising against the Nazis.

I'm just saying!

But, hey, hey, free Palestine.

Oh, that's not what that means, gang. That is not what that means, but don't worry about it. He's just going to be possibly the new mayor.

And that's great. By the way, the Columbia faculty members signed a letter defending Hamas.

They were also among the donors to his mayoral campaign.

So, you know, you don't have anything to worry about.

And his father, who used to work at Columbia. Do you know, Stu?

Is his Dad -- is he still a professor at Columbia University?

He said that -- this violent terror thing of Islam, is not a part of Islam. Now, I've read the Koran, and much of the hadith.

And I'm pretty sure the violence is a part of that. But no.

No. This is something entirely new.

And his father while at Columbia university, wanted everybody to know, that this is actually -- this is something that came out of America!

America is really responsible for this.

And, you know, it really started with the Reagan administration, you know, when he started -- when he started with his very religious terms, to finish the war against the evil empire.

So, you know, that's where -- that's where 9/11 came from.

Is what -- don't worry about it! Don't worry about it!

Because who am I? I'm clearly just -- am I an anti-Semite today, or am I an Islamophobic? I can't remember which one.

Oh, it's probably both. Anyway, Islamophobia. Let me just explain Islamophobia. I haven't even gotten to the Communist part of it. Which is really, really -- New York, you're in one for hell of a ride. Buckle up.

It will be a fun rollercoaster for you. My gosh, I've never been happier that I've been away are if New York.

Anyway, I just want I to know, there is Islam. And then there is Islamists. Now, an Islamist is somebody who really wants Sharia law.

That's political Islam!

That's not a faith. That's political Islam.

Now, let me make really -- something really clear. Criticizing Islamism, is not Islamophobia. Pointing out the dangers of, oh. I don't know.

Political Islam. The ideology that seeks to use the tools of democracy, ultimately to destroy democracy, is not an attack on Muslims.

No. Uh-uh.

You know why?

Because Muslims are often the first people in line.

The first victims of the ideology.

So let's draw a bright, bright line between Islam as a faith, millions of people can practice that faithfully and peacefully.

It's mostly peaceful, okay?

Then there's the Islamism.

Islamism is something entirely -- that's a political project.

A theocratic political -- oh. Left loves theocracies. They love it.

Of course, you never see a problem with it.

See it when an Islamist is touting it. Anyway, it's not about prayer. It's not about fasting. It's not about spiritual life.

It's all about power. It's about merging of mosque and state. It's about implementing Sharia, not as a personal code of conduct. But as a governing legal system.

And it's -- it's supremacy.

Absolutely. Faith.

Religion.

It's -- there's one thing that's supreme.

It's misogynistic.

Deeply intolerant of all kinds of things.

Descent. Secularism. Other faiths. Even competing interpretations from inside the faith itself.

It will behead them too.

So let's -- let's be honest here for a second.

You know, CAIR should be labeled an international terror organization.

In my opinion. In my opinion.

Oh, does that make me -- that makes me an Islamophobe. I'm sure. I'm sure they will start a campaign against me on being an Islamophobe.

Stand in line, guys. You've been doing it since 2001, okay?

I don't really care. And I don't think the American people. I think that record, all the grooves are worn-out on that one, okay?

This is not a religion we're talking about. When we're talking about Sharia law. And we're talking about globalize the intifada. What does that mean, actually, to globalize it?

Does that mean we now want to do what is happening to Israel? All over the world?

Has the Palestinian plight become our plight you now, as Americans?

That there has to be an intifada here!

Because it's the kind of the same. You know. It's kind of the same over, you know, with what the Palestinians are going through.

Well, it's very much like what the Jews went through with the Nazis.

That's a weird one. That one makes my head hurt. It's very much the same as that. And very much the same as the fight against Donald Trump.

Oh, this is going to be fun. It's fun!

Really fun. You know, the irony here is, the ones that will scream Islamophobia the most, are the ones in the progressive left, the champions of feminism, LGBTQ rights. And secularism.

They're going to -- no. You want -- they're going to stand with the people, who want to kill them first.

See, this is how smart they are!

This is why it's going to work out well, in New York City.

Let me just say. If you have an ounce of common sense, you run a business, you have an ounce of wealth. And I don't mean wealth like, you know, hey, Lovey.

Let's get on the boat for a three-hour tour with a suitcase full of cash. I mean you saved anything, anything, get the hell out of New York City.

I mean, this is about survival. This is about free speech. This is about women's rights.
Religious pluralism. Secular legal systems. Liberal democracy.

But it's also about failed principles of Communism. Okay?

First, you have to call out political Islam for what it is. Okay?

And we have to do it with the clarity that we call out white nationalism.

Got to do it with that. Got to -- you know, the Klan. Really bad people.

Really bad people.

Anybody who is shouting for globalized intifada?

Pretty bad. Pretty bad people.

Okay?

Now, let's get to communism.

Because that's another cool, cool angle of the new Democratic candidate for -- for mayor of New York City.

That I just -- I think is cuddly and cute. Sure, it led to 100 million deaths. But this time, New York is going to be radically different. Oh, did I use the word radical?

I didn't mean to use that. What's radical about this guy?

Nothing. He's just like you!

Well, not exactly.

But let's talk about communism, next!

Now, the new mayoral candidate that's running there in New York City. That so many young people rushed to defend and vote for. He's promising free buses.

That's going to work out.

Where are you going to get the money for free buses.

It's free!

City-run grocery stores.

Oh, rent freezes. And finally somebody has done it. A 30-dollar minimum wage.

So under the banner of equity. And, you know, we will tax the wealthy. And the corporations. You know, we're going to squeeze another $10 billion out of them.

Really?

Because they're going to call a U-Haul.

You know, they will call something like U-Haul. There will be a lot of -- there will be a lot of movers that are like, how do I get the truck back from Texas or Florida back up to New York? Nobody is moving up there.

But he's going to do it.

Now, his vision isn't really new. You know, just -- just tax people, so we could have city-run grocery stores. You know, I remember -- I'm old enough to remember those city-run grocery stores in Moscow.

They were great.

The shelves were empty.

But that's just Moscow.

It worked out completely different in Venezuela.

Where, oh, no.

It didn't. That's right. The grocery store.

They were eating the zoo animals.

But it will be different in New York.

Because they have rent controls too.

And that will just choke the housing supply, but don't worry. As a young family.

You know, you voted for it.

You know better.

It will work this time.

So, you know, I like building ideas, I just don't like usually building on the graves of 100 million people.

But, you know, why not? Why not?

You know, use this dogma.

And this time, it will be different. It's not like it was in China. Where the great leap forward, was a gross -- a gross parody of progress. Venezuela, which was oil rich. One of the richest nations in the hemisphere now sees 90 percent of its population in poverty!

Yeah. Darn it. You know what they did?

They decided to take state control of things.

You know, like grocery stores. And it worked out well. How is that free busing working out in Venezuela?

I just want to -- I just want to know.

Anyway, then you've got the globalize the intifada. Which is going to drop a little violence in, and anti-Semitism in with your communism.

Which is weird!

Because violence and anti-Semitism, always happen. When it -- when it comes to -- when it comes to communism.

This is weird!

I've got to play something for you. Because this has talked about on me earlier this morning.

Oh, wow.

Wait a minute. This is -- this is the whole coalition coming together here.

So this is going to be good. New York, this is going to be great.

It's going to be great for you.

No. He's going to uplift you. Then the social fabric of New York City is just going to be -- just one.

It's going to be fantastic. Don't worry about your 120 billion dollars in debt. Or your 10 billion-dollar deficit that you have right now.

You are going to charge the rich more taxes, and they will stay right there.

They will be like, you know what, that 46 percent in taxes that I'm paying, this is just not enough. It's just not enough.

I need to pay 60 or 70 percent to be able to pay my fair share. So that's good. That's good. That's good.

You know, they're not risking 100 million people. It's just 8 million people.

This time, it's just 8 million people.

But, hey. For those of you in upstate New York. That aren't going to be part of this experiment.

Don't worry, you get to pay for it. Because they'll kick it up to the state. The state will have to subsidize everything. And don't you love it?

Really, don't you want to subsidize the really crazy ideas of New York City?

I mean, why don't you have a -- why don't you have a democratic socialist. A/k/a communist mayor.

Why haven't you done that? Are you not progressive enough? Are you not looking into the future?

Are you stuck in the past?

I don't know. I don't know. The graveyard is pretty big. I have a hard time getting past that one. You know, yeah, so I'm stuck in the past. Because I can't seem to pass that graveyard, and get to be down the path with you. But it's going to be a paradise.

Forget arithmetic. You know, or human nature. This time, it's going to work. It's going to work. So all right!

Wish I lived in this morning.

No wait. Nope. I don't. Nope, I don't.

And Ted Cruz, stop it. Stop writing, hey, come to Texas. No. No. Don't come to Texas. Don't come to Florida. Go to California. It's beautiful this time of year. Go there. Go there.

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