'ASIANS IN CAGES': A Seussified Progressive Tale

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Franklin Delano tugged at his hair

And tapped on the arms of his big metal chair

Then he said with a sigh, as he polished his glasses,

In a voice that was low, and as smooth as molasses,

"We must treat these Asians as separate classes

And put them where they can't be harming the masses

Can we put them high?

Can we put them low?

Oh where is the best place for them to all go?"

With a snap of his fingers both too soft and sluggish

(For his polio'd nerves were all wiggy and buggish)

But still had a ring that was brutal and thuggish

He smiled and said, "I've the perfect 'solution'!

A cultural cleansing from Asian pollution!

In this nebulous time full of fear and low wages,

And war with each other that rages and rages

And advice both from fools and from Democrat sages

Let's put all these terrible Asians in cages!"

---

"Oh my!" said Republicans hither and yon

"How that Franklin D. President does carry on!

But this lunatic plan, all at once or in stages

Is nincompoop nonsense, that flatly enrages

And fails to foresee how the public's will ages!

We will not, we must not throw Asians in cages!"

---

"Hear! Hear!" said those few who desired restitution

Of small government under the Constitution

"This Democrat dunce with his pen and his ink,

Will be all our undoing, we fear and we think!

There is nary a depth to which he will not sink!

We must not throw Asian folk into the Clink!"

---

"Yes, indeed," said the Pentagon's pencil-necked nerds

"We must stop these executive's damaging words

For he speaks and his words turn at once into turds

And his plan for the Asians is just for the birds!

This racist mistake, it's a crime for the ages,

We will not, we must not put Asians in cages!"

---

"And yet," said Progressives, who'd slithered right in,

"Would you rather we lose at this war and not win?

Would you like if, quite soon, we're all spending in Yen?

No, of course we must act, though the people may chafe

You strike iron while it's hot to keep everyone safe

We say 'Hail to the Chief', though your ire it enrages

Executive orders by hundreds of pages

Must pour from his hand, 'til our fear it assuages

We must now lock up all these Asians in cages!

---

And so it was done, to our shame and our guilt

And we damn near lost every good thing that we built

But from history we learn, and to history we go

For a crack at a future so bright it could glow

And no matter how Leftism strikes and engages

Us all in a battle of wits that enrages

We still have one thing we can say through the ages:

"It sure wasn't us who put Asians in cages."

This MUST be why Trump (allegedly) had NUCLEAR documents at Mar-a-Lago

Photo by (Left) Win McNamee/ (Right) Bettmann /Contributor/Getty Images

According to the Washington Post's "anonymous sources," the FBI was looking for documents related to nuclear weapons during its raid of Mar-a-Lago.

Who could have guessed what Donald Trump did with those documents (never mind that he allegedly had them for over a year before the FBI actually did anything)? And who knows why they were searching through Melania's drawers for such top-secret information? Also, isn't it interesting that even after both Attorney General Merrick Garland and Donald Trump asked for the search warrant to be unsealed, only this very unspecific and very damning bit of information was "leaked" to the Washington Post? And just a few months before the midterm elections?

Since the DOJ still hasn't told us much (what was leaked to the media), Glenn did his best to present a few "theories" of his own on "The Glenn Beck Program" Friday. Watch the video clip below to hear more from "The Glenn Beck Program." Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

New details emerge about Trump raid — and 'it doesn't look good for the FBI'

Photo by Eva Marie Uzcategui/Getty Images

New, alleged details about the raid of former President Donald Trump's home at Mar-a-Lago hint that it's "not looking good for the FBI," said BlazeTV host Glenn Beck on the radio program Thursday.

Trump has faced attacks from every direction, but despite all of it, he has "not been found guilty or had any kind of real, solid evidence against him," Glenn pointed out.

Glenn detailed a long list of investigations, accusations, and lawsuits against Trump, and the latest puzzling revelations about the FBI's raid of Mar-a-Lago, which only seem to raise even more questions. For example, did agents truly refuse to give Trump's lawyer a copy of the warrant upon arriving at the home? Because sources have alleged that his attorney was kept "10 feet away from the warrant" and was not allowed to actually read it. If that's true, then it was absolutely against the law.

Then there was the inordinate amount of time spent going through Melania Trump's closet. And did they have the proper authority to break into Trump's safe?

"That warrant had better damn well say that they can break into that safe because the law is, you can't go into somebody's house and ... just tear it all apart," Glenn said. "You have to have a pretty good idea of where things might be located, and you ask for permission for those areas. And you have to know exactly what you're looking for, and if it's in a safe, you need to specifically say, 'it's in a safe and we're having a safe cracker come in.' If they didn't say in the warrant that they could crack his safe, it's the fruit of the poisoned tree. By the way, there was nothing in the safe."

Glenn also explained that the FBI broke into a specific "safe room" that contained national archives, which Trump was allegedly told by investigators to keep in a locked room.

"[Trump] made a safe room, and put two locks on it, at their request. And that's what they broke into," Glenn said. "This doesn't look good for the FBI," he added.

Watch the video clip below to hear more from "The Glenn Beck Program." Can't watch? Download the podcast here.


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

There’s an economic axis of evil taking shape right now, and the people in charge of our government are too stupid to acknowledge and deal with what’s happening. The U.S. dollar and the entire financial system are at stake, and, as Glenn Beck reveals on "Glenn TV" Wednesday, our enemies’ PUBLISHED plans to take the entire thing down.

While all of this is happening, our own leaders are making everything worse. We’ve got Nancy Pelosi risking an international incident, accelerating China’s plans to collapse us. And when Biden SHOULD be focusing on the security of our country, he’s instead preoccupied with controlling the weather with his Inflation "Reduction" Act.

Glenn exposes the TRUE numbers on what that bill will do to your family’s budget. Add to that, they’re more than doubling the IRS to make sure you feel the pain. And if you think they won’t come for you, look at what they just did to the former president of the United States. The DOJ and FBI just went after the political opponent of their boss, Joe Biden.

This is what they are focused on, and the threat to the dollar — and the entire financial system — isn’t even on their radar. Pain is coming for us, and they don’t care one bit.

Watch the full episode below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Speaking before signing the “PACT Act of 2022” on Wednesday morning, President Joe Biden claimed that his wonderful economic plan "is working" and that somehow July’s annual inflation rate of 8.5% was actually “zero.”

“I just want to say a number: zero. Today we received news that our economy had 0% inflation in the month of July,” Biden said during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House.

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre dutifully echoed the president's not-at-all misleading claim:

The truth of the matter is that last month's inflation rate of 8.5% was a (small) step in the right direction, but only because it was lower than June's 41-year high of 9.1% — and the thing is, anyone who's graduated kindergarten knows it.

So, who do White House personnel think they're fooling? On the radio program Wednesday, Glenn Beck and producer Stu Burguiere broke down how the Biden administration came to this latest disingenuous conclusion about the economy, what the latest consumer price index actually shows, and why the inevitable Biden brag-fest will be unbearable.

Watch the video clip below. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.