Now Available at T-shirt Stores Everywhere: Michelle Obama 2020

No.

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

GLENN: Seriously, Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are so adorable. They're totally blessed to have each other.

PAT: Aren't they though?

GLENN: Barack and Michelle are your parents taking a vacation. Yeah, if your parents are globalists.

STU: Globalists.

PAT: Jeez.

STU: I can't hear the word globalist without hearing Alex Jones saying it.

PAT: I know.

STU: Globalist.

GLENN: Okay. But that Alex Jones thing has taken root much stronger in France. And this is why this is coming. I really think that -- look how loved the Clintons were. They were beloved. Have you guys noticed -- who was it that was taking on Chelsea Clinton this weekend from the left? They are not liked anymore. They've worn their welcome out. People on the left see them for who they are.

PAT: And Chelsea --

GLENN: They got rich on the back of -- of tragedy and charity.

PAT: Uh-huh.

STU: They're also angry at them for blowing 2016.

PAT: For losing. Yes.

STU: You know, again, they saw that as the easiest victory of all time.

PAT: Yes. There was a funny article because Chelsea is kind of positioning for some political --

JEFFY: Yeah.

PAT: There was an article written about that. And the headline was: Please, God, stop Chelsea from doing whatever she's about to do.

(chuckling)

We don't need another Clinton in any office in the land.

GLENN: But I think that's going to happen with the Obamas.

PAT: Yeah. I hope so.

GLENN: As this continues to grow, this anger at the elites, I think these guys are going to get into more and more trouble.

STU: I was in New York this weekend, and there was a T-shirt store. The store was titled, America! With an exclamation point. And so inside, the first -- as you walked in, there was a T-shirt. I wish I took a picture of it. And it was legitimately Donald Trump standing there in his typical tie. You know, broad chested, standing out. In the background, fireworks going off. He's standing in front of a tank that is rolling over terrain that has Trump on the side. And this like ridiculous sort of the overtop Donald Trump is the greatest person ever. In the same store in the back, a Michelle Obama 2020 T-shirt. Like they're already starting -- I mean, that's already starting to be pushed, that you're going to get Michelle Obama as the candidate. Can you imagine if in four years we have to deal with Donald Trump versus Michelle Obama?

GLENN: And Michelle Obama would win.

STU: Who knows. So much that could happen either way.

GLENN: I mean, if he continues --

STU: Look at this coverage though. They did not -- Hillary Clinton did not --

GLENN: The coverage won't matter. The coverage won't matter.

JEFFY: No.

STU: But Hillary Clinton did not get, "Oh, my gosh, look at that adoring, doting husband with his iPad, taking a photo of the most beautiful woman that's ever existed. Look at her arms."

(laughter)

GLENN: By the way, I would just like to point out, another prediction that I made last week is coming true already. And I don't think there's a chance in hell that this is even -- even close to true. They're going -- somebody is going after Sean Hannity now.

PAT: That happened pretty fast.

GLENN: That happened pretty fast. But what did we say last week? They are going to --

PAT: They're trying to completely bring down Fox News.

GLENN: They're trying to bring down Fox News.

PAT: Yeah, yeah.

GLENN: And, you know, we supported -- because I think that it's wrong about Bill O'Reilly. I can't believe that it's -- that there's -- that there's -- that Sean was even in the same room with this woman, I mean, and something went wrong.

STU: Right.

GLENN: I support Sean Hannity on this. We have to be careful.

STU: Well, they're trying to take out all of conservative media, right? This is their current path.

GLENN: But, you know what, when you open that door, is there -- really? Is everybody on the left, is everybody at MSNBC and CNN -- as you're celebrating, are you sure you're -- you're cool there? I mean, nothing ever happened there either?

Science did it again. It only took 270 million years, but this week, scientists finally solved the mystery that has kept the world up at night. We finally know where octopuses come from: outer space. That explains why they look like the aliens in just about every alien movie ever made.

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It turns out octopuses were aliens that evolved on another planet. Scientists haven't determined which one yet, but they've definitely narrowed it down to one of the planets in one of the galaxies. Hundreds of millions of years ago (give or take a hundred), these evolved octopus aliens arrived on Earth in the form of cryopreserved eggs. Now, this part is just speculation, but it's possible their alien planet was on the verge of destruction, so Mom and Dad Octopus self-sacrificially placed Junior in one of these cryopreserved eggs and blasted him off the planet to save their kind.

This alien-octopus research, co-authored by a group of 33 scientists, was published in the Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology journal. I'm sure you keep that on your nightstand like I do.

Anyway, these scientists say octopuses evolved very rapidly over 270 million years. Which sounds slow, but in evolutionary terms, 270 million years is like light speed. And the only explanation for their breakneck evolution is that they're aliens. The report says, “The genome of the Octopus shows a staggering level of complexity with 33,000 protein-coding genes — more than is present in Homo sapiens."

Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

They mention that the octopus' large brain, sophisticated nervous system, camera-like eyes, flexible bodies and ability to change color and shape all point to its alien nature. Octopuses developed those capabilities rather suddenly in evolution, whereas we're still trying to figure out the TV remote.

These biological enhancements are so far ahead of regular evolution that the octopuses must have either time-traveled from the future, or “more realistically" according to scientists, crash-landed on earth in those cryopreserved egg thingies. The report says the eggs arrived here in “icy bolides." I had to look up what a “bolide" is, and turns out it's a fancy word for a meteor.

So, to recap: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien race of octopuses packed their sperm-bank samples in some meteors and shot them toward Earth. Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

President Trump's approval rating is rising, and Democrats — hilariously — can't seem to figure out what's going on. A few months ago Democrats enjoyed a sixteen point lead over Republicans, but now — according to CNN's recent national survey — that lead is down to just THREE points. National data from Reuters shows it as being even worse.

The Democratic advantage moving towards the halfway mark into 2018 shows that Republicans are only ONE point behind. The president's public approval rating is rising, and Democrats are nervously looking at each other like… “umm guys, what are we doing wrong here?"

I'm going to give Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi a little hint. We know that the Left has enjoyed a “special relationship" with the media, but they might want to have a sit down with their propaganda machine. The mainstream media is completely out of control, and Americans are sick of it. We're DONE with the media.

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Look what has been going on just this week. The president called MS-13 gang members animals, but that's not the story the media jumped on. They thought it was more clickable to say that Trump was calling all immigrants animals instead. In the Middle East, the media rushed to vilify Israel instead of Hamas. They chose to defend a terror organization rather than one of our oldest allies.

Think about that. The media is so anti-Trump that they've chosen a violent street gang AND A GLOBAL TERROR ORGANIZATION as their torch-bearing heroes. Come on, Democrats. Are you seriously baffled why the American people are turning their backs on you?

Still not enough evidence? Here's the New York Times just yesterday. Charles Blow wrote a piece called "A Blue Wave of Moral Restoration" where he tried to make the case that the president and Republicans were the enemy, but — fear not — Democrat morality was here to save the day.

Here are some of these cases Blow tries to make for why Trump is unfit to be President:

No person who treats women the way Trump does and brags on tape about sexually assaulting them should be president.

Ok, fine. You can make that argument if you want to, but why weren't you making this same argument for Bill Clinton? Never mind, I actually know the reason. Because you were too busy trying to bury the Juanita Broaddrick story.

Let's move on:

No person who has demonstrated himself to be a pathological liar should be president.

Do the words, “You can keep your doctor" mean anything to the New York Times or Charles Blow? I might have saved the best for last:

No person enveloped by a cloud of corruption should be president.

I can only think of three words for a response to this: Hillary Frigging Clinton.

Try displaying a little consistency.

If the media really wants Donald Trump gone and the Democrats to take over, they might want to try displaying a little consistency. But hey, maybe that's just too much to ask.

How about starting with not glorifying terrorist organizations and murderous street gangs. Could we at least begin there?

If not… good luck in the midterms.

In the weeks following President Trump's decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital, the mainstream media was quick to criticize the president's pro-Israel stance and make dire predictions of violent backlash in the Middle East. Fast forward to this week's opening of the US Embassy in Jerusalem and the simultaneous Palestinian “protests" in Gaza.

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Predictably, the mainstream media chastised Israel for what they called “state-sanctioned terrorism" when the IDF stepped in to protect their country from so-called peaceful Palestinian protesters. Hamas leaders later admitted that at least 50 of the 62 Palestinians killed in the clashes were Hamas terrorists.

“In our post-modern media age, there is no truth and nobody even seems to be looking for it …. This is shamefully clear in the media especially this week with their coverage of the conflict between the border of Israel and the Gaza strip," said Glenn on today's show. He added, “The main media narrative this week is about how the IDF is just killing innocent protesters, while Hamas officials have confirmed on TV that 50 of the 62 people killed were working for Hamas."

The mainstream media views the Palestinians as the oppressed people who just want to share the land and peacefully coexist with the people of Israel. “They can't seem to comprehend that in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, only one side is actively trying to destroy the other," surmised Glenn.

Watch the video above to hear Glenn debunk the “peaceful Palestinian protest" fallacy.

Here are a few headlines regarding the protests in Israel: 'Global protests grow after Israeli killing of Palestinian demonstrators,' the Guardian. 'Israel kills dozens at Gaza Border,' the New York Times. 'Palestinians mourn dead in Gaza as protests continue,' CNN. 'Over 50 Palestinians in massive protest are killed by Israeli military, bloodiest day in Gaza since 2014 war,' ABC News. 'Gaza begins to bury its dead after deadliest day in years,' BBC.

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In each, the spoken or unspoken subject of the sentence and villain of the story is Israel. Innocent Palestinians murdered by the cruel Israelis. This is the narrative that the mainstream media has promulgated. Few have mentioned that the majority of the “protestors" that died were members of Hamas, the militant (and highly anti-Semetic) Sunni-Islamist organization that has been labeled a Foreign Terrorist Organization by the U.S. State Department.

A senior Hamas official told reporters that 50 of the 59 people killed in Monday's protests were members of Hamas, and the remainder were “from the people." So…they were all Hamas.

As usual, mention of such membership has been left out of the mainstream media's anti-Israel, pro-Islam narrative.

As usual, mention of such membership has been left out of the mainstream media's anti-Israel, pro-Islam narrative. Maybe they think of Palestinians as underdogs and they love a good scrap. Well, they aren't underdogs. But their outburst have been glorified for so long that it's near impossible to disagree with that narrative.