Unelectable Blog

Is the Glenn Beck Summer Tour coming to a city near you?

Quick Links: June 14 | June 13 | June 12 | Unelectable Blog - June 6-11

Video Blog... June 14



 Beck Babes

Photo Blog... June 14

Glenn and Chris from Graeter's Ice Cream. Glenn, can't you just wait until the Insider Convention is over before you start to eat the ice cream?

Glenn and Rich doing a walk through in Akron

Okay, okay, one exception to the "no posed photo" rule. Glenn and I in Akron.

Thank you to Angie's List and our Golden Circle Members!!!

Glenn and his Graeter's ice cream. He's actually turned a pint of ice cream into a giant ice cream cone by squeezing the bottom, forcing the ice cream to the top and just chomping away at it--I'd rather watch Bobey drinking.

Bobey can't hold his liquor...Beck can't hold his ice cream...

The world's most expensive umbrella. Glenn seeking shelter from the rain under someone's private airplane.

Photo Blog... June 13

The new book Glenn is reading. Stop reading, get some sleep!

John Bobey, Rich and Adam waiting for Glenn

Glenn putting pen to paper

Glenn preparing before the show, alone with just peace and quiet to keep him company

Celtics? Wow, did Glenn jump on that bandwagon pretty quickly or what????

Backstage snacks...they just look so good.....

Video Blog... June 13



 Four Students and Why They're Glenn Beck Fans

Video Blog... June 12



 Airplane Food & Plastic Knives



Glenn Beck's Carbon Footprint



Live from Syracuse!!! Why's it So Dark in Here?



Fan Feedback on the Syracuse Show

Photo Blog... June 12


Glenn & Adam walking across the bridge into the WSYR studios for the radio show

Glenn, Coke Zero and morning story review

Glenn & Adam getting ready for the radio show from studios of WSYR



Don't Ask, Don't Tell...Because What Happens on Tour Stays on Tour (John Bobey's door)

Glenn with John Carney and John Bobey doing a pre-show theater walk trough

Glenn and Rich preparing for the sound and prop check

Glenn, Rich and John Bobey during the walk through

Forget the Red Bull...it's Thursday so break out the "No Fear" and "AMP" Energy Drinks...

Still no Peach Fresca, I've stopped requesting it--apparently not a popular drink on tour

This picture really doesn't capture the beauty of the Landmark in Syracuse...what a beautiful theater!!!

Adam & Rich checking emails, and phone messages

John Carney, working the PHONE...

Glenn's 570 WSYR interview...

Before the Tour I thought only Chinese Food came in a box (that and pizza)



Glenn leaves a stool sample...

Insider Convention, Beck Babes & Akron - Going Home


Blogging by Joe Kerry

June 14, 2008 (Saturday)

My first Insider’s Convention, Glenn has been talking about this since morning breakfast. Listeners have flown in from Hawaii, driven up from Dallas, Oklahoma City, and California. These are the individuals who make a difference. The insiders are going to be real surprised as Tania is attending the convention too—it’s the perfect meeting—Tania and passionate listeners.


 


 We spend the morning re-reading the responses from the insiders to a survey Carolyn sent out asking what they wanted to see and experience at the convention. Glenn let’s us all know that his goal is to make sure that each insider leaves with a perfect experience. Glenn decides to answer questions, take photos and read snippets from his yet-to-be published book, “The Christmas Sweater”.


 


 Veterans of insider conventions tell me to be prepared for the energy and passion. The ‘Johns’ tell me I’ve never seen anything like it—and they’re 100% right. During the question and answer session I am struck at the range and depth of topics discussed. I thought this was going to be, “Hey, Glenn—what’s your favorite fish color?” But it’s nothing like that. The questions hit on the Second Amendment, the economy, the mortgage crisis, his relationship with CNN, the death of Tim Russert and where does he get all his energy from—and lots more. Glenn doesn’t pull any punches with any of his responses.


 


 The next three hours are spent taking pictures. Glenn told us before we arrived that he didn’t want to leave the convention until every insider who wanted a picture or autograph. It’s great to see Glenn and the insiders taking pictures together and signing books. It’s like a group of really good friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time getting together and just doing nothing but catching-up on what’s been happening in their lives since the last time they got together.


 


 One thing to mention before I move on. Chris, a store manager from Graeter’s Ice Cream was serving ice cream to all the insiders, compliments of Glenn. I’ve got to say it was some of the best ice cream I have ever had.


 


 I also want to say ‘thank you’ to everyone, but especially the insiders who came up and told me what they liked about the blog and how they read it everyday and looked at the pictures and watched the posted videos. Thanks!


 


 Around 3:30 we went over to the theater in Akron. It was the first theater on tour that didn’t have aisles. You entered from either side and made your way to your seat. I think Glenn referred to this as continental type seating. It allows more seats because you don’t have to set any aside for aisles.


 


 Even though Glenn has now performed the show in several cities, he isn’t casual about his preparation time. He still reviews the script and incorporates several local stories into it that he’s come across in reading the local newspapers and stories online. He’s especially cognizant of how tough things are economically in the Akron area. He reads how the township has passed a ‘must mow’ law and how local officials want people to ‘adopt’ homes which have been foreclosed on. He can’t believe how a local power company wants to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on zoo lights when people are so hard hit financially—he works all of these stories into the script while he prepares.


 


 He tells the team how Akron, Ohio helped save his life. How Akron is the birthplace of Alcoholic Anonymous and how that organization was instrumental in saving his life. He tells us he wants the audience tonight to know that—to know how close he feels to this community. It’s amazing that with only a handful of hours before the curtain goes up he is comfortable making these changes.


 


 With about an hour before the show begins I catch Glenn onstage doing a voice check and going through a solo rehearsal. I walk out onstage and notice that he’s got a copy of Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” book on the stand (see photo)—I’m convinced it’s his A.D.D. He probably goes rehearses a few pages and then reads a few pages from “Twilight” and then rehearses a few pages and then back to “Twilight.” I see a dog-eared page and this tells me he’s had another night of late night reading.


 


 It reminds me of a picture I took earlier in the tour (see photo). Glenn’s sitting alone in the theater with my laptop computer balanced open-faced on his head. I snap a photo before I walk up to him. As I approach I can hear that he’s listening to music. I ask him what he’s listening to—he tells me that he’s reviewing music for his Christmas 2008 tour.


 


 When asked, I tell people that one of the important things I’ve learned on my first tour is that Glenn reviews all the details of every project. He is involved in all the projects. The Christmas 2008 tour for instance: here he is 6 months from Christmas and he’s reviewing some proposed music from the script!!! That’s why his radio, tv, magazine, newsletter and tours—they’re not things that he just does—they are part of him—each of these is Glenn because he’s generating it all—that’s what makes it all enjoyable to his audience—but it’s also what makes it so demanding on him personally.


 


 The first-half of the show is slightly off. I watch each performance form the audience seats and I’m keenly aware that he’s deviated from the script in several places and has flipped changed the order of some of the stories. There’s no way the audience can tell—it’s funny and it’s still all coming from the heart—but having watched the show for the past week, I can tell. Backstage John Bobey and Glenn are discussing this—maybe he’s tired? Maybe he’s trying to change the pace? But Glenn senses it as well. I do a bunch of audience interviews and they love it.


 


 Since the first half was slightly off I was expecting something similar for the second half. But that didn’t happen. Glenn was amazing in the second half of the show—it was the best performance to date for the second half. As I listened to the second half, it was the first time that I watched Glenn and thought, “this guy really could run for office”. There are several script deviations—but each one was powerful. There were at least three times when a crowd of about 3000 people was TOTALLY silent—it was amazing—no sound—no talking, no coughing, no movement. Remember the saying that “the pen is mightier than the sword”—I saw that here in Akron—that power of the spoken word.


 


 Glenn talked about Alcoholics Anonymous—about it saving his life—about this community, its heritage—its promise. I wish I could have heard it but I needed to be backstage before it was said, but I later learned that it was one part of the show which really moved the audience.


 


 Afterwards we board the airplane for the flight home. Instead of uncorking bottles of booze (much to John Bobey’s surprise) Glenn breaks out a container of Graeter’s Ice Cream—we all talk about the tour for about 10 minutes—then slowly and subconsciously the talk turns to the Christmas Tour 2008. Glenn’s not participating in that conversation—he’s talking to Tania eating his ice cream. The team is talking about the upcoming Christmas Tour. They’re talking about how it’s going to be much more involved and they’re already jockeying to see how they can get Glenn onto the scheduled to do this, that or something else.


 


 Glenn’s finished making a mess with his cream (see photos) and for the first time, I see him close his eyes on the plane. Wow, he’s going to finally get some sleep—less than a minute later, his eyes are open, he leans forward and says, “let’s make sure we talk about drilling for oil on the outer continental shelf on Monday’s show.” He truly is a sick twisted freak.


 


 (I hope that the blog has brought you closer to Glenn and the tour team. There are only two blog rules: (1) I’m solely responsible for the stories and commentary because it’s not reviewed before posting and (2) I really try to avoid taking posed photos—I try to capture everyone at being themselves.


 


 There’s a lot of pictures and video footage that I haven’t posted. Primarily because when I prepare the blog it’s usually around 1am. I’ll go through it once I’m back in New York and see if we can post a post-tour series of video and photos.


 


 I know the tour isn’t officially over. We are going to Dallas July 17, Houston July 18 and Columbia South Carolina July 19th—but it’s nice to be going home.


 


 And thank you again for all the email. I really do try to incorporate your suggestions and answer your questions. As Glenn reminds us, “you are the show”, thanks for letting me be part of bringing a behind the scenes look to you)!


 


 Joe Kerry


 joe@glennbeck.com


The Final Stretch, Tania joins the Fun and New Video Discussed


Blogging by Joe Kerry

June 13, 2008 (Firday)

7am Met up with Glenn and Adam for our trip over to WHYN 560 here in Springfield. We were met by Danielle from the station who has been running on about 1 hour a day for the past several days helping promote the station’s fund-raiser while helping out with Glenn’s tour preparations. She seems to draw on some unlimited pool of energy.


 


 9am The morning started with a monologue Glenn prepared for his father. He listened to every word and was emotional while it played. Even though he was talking to a national audience in a way I think he was speaking directly to his father. Glenn doesn’t read from a script during these monologues. It comes from his heart and mind. It’s like he sits there and thinks about the events he is talking about—and actually sees them in his mind which brings the emotion for his heart.


 


 After the monologue Glenn asks if people can relate to what he just said about his father and at times the need to reconnect. That they had to agree to give their relationship time and trust and how it was so worth it. Adam says that he can relate.


 


 11am I should have known this was going to happen. The ‘game plan’ for today’s show was scrambled when Glenn impulsively went with his feelings and heart and started talking about Father’s Day and fathers. Our light-hearted planned Friday morphed into a tribute to dads. Two calls come in from men who tell Glenn ‘thanks’ and that they’re re-focusing on being better dads. It’s been a really good morning.


 


 Noon Questions and Answers from Blog Readers


 


 Q: (This question is really a generic question from so many readers that I decided to respond to all of them here). When is Glenn going to come to (Alaska, Michigan, Seattle, Tampa, Ontario-yes the one in Canada, Hawaii, or Alabama, etc) on this tour?


 


 A: Great news. On today’s radio show Glenn announced that on July 17th the Dallas Unelectable Show will be telecast LIVE to over 350 theaters across the country. Click here for details and locations...


 


 Q: For some inexplicable reason, I find it especially humorous when you all lampoon and ridicule John Bobey. I have nothing against the guy and know almost nothing about him. I just get the sense that in some cosmic way he has some Karma coming back to him. - Robert


 


 A: I don’t look at it as ridicule or lampoon, just a recitation of the facts as I see them. John’s a great guy and I really can’t explain it very well, but he’s got a darker side, much like Glenn—not in an evil or mean way—just lots of protective layers.


 


 Q: We missed our child birth class to come see Glenn’s show, what do you think we missed? - Jeffrey & Maria, Syracuse


 


 A: That’s not really the right question—the question should be, was it worth it? Having attended childbirth classes let me assure you that you didn’t miss anything. Just look up ‘childbirth’ on the internet. You can believe everything you read there.


 


 2pm Glenn hasn’t done a show in Springfield, MA before. It’s an interesting demographic political mix separated by what a local resident described as a ‘tofu curtain.’ Since each audience is different and reacts differently I’m waiting to see if this audience thinks the show is off the charts like the other crowds.


 


 4pm Glenn learned that Tim Russert died of an apparent heart attack. I think for Glenn he’ll always remember where he was when he first heard this story. It’s father’s day and in many ways Tim Russert was one of the father’s of modern television. Glenn’s always said on and off the air that Tim Russert was fair and he beat up on both sides, regardless of political orientation.


 


 I also think that another reason Russert’s death struck Glenn so strongly was that Russert was a relatively young, not in excellent but good health combined with a job that placed enormous stress on him physically, mentally and emotionally.


 


 5pm Glenn’s in a really upbeat mood. Tania’s coming in for tonight’s show and we’re going to pick her up right now. I never thought about it but I guess I assumed that family life was different.


 


 9:30pm The radio station and our local affiliate WHYN 560 has been raising funds for St. Jude. Glenn’s asked his general manager, Chris, if he can donate the profits from the show to the radio-thon. He’s given permission for a $5,000 donation but Glenn can’t stop himself and announces he’s donating one-half of the profits from the show to St. Jude. Chris is not going to be happy. Glenn says it won’t be a problem because he’s sure that there will be a number 5 in the amount that’s eventually donated.


 


 11:06pm Glenn throws a curveball. He’s been talking about fathers all day today and it’s on his mind. So he asks me about my own dad and my relationship with my father. He remarks that we’ve been friends for about 5 years and he really hasn’t heard me talk about my dad. I’ve got to give Glenn credit—he’s pretty perceptive, but sometimes his frankness can make people wince.


 


 11:30pm There’s a group discussion on whether video I took yesterday should have been posted on the internet, I opted against it. I thought it was too dark. Glenn really wants it posted, he thinks it’s funny. And there is humor in a macabre way. It’s a video I took in the plane where Glenn and John Bobey have a discussion about suicide. Glenn’s family has a history of suicide. I’ve heard him talk about it and he’s told me that he either looks at that familial past and get depressed or look at it and try to laugh—he and John Bobey went for laughs. You might be thinking—Joe works for Glenn so why isn’t the video on the blog if Glenn wanted it that way. Well, the blog has two rules—one, it’s your blog through my eyes, so there won’t be any editing of content—that way you get it as I see and experience it; two, no posed photos.


 


 Midnight We discuss the National Insider Convention. Glenn wants to make it special. John Carney, Rich and John Bobey all agree to head over early to help Carolyn out with registration and set-up. I’m excited, it’s my first Insider Convention and I’ve heard lots of great things.


Glenn’s Excitement, Bobey’s Comedy Darkside, Airplane food video and Your Comments


Blogging by Joe Kerry

June 12, 2008 (Thursday)

6am How can it be 6am so early? It feels like I just went to bed a few hours ago, when I realize that I actually did go to bed just a few hours ago. Funny though, my dreams seem to have more color and more vivid. Go figure.

I meet Glenn and Adam downstairs and head out to the radio station. Everyone has that nasally tired voice. I can’t really described it well, but those of you have been tired for a few days and not able to get the sleep you need know what I’m talking about, right?

Syracuse has great weather. It’s perfect. Everyone at the radio station give us the royal treatment. They are so kind and considerate. Glenn’s on a tear preparing for the radio show. I have a portable printer and actually burn through an entire black ink cartridge printing out all the material Glenn wants to review before the show begins.

9am I watch Adam set-up the radio equipment for a remote broadcast and realize that he’s a pretty serious individual—not a lot of laughs or gratuitous conversation. He has a knack for taking the complex and reducing it to the plain and simple. He’s a good balance for Glenn who needs someone to reign him in, settle him down—and on occasion just reinforce the reality of limited time on a very tight schedule.

10:30a Glenn and Tania talk on the phone. It’s almost funny watching how excited, almost giddy Glenn gets when he talks to Tania and the children. I think going on tour would be a perfect experience for Glenn if his entire family could come with him.

11:30a Glenn asks John Bobey to buy him a “book or two” from the local bookstore. Glenn says he needs the books to help him sleep.

Noon. Review some emails received from the blog. Here are a few of the emails received and responses:

Q: You're doing a great job with the blog and the videos. I love food stories. How Glenn can eat what he does and drink Coke Zero like he does and still deliver the fantastic work that he does is mind-boggling. Your sleep deprivation is worth the infotainment you are providing. Thanks. - Carol, San Antonio, Texas

A: Naturally, I have to include any email which pays such high compliments to the blogger. But I want to assure Carol that it’s not just the Coke Zero, but the butter dipped French fries, whipped cream and chocolate bar chasers he regularly consumes which give him all the power he needs

Q: Hey Glenn, I was at the show in Harrisburg last night. My wife bought tickets for us for my birthday. It was the best birthday gift I have ever received!!!! I laughed my A** off for two straight hours and then laughed continuously while we ate afterwards. I am 25 and just really started listening to Conservative talk radio about a year ago. You guys have it down pat, everything you talk about it so right on it is unbelievable.

A: The whole laughing you’re a** off doesn’t seem to be working for Glenn. I actually think it works in reverse for him. Maybe if he goes a few days without laughing we’ll see change?

Q: My reason for writing today was to ask you if the picture of Adam and John Bobey actually shows Adam holding a rifle? If I were John, I'd be very nervous! - Paul, Harrisburg, PA

A: It does indeed. But it’s not real—at least that’s what we thought at the time. If I’m John Bobey I’d be nervous each time Adam entered the room. Talk about two different types of people!

2pm Sometimes when people have a bit of success they forget how to be nice. To be kind. What they were once grateful for they now take for granted. Glenn’s told us that if we see him moving in that direction to just ‘hit’ him. I’ve known him for several years—long before television, the magazine, and tours. He always treated people with kindness and I see that same kindness today. I want to know where that ‘grounding’ comes from. Is it Tania? His family? His church? A combination?

5pm Dinner. We have dinner from a box and it’s tremendously good. Everyone’s enjoying dinner until a piece of thoroughly chewed chicken mysteriously appears at the center of our makeshift dinner table. Since there are no small children in the room it’s clear that someone on the team placed it there but no one comes forward. John Carney finally picks it up in a napkin and disposes of it. But the damage is done—with each bite of dinner I see that nasty looking piece of chicken in my head—so dinner is over as quickly as it began.

8:30pm Okay, Joe just stepped away from his computer so this seems like a perfect opportunity to take this blog in…another direction. I started the day by meeting my mom for breakfast—had some blueberry pancakes at The Market Diner—they were exceptionally good. Just think—while Glenn was plowing through all that “end of the world, gas is expensive, blah blah blah,” I was eating a giant stack of buttery goodness! After that me and Ma went to see my Uncle Bob and Aunt Karen…and I had a beer—GB was prattling on about heaven only knows what, and I was getting my pre-lunch drunk on! Who’s got the better job now?

Then it was back to the hotel to steal some towels…I mean, check out. I grabbed an ice coffee with tour pal John Carney at Federal Espresso and sat in the lunchtime sun…while on a neighboring bench a fat guy covered in a thick blanket of body hair rubbed his belly like a genie’s lamp. It was not appealing, but I guess you take the good with the bad.

I’m backstage now during the second half and packing up for the trip to Springfield, Mass. We’ll be eating roast beef sandwiches from Clark’s Ale House on the ride—say what you will about the trials of life on the road, but the eatin’s good.

This is not the funniest thing I’ve ever written…(John’s wrong—judging by his prior work--this is probably the funniest thing he’s ever written).

9:30p I see John Bobey has taken the liberty of writing in the blog. John Bobey reminds me of Shrek. No, not physically—because Bobey’s not that strong—but with the whole ‘onion/layer’ comparison. John is a nice guy. He’d help anyone out and literally do anything for someone in need. But he’s got a dark edge to him. When we talk about this he tells me that “all comedy is based in pain”. I’ll have to think about that.

10p During the break Glenn wants to know what the proposed 2008 Christmas Tour cities are, even though the list isn’t finalized. Does this guy ever stop thinking about the future?

10:30p We had a great dinner on the plane. You can tell that the tour is more than halfway over as there’s increased levity in the travel now—or maybe it was the beer that was brought onboard? John Bobey says it all helps to keep the voices in his head ‘happy and quiet.’

11:00p Interesting discussion on the plane between the team. John Bobey is asked whether he believes he’s a good person who’ll qualify for heaven or end up in hell. I like John’s answer, something along the lines of “I’m a good person who has done some bad things.” I think most of us fall into that category but wouldn’t admit it as candidly as John just did. He’s got a certain dark humor. The conversation ends with a comparison made by Glenn about how John Bobey is very similar to Dr. House (of television fame).

11:50p I learn that John purchased ‘Twilight’ by Stephanie Meyer for Glenn to read and he’s already 30 pages into it.

I’ve worked on several political campaigns—trying to help individuals get elected to office, both at a state and national level—and this tour experience has been so different. In many ways it’s the same: (1) you’ve got to get a group of people from city to city and (2) deliver a message while (3) reaching out to the public who attend. But that’s really where the similarities end. In politics there is so much formality, and repetition. Spontaneity was considered a negative thing. The cities were different but the speech and everything else was always the same.

I contrast that to Glenn and his team that prize spontaneity. When something pops up the first thought isn’t “how did we handle this in the past” it’s approached with a “how can we use this to make the show better” attitude. There is no blame game, there is no “this is my responsibility, that is yours”; it is a team approach. It’s like working on a rapid response team.

Midnight Arrive at the hotel and start to upload videos for the blog. Funny, I didn’t think it would matter, but I’m more excited about loading the blogs for tomorrow seeing all the positive feedback that came in today about yesterday’s videos. I ask why that matters to me—it’ll give me something to think about as I load these up.

(If you’ve seen the show let us know what you thought! joe@glennbeck.com)

Quick Links: Unelectable Blog - June 6-11




Joe Kerry

Joe Kerry Blog: On Tour with Glenn Beck

Have you ever wondered what it must be like to travel on tour with Glenn? Or want to peak behind the curtain to see what happens offstage? Have you ever asked yourself if ‘on-air’ Glenn Beck is the same person when he’s ‘off-air’? I hope to answer these and other questions this week while I’m on tour with Glenn and his team.

I’m a recent addition to Glenn’s crew and it might sound backwards, but I knew Glenn even before I was a fan of the show. Long time fans will remember Glenn calling my cell phone and pulling me out of the courtroom with some pressing legal question which ranged from whether he would be able to sue candy cigarette makers to what the legal definition of ‘entrapment’ was. After four years of unscheduled and impromptu phone calls, Glenn was able to convince his general manager, Chris Balfe, to hire me fulltime.

Now, I see firsthand how Glenn and his team produce his radio, television, tour, magazine, newsletter, and books. With everything he does it always seemed like Glenn was given 37 hours a day while the rest of us lived on a 24 hour clock. How does he do it all?

I hope with this blog I’ll be able to provide some good behind the scene photos and insights to answer these questions—and questions that you may have. I think I have one of the best seats in the house. I’m in the plane as he travels from city to city, I’m backstage as he prepares and am in creative meetings with him and his team—so I hope this blog acts as a type of backstage pass into the tour, his team and Glenn.

(So you made it to the end. If there’s something you’d like to see discussed or have a question about the show let me know: joe@glennbeck.com).

It's time for our April 29, 2019 edition of our Candidate Power Rankings. We get to add two new candidates, write about a bunch of people that have little to no chance of winning, and thank the heavens we are one day closer to the end of all of this.

In case you're new here, read our explainer about how all of this works:

The 2020 Democratic primary power rankings are an attempt to make sense out of the chaos of the largest field of candidates in global history.

Each candidate gets a unique score in at least thirty categories, measuring data like polling, prediction markets, fundraising, fundamentals, media coverage, and more. The result is a candidate score between 0-100. These numbers will change from week to week as the race changes.

The power rankings are less a prediction on who will win the nomination, and more a snapshot of the state of the race at any given time. However, early on, the model gives more weight to fundamentals and potentials, and later will begin to prioritize polling and realities on the ground.

These power rankings include only announced candidates. So, when you say "WAIT!! WHERE'S XXXXX????" Read the earlier sentence again.

If you're like me, when you read power rankings about sports, you've already skipped ahead to the list. So, here we go.

See previous editions here.

20. Wayne Messam: 13.4 (Last week: 18th / 13.4)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

A former staffer of Wayne Messam is accusing his wife of hoarding the campaign's money.

First, how does this guy have "former" staffers? He's been running for approximately twelve minutes.

Second, he finished dead last in the field in fundraising with $44,000 for the quarter. Perhaps hoarding whatever money the campaign has is not the worst idea.

His best shot at the nomination continues to be something out of the series "Designated Survivor."

Other headlines:

19. Marianne Williamson: 17.1 (Last week: 17th / 17.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Marianne Williamson would like you to pay for the sins of someone else's great, great, great grandparents. Lucky you!

Williamson is on the reparations train like most of the field, trying to separate herself from the pack by sheer monetary force.

How much of your cash does she want to spend? "Anything less than $100 billion is an insult." This is what I told the guy who showed up to buy my 1989 Ford Tempo. It didn't work then either.

Other headlines:

18. John Delaney: 19.7 (Last week: 15th / 20.3)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Good news: John Delaney brought in $12.1 million in the first quarter, enough for fifth in the entire Democratic field!

Bad news: 97% of the money came from his own bank account.

Other headlines:

17. Eric Swalwell: 20.2 (Last week: 16th / 20.2)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

The Eric Swalwell formula:

  • Identify news cycle
  • Identify typical left-wing reaction
  • Add steroids

Democrats said there was obstruction in the Mueller report. Swalwell said there “certainly" was collusion.

Democrats said surveillance of the Trump campaign was no big deal. Swalwell said there was no need to apologize even if it was.

Democrats said William Barr mishandled the release of the Mueller report. Swalwell said he must resign.

Democrats say they want gun restrictions. Swalwell wants them all melted down and the liquid metal to be poured on the heads of NRA members. (Probably.)

16. Seth Moulton: 20.6 (NEW)

Who is Seth Moulton?

No, I'm asking.

Moulton falls into the category of congressman looking to raise his profile and make his future fundraising easier— not someone who is actually competing for the presidency.

He tried to block Nancy Pelosi as speaker, so whatever help he could get from the establishment is as dry as Pelosi's eyes when the Botox holds them open for too long.

Moulton is a veteran, and his military service alone is enough to tell you that he's done more with his life than I'll ever do with mine. But it's hard to see the road to the White House for a complete unknown in a large field of knowns.

Don't take my word for it, instead read this depressing story that he's actually telling people on purpose:

"I said, you know, part of my job is take tough questions," Moulton told the gathered business and political leaders. "You can ask even really difficult questions. And there was still silence. And then finally, someone in the way back of the room raised her hand, and she said, 'Who are you?' "

Yeah. Who are you?

15. Tim Ryan: 21.6 (Last week: 14th / 20.7)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

When you're talking to less than sixteen people in Iowa one week after your launch, you don't have too much to be excited about.

Ryan did get an interview on CNN, where he also talked to less than sixteen people.

He discussed his passion for the Dave Matthews Band, solidifying a key constituency in the year 1995.

Other headlines:

14. Tulsi Gabbard: 25.2 (Last week: 14th / 25.9)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Tulsi Gabbard torched Kamala Harris in fundraising!!!!! (Among Indian-American donors.)

No word on who won the coveted handi-capable gender-neutral sodium-sensitive sub-demographic.

She received a mostly false rating for her attack on the Trump administration regarding its new policy on pork inspections, a topic not exactly leading the news cycle. Being from Hawaii, the state which leads the nation in Spam consumption, she was probably surprised when this didn't go mega viral.

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13. Andrew Yang: 27.2 (Last week: 12th / 27.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Yang has a few go-to lines when he's on the campaign trail, such as: "The opposite of Donald Trump is an Asian man who likes math." Another is apparently the Jeb-esque "Chant my name! Chant my name!"

Yang continues to be one of the more interesting candidates in this race, essentially running a remix of the "One Tough Nerd" formula that worked for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder.

I highly recommend listening to his interview with Ben Shapiro, where Yang earns respect as the only Democratic presidential candidate in modern history to actually show up to a challenging and in-depth interview with a knowledgeable conservative.

But hidden in the Shapiro interview is the nasty little secret of the Yang campaign. His policy prescriptions, while still very liberal, come off as far too sane for him to compete in this Stalin look-alike contest.

Other headlines:

12. Jay Inslee: 30.4 (Last week: 11th / 30.4)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

If you read the Inslee candidate profile, I said he was running a one-issue climate campaign. This week, he called for a climate change-only debate, and blamed Donald Trump for flooding in Iowa.

He also may sign the nation's first "human composting" legalization bill. He can start by composting his presidential campaign.

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11. John Hickenlooper: 32.2 (Last week: 10th / 32.0)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

John Hickenlooper was sick of being asked if he would put a woman on the ticket, in the 0.032% chance he actually won the nomination.

So he wondered why the female candidates weren't being asked if they would name a male VP if they won?

Seems like a logical question, but only someone who is high on tailpipe fumes would think it was okay to ask in a Democratic primary. Hickenlooper would be better served by just transitioning to a female and demanding other candidates are asked why they don't have a transgendered VP.

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10. Julian Castro: 35.7 (Last week: 9th / 36.2)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Lowering expectations is a useful strategy when your wife asks you to put together an Ikea end table, or when you've successfully convinced Charlize Theron to come home with you. But is it a successful campaign strategy?

Julian Castro is about to find out. He thinks the fact that everyone thinks he's crashing and burning on the campaign trail so far is an "advantage." Perhaps he can take the rest of the field by surprise on Super Tuesday when they finally realize he's actually running.

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9. Kirsten Gillibrand: 38.1 (Last week: 8th / 37.8)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Gillibrand wants you to know that the reason her campaign has been such a miserable failure so far, is because she called for a certain senator to step down. The problem might also be that another certain senator isn't a good presidential candidate.

She also spent the week arm wrestling, and dancing at a gay bar called Blazing Saddle. In this time of division, one thing we can all agree on: Blazing Saddle is a really solid name for a gay bar.

Other headlines:

8. Amy Klobuchar: 45.1 (Last week: 7th / 45.5)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Klobuchar is attempting a run in the moderate wing of the Democratic primary, which would be a better idea if such a wing existed.

She hasn't committed to impeaching Donald Trump and has actually voted to confirm over half of his judicial nominees. My guess is this will not be ignored by her primary opponents.

She also wants to resolve an ongoing TPS issue, which I assume means going by Peter Gibbons' desk every morning and making sure he got the memo about the new cover sheets.

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7. Elizabeth Warren: 45.3 (Last week: 6th / 46.0)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Elizabeth Warren is bad at everything she does while she's campaigning. I don't really even watch Game of Thrones, and the idea that Warren would write a story about how the show proves we need more powerful women makes me cringe.

Of course, more powerful people of all the 39,343 genders are welcome, but it's such a transparent attempt at jumping on the back of a pop-culture event to pander to female voters, it's sickening.

We can only hope that when she's watching Game of Thrones, she's gonna grab her a beer.

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6. Cory Booker: 54.9 (Last week: 5th / 55.5)

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Booker is tied with Kamala Harris for the most missed Senate votes of the campaign so far. He gets criticized for this, but I think he should miss even more votes.

Booker is also pushing a national day off on Election Day—because the approximately six months of early voting allowed in every state just isn't enough.

Of course, making it easier to vote doesn't mean people are going to vote for Booker. So he's throwing trillions of dollars in bribes (my word, not his) to seal the deal.

Bookermania is in full effect, with 40 whole people showing up to his appearance in Nevada. Local press noted that the people were of "varying ages," an important distinction to most other crowds, which are entirely comprised of people with the same birthday.

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5. Robert Francis O’Rourke: 60.2 (Last week: 4th /62.6)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

Kirsten Gillibrand gave less than 2% of her income to charity. The good news is that she gave about seven times as much as Beto O'Rourke. Robert Francis, or Bob Frank, also happens to be one of the wealthiest candidates in the race. His late seventies father-in-law has been estimated to be worth as much as $20 billion, though the number is more likely to be a paltry $500 million.

He's made millions from a family company investing in fossil fuels and pharmaceutical stocks, underpaid his taxes for multiple years, and is suing the government to lower property taxes on a family-owned shopping center.

He's also all but disappeared. It's a long race, and you don't win a nomination in April of the year before election day. If he's being frugal and figuring out what he believes, it might be a good move.

But it's notable that all the "pretty boy" hype that Bob Frank owned going into this race has been handed over to Mayor Pete. Perhaps Beto is spending his time working on curbing the sweating, the hand gestures, and the issues with jumping on counters like a feline.

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4. Pete Buttigieg: 62.9 (Last week: 3rd / 62.9)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

When we first put candidates in tiers earlier this year, we broke everyone into five categories from "Front Runners" to "Eh, no." In the middle is a category called "Maybe, if everything goes right," and that's where we put Pete Buttigieg.

Well, everything has gone right so far. But Mayor Pete will be interested to learn that the other 19 candidates in this race are not going to hand him this nomination. Eventually, they will start saying negative things about him (they've started the opposition research process already), and it will be interesting to see how Petey deals with the pressure. We've already seen how it has affected Beto in a similar situation.

The media has spoken endlessly about the sexual orientation of Buttigieg, but not every Democratic activist is impressed. Barney Frank thinks the main reason he's getting this amount of attention is because he is gay. And for some, being a gay man just means you're a man, which isn't good enough.

When you base your vote on a candidate's genitals, things can get confusing.

Other headlines:

3. Kamala Harris: 68.6 (Last week: 1st / 69.1)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

There are a couple of ways to view the Harris candidacy so far.

#1 - Harris launched with much fanfare and an adoring media. She has since lost her momentum. Mayor Pete and former Mayor Bernie have the hype, and Kamala is fading.

#2 - Harris is playing the long game. She showed she can make an impact with her launch, but realizes that a media "win" ten months before an important primary means nothing. She's working behind the scenes and cleaning up with donations, prominent supporters, and loads of celebrities to execute an Obama style onslaught.

I tend to be in category 2, but I admit that's somewhat speculative. Harris seems to be well positioned to make a serious run, locking up more than double the amount of big Clinton and Obama fundraisers than any other candidate.

One interesting policy development for Harris that may hurt her in the primary is her lack of utter disgust for the nation of Israel. There's basically one acceptable position in a Democratic primary when it comes to Israel, which is that it's a racist and terrorist state, existing only to torture innocent Palestinians.

Certainly no one is going to mistake Harris for Donald Trump, but a paragraph like this is poison to the modern Democratic primary voter:

"Her support for Israel is central to who she is," Harris' campaign communications director, Lily Adams, told McClatchy. "She is firm in her belief that Israel has a right to exist and defend itself, including against rocket attacks from Gaza."

Just portraying the rocket attacks as "attacks" is controversial these days for Democrats, and claiming they are responses to attacks indicates you think the Jeeeewwwwwwwws aren't the ones responsible for the start of every hostility. Heresy!

Someone get Kamala a copy of the 'Protocols of the Elders of Zion' before she blows her chance to run the free world.

2. Bernie Sanders: 69.2 (Last week: 2nd / 68.3)

CANDIDATE PROFILE

If Bernie Sanders hates millionaires as much as he claims, he must hate the mirror. As a millionaire, it might surprise some that he donated only 1% to charity. But it shouldn't.

It's entirely consistent with Sandersism to avoid giving to private charity. Why would you? Sanders believes the government does everything better than the private sector. He should be giving his money to the government.

Of course, he doesn't. He takes the tax breaks from the evil Trump tax plan he derides. He spends his money on fabulous vacation homes. He believes in socialism for thee, not for me.

Yes, this is enough to convince the Cardi B's of the world, all but guaranteeing a lock on the rapper-and-former-stripper-that-drugged-and-stole-from-her-prostitution-clients demographic. But can that lack of consistency hold up in front of general election voters?

If Bernie reads this and would like a path to credibility, clear out your bank account and send it here:

Gifts to the United States
U.S. Department of the Treasury
Funds Management Branch
P.O. Box 1328
Parkersburg, WV 26106-1328


Other headlines:

1. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.: 78.8 (NEW)

Joe has run for president 113 times during his illustrious career, successfully capturing the presidency in approximately zero of his campaigns.

However, when the eternally woke Barack Obama had a chance to elevate a person of color, woman, or anything from the rainbow colored QUILTBAG, he instead chose the oldest, straightest, whitest guy he could find, and our man Robinette was the beneficiary.

Biden has been through a lot, much of it of his own making. Forget about his plagiarism and propensity to get a nostril full of each passing females' hair, his dealings while vice president in both Ukraine and China are a major general election vulnerability— not to mention a legal vulnerability for his children. But hey, win the presidency and you can pardon everyone, right?

His supposed appeal to rust belt voters makes him, on paper, a great candidate to take on Trump. The Clinton loss hinged on about 40,000 voters changing their mind from Hillary to Donald in a few states—the exact areas where victory could possibly be secured by someone named "Middle Class Joe" (as he alone calls himself.)

No one loves Joe Biden more than Joe Biden, and there's a relatively convincing case for his candidacy. But we must remember this unquestionable truth: Joe Biden is not good at running for president.

He's a gaffe machine that churns out mistake after mistake, hoping only to have his flubs excused by his unending charisma. But, will that work without the use of his legendary groping abilities? Only time, and a few dozen unnamed women, will tell.

Also, yes. Robinette is really his middle name.

If only Karl Marx were alive today to see his wackiest ideas being completely paraded around. He would be so proud. I can see him now: Sprawled out on his hammock from REI, fiddling around for the last vegan potato chip in the bag as he binge-watches Academy Awards on his 70-inch smart TV. In between glances at his iPhone X (he's got a massive Twitter following), he sips Pepsi. In his Patagonia t-shirt and NIKE tennis shoes, he writes a line or two about "oppression" and "the have-nots" as part of his job for Google.

His house is loaded with fresh products from all the woke companies. In the fridge, he's got Starbucks, he loves their soy milk. He's got Ben & Jerry's in the freezer. He tells everyone that, if he shaved, he'd use Gillette, on account of the way they stand up for the Have-Nots. But, really, Marx uses Dollar Shave Club because it's cheaper, a higher quality. Secretly, he loves Chic-Fil-A. He buys all his comic books off Amazon. The truth is, he never thought people would actually try to make the whole "communism" thing work.

RELATED: SOCIALISM: This is the most important special we have done

Companies have adopted a form of socialism that is sometimes called woke capitalism. They use their status as corporations to spread a socialist message and encourage people to do their part in social justice. The idea of companies in America using socialism at all is as confusing and ridiculous as a donkey in a prom dress: How did this happen? Is it a joke? Why is nobody bursting out in laughter? How far is this actually going to go? Does someone actually believe that they can take a donkey to prom?

Companies have adopted a form of socialism that is sometimes called woke capitalism.

On the micro level, Netflix has made some socialist moves: The "like/dislike" voting system was replaced after a Netflix-sponsored stand-up special by Amy Schumer received as tidal wave of thumb-downs. This summer, Netflix will take it a step further in the name of squashing dissent by disabling user comments and reviews. And of course most of us share a Netflix account with any number of people. Beyond that, they're as capitalist as the next mega-company.

Except for one area: propaganda. Netflix has started making movie-length advertisements for socialism. They call them "documentaries," but we know better than that. The most recent example is "Knock Down the House," which comes out tomorrow. The 86-minute-long commercial for socialism follows four "progressive Democrat" women who ran in the 2018 midterms, including our favorite socialist AOC.

Here's a snippet from the movie so good that you'll have to fight the urge to wave your USSR flag around the room:

This is what the mainstream media wants you to believe. They want you to be moved. They want the soundtrack to inspire you to go out and do something.

Just look at how the mainstream media treated the recent high-gloss "documentary" about Ilhan Omar, "Time for Ilhan." It received overwhelmingly bad ratings on IMDb and other user-review platforms, but got a whopping 93% on the media aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.

This is exactly what the media wants you to think of when you hear the word socialism. Change. Empowerment. Strength. Diversity. They spend so much energy trying to make socialism cool. They gloss right over the unbelievable death toll. BlazeTV's own Matt Kibbe made a great video on this exact topic.

Any notion of socialism in America is a luxury, made possible by capitalism. The woke companies aren't actually doing anything for socialism. If they're lucky, they might get a boost in sales, which is the only thing they want anyway.

We want to show you the truth. We want to tell you the stories you won't hear anywhere else, not on Netflix, not at some movie festival. We're going to tell you what mainstream media doesn't want you to know.

Look at how much history we've lost over the years. They changed it slowly. But they had to. Because textbooks were out. So people were watching textbooks. It was printed. You would bring the book home. Mom and dad might go through it and check it out. So you had to slowly do things.

Well, they're not anymore. There are no textbooks anymore. Now, you just change them overnight. And we are losing new history. History is being changed in realtime.

RELATED: 'Good Morning Texas' joins Glenn to get an inside look at Mercury Museum

You have to write down what actually is happening and keep a journal. Don't necessarily tell everybody. Just keep a journal for what is happening right now. At some point, our kids won't have any idea of the truth. They will not have any idea of what this country was, how it really happened. Who were the good guys. Who were the bad guys. Who did what.

As Michelle Obama said. Barack knows. We have to change our history. Well, that's exactly what's happening. But it's happening at a very rapid pace.

We have to preserve our history. It is being systematically erased.

I first said this fifteen years ago, people need clay plots. We have to preserve our history as people preserved histories in ancient days, with the dead see scrolls, by putting them in caves in a clay pot. We have to preserve our history. It is being systematically erased. And I don't mean just the history of the founding of our country. I mean the history that's happening right now.

And the history that's happening right now, you're a problem if you're a conservative or a Christian. You are now a problem on the left, if you disagree and fall out of line at all. This is becoming a fascistic party. And you know what a fascist is. It doesn't matter if you're a Democrat or a Republican or an independent. If you believe it's my way or the highway, if you believe that people don't have a right to their opinion or don't have a right to their own life — you could do be a fascist.

Christianity might seem pretty well-protected in the U.S., but that's not the case in many parts of the globe.

On Easter Sunday, suicide bombers made the news for killing 290 innocent Christians in Sri Lanka and injuring another 500. On Tuesday, ISIS claimed responsibility for the massacre. Of course, the Western world mourned this tragic loss of life on a holy day of worship, but we forget that this isn't an isolated incident. Indeed, Christians are discriminated at extreme levels worldwide, and it needs to be brought to light. And whenever we do highlight brutal persecutions such as the Easter bombings in Sri Lanka, we need to call them what they are — targeted attacks against Christians. Sadly, many of our politicians are deathly afraid to do so.

RELATED: Hey media, there is absolutely a war on Christians!

A 2018 Pew Research Center study found that Christians are harassed in 144 countries — the most of any other faith — slightly outnumbering Muslims for the top of the list. Additionally, Open Doors, a non-profit organization that works to serve persecuted Christians worldwide, found in their 2019 World Watch List that over 245 million Christians are seriously discriminated against for their religious beliefs. Sadly, this translates into 4,136 Christians killed and 2,625 either arrested, sentenced, imprisoned, or detained without trial over the year-long study period. And when it comes to churches, those in Sri Lanka were merely added to a long list of 1,266 Christian buildings attacked for their religion.

These breathtaking stats receive very little coverage in the Western world. And there seems to be a profound hesitation from politicians in discussing the issue of persecution against Christians. In the case of the Sri Lanka bombings, there's even a reluctance to use the word "Christian."

After the horrific Pittsburgh Synagogue and New Zealand Mosque shootings, Democrats rightfully acknowledged the disturbing trend of targeted attacks against Jews and Muslims. But some of these same politicians refer to the Sri Lanka bombings with careless ambiguity.

So why is it so hard for our leaders to acknowledge the persecutions Christians face?

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, for instance, certainly did — calling the incursions "attacks on Easter worshippers." Understandably, the term confused and frustrated many Christians. Although, supporters of these politicians argued the term was appropriate since a recent Associated Press report used it, and it was later picked up by a variety of media outlets, including Fox News. However, as more Democrats like 2020 presidential candidate Julián Castro and Rep. Dan Kildee continued to use the phrase "Easter worshippers," it became clear that these politicians were going out of their way to avoid calling a spade a spade.

So why is it so hard for our leaders to acknowledge the persecutions Christians face? For starters, Christianity in democratic countries like the U.S. is seen differently than in devastated countries like Somalia. According to Pew Research, over 70% of Americans are Christian, with 66% of those Christians being white and 35% baby boomers. So while diverse Christians from all over the world are persecuted for their faith—in the U.S., Christians are a dominant religion full of old white people. This places Christians at the bottom of progressives' absurd intersectional totem poll, therefore leaving little sympathy for their cause. However, the differing experiences of Christians worldwide doesn't take away from the fact that they are unified in their beliefs.

By refusing to name the faith of the Sri Lankan martyrs, politicians are sending a message that they have very little, if no, concern about the growing amount of persecution against Christians worldwide.

Martyrs don't deserve to be known as "Easter worshippers." They should be known by the Christian faith they gave their lives for. Decent politicians need to call the tragedy in Sri Lanka what it is — a vicious attack on the Christian faith.

Patrick Hauf (@PatrickHauf) is a writer for Young Voices and Vice President of Lone Conservative. His work can be found in the Washington Examiner, Townhall, FEE, and more.