Vaginas With Voices: Thanks, Bill Nye, for the Worst Moment in Broadcast History

Welcome to 2017, the year of the worst moment in broadcast history which taught us that vaginas can talk. Yes, it actually happened thanks to Bill Nye, the so-called science guy. The only thing that could top it? Glenn's impression of a talking vagina. #NSFW

Listen to this segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

GLENN: Well, here's an episode that I would really like to lose. Because once you -- luckily, it's radio. So you're not going to be able to see this. But as you're listening to it.

PAT: It's unbelievable.

GLENN: Realize it's 100 times worse when you actually are watching it.

PAT: This actually happened on a Netflix original show.

JEFFY: Yes.

GLENN: This is something we feel necessary to say. This actually -- in today's world --

PAT: It really happened.

GLENN: Think of this.

PAT: Happened.

GLENN: In today's world, where honestly, space aliens could -- Anderson Cooper could go on TV tonight and lift up his eyelid and pull it over his head and reveal himself as an alien, and we would be like, "Huh."

JEFFY: Should have seen this one.

GLENN: In this atmosphere, we have to say, this actually happened.

STU: Yeah. I mean, in all seriousness, it's one of the worst three minutes of entertainment put together. And, by the way, we have five of the top ten, so we know --

GLENN: This is our category. We have all of -- yeah, we're lifetime achievement winners when it comes to bad entertainment.

STU: Yes, this is the worst thing I may have ever seen.

PAT: Have you ever seen -- I didn't even know he had a Netflix show, but called Bill Nye Saves the World?

JEFFY: Yeah.

PAT: Who knew? And why the hell did Netflix put him on? What is the draw of this guy? I don't understand it.

GLENN: Okay stop here's Bill Nye the Science Guy. And he's going to introduce something that you, of course, know.

PAT: This is amazing.

GLENN: And warning, kids -- warning, if you have kids in the room --

PAT: Yeah, it's a little harsh.

GLENN: It has dicey language in it. It's all technical science language.

STU: No.

GLENN: But the song is -- remember, and we're the science denier.

PAT: Uh-huh.

GLENN: We're the ones denying science. This is on the science stage this weekend, my vagina has a voice.

VOICE: So you guys, seriously, this next thing I feel is very special.

PAT: It's very special.

VOICE: This is a cool little segment. You know this woman from Crazy Ex-girlfriend. Please give it up for Rachel Bloom.

GLENN: I didn't know Crazy Ex-girlfriend.

PAT: I don't know her, but...

VOICE: This one goes out to all my bipeds who identify as ladies!

PAT: Okay. For all the bipeds who identify as ladies because that's as close as we could come to calling you something that sort of identifies a human being.

GLENN: Women. Okay. So wait. That's what she said? For all you bipeds that identify as ladies.

PAT: Bipeds that identify as ladies.

GLENN: Okay. All right. But we're the science deniers.

(singing)

VOICE: My vagina has its own voice.

PAT: Wow.

(singing)

VOICE: Sometimes I do my voice for my vagina. Please, tell me I'm not the only one who does that.

(laughter)

GLENN: Stop. I believe that laughter is piped in.

PAT: Oh, it had to be.

STU: Really?

GLENN: I believe that --

PAT: I think it had to be.

GLENN: Well, they didn't mic the crowd.

PAT: I don't know if there even is a crowd. Is there a crowd there?

STU: I thought there was a live audience there. I mean, he seems to be talking to them at the beginning. It seems like it's a variety show.

PAT: Is he talking to us at home?

GLENN: I don't know.

PAT: I've never seen the show.

GLENN: I don't know. I've never seen it either.

VOICE: (singing) Much more than either.

PAT: So bad.

VOICE: (singing)

May have some butt stuff. It's evolution. Ain't nothing new.

PAT: Wow.

VOICE: (singing)

(music)

French treasure. 'Cause my sex joke is so (singing) more.

(music)

If they're alive, I'll date them. Channing or Jenna Tatum. I'm down for anything. Don't box in my box. Give someone new a handy and give yourself props.

VOICE: Oh, you think you're so smart. Did you learn gay in college?

VOICE: (singing) with all of that while I drop some knowledge. Sexuality is --

(music)

GLENN: Okay. Stop.

PAT: Has there been anything worst ever broadcast?

STU: Ever. Ever.

PAT: Ever. I don't think so.

GLENN: Yeah, but listen to the message.

PAT: Oh, it's science, Glenn.

GLENN: I know. My vagina has a voice.

PAT: They're singing science.

GLENN: Hey, are you? I'm Bill. Bill the vagina. Yesterday I was Carol. But today I'm Bill the vagina. Taking your calls now. Hello. I'm listening. Go ahead. Yes, Peter. Come in a little closer. What were you saying?

(laughter)

GLENN: I mean, jeez.

STU: Is that the voice she does -- is that the voice she does?

GLENN: How are you doing? Give us a whoa. Let me tell you something.

STU: That is really --

GLENN: I was vomiting out a child the other day. Oh, my gosh. Split my face wide open.

STU: Oh, okay. This is why --

(laughter)

STU: The issue here is -- no.

GLENN: If a vagina could talk, this is what it would be saying.

STU: Okay.

PAT: I think maybe it should stop talking.

STU: Yeah, no. I think that was the good --

GLENN: What, are you ashamed of me?

PAT: Yes.

STU: We are ashamed of you. Yes. Very ashamed of you.

And, again, now we've broken the record of Bill Nye for the worst moment in broadcast history, which I'm glad you reclaimed the title.

GLENN: Holy cow. Right. Thank you.

STU: It's interesting because a lot of people are offended over the content and message of that. Which she's saying -- basically saying I can't be assigned a sex.

PAT: And that's science?

STU: That's science somehow.

PAT: That's science. Jeez, man.

STU: But really, I'm much more offended at how terrible it is. Like, I don't -- they could be saying anything, and I don't think it would overcome just how awful a production it is.

PAT: No, it's unbelievably bad.

STU: It's horrific. What could they possibly have been thinking?

GLENN: You're still freaking out that my vagina has a voice.

STU: No, I know. I am.

GLENN: But my butthole has a stink beyond your wildest imagination.

STU: You've set the record already. You don't need to further it. This is like --

GLENN: Whoa. Whoa.

(laughter)

STU: This is like, you've already scored 101 points. You don't need to go for 130. Wilt. It's like, let's just calm down.

(laughter)

GLENN: Wow.

STU: That is absolutely unbelievable though. I mean, I seriously -- how in good conscience as a person who works in the entertainment industry, how could you let that on the air? That's something you light fire to the tapes before they get it to Netflix?

GLENN: No, here's the thing -- here's the thing: Netflix has spent a lot of money on that. There's nobody at Netflix that goes, yeah, well, my head has a mouth. And my mouth has a voice. You're fired. Get out. Get out.

STU: Well, I think the point with Netflix is, it's not like they're broadcasting -- this is -- it's the benefit of Netflix. They could put a bunch of crap on there too. They have a lot of great points.

GLENN: Yeah, but at some point, doesn't some shareholder go, come on?

JEFFY: And they might. They might. This is one season.

STU: But this doesn't cancel -- no one cancels a subscription over this, do they?

GLENN: No, no. Because there's so many other great shows. And so maybe it brings in some crazy nutjob liberal that subscribes and thinks it good. Maybe Bill Nye -- someone in Bill Nye's family subscribes because of this show.

GLENN: But here's the -- here's the problem: This is why -- I mean, are you seeing anybody who is conservative? Crazy, doing a show like that.

STU: No. And thank God!

GLENN: No, I know that. But they'll put anything on as long as it's liberal. As long as it's liberal, progressive, it doesn't matter. You know, the idea that the left has gone over after Fox News -- you're only thinning the herd. By making -- by making conservative views a pariah. What you do is you only allow the strongest or the craziest to stand.

And so we -- we'll stand. I'm telling you, we're going to continue to stand, even if I have to do it under a tree. I'm going to be doing -- I'm going to be saying my view under a tree, if it's only with three people. That's okay. You're not shutting me up. But the ones who last -- after you clear out -- if you make it uncomfortable for the normal people to say something, the only ones that are left are the truly dedicated or the nutjobs that will just get some other nutjob to pay for it.

STU: Well, that and, of course, obviously all the vaginas with voices. They'll always speak out. They're always there to speak out to America.

GLENN: Yeah. My vagina has a voice, but conservatives don't.

We should write a song.

STU: My vagina has a voice, but conservatives don't.

PAT: May have just broken the V-word record of all time too, right here.

GLENN: No, no. I don't believe so.

STU: It's possible. Again, in a science discussion, these things are allowed.

PAT: Pretty close.

In light of the national conversation surrounding the rights of free speech, religion and self-defense, Mercury One is thrilled to announce a brand new initiative launching this Father's Day weekend: a three-day museum exhibition in Dallas, Texas focused on the rights and responsibilities of American citizens.

This event seeks to answer three fundamental questions:

  1. As Americans, what responsibility do we shoulder when it comes to defending our rights?
  2. Do we as a nation still agree on the core principles and values laid out by our founding fathers?
  3. How can we move forward amidst uncertainty surrounding the intent of our founding ideals?

Attendees will be able to view historical artifacts and documents that reveal what has made America unique and the most innovative nation on earth. Here's a hint: it all goes back to the core principles and values this nation was founded on as laid out in the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.

Exhibits will show what the world was like before mankind had rights and how Americans realized there was a better way to govern. Throughout the weekend, Glenn Beck, David Barton, Stu Burguiere, Doc Thompson, Jeffy Fisher and Brad Staggs will lead private tours through the museum, each providing their own unique perspectives on our rights and responsibilities.

Schedule a private tour or purchase general admission ticket below:

Dates:
June 15-17

Location:

Mercury Studios

6301 Riverside Drive, Irving, TX 75039

Learn more about the event here.

About Mercury One: Mercury One is a 501(c)(3) charity founded in 2011 by Glenn Beck. Mercury One was built to inspire the world in the same way the United States space program shaped America's national destiny and the world. The organization seeks to restore the human spirit by helping individuals and communities help themselves through honor, faith, courage, hope and love. In the words of Glenn Beck:

We don't stand between government aid and people in need. We stand with people in need so they no longer need the government

Some of Mercury One's core initiatives include assisting our nation's veterans, providing aid to those in crisis and restoring the lives of Christians and other persecuted religious minorities. When evil prevails, the best way to overcome it is for regular people to do good. Mercury One is committed to helping sustain the good actions of regular people who want to make a difference through humanitarian aid and education initiatives. Mercury One will stand, speak and act when no one else will.

Support Mercury One's mission to restore the human spirit by making an online donation or calling 972-499-4747. Together, we can make a difference.

What happened?

A New York judge ruled Tuesday that a 30-year-old still living in his parents' home must move out, CNN reported.

Failure to launch …

Michael Rotondo, who had been living in a room in his parents' house for eight years, claims that he is owed a six-month notice even though they gave him five notices about moving out and offered to help him find a place and to help pay for repairs on his car.

RELATED: It's sad 'free-range parenting' has to be legislated, it used to be common sense

“I think the notice is sufficient," New York State Supreme Court Judge Donald Greenwood said.

What did the son say?

Rotondo “has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises, and claims that this is simply a component of his living agreement," he claimed in court filings.

He told reporters that he plans to appeal the “ridiculous" ruling.

Reform Conservatism and Reaganomics: A middle road?

SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images

Senator Marco Rubio broke Republican ranks recently when he criticized the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act by stating that “there's no evidence whatsoever that the money's been massively poured back into the American worker." Rubio is wrong on this point, as millions of workers have received major raises, while the corporate tax cuts have led to a spike in capital expenditure (investment on new projects) of 39 percent. However, the Florida senator is revisiting an idea that was front and center in the conservative movement before Donald Trump rode down an escalator in June of 2015: reform conservatism.

RELATED: The problem with asking what has conservatism conserved

The "reformicons," like Rubio, supported moving away from conservative or supply-side orthodoxy and toward policies such as the expansion of the child and earned income tax credits. On the other hand, longstanding conservative economic theory indicates that corporate tax cuts, by lowering disincentives on investment, will lead to long-run economic growth that will end up being much more beneficial to the middle class than tax credits.

But asking people to choose between free market economic orthodoxy and policies guided towards addressing inequality and the concerns of the middle class is a false dichotomy.

Instead of advocating policies that many conservatives might dismiss as redistributionist, reformicons should look at the ways government action hinders economic opportunity and exacerbates income inequality. Changing policies that worsen inequality satisfies limited government conservatives' desire for free markets and reformicons' quest for a more egalitarian America. Furthermore, pushing for market policies that reduce the unequal distribution of wealth would help attract left-leaning people and millennials to small government principles.

Criminal justice reform is an area that reformicons and free marketers should come together around. The drug war has been a disaster, and the burden of this misguided government approach have fallen on impoverished minority communities disproportionately, in the form of mass incarceration and lower social mobility. Not only has the drug war been terrible for these communities, it's proved costly to the taxpayer––well over a trillion dollars has gone into the drug war since its inception, and $80 billion dollars a year goes into mass incarceration.

Prioritizing retraining and rehabilitation instead of overcriminalization would help address inequality, fitting reformicons' goals, and promote a better-trained workforce and lower government spending, appealing to basic conservative preferences.

Government regulations tend to disproportionately hurt small businesses and new or would-be entrepreneurs. In no area is this more egregious than occupational licensing––the practice of requiring a government-issued license to perform a job. The percentage of jobs that require licenses has risen from five percent to 30 percent since 1950. Ostensibly justified by public health concerns, occupational licensing laws have, broadly, been shown to neither promote public health nor improve the quality of service. Instead, they serve to provide a 15 percent wage boost to licensed barbers and florists, while, thanks to the hundreds of hours and expensive fees required to attain the licenses, suppressing low-income entrepreneurship, and costing the economy $200 billion dollars annually.

Those economic losses tend to primarily hurt low-income people who both can't start businesses and have to pay more for essential services. Rolling back occupational licenses will satisfy the business wing's desire for deregulation and a more free market and the reformicons' support for addressing income inequality and increasing opportunity.

The favoritism at play in the complex tax code perpetuates inequality.

Tax expenditures form another opportunity for common ground between the Rubio types and the mainstream. Tax deductions and exclusions, both on the individual and corporate sides of the tax code, remain in place after the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. Itemized deductions on the individual side disproportionately benefit the wealthy, while corporate tax expenditures help well-connected corporations and sectors, such as the fossil fuel industry.

The favoritism at play in the complex tax code perpetuates inequality. Additionally, a more complicated tax code is less conducive to economic growth than one with lower tax rates and fewer exemptions. Therefore, a simpler tax code with fewer deductions and exclusions would not only create a more level playing field, as the reformicons desire, but also additional economic growth.

A forward-thinking economic program for the Republican Party should marry the best ideas put forward by both supply-siders and reform conservatives. It's possible to take the issues of income inequality and lack of social mobility seriously, while also keeping mainstay conservative economic ideas about the importance of less cumbersome regulations and lower taxes.

Alex Muresianu is a Young Voices Advocate studying economics at Tufts University. He is a contributor for Lone Conservative, and his writing has appeared in Townhall and The Daily Caller. He can be found on Twitter @ahardtospell.

Is this what inclusivity and tolerance look like? Fox News host Tomi Lahren was at a weekend brunch with her mom in Minnesota when other patrons started yelling obscenities and harassing her. After a confrontation, someone threw a drink at her, the moment captured on video for social media.

RELATED: Glenn Addresses Tomi Lahren's Pro-Choice Stance on 'The View'

On today's show, Pat and Jeffy talked about this uncomfortable moment and why it shows that supposedly “tolerant" liberals have to resort to physical violence in response to ideas they don't like.