Forget Rabies, 'Woke' Hipsters in Brooklyn Skipping Vaccines to Prevent 'Dogtism'

Brooklyn veterinarians are seeing a rise in the number of people who don’t want to vaccinate their pets, the Brooklyn Paper reported.

“We do see a higher number of clients who don’t want to vaccinate their animals,” Dr. Amy Ford of the Veterinarian Wellness Center of Boerum Hill told the Brooklyn Paper. She went on to theorize that the trend was connected to the anti-vaccination movement, which claims that vaccines make children autistic.

Wednesday on radio, Glenn addressed the ridiculous story.

“In Brooklyn, they’re woke,” Glenn explained sarcastically.

Another veterinarian in the area noted they've "never diagnosed autism in a dog” and didn't think it was possible.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals recommends vaccinating pets and says that most pets have no negative side effects. For dogs, the main vaccines considered necessary are for canine parvovirus, distemper, canine hepatitis and rabies.

"I just can't . . . people are actually struggling around the world and here in America," Glenn said.

He noted the real struggles of people like Charlie Gard's parents and the child in the U.S. fighting the same condition.

"Imagine what that family is going through. And these people who are so-called "woke" are talking about not getting their dogs vaccinated for rabies because it might cause autism!" Glenn blasted.

Always there for a good laugh, co-host Stu Burguiere chimed in to relieve the tension.

"I think this is one of the issues they're trying to fix with Obamacare --- but Obamacare doesn't even cover dogtism," Stu said.

GLENN: There's also another story that I think you need to be aware of that I think is really very -- it explains a lot. You know, I'm a dog lover. And for any of you who have dogs, if you have a dog, you're going to really want to pay attention to this one.

Hipsters in Brooklyn, they're woke, okay? So, you know, can't put them to sleep. They know what's going on.

They're woke. Hipsters now in Brooklyn are now seeing the stories about the vaccinating children and how that's turning everybody into a robot and autism and everything else. I'm not willing to wholly reject that, but I'm also not willing to wholly embrace that. But I'm willing to listen to that. But here's -- they've taken it a step further.

In Brooklyn now, there is a very high number of hipsters that are not willing to vaccinate their dogs because they believe that that will give their dog increased --

PAT: Autism.

GLENN: -- chance of having autism. And I will tell you something -- let me tell you something -- my dog is 77. Still doesn't say a word to me. And can't read.

STU: What?

PAT: He's autistic. I think he's on the spectrum.

GLENN: Yeah. Big time. Big time. Once in a while, he'll bite and chew on things.

PAT: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

STU: So it's dogtistic?

GLENN: What -- how could you make fun of something like --

STU: Make fun of it. I'm saying it's dogtistic. It's dogtism.

GLENN: All of my dogs, which all have had vaccines.

STU: Dogtism. Dogtism. You're saying it's dogtism. And now you're acting as if it's not a real thing.

GLENN: No, don't. It is autism. When you see my dog now -- I just want you to try to look at my dog and not think autistic. He's totally on the spectrum. He's not good at social gatherings. He'll come out, all of a sudden, he'll just try to make love to somebody's leg.

PAT: Wow.

GLENN: Like I said, he's chewing on things. I can't get him to read. He does not speak to his mom and I.

PAT: Uh-huh.

GLENN: Sometimes he will just crap in the house. I don't know what to do. It's the vaccines.

STU: No. No. It's not. Not at all.

GLENN: Are you -- are you saying that these hipsters who are woke in Brooklyn may be dead freaking asleep? Is that what you're saying to me?

STU: I am saying that.

GLENN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

STU: As someone who does reject the vaccines/autism link, I also reject the fact that any dog has ever been diagnosed with autism because it doesn't exist in dogs or at least has never been diagnosed.

GLENN: Oh, okay. How about climate change and global warming? Does that exist? Human-caused climate change, yes or no?

STU: Absolutely. Of course, it does.

GLENN: Okay.

STU: See, I'm woke.

GLENN: Liar. Liar. Now, dogs do have a .04 chance of being allergic to vaccinations.

STU: .04 percent, okay. But doctors are saying they're -- there really is not a worry of -- of having your dog due to a vaccine get autism.

STU: Yeah, no. It's not a thing. In case you were worried about it somewhere, it is not a thing.

PAT: It's not even a thing in humans. You know.

GLENN: It is worse -- it is worse than human autism. Dogs when they're autistic, they eat their own poop.

STU: You're saying dogtism is worse than autism.

GLENN: Okay. Continue to make fun. I'm just trying to save dogs.

STU: You know, at least autism is a thing among humans.

PAT: But the vaccine giving humans autism is not a thing.

GLENN: Honestly, I read this story today and I thought to myself, "Lord, we're begging you to destroy us."

PAT: Yes.

GLENN: We're just begging you to destroy us. We are so incredibly stupid. The woman with the IQ of 72 whose house is clean, who has had visitations for the last 14 months. There's no -- there's no neglect. There's no problem. We're saying, justify you being a mother. And these people who are, quote, woke hipsters won't have vaccinations for their dogs because they're worried their dog will have autism. You don't need to destroy us, Lord.

PAT: No, we've done a pretty good job of that ourselves.

GLENN: We're doing it ourself. Oh, my gosh. Just ugh.

PAT: It doesn't -- it doesn't get much worse than dog autism, does it?

STU: You mean dogtism?

PAT: That is just stupid.

STU: We're going to make dogtism happen. It will go on.

GLENN: No, it won't happen. That's your goal.

PAT: These are the same people who believe in global warming though, man-caused global warming. We're destroying the planet --

GLENN: Oh, yeah.

STU: Oh, yeah. I mean, RFK Jr. is one of the preeminent guys that come out on TV and tell you how bad global warming is and how autism is related to vaccines. Now, I don't know if he's on the dogtism bandwagon yet. But it's coming. If he's not on it already, it's coming.

And you'll notice RFK Jr. is not a conservative. They try to make science deniers out of all conservatives. You think Jenny McCarthy is a conservative?

PAT: Nope.

STU: Is Jenny McCarthy the world's most prominent anti-vaxxer a big time conservative? Is that what she is? I don't think so.

GLENN: I just can't -- I just can't take -- as people are actually struggling around the world and here in America, actually struggle to believe -- imagine the family in Kalamazoo. Imagine you find out that your child has what Charlie Gard had. You know what just happened in England. God help you, if you don't have insurance. Are you on Obamacare?

What's going to happen if you're on Obamacare? Is that family on Obamacare? Is that family on our entry Gateway drug of socialized medicine?

So imagine what they're going through. Imagine what they're feeling and what they're thinking. Imagine if you don't have insurance -- and even if you do have insurance, will that disease and its treatment be covered? Imagine what that family is going through. And these people who are so-called woke are talking about not getting their dogs vaccinated for rabies because it might cause autism in my dog!

STU: I think this is one of the issues they're trying to fix with Obamacare. But Obamacare doesn't even cover dogtism.

PAT: Are you sure of that?

STU: Almost positive. Almost positive.

GLENN: You're trying really hard.

STU: I am. It's going to happen. This will be a segment on NBC in two weeks. The dogtism problem.

GLENN: Don't laugh. Do not laugh. That could absolutely be a story.

STU: 100 percent. We just need to get Trump to not tweet for a day so they could actually do a segment not related to Trump. And then that segment, definitely dogtism.

JEFFY: I mean, he can still tweet, right.

STU: He should tweet about dogtism. You want to get people started and thrown off on another topic. People are like, "Oh, they're talking about Russia every day. And the palace intrigue in the White House.


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