‘An Army of Clones’: This Invasive Crayfish Can Self-Clone for Almost Unlimited Copies

What’s going on?

Scientists are fascinated and horrified by a species of crayfish that doesn’t need a mother and a father for eggs to be fertilized. Marbled crayfish can clone themselves: The mother crayfish’s eggs grow into copies of her through parthenogenesis.

“Every single one has the ability to reproduce. Every single one could start a new population,” crustacean researcher Zen Faulkes told The Atlantic.

Stu and Glenn talked about this bizarre science story on today’s show.

Should we be prepared for an invasion?

Maybe not yet, but it doesn’t hurt to be on the lookout! A German aquarium owner first alerted scientists to the existence of the marbled crayfish when he noticed that some “Texas crayfish” he’d purchased were mysteriously filling up the tank.

The marbled crayfish has spread across Europe in recent years and is threatening native crayfish in Madagascar. Just one can produce hundreds of eggs at a time.

Yikes … do we know why this happened?

It’s still a mystery. For the first time, scientists have learned more through sequencing the DNA of the marbled crayfish – of 11 marbled crayfish, to be exact. They were all clones, the progeny of one single crayfish that inexplicably reproduced by self-replicating. Scientists also discovered that the marbled crayfish is triploid, which means that it has three sets of chromosomes.

This article provided courtesy of TheBlaze.

GLENN: Welcome back to the program. You know, we were just talking about these crayfish that are -- have mutated and now they can -- they can have babies without having a male. The women self-fertilize the eggs. And they're taking over Europe. I see this as a movie. A bad 1950s B movie.

STU: They're cloning themselves. Literally cloning -- genetically cloning themselves. And I guess they become popular, aquarium hobbyists in the 1990s. Because they were bigger than the normal ones. And they produce lots of eggs, so you get lots of extras. And they kept producing so many extras, people started freaking out and just bringing them to local lakes and just dumping them into lakes, the extras. And then, of course, obviously, free to roam, they're very resilient, they're able to produce more and more and more. And now they're all over the world. No one knows how to get rid of them, or what to do with them.

GLENN: It's honestly like the -- is it the rabbit population in Australia? Do you know that?

I think it's rabbits, isn't it?

STU: I know one phrase about rabbits that works into the story.

GLENN: I know. But I can't remember how this worked. But somebody brought over I think it was rabbits to Australia. And there was the natural predators were not strong enough. And the rabbit population went crazy and overrun -- I think it's Australia, with rabbits. And it was a real problem over in Australia. Because people -- you know -- the cute little crawfish. But you're taking it out of its natural little habitat. And you're starting to dump it. And it doesn't necessarily have any predators. And in this case, it's genetically cloning itself.

STU: Is that the one where there's like a whole island, where it's just like covered in --

GLENN: I don't know. It might be a book that I read with my kids at night. I don't know.

STU: It's interesting though that they say that the -- about one out of every 10,000 species, this occurs with. There's some mutation. And then the woman -- the lovely woman, she --

GLENN: The craw person.

STU: The craw person is very much says me too and doesn't want to be with the men anymore.

GLENN: Right.

STU: And then she starts having her own clone babies. And I guess it's relatively common.

GLENN: Well, wait. One out of every 10,000. How come we haven't been overrun by whatever it is?

STU: We sadly think the same way. Because I was reading the whole article. Like, wait a minute. We're going to have like 9 feet of crawfish in two weeks. That was the way I was ending this.

GLENN: Right. It's Moore's Law.

STU: Right.

Apparently, they have a very strange life cycle, these species. Because they launch, and they -- like, legitimately they don't know exactly what happened. But about 25 years ago, this is a brand-new species. And it has this huge run where they multiply like crazy. And then they all sort of die out at once.

And what they believe is because they're genetic clones, they're affected by the same things. So when a disease hits one, it hits all of them at once and wipes them all out.

GLENN: That's what happened to the Aztecs.

STU: It's what happens in every space horror movie. Every sci-fi film. I mean, War of the Worlds, right?

GLENN: Yeah. H.G. Wells. He was -- I think he was the first to do it. Where it was the common cold that killed the aliens.

STU: Yeah. And just -- spoiler alert --

GLENN: In case you happen to be in the world of H.G. Wells.


STU: But, yeah, that's what happens. It's kind of crazy. So it's a --

GLENN: So you're saying that diversity is a good thing.

STU: Yeah, I guess.

GLENN: Right? That's what you're saying.

STU: I am. Even around cray people.

GLENN: Around cray people. Crawfish are people too.

STU: They are.

GLENN: That's interesting. Because you would think that maybe -- maybe we would -- maybe we would actually celebrate diversity instead of saying we celebrate diversity. We would actually -- you know what's crazy about this is I guarantee you, when they start to die out, it will be blamed on whoever, the polluters, the planet, or whoever. They will complete dismiss this happened, all the time. And they will start a save the crayfish, you know, fund. And we will have to save -- and people will pour money in. They'll say it's the worst thing ever. And look at what we're doing to these poor crawfish. These are unique crawfish. And they'll spend billions of dollars to try to save them.

STU: Yeah, probably.

GLENN: When it's kind of natural.

'The Handmaid's Tale' got it right, just with the wrong religion

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Just in case The Handmaid's Tale's heavy-handed message wasn't already heavy-handed enough, a recent episode made it clear there's always room for further hysteria. Particularly, in relation to depictions of a “patriarchal society" run by Christian doctrine and determined by men — oh those dastardly men.

RELATED: Christian privilege is the new white privilege

The show appropriates Margaret Atwood of the same name, depicting a totalitarian society led by Christian doctrine in which women's bodies are controlled, and they have no rights. The story sounds familiar, but not in the same way Atwood and the show's creators have so smugly assumed.

Just as tone-deaf as 4th wave feminism itself, and tone-deaf in all the exact same places. Most notably, the show's heavy-handed indignation toward Christianity. Toward the patriarchy. Toward conservatives and traditional values. And just like 4th wave feminism, the show completely overlooks the irony at play. Because there is a part of the world where women and children are being raped and mutilated. In fact, in this very real place, the women or girls are often imprisoned, even executed, for being raped, and they are mutilated in unspeakable ways.

Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life.

There is a place, a very real place, where women are forced to cover their entire bodies with giant tarp-like blankets, which is all the more brutal given the endless heat of this place. There is a place where women literally have one-third of the rights of men, a place where women are legally, socially and culturally worth less than men.

They cannot drive cars. They cannot be outside alone. They cannot divorce, they cannot even choose who they marry and often, they are forcibly married at a young age.

They are raped. A lot. Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life. This is the life of tens, perhaps hundreds of millions of women. And, I'll tell you, their religion isn't Christianity.

Science did it again. It only took 270 million years, but this week, scientists finally solved the mystery that has kept the world up at night. We finally know where octopuses come from: outer space. That explains why they look like the aliens in just about every alien movie ever made.

RELATED: Changes in technology can be cause for concern, but THIS is amazing

It turns out octopuses were aliens that evolved on another planet. Scientists haven't determined which one yet, but they've definitely narrowed it down to one of the planets in one of the galaxies. Hundreds of millions of years ago (give or take a hundred), these evolved octopus aliens arrived on Earth in the form of cryopreserved eggs. Now, this part is just speculation, but it's possible their alien planet was on the verge of destruction, so Mom and Dad Octopus self-sacrificially placed Junior in one of these cryopreserved eggs and blasted him off the planet to save their kind.

This alien-octopus research, co-authored by a group of 33 scientists, was published in the Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology journal. I'm sure you keep that on your nightstand like I do.

Anyway, these scientists say octopuses evolved very rapidly over 270 million years. Which sounds slow, but in evolutionary terms, 270 million years is like light speed. And the only explanation for their breakneck evolution is that they're aliens. The report says, “The genome of the Octopus shows a staggering level of complexity with 33,000 protein-coding genes — more than is present in Homo sapiens."

Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

They mention that the octopus' large brain, sophisticated nervous system, camera-like eyes, flexible bodies and ability to change color and shape all point to its alien nature. Octopuses developed those capabilities rather suddenly in evolution, whereas we're still trying to figure out the TV remote.

These biological enhancements are so far ahead of regular evolution that the octopuses must have either time-traveled from the future, or “more realistically" according to scientists, crash-landed on earth in those cryopreserved egg thingies. The report says the eggs arrived here in “icy bolides." I had to look up what a “bolide" is, and turns out it's a fancy word for a meteor.

So, to recap: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien race of octopuses packed their sperm-bank samples in some meteors and shot them toward Earth. Lucky for us, they landed in the water. Otherwise, we might be octopus pets.

President Trump's approval rating is rising, and Democrats — hilariously — can't seem to figure out what's going on. A few months ago Democrats enjoyed a sixteen point lead over Republicans, but now — according to CNN's recent national survey — that lead is down to just THREE points. National data from Reuters shows it as being even worse.

The Democratic advantage moving towards the halfway mark into 2018 shows that Republicans are only ONE point behind. The president's public approval rating is rising, and Democrats are nervously looking at each other like… “umm guys, what are we doing wrong here?"

I'm going to give Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi a little hint. We know that the Left has enjoyed a “special relationship" with the media, but they might want to have a sit down with their propaganda machine. The mainstream media is completely out of control, and Americans are sick of it. We're DONE with the media.

RELATED: The mainstream media wants you to believe Trump is waging war on immigrants — here's the truth

Look what has been going on just this week. The president called MS-13 gang members animals, but that's not the story the media jumped on. They thought it was more clickable to say that Trump was calling all immigrants animals instead. In the Middle East, the media rushed to vilify Israel instead of Hamas. They chose to defend a terror organization rather than one of our oldest allies.

Think about that. The media is so anti-Trump that they've chosen a violent street gang AND A GLOBAL TERROR ORGANIZATION as their torch-bearing heroes. Come on, Democrats. Are you seriously baffled why the American people are turning their backs on you?

Still not enough evidence? Here's the New York Times just yesterday. Charles Blow wrote a piece called "A Blue Wave of Moral Restoration" where he tried to make the case that the president and Republicans were the enemy, but — fear not — Democrat morality was here to save the day.

Here are some of these cases Blow tries to make for why Trump is unfit to be President:

No person who treats women the way Trump does and brags on tape about sexually assaulting them should be president.

Ok, fine. You can make that argument if you want to, but why weren't you making this same argument for Bill Clinton? Never mind, I actually know the reason. Because you were too busy trying to bury the Juanita Broaddrick story.

Let's move on:

No person who has demonstrated himself to be a pathological liar should be president.

Do the words, “You can keep your doctor" mean anything to the New York Times or Charles Blow? I might have saved the best for last:

No person enveloped by a cloud of corruption should be president.

I can only think of three words for a response to this: Hillary Frigging Clinton.

Try displaying a little consistency.

If the media really wants Donald Trump gone and the Democrats to take over, they might want to try displaying a little consistency. But hey, maybe that's just too much to ask.

How about starting with not glorifying terrorist organizations and murderous street gangs. Could we at least begin there?

If not… good luck in the midterms.

In the weeks following President Trump's decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital, the mainstream media was quick to criticize the president's pro-Israel stance and make dire predictions of violent backlash in the Middle East. Fast forward to this week's opening of the US Embassy in Jerusalem and the simultaneous Palestinian “protests" in Gaza.

RELATED: Just another day in Iran: Parliment chants death to America after Trump pulls out of nuclear deal

Predictably, the mainstream media chastised Israel for what they called “state-sanctioned terrorism" when the IDF stepped in to protect their country from so-called peaceful Palestinian protesters. Hamas leaders later admitted that at least 50 of the 62 Palestinians killed in the clashes were Hamas terrorists.

“In our post-modern media age, there is no truth and nobody even seems to be looking for it …. This is shamefully clear in the media especially this week with their coverage of the conflict between the border of Israel and the Gaza strip," said Glenn on today's show. He added, “The main media narrative this week is about how the IDF is just killing innocent protesters, while Hamas officials have confirmed on TV that 50 of the 62 people killed were working for Hamas."

The mainstream media views the Palestinians as the oppressed people who just want to share the land and peacefully coexist with the people of Israel. “They can't seem to comprehend that in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, only one side is actively trying to destroy the other," surmised Glenn.

Watch the video above to hear Glenn debunk the “peaceful Palestinian protest" fallacy.