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President Trump's Alter Ego Explains the Mystery Behind 'Covfefe'

June 01, 2017
Staff

WRITER

Twitter can rest easy tonight. The "covefefe" mystery has been solved.

Awarding-winning impersonator John Di Domenico called into The Glenn Beck Program on Thursday as his impeccable alter ego --- Donald Trump --- to connect the dots.

"It was the three of us holding the orb," Di Domenico said as President Trump.

"That orb takes you to another place and time. It's a multidimensional orb. And it's kind of one of these things where you're suddenly back in history and all this stuff, and the word "covfefe" came right to me," he said. "That's the beauty of this word that was given to me by the people who rule the universe."

So there you have it. The universe has entrusted President Trump with "covfefe" through a multidimensional orb.

It's a tremendously covfefe day.

Listen to this hilarious segment from The Glenn Beck Program:

DOC: Hey, there it's Doc Thompson. Thanks for joining me. Filling in for Glenn Beck today. Will be here tomorrow as well. Also joined by KRIS Cruz and Brad Staggs is here. We're all part of the morning Blaze. If you want to find out more about us, go TheBlaze.com/Doc. We have an update on covfefe.

KRIS: We know it is.

BRAD: We believe of?

DOC: Some of us know what it is.

BRAD: A select group.

DOC: A select group. Yesterday President Trump's spokesperson, press secretary Sean Spicer had a press conference and was asked about it. But it's interesting how it comes up. Listen carefully to all the little nuances when he's asked about it. And when he answers, listen to the reaction from the people in the room. Here is Sean Spicer.

>> Think people should be concerned that the president posted a somewhat of an incoherent last night and stayed up for hours.

SEAN: No.

>> Why did it stay up so long? Is no one watching this?

SEAN: The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant. Blake. Blake. Blake.

>> What is covfefe?

SEAN: Blake. Blake.

DOC: The president and a small group of people. So do you know what it means, KRIS?

KRIS: I don't know what it means.

DOC: Then you're not in that small group of people.

KRIS: Okay.

DOC: If only we knew what covfefe meant. If only.

KRIS: If anybody could tell us.

BRAD: Can the president tell us?

DOC: Mr. President, are you willing to share that with us?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Good morning. How is everybody?

DOC: We're doing fine. It's a very covfefe day.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It is a tremendously covfefe day. I have to tell you. It really, really is amazing.

DOC: I just want to make sure I'm using it properly.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: You know what? It is one of those words. It is so flexible and so malleable, you can use it in any conceivable way. That's the beauty of covfefe, you know?

BRAD: I can define covfefe, but I would rather drink it.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I just want to say one very, very important thing.

DOC: Yes, sir.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: That Jared Kushner, Jared Kushner has been in the news a great deal recently. I just want to say this because you have such a tremendously huge audience, and I know how much they like me. I hardly know Jared Kushner. I'm not really sure what he does here at the White House. I've only seen him in a few meetings and speaking once or twice to Ivanka. So I really don't know who he is. Okay. Let's get back to covfefe.

DOC: Well, I'm glad you clarify that because he's been in the news, you know, supposedly some back door deals.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: He just lurches around the White House. I have no idea who this guy is. He just pops up. By the way, he never says a word. I've never heard this guy speak never, ever. He could sound like Mickey Mouse, for all I know.

DOC: So my question is, there's a small group of people that really get the nuances of covfefe. Are you at liberty to say who those people are?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It was the three of us holding the orb.

KRIS: I was right. I was right. I told you. It was the guys holding the orbs.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: And you know what, I found out that orb takes you to another place and time. It's a multidimensional orb. And it's kind of one of these things where you're suddenly back in history and all this stuff, and the word covfefe came right to me. And, by the way, by the way, such, such an amazing word. You say covfefe, covfefe, you can pronounce it any way you like. That's the beauty of this word that was given to me by the people who rule the universe.

DOC: I didn't know that. That's great. So Mike Opelka who has been on this program and does noon to 3:00 on this radio network right after the program. He suggested the other day -- and how can I put this delicately, a private word that you share with Melania that may or may not reference one or one of your or her body parts.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Listen, listen. First off, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. I would never name anything on me French.

[Laughter]

KRIS: So it is a French word.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: If I am, it's going to be very, very manly like Willie or Johnson or something like that.

[Laughter]

DOC: Okay. So it's not something you would share in an intimate moment with your wife?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: No. No. No. And, unfortunately, I haven't had any intimate moments recently. She seems very angry at me, and I can't figure out why. I'm the president of the United States, leader of the free world, and she's always mad at me. I don't get it. Women, women, women. They're so tough. I can rule the world, but I can't figure out chicks. It's so annoying.

DOC: So we didn't have a chance to talk to you last week after you came back from your long trip over in Europe.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Was that an incredible trip? Was that the single most successful presidential trip in the history of presidential trips? Did you see? I went to Israel.

DOC: Yeah, I did.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: And the Middle East. It was tremendous. It was amazing. I went to the wall. And, by the way, is anybody Jewish in the studio?

DOC: Not in the room right now.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Has anyone been to the western wall? Let me tell you something about this wall. Tremendous wall. Thousands of years old. No Mexicans in Israel. So perfect.

[Laughter]

Incredible. And, by the way, no whales either. No whales.

DOC: Yeah, that's a surprise. You would think there would be more.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, they told me they were there thousands of years ago when Israel was under water.

DOC: So likely then. So it has been a successful wall then.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Very, very successful. So great. I got to keep the little baby that they gave me, which I thought was nice.

DOC: Interesting. Yeah. I saw -- there was -- you stepped to the front of the crowd when prime minister of Montenegro was there, and you gave him the come on, you're Montenegro, get to the back, look.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: No, I gave him the, hey, I don't like you, get in the back look. I don't know what that is. I just gave it like him. He was blocking the way. And, by the way, that guy has dandruff. Dandruff.

DOC: Oh, I didn't know. It looked to me like you were saying, hey, the cool country's up front, Montenegro. You're lucky we let you in the room.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Let me ask you a question. Where is Montenegro on the map? Where is Montenegro?

KRIS: Wow, you got me.

DOC: By the Balkans; right?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I don't know those either. But it's not one of the top ten countries, and I don't think I should be standing around behind a guy who sounds like he's an island in the Bahamas.

KRIS: I was going to say it's close to Florida.

DOC: It's right there about 90 miles or so.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I don't know where Montenegro is but I bet you there's a bunch of restaurants in this country with that name.

DOC: Probably. Now also on your trip, is that right after for Memorial Day when you were singing the national anthem, and you were -- they were playing the national anthem, and you sung along right there, even though you're on stage.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Tremendous singer. I am so talented in so many ways. You saw me dancing in Saudi Arabia. I'm a triple threat. I can sing, I can dance, and I can lead the free world.

DOC: I just thought it was nice to see a president sing along with the national anthem. I've showed that -- I think that showed some passion.

KRIS: Not just sing. He was singing and dancing like a 4-year-old.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, I love, love, love this country. Tremendous country. I wouldn't want to lead any other country in the world, especially Montenegro. This is the one I want to lead.

DOC: Well, I mean, France's Scott key, he could put it together. That's something that has a snappy beat, and you could dance to it.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It's not an easy song. I was practicing. I called Mariah Carey.

DOC: We heard you're officially going to pull out of the Paris climate agreement.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Don't say pull out. I don't like that.

DOC: How about take back, withdrawal.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Oh, that's good. I like that. I like that. Pull out --

DOC: I understand. So the Paris climate agreement, this is not ate good deal. It seemed like you're waffling for a while. But now we're going to be done with this.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Well, it's over. It's over. Anything other than like a romantic weekend is a waste of time.

DOC: Is it the name that's really throwing you off that it's the Paris climate agreement? If it was, like, the Trump climate agreement or --

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I would sign that in a second. By the way, I love signing things. I think you know from the beginning of my administration. I love saluting, touring, tweeting. I don't like agreeing with other people. Chinese. And here's the thing about climate control. I want to be in charge of this, and I can't be in charge of everyone else is already in agreement. Do you see what I'm saying?

DOC: No, I do. I would have to ask you if you're talking about controlling the climate. I mean, do you have control of the thermostat at home or does your wife? I mean, who sets it?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: What is a thermostat?

DOC: That would throw everything off. But whatever. We appreciate you taking your time out of your day and explain what's going on.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: It's always so incredible, and I'm doing such an amazing job. Everything -- this country is going so great. Jobs are up. The economy is doing great. The stock market is through the roof. People are much more attractive -- have you noticed how much more attractive people are?

DOC: Since you've been elected you mean or sworn in as president?

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: Have you noticed how happy and attractive people are? That's one of those intangible benefits of my presidency. People are happy and attractive and a lot of women have been losing weight, which is really tremendous.

DOC: If you could get rosy on that, then I think you're talking reelection.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: You're not talking who I think you're talking about.

DOC: Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, I think you could get her to shed a few pounds. I think you have a shoo-in for election.

TRUMP IMPERSONATOR: I can't believe you brought her up. I can't believe you brought her up. Okay. We're out of time. We're out of time.

DOC: Thank you so much for checking in. Appreciate it.

Dockworker strike: Everything you need to know

Anadolu / Contributor | Getty Images

At midnight on September 30th, dockworkers across the East Coast went on strike, effectively cutting the country's import and export capabilities in half.

Don't go out and panic buy a pallet of toilet paper and instant ramen just yet. It's going to take some time for the full effects of the strike to be felt and hopefully, the strike will be good and over by then. But there are no guarantees, and this election cycle could get significantly more insane as we draw near to the election. And even if the strike is settled quickly, it shows growing cracks in our infrastructure and industrial capacity that needs to be addressed if America wants to maintain its global dominance.

Here is everything you need to know about the dockworker strike:

What do the dockworkers want?

Anadolu / Contributor | Getty Images

As with most strikes, pay is the driving factor behind this situation the country now finds itself in. The longshoremen want more pay, and with rising inflation who can blame them? After all, working the docks is hard and dangerous business, and fair compensation only seems... fair. But when you compare the wage of a dockworker, which is around $100,000 to $200,00 a year to the average income in America of $56,000, suddenly they seem significantly less sympathetic.

How much money are they asking for? For most Americans, a three percent raise is considered high, but the unions are asking up to 15 percent, depending on location. On top of that, they are asking for a 77 percent raise over the next six years. The West Coast dock workers recently made off with a 36 percent raise and were considered lucky. These increases in costs are just going to be transferred to the end consumer, and we'll likely see a jump in prices if these terms are accepted.

The other major ticket item is protection against automation. Autonomous ports are quickly becoming a reality, with major ports in China that are capable of handling vast amounts of cargo being run by a single office, not an army of dock workers. Naturally, the longshoremen are concerned that their jobs are at risk of being replaced by machines that can work harder, longer, for cheaper, and without risk of injury.

How will it affect Americans?

Joe Raedle / Staff | Getty Images

Don't panic yet!

It is going to take some time for consumers to feel the effects of the strike and it is possible that a resolution could happen at any time.

Week one should be pretty much business as usual. It might be a good idea to stock up on fruit and other perishables, but there is no need to go COVID-lockdown-crazy yet.

Week two is when you'll first start feeling the pinch. Fresh fruits and veggies will become scarce, along with other imported goods like shoes, toys, and TVs. Prices will start to creep up as the shelves will start to look a little sparse. The supply of tools, lumber, and other hardware materials will also begin to dry up.

By week three, the cracks in the system will really start to show. Entire industries will begin to slow down, or even stop. Factory workers will get furloughed and sent home without pay. Stores will have to ration items, prices will be sky-high, and online orders will come to a standstill. At this point, the strike will have escalated into a full-blown crisis, and even if it was resolved immediately, it would still take weeks to restore everything to working order.

At the four-week mark, the situation will have developed into a national security crisis, and as Glenn describes, a poly-crisis. Small business will be closing their doors, entire brands will be out of stock, and everything that remains will be so expensive it is unaffordable. By this point, the holiday season will be drawing near and there will be a rush on any sort of gift or decor items left. At this point, irreparable damage to our economy will have occurred and it will be months if not years before it can be mended.

While that sounds bleak, with the election just around the corner, it seems unlikely that the Biden-Harris administration will let it get that bad. That being said, their administration has not been characterized by good decision-making and reasonable policy, so there are no guarantees.

What can be done?

The Washington Post / Contributor | Getty Images

The big question is "Why hasn't Biden already done something?"

President Biden, who ran on the image of a blue-collar, union-worker, has been uncharacteristically absent from the issue. Despite his earlier involvement in a train strike, Biden has declared that involvement in union fights is not a presidential issue unless it getsreally bad.

So where's the line? At what point will he step in? He has to understand that an economic crisis right before the election will reflect poorly on Kamala.

Join Glenn TONIGHT for BlazeTV's exclusive VP debate coverage!

Anna Moneymaker / Staff, Bloomberg / Contributor | Getty Images

Join Glenntonight for Vice Presidential debate coverage you do not want to miss!

Tonight is the first (and only) Vice Presidential debate, and it will be hosted by CBS News. But don't be reliant on CBS News or any other mainstream media channel for their biased coverage. Join the BlazeTV live stream tonight to get the uncensored truth alongside top-quality commentary from Glenn and the rest of the world-class panel.

Glenn is joined by Megyn Kelly, Liz Wheeler, Allie Beth Stuckey, Steve Deace, Jill Savage, Dave Landau, and more to cover the CBS News Vice Presidential Debate. Blaze Media subscribers gain access to live chat with the fantastic panel of hosts! If you subscribe today by visiting BlazeTV.com/debate you will get $40 off of your annual subscription with code DEBATE. This is the largest discount ever offered, so take advantage NOW!

See you TONIGHT at 8 PM ET for an event you do NOT want to miss it!

POLL: Can the VP debate affect the election?

DOMINIC GWINN / Contributor, Dia Dipasupil / Staff | Getty Images

The first (and likely only) Vice President debate will be held on CBS News on Tuesday, October 1st.

The debate takes place at 9 p.m. Eastern Time and will be the first time we see J.D. Vance and Tim Walz face off in person. Typically, the VP debate is little more than a formality, and rarely does it affect the election in any significant way. But this is no ordinary election. The stakes are higher than they have been in years, and Trump and Harris are still in a razor-thin race, according to the polls. Both Vance and Walz are relative newcomers to the national stage and still have room to make an impression on the American people, and with the race as tight as it is, that might make all the difference.

So what do you think? Can this VP debate make an impact on the election? Are you going to tune in? And what sort of questions and issues need to be brought up? Let us know in the poll below:

Will this VP debate be important in the overall election?

Are you going to watch the VP debate?

Should the debaters be asked about the Biden-Harris administration's failing economy?

Should the debaters be asked about climate change and energy policy?

Should the debaters be asked about the rise of globalism?

Five things that PROVE Kamala's plan for climate authoritarianism

Jeff Swensen / Stringer | Getty Images

If you wanted to cripple America for years, what would be the best way to go about it?

If your mind immediately went to the power grid, you think a lot like Glenn. For decades the secret to America's growth and prosperity has been its abundant and relatively cheap energy. Electricity has been so cheap for so long that many Americans take it for granted, though raising prices has put it back on many people's radars.

There are forces on the Left, including Kamala Harris, who is working to be "unburdened by what has been," and plunge America into a dystopian future where only the elite can afford "luxuries" like A/C and dishwashers. While Kamala has either remained silent or been dismissive of her radical climate policies, here are things that prove that Kamala has disastrous plans for our energy future:

Kamala endorsed the Green New Deal

Bloomberg / Contributor | Getty Images

In 2019, then-Senator Harris was proud to co-sponsor the Green New Deal. This was, by all metrics, the most authoritarian legislation in U.S. history. It was so over the top, cartoonishly evil, that it hardly seemed real. It aimed to ban all coal, oil, natural gas, and nuclear power, and dismantle and rebuild every aspect of our lives, from what we eat to how we travel (for the worse). It also aimed to provide economic security to those "unwilling to work," aka, money for nothing.

Had several failed climate actions

Alex Wong / Staff | Getty Images

After the Green New Deal was defeated, Kamala tried several times to pass something similar. First was the "Comprehensive Climate Plan" which she introduced during her 2019 presidential bid. This plan had a staggering 10 TRILLION DOLLAR price tag, which is double the entire U.S. federal budget and aimed at exceeding the Paris Agreement climate goals.

In 2020, she introduced the Climate Equity Act, which would have created another government office called the "Climate and Environmental Equity Office.” This office would review all congressional bills and judge their potential impact on "communities that have experienced environmental injustice or are vulnerable to climate injustice.” As if that wasn't overreaching enough, it would also require every government agency to publish a biannual "climate and environmental justice accountability agenda.”

Finally, she pushed the “Environmental Justice for All Act,” which is exactly what it says on the tin. It boils down to a bunch of new rules and advisory bodies that would give cash handouts to "environmental justice communities." Fortunately, just like the other two this one never saw the light of day.

Inflation reduction act

Michael M. Santiago / Staff | Getty Images

The crowning jewel of Kamala's "historic" vice presidency was when she cast the tie-breaking vote to pass the Green New Deal Jr, otherwise known as the Inflation Reduction Act. While it was obvious from the beginning that the Inflation Reduction Act had nothing to do with inflation, and was just a climate change bill in disguise, Biden recently confirmed this to all the nay-sayers. Kamala confirmed that this was more than just another Biden gaffe when she admitted that it is "the single largest climate investment in American history.”

So what fruits does this wonderful piece of legislation have to offer? 60 out of the promised 2,000+ EV school buses. It is unclear if the delay is caused by schools backing out of the program due to the technological limitations of the busses or the outrageous cost- more than three times that of a traditional bus. Kamala's vision of the future sure is bright.

Skyrocketing home prices

PATRICK T. FALLON / Contributor | Getty Images

If the Inflation Reduction Act is the greatest climate bill ever, then we have a pretty good idea of how it affects the average American: poorly. Over the past year, U.S. electricity prices have risen 3.6 percent, which outpaces inflation. Current estimates suggest the average American is paying 5,000 dollars a year more on utilities than they were before Biden and Kamala took office. Not to mention all the new green mandates enforced on new homes, which on average is adding 31,000 dollars to the price of homes.

Judging by the climate-leading state of California, this is pretty standard. Californians' electricity bill has gone up over three times faster than the rest of the nation since 2008 and Californians collectively owe more than 2 billion dollars in unpaid utility bills. Not to mention the havoc green energy is playing on the electric grid.

Ban fracking

Spencer Platt / Staff | Getty Images

Over the last fifteen years, the U.S. has reduced our emissions more than any other nation, but this was accomplished despite the authoritarian legislation, not because of it. Natural free-market developments have encouraged a transition from coal to natural gas, largely due to fracking, which has dramatically increased the availability of the fuel. A whopping 43 percent of American electricity is generated by natural gas, meaning its price has a huge impact on the cost of energy. So naturally the Biden-Harris administration has cracked down on natural gas and oil exploration, and in 2019 Kamala stated that she favored banning fracking. She has since walked back that statement, but seeing how hostile the administration has been towards fracking it's almost certain that a Kamala presidency would spell doom for natural gas.