DOC: Hey, there it's Doc Thompson. Thanks for joining me. Filling in for Glenn Beck today. Will be here tomorrow as well. Also joined by KRIS Cruz and Brad Staggs is here. We're all part of the morning Blaze. If you want to find out more about us, go TheBlaze.com/Doc. We have an update on covfefe.
KRIS: We know it is.
BRAD: We believe of?
DOC: Some of us know what it is.
BRAD: A select group.
DOC: A select group. Yesterday President Trump's spokesperson, press secretary Sean Spicer had a press conference and was asked about it. But it's interesting how it comes up. Listen carefully to all the little nuances when he's asked about it. And when he answers, listen to the reaction from the people in the room. Here is Sean Spicer.
>> Think people should be concerned that the president posted a somewhat of an incoherent last night and stayed up for hours.
>> Why did it stay up so long? Is no one watching this?
SEAN: The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant. Blake. Blake. Blake.
>> What is covfefe?
SEAN: Blake. Blake.
DOC: The president and a small group of people. So do you know what it means, KRIS?
KRIS: I don't know what it means.
DOC: Then you're not in that small group of people.
DOC: If only we knew what covfefe meant. If only.
KRIS: If anybody could tell us.
BRAD: Can the president tell us?
DOC: Mr. President, are you willing to share that with us?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Good morning. How is everybody?
DOC: We're doing fine. It's a very covfefe day.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It is a tremendously covfefe day. I have to tell you. It really, really is amazing.
DOC: I just want to make sure I'm using it properly.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: You know what? It is one of those words. It is so flexible and so malleable, you can use it in any conceivable way. That's the beauty of covfefe, you know?
BRAD: I can define covfefe, but I would rather drink it.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I just want to say one very, very important thing.
DOC: Yes, sir.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: That Jared Kushner, Jared Kushner has been in the news a great deal recently. I just want to say this because you have such a tremendously huge audience, and I know how much they like me. I hardly know Jared Kushner. I'm not really sure what he does here at the White House. I've only seen him in a few meetings and speaking once or twice to Ivanka. So I really don't know who he is. Okay. Let's get back to covfefe.
DOC: Well, I'm glad you clarify that because he's been in the news, you know, supposedly some back door deals.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: He just lurches around the White House. I have no idea who this guy is. He just pops up. By the way, he never says a word. I've never heard this guy speak never, ever. He could sound like Mickey Mouse, for all I know.
DOC: So my question is, there's a small group of people that really get the nuances of covfefe. Are you at liberty to say who those people are?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It was the three of us holding the orb.
KRIS: I was right. I was right. I told you. It was the guys holding the orbs.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: And you know what, I found out that orb takes you to another place and time. It's a multidimensional orb. And it's kind of one of these things where you're suddenly back in history and all this stuff, and the word covfefe came right to me. And, by the way, by the way, such, such an amazing word. You say covfefe, covfefe, you can pronounce it any way you like. That's the beauty of this word that was given to me by the people who rule the universe.
DOC: I didn't know that. That's great. So Mike Opelka who has been on this program and does noon to 3:00 on this radio network right after the program. He suggested the other day -- and how can I put this delicately, a private word that you share with Melania that may or may not reference one or one of your or her body parts.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Listen, listen. First off, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. I would never name anything on me French.
KRIS: So it is a French word.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: If I am, it's going to be very, very manly like Willie or Johnson or something like that.
DOC: Okay. So it's not something you would share in an intimate moment with your wife?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: No. No. No. And, unfortunately, I haven't had any intimate moments recently. She seems very angry at me, and I can't figure out why. I'm the president of the United States, leader of the free world, and she's always mad at me. I don't get it. Women, women, women. They're so tough. I can rule the world, but I can't figure out chicks. It's so annoying.
DOC: So we didn't have a chance to talk to you last week after you came back from your long trip over in Europe.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Was that an incredible trip? Was that the single most successful presidential trip in the history of presidential trips? Did you see? I went to Israel.
DOC: Yeah, I did.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: And the Middle East. It was tremendous. It was amazing. I went to the wall. And, by the way, is anybody Jewish in the studio?
DOC: Not in the room right now.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Has anyone been to the western wall? Let me tell you something about this wall. Tremendous wall. Thousands of years old. No Mexicans in Israel. So perfect.
Incredible. And, by the way, no whales either. No whales.
DOC: Yeah, that's a surprise. You would think there would be more.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, they told me they were there thousands of years ago when Israel was under water.
DOC: So likely then. So it has been a successful wall then.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Very, very successful. So great. I got to keep the little baby that they gave me, which I thought was nice.
DOC: Interesting. Yeah. I saw -- there was -- you stepped to the front of the crowd when prime minister of Montenegro was there, and you gave him the come on, you're Montenegro, get to the back, look.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: No, I gave him the, hey, I don't like you, get in the back look. I don't know what that is. I just gave it like him. He was blocking the way. And, by the way, that guy has dandruff. Dandruff.
DOC: Oh, I didn't know. It looked to me like you were saying, hey, the cool country's up front, Montenegro. You're lucky we let you in the room.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Let me ask you a question. Where is Montenegro on the map? Where is Montenegro?
KRIS: Wow, you got me.
DOC: By the Balkans; right?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I don't know those either. But it's not one of the top ten countries, and I don't think I should be standing around behind a guy who sounds like he's an island in the Bahamas.
KRIS: I was going to say it's close to Florida.
DOC: It's right there about 90 miles or so.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I don't know where Montenegro is but I bet you there's a bunch of restaurants in this country with that name.
DOC: Probably. Now also on your trip, is that right after for Memorial Day when you were singing the national anthem, and you were -- they were playing the national anthem, and you sung along right there, even though you're on stage.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Tremendous singer. I am so talented in so many ways. You saw me dancing in Saudi Arabia. I'm a triple threat. I can sing, I can dance, and I can lead the free world.
DOC: I just thought it was nice to see a president sing along with the national anthem. I've showed that -- I think that showed some passion.
KRIS: Not just sing. He was singing and dancing like a 4-year-old.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, I love, love, love this country. Tremendous country. I wouldn't want to lead any other country in the world, especially Montenegro. This is the one I want to lead.
DOC: Well, I mean, France's Scott key, he could put it together. That's something that has a snappy beat, and you could dance to it.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It's not an easy song. I was practicing. I called Mariah Carey.
DOC: We heard you're officially going to pull out of the Paris climate agreement.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Don't say pull out. I don't like that.
DOC: How about take back, withdrawal.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Oh, that's good. I like that. I like that. Pull out --
DOC: I understand. So the Paris climate agreement, this is not ate good deal. It seemed like you're waffling for a while. But now we're going to be done with this.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, it's over. It's over. Anything other than like a romantic weekend is a waste of time.
DOC: Is it the name that's really throwing you off that it's the Paris climate agreement? If it was, like, the Trump climate agreement or --
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I would sign that in a second. By the way, I love signing things. I think you know from the beginning of my administration. I love saluting, touring, tweeting. I don't like agreeing with other people. Chinese. And here's the thing about climate control. I want to be in charge of this, and I can't be in charge of everyone else is already in agreement. Do you see what I'm saying?
DOC: No, I do. I would have to ask you if you're talking about controlling the climate. I mean, do you have control of the thermostat at home or does your wife? I mean, who sets it?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: What is a thermostat?
DOC: That would throw everything off. But whatever. We appreciate you taking your time out of your day and explain what's going on.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It's always so incredible, and I'm doing such an amazing job. Everything -- this country is going so great. Jobs are up. The economy is doing great. The stock market is through the roof. People are much more attractive -- have you noticed how much more attractive people are?
DOC: Since you've been elected you mean or sworn in as president?
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Have you noticed how happy and attractive people are? That's one of those intangible benefits of my presidency. People are happy and attractive and a lot of women have been losing weight, which is really tremendous.
DOC: If you could get rosy on that, then I think you're talking reelection.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: You're not talking who I think you're talking about.
DOC: Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, I think you could get her to shed a few pounds. I think you have a shoo-in for election.
TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I can't believe you brought her up. I can't believe you brought her up. Okay. We're out of time. We're out of time.
DOC: Thank you so much for checking in. Appreciate it.