PAT: And speaking of thanking people. Have you seen The Tonight Show, Thank You, Hillary, video they did the other not? They had all the female writers for The Tonight Show get together and thank Hillary for whatever it was she's done. And Miley Cyrus was apparently there.
JEFFY: Oh, good. That's good. This is agonizing, listen to this.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for being the first female presidential candidate nominated by a major party, and also the first female senator of New York.
VOICE: And also the first First Lady to transcend First Ladyhood to become Secretary of State.
VOICE: I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you, Hillary Clinton, for being the Hillary Clinton of American politics.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for handling this difficult transition with more grace than I ever could have imagined.
PAT: Wow, you can't imagine very much grace then. I mean, if she handled this with more grace than you ever could imagine, you've got a terrible imagination. You need to get out. You need to look at some fairytales and develop that imagination a little bit. She's handled this worse than anybody I've ever seen. She's continually blaming something or everyone else for the loss.
VOICE: That being said, call me day or night, and I will be there with a gallon of ice cream and two spoons to tell you, "Girl, you are so much better than him."
VOICE: And thank you, Hillary, for all the work you've done for public health care.
PAT: Oh, yeah.
VOICE: Ever since the election, I've really depended on my government-subsidized antianxiety medications.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary, for remaining strong and showing poise before, during, and especially after the election.
PAT: Wow. Poise.
VOICE: You taught me that dealing with a difficult defeat, it's okay to take time to reflect, set your focus on a new path forward, and maybe find a cave in the woods to scream into.
PAT: I wouldn't mind if it was a cave in the woods she was screaming into.
JEFFY: I would be happy with that. In fact, I know a couple.
PAT: She continues to scream into microphones with cameras all around her. That's what bothers me.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary, for always sticking to the issues. Even as people criticize you for superficial things like your hair, your wardrobe, and your appearance, you showed girls everywhere that politics isn't a popularity contest.
PAT: She also showed girls everywhere how good you can look in a Mao outfit.
PAT: I mean, that's invaluable.
VOICE: Because if it were, you would have won by about 3 million votes.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary. I was with her. I'm still with her. And right now, I literally am with her.
VOICE: Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for being someone I continue to admire and look up to, and for standing up to critics who said that a woman couldn't be president because they would be too emotional, impulsive, and unpredictable.
PAT: Now, who said that? I never once heard that during the campaign. You ever heard that?
JEFFY: And, by the way, she isn't president.
PAT: Yeah, thank you. Yeah.
VOICE: So glad we didn't end up with someone like that.
VOICE: Thank you -- thank you, Hillary, for being a constant beacon of strength, hope, and determination for me and millions of other --
PAT: This is Miley Cyrus now, getting all emotional over Hillary. Embarrassing.
VOICE: -- young women. You've been a role model and an inspiration and a voice of reason in uncertain times.
MILEY: I could go on and on, but I'd like to get right to the point. Can I give you a hug?
PAT: Please don't.
HILLARY: Thank you, Miley. The Tonight Show writers and all of the women and young girls out there. You are smart, strong, and deserving of every opportunity. Together, we've made our voices heard. We've done great things. And we've come a long way. But as Miley would say, we can't stop, and we won't stop.
PAT: Oh. Isn't that wonderful?
JEFFY: She is agonizing.
PAT: Thank you, Hillary. Thank you for being the worst candidate who has ever run for president.
JEFFY: Thank you.
PAT: And not being elected, even though everybody -- everybody thought you were the absolute walk --
JEFFY: Walk. You were in. That was it. Even yourself.
PAT: Of all walks. So thank you, Hillary.
JEFFY: You yourself. And those writers, it's no wonder The Tonight Show is not funny.
PAT: That's for sure. That's just sad and pathetic.
PAT: 888-727-BECK. It's Pat Gray and Jeffy for Glenn on the Glenn Beck Program.