Glenn just gave us all a lesson on how to deal with internet trolls with finesse, grace, and class.
Earlier this week, Glenn posted a video on Instagram of his daughter producing her first musical album, complete in a studio with a full orchestra. Most of the comments were encouraging, but in an age where once can hide behind digital screens, unseemly and derogatory comments are to be expected. One in particular caught Glenn's eye.
An Instagram user named Jessica commented: "It pays to have a parent who can publish her music. #privilaged #chosen lol. Not everyone is so lucky!" She went on to make other derogatory comments.
Social media gives people anonymity that often fuels hateful dialogue, and it can be tempting to return hate with hate. But instead, Glenn's direct response to Jessica shows how we can respond to those who accuse us with firmness and truth yet also with understanding and grace. Here is Glenn's letter to his internet troll:
Jessica,
I saw your page and it seems like you work out and are in great shape.
I have two daughters with epilepsy and one with CP who finds it difficult to keep their shape like you can. What a joy for you and indeed a privilege.
One of my daughters has difficulty even opening her hand, and could not lift weights nor work out as you do.
Now, I could talk with you about privilege and how you won in the gene lottery, but I WILL NOT as it is not my place to judge as I do not know the first thing about you. But, I will share also that I am blessed and privileged to witness and learn from both of my daughters who each live their life to their fullest and push past things I am not sure I could.
Chey even pushes herself to perform even though she has dyslexia as well which makes reading -- let alone memorizing lines very difficult.
They are both happy and we love them and are very proud of them. My eldest daughter with CP, holds a meaningful job and is privileged to live in such times where Uber makes her life so much easier.
I wish I could get to know you and the things that you may struggle with. When I get to know someone and ask about their lives, it always seems to amaze me how much we have in common.
I came from a hard working blue collar family, one that suffered from generations of abuse. I don’t know what it is like to grow up in a happy, non abusive, non alcoholic family. Maybe you do, or sadly, perhaps this is where our lives begin to show the same struggles.
In response to the years of damage inflicted on my family especially my sisters, I have worked hard my whole life to break that generational cycle.
It is evil and every man or woman that treats a child or spouse unrighteously will be held accountable. I know that doesn’t help those still suffering, but when abusers die, it is, somewhat, a privilege to know and believe in an Eternally Just God.
Because my father did try not to be his father, without realizing it, he became his mother, My paternal grandmother as he then married an abuser. He told me once that it was my responsibility to "not be like him," to learn a new way to live. I did, and I am happy to report that my children, wife and I are living what so many would call a privilege. A life without abuse.
It is indeed a privilege that not enough families share.
My father was poor when he died, and while we didn’t seem to know it at the time, he was poor his whole life. We didn’t notice, because we never focused on what we didn’t have or covet the life of others. Although, it was difficult to not want some of my friends parents to be my own.
When I left home, I helped for decades to support him and my step mother with whatever I could.
The only thing of value my father left to me, was an idea that IF I SET MY MIND TO IT, I could and SHOULD be a BETTER MAN than he was. Not richer or more successful but a better man.
Both of my parents and maternal grandparents also taught me from birth that it was a privilege to be born and live in America. That here, if you worked hard and for no reason many times other than luck, being at the right place at the right time, you can succeed in however you define that. You may not build an empire like Vanderbilt did, but just because you are poor, disadvantaged or even someone born with CP, you didn’t have to define yourself as such. You could define your own life. That the secret was not in the success, it was in the "pursuit of your happiness."
You may find this "happiness" as you pursue your body building. I would not, but maybe you do. Because you chose to focus on that, you are successful -- and YOU DID THAT (well PERHAPS with a little bit of luck with the gene pool).
I am sure you work hard for a living as well. Perhaps this is another place we can find commonality. I have worked for a paycheck since I was 8. My father paid me about 75 cents per hour to sweep and scrape the floors and wash the pots and pans at the bakery. (It was expected of all of us in the family to help and work). Not in an abusive way, rather as a family. Even as screwed up as we were. We did find moments, while working, where we could laugh and act like a normal family.
At thirteen, just before my mother’s suicide, (I hope we do not connect here -- I have now experienced three suicides in my family, and in my 20s a friend saved me from repeating my mother's last and biggest mistake), but again, at 13, I began to work in my now full-time profession.
There was no one more surprised than I when 4 years ago I was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. We joke about it on-air all the time as frankly, I am surprised at times that people actually listen to my show. While I had earned that award, I guess, there were many more broadcasters that were, in my opinion, more deserving (H/T to John and Ken). It indeed was my privilege to accept that award the year of covid. I was bummed that in 2020 there was no grand induction dinner with those in my profession that so many others for many decades had the privilege to enjoy. But, the honor of being voted in by my peers was more of a privilege than anything else.
As it comes to the time I'm spending with my daughter working on her album....
YOU ARE RIGHT!
I am so glad that you took the time to remind her that she indeed is privileged to do things that not many have done, and to do it with a father that doesn’t abuse, her, instead loves her and as we spoke of just last night, we like each other a lot.
As she is now 18, I have given her this opportunity to select her own music, work with some of the people I have had the privilege to be around and learn from my whole life, to help her record and produce her own album.
Yes, “what a privilege.” And don’t think I haven’t thought about that almost every day of my children’s lives.
In today’s world, let alone America, to have a job -- especially one you enjoy and don’t have to have several others just to able to afford the basics -- is a real blessing and, as you would say, “a privilege.” Due to reckless policies, frankly from both sides of the political spectrum, inflation is getting worse and worse. Do the "privileged" experts that run things like the FED understand how darn near impossible it is for the average family to even afford food?
It is why my wife and I have started and fund many charities, most years we tithe/and give at or above 20% of what I earn to those who need a helping hand. What a joy and privilege. I don’t know, nor care about the motives of others, but we do it, because we remember how hard it was for our parents .
It is funny how "privilege" works. Those who receive some of the blessings that Tania and I as well as thousands of others like you freely give, may feel privileged over those who did not receive, while we feel privileged to help them.
The truth is that actually we are ALL simply blessed to live at this time, with the families and circumstances we are born with. And when we realize how much we each have, not comparing with others, we find ourselves so much happier. I know, as I lost my "fame" and fortune once already due to my alcoholism. I feel privileged just to able to help one another in what ever form that may take. Perhaps someone is reading our conversation and finding benefits in doing so.
Finally, about my daughter's album, one of the goals of this (ad)venture, is to help her learn how to start a business, be responsible with the privilege of earning money, therefore she will take every dollar that it earns to first pay all of the bills from making this album and give the next 10% to those who are truly underprivileged.
Tania and I feel that is an important part of life: Give to others first. And RECOGNIZE that no one gets a free ride, (yes, even my privileged children) but, some do ride with a softer suspension and she indeed is one of those.
Thank you so much again for your reminder, even though she has heard that from me and her mom her whole life, it helps to hear it from another source.
I am so glad you wrote as I just don't think it is a coincidence that just yesterday before we posted those videos, I sat quietly in the recording studio thinking, “how fortunate I am to be to born to parents that weren’t privileged to something like this for me, and here I am in a recording studio, in Prague nonetheless, with my daughter. What a blessing for us both.”
But, in both good and very bad ways, my parents gave me perhaps a greater gift: to break the cycle of abuse and poverty AND build in me the desire to be a better man and father.
I wish you the best on your ventures and all the exciting privileges that you will find around every corner.
We indeed are ALL blessed to make our own choices.
Wow, think of how many billions in countries like China don’t have OUR privilege. Perhaps we should pay more attention to that!!!! Your comment has just been such a blessing.
Glenn
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